Dauntless Bootcamp
by Leneah1
Summary: Dani has a problem with anger that has landed her in bootcamp. What happens when one of her instructors, Eric, pushes her boundaries? Boundaries even he doesn't understand.
1. Chapter 1

**Dauntless Bootcamp**

 _Summary: Dani has a problem with anger which mainly stems from her issue with not liking to be touched. When she gets in trouble for the 4th time the Judge decides to try something new, she is sent away to attend Dauntless Bootcamp with 11 others. When she gets there it is a rude awakening but becomes interesting when she meets one of the instructors Eric, who pushes her boundaries._

 **This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!**

 **Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.**

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 **Chapter 1: Sentencing**

 _This sucks_!

Sitting here in my cell waiting to get my final visit after my fate was sealed yesterday, and all I can do is think about what has happened in the last 24-hours. Why couldn't they just have sent me to J.D. for a few months. Its not like it is the first time. I know I have always had anger issues and I tend to take it out on people, but damn. In the past, it has always been the same thing; get in trouble, get arrested, do a few months in J.D. and then go back home. All three times it was for the same thing, assault. I do not do well with people bossing me around or touching me for that matter.

A lot of people tend to blame my parents but they are really not bad people. They raise me, my sisters and brother the best they could. My dad kills himself working construction and mom always worked those little meaningless jobs that helped out while trying to keep us out of trouble. But living in Chicago, there is only so much your parents can do to keep you out of trouble. Really, compared to most families in our neighborhood, our family wasn't that bad.

My oldest sister had a problem with drugs in high school but she graduated and turned her life around and is at college with my "perfect sister" who never got in any trouble. I mean seriously, the most she ever tried was smoking pot and that was only once. But I had to give it to her, I loved her _I don't give a fuck what other people do or say_ attitude, and admired that fact that she could hold her tongue; something I was terrible at.

My other sister was closer to me because she was only 1 year older, but she fell in with the wrong crowd about a year ago, got really bad into drugs and dropped out of school. She was arrested a few months ago and is doing time for I.D theft. I guess she had to find a way to support her habit.

Even though I was close to my sister, my younger brother Steven and I have always been the closest. He is a good kid and we always looked out for each other. He was one of those rare guys that always treated girls with respect and was extremely protective. I guess having 4 older sisters will do that to you. Although he sells from time to time to make a little bit of extra money, he has never been caught and is good student in school. He plans on getting out of Chicago no matter what it takes and football is his ticket.

The expression on his face that day is what crushed me the most when I went in front of the Judge. Of course it was her, the same Judge I manage to get every time. I thought it was going to be like every other time, but boy was I wrong.

When I went in front of Judge Renee, she started out the same way she always does, "You have been charged and convicted of assault. Again. This is your 4th conviction and to be honest, I am tired of seeing you. You are turn 18 in the next few months, so it will no longer be my concern because next time, you won't be in Juvenile Court being sentenced to Juvenile Detention, you will be in Adult Court and it is going to be real jail time."

"Ya, I am aware of that," _crap, did I say that out loud. I really got to stop speaking my mind out loud._

She ignored me and continued after a beat, "Dealing with the current issue, it is obvious Juvenile Detention isn't working, so instead I am sentencing you to 4 months at the Dauntless Bootcamp in Cle Elum, Washington." She kept talking but that was when my world went quite and she was merely a hum in the background.

She continued on to say something about they have a 90% success rate in turning teens around and they have made a deal to send 12 teens from here in Chicago. They are hoping to start a similar camp here in the near future, blah, blah, blah.

I wasn't really listening because all I could do was stare at brother's face, and see the anger and helpless look that appeared almost as quick as I could turn around. I automatically knew what he was thinking "How do I protect her there?" He had always been there to help me. His extracurricular activities had gained him many friends which was usually to my benefit.

I had a quick mouth that tend to get me in to trouble and while I wasn't terrible at fighting I certainly wasn't great. I won some, I loss some, but none of that matters in J.D. because people in there don't fight fair. You are either with a group or you spent most of your time in the infirmary, or in some cases even worse. Unfortunately for me, with my attitude, I didn't make friends easily. My brother always had contacts on the inside to make sure people left me alone. But he was small time, his contacts didn't reach beyond Chicago.

Whatever, at least I don't have to deal with those dumb asses in J.D. but sending me all the way to some hick town in Washington to spend my entire summer there...this just sucks!

My cell door opens and I am escorted to the visiting room.

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 **Please let me know what you think. I will update as often as possible, especially if I see people enjoy it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!**

 **Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

Its 6:45 in the morning and the guard leads me into a room where my parents and my brother sit, and tells me we have 10 minutes as he turns around to leave. As always the first thing out of my dads mouth, "What did you do that for?" His lips are pressed in a straight line as he pauses to give me a minute to think about what he just said. Right away I knew what he meant. Although he's only said six words, the implications were so much more.

My dad is a man of few words. He believes that "attitude is the difference" in life and he was always able to say so much in so few words because his actions and emotion said so much more. He only said six words but I really know he meant; "why did you do this again, I am so disappointed in you, why are you putting us through this again, I thought you learned your lesson," All the small quick remarks he has made to me over the years come flooding into to mind as he knew they would. I immediately felt like shit for letting him down once again.

I have always loved and respected my dad. He is a really good man and tries hard to provide for his family. He is the only one I never mouth off to.

"Sorry Dad"

He shakes his head and continues, "Well now you have to pay the consequences. I really hope this place they are sending you to teaches you something. We all have anger issues but you need to learn to control them. Your not a kid anymore Danielle!" Funny coming from him since I knew he has let loose a few times himself. Although he was lucking enough to never be arrested for it. I look at my mom and she sits quietly with a solemn look on her face.

I get my anger from her too but she is more controlled. My uncle had told me once some lady was trying to fight with her at the bar, and when my mom sat down the lady went to swing her purse to hit my mom in the head. She merely ducked, grabbed the woman's head, slammed it on the table and then went back to drinking her drink while the girl's boyfriend dragged her out of the bar. She really didn't have room to lecture me either. But I know I fucked up and I am sure it is showing on my face.

Seeing my face, satisfied that he got his point across, my dad gets up and gives me a strong hug, kissed me on my head and walks out of the room, I take it he is late for work. Although it has only been a few minutes and he didn't say more than a few sentences I feel like he has been talking for hours. He always knew how to talk to me. He knew a short intense talk sunk in better than talking to me for long periods of time, which I would likely just start tuning him out like I did my mom. Quickly following after my dad, my mother gives me a hug and kiss and said she loves me and that I need to listen to my father and walks out too leaving just me and my brother.

We only had a few more minutes before visiting was over and he didn't waste anytime.

"Dammit what the hell were you thinking?" he yells as he gets up and started pacing.

Never one to back down I looked him straight in his face, "I was thinking that prick grabbed my ass and put his hands on me like I was his, then tried to kiss me! I know he is the one who got Karen pregnant, I mean fuck, he is a damn Senior and she is a freshmen. So what, he fucks her, dumps her and then thinks he can just get all touchy with me and I am going to let him! He should have known better to keep his damn hands off me."

"And you think that justified breaking his nose and giving him a concussion? I mean if I wasn't there to pull you off him, you probably wouldn't have stopped until he was dead. Seriously, if he wasn't so shocked I doubt you would have had a chance to do so much damage, he is almost twice your size."

I was starting to get pissed at his implication that I should back down just because he was bigger, "Yeah that crossed my mind which is why when he went down after that first punch, my instinct kicked in and I jumped on him and started banging his head on the damn ground. I wanted to make sure he didn't have time to get up. That was until you pulled me off him. You know I could have handled it."

He gets even louder, "That is what you always say but I am always the one that has to deal with the aftermath. Do you know how much it cost me to protect you when your inside? And now what am I suppose to do? You are going half way across the country to some hick town that I have no connections in." I knew that was what he was thinking yesterday. He lowers his voice to almost a whisper, "You need to be careful and be smart. Get you damn emotions in check because there is nothing I can do this time." It drove me nuts that he was able to control his emotions so much better than me.

He sounds utterly defeated and it is enough to calm me down. I look down at my fingers that are twirling themselves around each other, "Don't worry about me, I will be ok. I am your _older_ sister remember. You don't always have to be there to protect me."

"Well you may be older but I bigger and much more handsome." My lips curl up into a smile, only he could calm me down so quickly.

"Whatever ass, people thought we were twins until you grew six inches taller than me. Don't forget I use to kick your ass too!" He laughs and I know our argument is over. We never do fight for long.

"Seriously sis, please be careful. I don't want anything bad to happen to you." Just then the guard enters and tells me my time is up. My brother gives me a strong hug and kisses me on the head just like dad did. "Laters kid, see you in four months." Damn tall people. "Later bro, take care of shit around here while I am gone. Love ya"

He just smiles and shakes his head as he walks out and glances back with a "Love you too!"

The guard walks me back to my cell and lets me know the bus leaves in an hour.

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 **Well there is the second one! Le me know what you think. The chapters are going to start to get longer too. I don't know if I will be updating daily but I will update as much as I can. Thanks to those who have reviewed!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews and follows. Good to know someone likes what I am writing. These chapters are going to start getting a bit longer as we get more into the story. Here is another one for you!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 3: The Ride**

Exactly an hour later I am loaded on a bus with 11 other teens. I am the last one loaded and they take me to the last row. Irritated at myself I keep my head down, not in shame but in frustration. When I finally look up as I sit down, I noticed, we are each seated on the bus in our own row alternating which side of the bus we are on. I assume it is because they don't want us talking to each other. There are three guards, two in the front seat, one on each side, and one in the driver seat. As soon as they have us seated one of the three guards stands and starts talking to us.

"Good morning. My name is Tim, this fella next to me is Matt and the driver over there is James. This drive is going to take about 30 hours so get comfortable. You are not to move from your seat unless told otherwise. You are not to talk to anyone unless told otherwise." _Knew it._ "We will be making regular stops for fuel and bathroom breaks, but on our schedule, so don't bother me with 'I have to piss' speech. Go when we stop or don't go at all. You will be provided with brown bag meals on this trip , water and you will clean up your own garbage or I will make you sorry. We have been kind enough to remove your cuffs but they can easily be place back on. Lets get this show on the road James." He says as he turns around and sits back down.

The bus pulls out and we are on our way. To fucking Washington...to some camp out side the hick town of Cle Elum. This sucks!

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For the first few hours we are all really silent, mostly looking out of the windows as Chicago disappears behind us, then Illinois. I watch the signs go by as we pass city after city. Just as we passed the sign that said "Entering Warrens", Tim get up and announces that we are making a pit stop for gas and bathroom breaks. I am really relieved because I have to pee really fucking bad.

As we pull in to a gas station Tim speaks up again. "I will be escorting you to the bathrooms one at a time until James is done pumping gas and then Matt will also be taking people. I expect to be done and out of here in 15 minutes. Ladies first, who needs to piss?"

I quickly raise my hand and he motions for me to get off the bus. As I get off the bus and start to stretch a bit, he grabs me by the arm and tries to start walking. His actions weren't aggressive but I have always had an issue with people touching me and I immediately jerk away violently and then freeze when I am free of his hand. I have been this way for a long time, every since I was a 9, I freak out when people touch me. Which is usually why I got in trouble. When I got a little older I tended to lash out physically when people touched me. I only ever felt comfortable around family and a few really close friends.

I look at Tim and I see that he is in full on alert mode. Matt is on his feet just inside the bus watching us. I try to relax a little and take a half a step back toward him so I am next to him but not touching him. I quickly explain in a very low voice, "Please...I don't like to be touched." I don't know if it was my tone or the look on my face but he relaxes a little and murmurs to me, "Fine, you stay right next to me and do not try anything funny." I nod and start walking. He walks close behind me to the restroom on the side of the building and then steps in front of me. "You have two minutes."

"That's it...really?" He gets a smirk on his face, "Be happy, if you were a guy you would only be get one. Now hurry up, time is ticking." With that I hurry into the bathroom.

I feel so much better after I finished peeing, but by the time I finish and wash my hands, splash some water on my face, Tim is beating on the door telling me time is up.

I grab a paper towel and walk out of the bathroom. Tim goes to grab my arm again but when I flinch, he gives me an odd look and puts his hands down by his side again and we walk back toward the bus.

I am getting on the bus and starting for my seat as and Tim is calling out for the next person, "Ohh shit, its Dani!", I freeze and my head snaps up knowing only people who know me call me by my nickname. I see Jeff and two seats behind him is Patrick, my mood goes from being irritated to excited in a blink of an eye. How did I not see them before. Jeff stands up to hug me as I pass but Tim pushes me forward and shoves Jeff down much harder than necessary.

"I said no talking and sure as hell no touching!" I just give both boys a smile and head back to the back of the bus and into my seat.

As soon as the bus is going again Matt hands us all a bag for lunch. It consist of a PB & J sandwich, an apple, a small bag of chips and a bottle of water. I roll my eyes at the basic lunch but I guess it is better then the crap food at J.D. I look up and see Jeff smiling at me. I cannot believe him and Patrick are going to Dauntless Bootcamp too. What are the fucking odds.

I sit back and rest my head on my seat and look out the window. The boys and I haven't been good friends for a long time, but when we were in elementary school, we were best friends. We use to do everything together. Patrick lived in the apartment downstairs from me and Jeff lived down the street. When we got to middle school they both got in with the group of kids who did drugs. That was really not my scene. I had seen people I know go down some dark paths with drugs including my oldest sister.

I started to distance myself from them not wanting to go down that road, but it also pushed me away from people and I became more isolated. I don't make friends easily and coming from my neighborhood, there was a lot of gangs and drugs which made it hard to find good friends who weren't into those things. Yes I had a some friends but not close friends like Patrick and Jeff were.

Once we reach high school we really didn't talk at all any more. Patrick and his parents moved to different apartments across town so I didn't see him much. I would see them at school occasionally but our school was large and has over 4,500 students so the sighting were few and far between. It didn't help that I was in a lot of AP classes either. In the last three years I had only had one class with each of them. I don't think they ever got heavy into drugs like my sisters did but then again I didn't see them enough to know. I realize now how much I missed that close friendship we had, but I know things change and I am sure they are not who they use to be. People change.

They look a little different than I remember but both are seventeen like me. Jeff's black hair is a long on top and shorter on the side, and he has beautiful brown eyes. He is now several inches taller than me from what I can tell and more muscular. He also has a hint of a hit of facial hair peaking through. Patrick looks like he is a little taller too but he was always about the same height as me and I doubt he beats me by much now. He has short blond hair and blue eyes but it was always his cute smirk that girls were attracted too.

* * *

I wake up to Tim calling out to see who needs to piss. I must have fallen asleep. We were in some small looking town and I have no idea where we were or what time it is. This sucks, no cell phone, no watch and no idea what was going on. After a few minutes I am a little more awake and I glace into the gas station and the clock on the wall said it is 5:00 pm. Crap I slept for almost 4 hours. I must have been really tired.

Tim gets on the bus and makes a last call for the bathroom. I really don't need to go but I know it would be hours before I get another chance so I raised my hand and he beckoned me forward. As I was passing Patrick who was sitting on the edge of his seat he discretely pinched my thigh. Other than my lip curling up into a half smile, I had no reaction. I knew it was his way of saying hello.

Passing Jeff I knew he saw it and I smile at him too. It was are thing. We use to do it in school so we didn't get in trouble in class for talking. They were my only two friends who I would allow me to touch me without getting pissed off. I get off the bus grateful that they are with me.

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The next few hours were boring as hell. My ass was beginning to hurt and I couldn't get comfortable. Every once and a while I would look at Jeff and Patrick. A few times when they were looking at me I would just smile and they would smile in return.

I looked around at the other people on the bus. There was four girls including me and eight guys. Most of the guys are pretty cute which is awesome. While I don't like to be touched, I am not afraid to talk to guys. I really don't like girl drama though so I am glad there is twice as many guys. Although I will probably have to share a room with one of the girls (or all of them). that I am not looking forward to. The brown haired girl sitting two seats in front of me is staring out the window and it looks like she is crying and the black haired girl sitting a few seats behind Patrick, eyes are red like she has been crying. Not a good sign, can't they just suck it up already.

We all look similar in age, around 16 or 17. I heard Matt talking to James earlier about how this was a last chance bootcamp and we were all in for a treat. His voice was oozing with sarcasm so I can just imagine this is going to be a pain the ass. Because it is a "last chance" bootcamp, so I am probably right that we are all close to being 18.

I notice many of the guys have fallen asleep but I can't because I took a nap. I think about trying to talk to the guy that is sitting in the next row up who is still awake but James has already gotten all pissed about people trying to talk and has shouted at several at the guys so I decide to just keep quite.

I grab the bag sitting next to me that I got for dinner and eat the string cheese that is still in there. I already ate my sandwich but wasn't very hungry especially since it was PB & J again. The only difference from lunch was we didn't get chips this time, we got a cheese stick.

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By the next day I am just itching to fucking be there already. I don't care that it is out in the middle of nowhere, I am just tired of being on this damn bus. Our morning went the same as yesterday and throughout the night, stopping every 4-5 hours to use the bathroom. For breakfast we got a muffin and fruit which was a relief, I figured they were going to get PB & J again. A little while after we got breakfast we crossed into Washington State and I knew we were close.

Our last stop was a few hours ago (or so I think since I have nothing to tell time) in Moses Lake which seemed like a nice little town. I could see people relaxing on the beach on the lake when we were leaving town and it made me depressed. I sat back and day dreamed what it would be like to be there relaxing on the beach. Tim had given us another brown bag for lunch but as soon as I saw it was PB & J yet again, I just tossed it aside.

Pulling me out of my daydream I am ecstatic to see the sign that says "Entering Cle Elum". The bus exits the freeway and we drive through a small one-stop light town. There is a little cafe called "The Cottage" on the end of town, _how original._ This town really looks like something out of a western movie with the long store fronts that line main street and nothing but homes behind them. As we reach the other end of town we got to the right at the fork in the road. I see a Safeway sign down the fork to the left as we turn, but besides the Safeway and the Dairy Queen we passed, there is no sign of city life.

As we head to what I am guessing is the outside edge of the town, all I see is trees. It looks like this is going to be an all out camping type of camp; with woods, chirping birds and all. A few minutes later we start to go down what looks like a long, rough, dirt driveway and I see the sign we pass under that says "Dauntless Bootcamp" and I know we're here. Finally!

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 **Another one done and out. Please let me know what you think! Thoughts and ideas are welcome, what do you like or dislike. I am good with constructive criticism. Until next time.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks again for those who followed this story and for the reviews. I really appreciate it. This story has just been flowing out of my head almost faster than I can write it. Dani has finally arrived at bootcamp and just for the record Cle Elum is a real town I use to visit a lot when I was younger. This particular camp is made up but there are several summer camps that do exist up there, in fact all 6th graders in South Seattle go and stay there for one week during the school year.**

 **There has been questions about Eric whether he looks the book Eric or the movie Eric. I imagine him much like the picture on this story, is hair is not as short as the Movie Eric but it isn't really long either and he doesn't have tons of tattoos but he does have some that will be reveled later and does have several piercings.**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Our Arrival**

 _(Sunday, May 31st)_

The first thing I notice through the open windows is how much different the air smells. I guess I hadn't paid much attention until now. It is clean and smells like trees. No smog or sewers or garbage. Looking out the window I see and hear a fast moving river through the trees. There are so many trees, nothing like back home in Chicago. Living in the city we don't have nothing like this. It really is beautiful.

The bus comes to a stop in a large round driveway with a flag poll at the center. At the top there is an American Flag and just below it is a black flag but because there is no wind I have no idea what's on it. There are four identical square buildings that line what I am assuming is the front of the property and running between the two middle buildings is a neat dirt path lined by logs.

At the beginning of the path are two good looking men standing with their feet shoulder width apart and hand behind their backs. They both have short brown hair but one is taller by several inches. They have on black pants and black t-shirts that show off their muscular upper body and flat stomachs. My lips turn up in a grin as I look at them. _Great, even if this sucks there will still be something nice to look at._

The taller guy gets on the bus, his eyes sweeping back and forth looking at all of us. The hard look on his face says that he is all business. I take in his looks and he is damn good looking. And the small gages in his ears and that piercing above his eyebrow is kinda hot. His hair is darker brown than the other guy and the top of it is a little long, but it is his eyes that I am drawn to. They are dark but light at the same time. I can't tell what color they are, but I can tell they are not brown.

As his eyes fall to mine I am frozen knowing I just got caught staring at his eyes trying to figure out their color. His gaze is so intense I cannot look away. After a second he looks away and start talking in a low but strong level voice that resonates throughout the bus.

"Well, well. Don't you guys look like a sorry bunch of maggots." _Well damn, he definitely isn't prince charming, why do the hot ones always have to be jerks._

He continues without taking a breath, "I am Eric and I am one of your instructors here. You will all follow me off the bus, grab the bag next to Four with your name on it, and you will walk quietly down the path and go stand in front of the stage in the courtyard." I glance at the other guy and see bags lined up neatly near his feet that I hadn't noticed before. _Did he just call that other guy Four...what kind of name is that._

He turns and exits the bus, we all look around at each other a little confused about what is happening. When we don't move immediately, Eric shouts "Move" and it breaks us out of our trance and we start toward the front of the bus. As I exit the bus I hear Tim and Matt laughing which just makes me more uneasy about the situation. My lips turn down in irritation. _Sure glad they think it is funny, assholes._

I move at a lazy pace and grab a black duffle bag that has "Danielle" printed on it in thick, bold, red letters. I don't particularly like people calling me by my full name. Back home the only person that called me "Danielle" was my dad and that was only if he was upset.

Everyone else just calls me Dani, a nickname I got young and it stuck. I roll my eyes and with a sigh I start walking. I glance around and see Patrick and Jeff fall in front and behind me. I hear Patrick whisper "Hey D," as we walk. I also notice the guy Eric look irritated; we must not be going fast enough for him. As if he was reading my mind he looks at me and stouts "Hurry up, I don't have all day."

We walk into the courtyard and there is a large but short stage to the right of us, sitting in front a a weird shape building. The building looks like three long rectangle buildings, that all connect at one end to round room that is at the center. I bet from the sky it looks like a triangle. In front of us is four more identical square buildings that mirror the ones we just walked between. To the left is two long rectangular buildings that sit end to end. All the buildings are matching log cabin styles and they blend into the trees behind them.

The courtyard is a pentagon shape that reminds me of a crosswalk sign with the buildings lining it. The path we came in on connects to a dirt path that runs just inside the buildings edge all the way around the courtyard except, instead of following the weird shape building behind the stage, it runs in a straight line in front of the stage creating a square pathway. The path is lined with small logs all the way around on both sides with short paths that lead to the entrance of each building. Other than the path, the rest of the courtyard ground is a plush green grass that is cut to perfection, you can even see the mow lines.

This place is actually really beautiful. Nothing like Chicago or the city. It is looking like this place will be better than four months in J.D. But I am not stupid, I am sure they call this "Bootcamp" for a reason and my anxiety starts to grow with my unease and I see I am not the only one. Several of the others I came with have the same unsure look plastered on their faces.

Standing on the Stage is an African American man that looks slightly older than the other people but he is wearing the same black pants and a tight black t-shirt. Next to him is a tall slender Asian Woman wearing a tight black pant suit who seems to be sizing us up as we walk toward them. Lining the front of the stage to the right there is several men and to the left there are several women.

They all look young, maybe in their early 20s and they are standing with military precision with their hands at their sides and looking straight forward. I am starting to think this is going to be like damn military training only they are not wearing camo clothing. They are all wearing black pants and tight black t-shirts. The only difference is the women's tee shirts are v-neck instead of crew neck. They are all extremely fit and muscular. My teenage girl side starts to waken up.

Our group stops loosely scattered in front of the stage including Jeff and Patrick who come to a stop on either side of me. The two guys that escorted us in fall in line next to the guys in front of the stage and the man on the stage starts talking breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. You are here today because you can't seem to follow the law like everyone else in society. You have been sent here to learn how normal citizens should act and that is exactly what I plan on teaching you. Starting today your are cadets and will be addressed as such. We use first names here as this is not the damn military and in the real world people use first names these days not last names." _Ok that wasn't what I was expected._

"I first want to introduce myself. I am Max and this is my camp so if you mark it up or destroy anything you will be answering to me. Beside me is my operations manager Tori. When I am not here, she is in charge." His voice tightens as he is talking about his camp but then lightens up as he introduces the woman.

He pauses and gestures to the people in front of him. "These people lining the stage in front of me is our staff." He begins on the end of the girls line and starts to introduce them. As he calls their names they step forward, nod and then stop back. "The young lady on the end is Tris. She mainly teaches in the classrooms but she will also be helping out our instructors in the field. Next to her is Christina and she is the one that cooks our our wonderful meals so I would suggest being nice to her. Marlene here is our resident nurse. If you have any medical issues, she is the one you will want to see."

With another pause he turns to the other side. "Over here we have Uriah who is our maintenance and grounds keeper. Next to him we have Will." As he says Will's Name, instead of stepping forward, he bends down and grabs a small bag and walks over to us. "Will here is our Tech Guy. He is going to put trackers on your wrist. With these trackers, our staff can find your location at all times." As Max is talking Will starts to put skinny metal bands on everyone's wrist.

When he secures mine, I notice there is no clasp, one end slides into another and when it is tight, Will removes a weird looking pin. I examine it closer. It really looks more like a bracelet than a tracker. Once when I was on house arrest, I had a home monitor on my ankle; it was bulky and irritated the shit out of me. This is different, it is pretty thin, and the band is only about a half an inch wide and displays the time on it. If it had a design on it, it would almost be pretty, but it didn't, it was just plain metal. I tried to move it to see how much play it had and it is loose enough to move just a little but there was no way I was going to be able to slide it off. At least it seems comfortable and now I will know the time.

As I examine my tracker, Max keeps talking, "These are not those shitty trackers you get when your on house arrest. These are top of the line Titanium tracking bracelets. Don't bother trying to remove them, because even in the unlikely event you can get it off, they have security measures and we will know. These also double as your watches. Your days are planned out by time and you are expected to be on time, at all times. So now you have no excuses." Will finishes up and goes back to his place picks up a small tablet from the edge of the stage and starts messing with something on the screen.

Max walks over to the end of the stage where Eric and three other guys are standing and with a slight smile on his face starts talking again. "On the end here are your primary instructors. You have already met Eric, He is the Senior instructor so if you have any issues with other instructors you are to go to him, if you have a problem with him you come to me. This is Paulo and next to him is Four and before I hear any idiot comments, yes his name is a number. Finally we have Zeke."

I look toward Paulo and he looks like he is Islander while Zeke is African American. Both have the same physic as Eric and Four. _Wow, they sure know how to pick em here!_

Max walks back to the center of the stage and Tori steps forward before starting to talk. "As Max said this is not the military. We are not training you for war. Our job is to rehabilitate you in the hopes you will not fall back into your lawless ways. This program has been extremely successful in the past. Matter of fact, most of our staff are previous graduates of this camp." _Seriously_...I find myself wondering what they could have possibly been here for. "Don't get me wrong, this camp is no cake walk. While we may not be the military, that does not mean we do not use the same tactics. We will test and push your limits. You will be focusing on task that test your strength, mental and emotional limits."

She pauses and starts to walk pace slowly across the stage and her tone get more serious, "Your are expected to be respectful at all times. Your are expected to follow the rules at all times and you are expected to learn and uphold our five values of this camp; Dauntless, Erudite, Candor, Amity and Abnegation. If you are unfamiliar with any of these terms you can look them up in the handbook that will be given to you. If you follow the rules your may be rewarded but if you break them, there will be hell to pay. This is your one and only warning."

My mind is still stuck on the previous graduates part. I look at our instructors and I would be willing to bet several of them were in for assault like me. I smile slowly and start shaking my head back and forth. Before I know it Eric is standing right in front of me, my face just inches from his chest. "Is there something funny cadet," his voice is low and intimidating. I look up at him and his expression is less than pleased. I stop smiling and try to reign in my irritation about him being so close to me. Although he is not touching me, he is too close for comfort. I answer him in a steady voice as I look up into his eyes, "Nope." _His eyes are a vibrant grey!_

"That's weird because that smile on your face suggested otherwise." He has not moved an inch but of course his intimidation doesn't scare me. I stand a little taller, "Just because I smile, doesn't mean I think something is funny, I could have just had a happy thought." My head tilts slightly and I half smirk as I finish talking. His face changes into a confuse look for just a second and then returns to his hard face. "We will see how happy you are when training starts," his voice in a much lower clipped tone.

He turns around and starts to walks back to his place when Jeff lets out a small laugh I am sure he is amused that I still have a problem keeping my mouth shut. Eric immediately turns back toward us and gets in Jeff's face. "That goes for you too asshole. You better watch yourself or I am going to make this stay of yours hell. You got me?"

Jeff looks a little stunned, but answers in a steady voice, "Yeah I got you."

His answer just infuriates Eric more. "When you answer a question, you answer me with Yes not Yeah, and next time you address me it will be as Sir or Eric Sir. Do you understand cadet?

"Yes sir," Jeff's voice drops a bit and all amusement is gone from his face. I immediately feel bad knowing it was me that got him in trouble. Eric joins the other instructors who are now forming a square around the outside of our group.

Will hands Max his tablet as Max begins to talk again. "You will all be split into 4 groups. You will be paired with an instructor who will be your lead instructor. When I call your name, go stand next to your instructor. Royce, Leann and Joseph, your lead instructor is Zeke. John, Steven and Terrie, your lead instructor is Four. Danielle, James and Michael, your lead instructor is Eric." _Fuck...I had to get stuck with prince charming_ , "Tara, Jeff and Patrick, your lead instructor is Paulo."

When we are all situated around our instructors Max continues. "Behind me is the main dorms. If you are in Paulo and Eric's groups, you will be in dorm A. If you are in Four or Zeke's groups, you are in dorm B." I can see the letters on the front of each building. "Your instructors are in dorm C on the back side of this building."

In a rush the girl with red hair standing next to Zeke speaks up in a high voice "Wait, we are sleeping in the same rooms as the guys?"

Unamused at her sudden out burst, Max takes a step closer to the front of the stage and he gets a very stern look on his face. "These are co-ed dorms. We do not differentiate by sex here. You are all one big team and you will do everything together as a team. This includes sleeping together. However, sexual contact is strictly forbidden and if caught there will be hell to pay. Guys you will not look down on the women and will see them as nothing other than your equals and vise versa. There is also a strict policy of no harassment so keep your unwelcome comments and actions to yourselves, and girls this goes for you too."

I look around at the guys and see there faces fall. They obviously don't like that rule and it makes my smile return. Before I can continue with my thoughts Max voice brings me back. "It is fourteen thirty now. Your instructors will now show you into your dorms. I know you have been in the same clothes and on a bus for more than a day so you will have two and a half hours to shower, change, unpack your stuff and start learning the rules. I expect everyone to be in the mess haul at seventeen hundred for dinner. Dismissed!"

I turn and follow Eric who is already heading toward the A dorm.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Again thank you for reading this story and all reviews and comments are welcome. I don't know how long I can keep doing a chapter a day but I will as long as I can. I am still a few chapters ahead. As we get into this I had to actually look up some information to be sure it was right and the chapters are getting longer so it is taking longer to write them. Until next time!**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!**

 **Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5: The Dorms**

 _(Sunday, May 31st)_

Once the six people in dorm A get through the front door Eric stops and faces us as Paulo comes from behind us and joins him. "Ok listen up, everyone a pick a bed. This is where you will be sleeping for the next four months. You will not switch spots unless authorized to do so. You will keep your area clean at all times. Beds will be made every morning when you wake up." He walks to the other end of the room where there is another door and stops.

We follow behind him. "Laundry is collected on Sundays and Thursdays. You put your dirty laundry in the laundry bag provided to you and hang it here." He points to the pegs on the wall next to the door. "It will be picked up and cleaned and will be returned to your bed. I do not like smelly, dirty laundry." He mumbles the last part as he walks through the door.

We walk in to a odd round bathroom. There are three frosted glass doors including the one we walked through. I am guessing they go to all three dorms. But they also divide the bathroom into sections. In one section there is 4 showers that are separated by full length walls dividers and each has a curtain that goes to the ground that can be closed. Another section has 4 toilets separated in the same fashion as the showers but they have doors on the front. _At least you can't see through them_. The last section has 4 sinks with mirrors on the wall. In the center of the room there is a odd round dresser with drawers with towels and wash rags neatly folded and stacked on top of it.

Eric looks at us with a smirk on his face. "This is the dorm bathrooms. You will all share this with the other two dorms. All dirty towels and wash rags will go in the laundry basket under the sink there." He points to a tall square basket that sits in between the two middle sinks. "There will always be clean ones on the dresser. When you guys change out of those ridiculous orange outfits, put them in the garbage. I don't want to see them again after dinner." He lays his hand on the dresser, "Each one of you have a drawer with your name on it in which you can keep all your toiletries. There is a toothbrush, toothpaste. the girls have a brush and the boys have a comb. The showers already have shampoo, conditioner and body wash on the rack in the stalls. Do not remove them they are for everyone. If you run out or need anything else, take it up with Tori and if she feels it is a necessity, she will provide it for you."

I really want to test Eric's patience to get back at him for standing so close to me earlier, "Eric, sir, are tampons considered a necessity?" I try to keep my face as straight as possible. I see most of the guys face turn red but Eric doesn't miss a beat. He takes two strides so he is right in front of me again, his face completely unchanged and speaks in a quite voice that I am sure only a few people near me can hear. "Are you currently on your period?"

I am floored. That is not what I expected. Actually I don't think I have ever heard those words out of a mans mouth. "Not just yet." I try to play it cool but my voice betrays me as it falters a bit. How the hell did he do that with a straight face? He steps back a step and raises his voice a bit so we can all hear him. "For the women, feminine products are considered a necessity and can be requested from Tori. Is there any other questions?"

He pauses and looks at me. I shake my head no along with a few others. "Good now go back into the dorm an pick a bed, unpack the contents of the bag provided to you into the chest at the end of your bed, shower and change. There is a handbook and map on the desk next to your beds, I suggest you start reading them. You are to be in the mess hall no later than seventeen hundred hours"

With that, him and Paulo walk through another door that I am sure it leads to their dorm. We file back into our dorm. Jeff puts his stuff on the first bed to the left, I take the second and Patrick takes the third. The other girl takes the one across from Patrick and the other two guys take the remaining two.

I sit on the bed and take in the surroundings. The beds are a basic wood which goes well with the wood interior. The headboard of the beds are flush to the wall. Above each bed is a six panel window that lets in the natural light but are too high to see out of. On one side of the bed is a basic wooden desk that has one drawer that spans the entire desk and a matching chair. On the other side of the bed is a nights stand with a small desk light and an alarm clock. Under the night stand is a square laundry basket with a linen bag lining it. All of our bed spaces look exactly the same but the other side of the room are backward so it mirrors ours.

Just as I am about to get up and start unpacking Tori walks in. "I will be issuing your name tags for you to put on your laundry bags, clothing chest and uniforms. Is there anyone who does not go by their listed name? I will only do this once so speak up now."

I speak up quickly. "I go by Dani not Danielle." She takes note of the spelling as the boy with sandy blond hair speaks up, "I go by Huck."

She raises her eyebrow. "My middle name is Huckleberry so people just call me Huck. There are too many people with the name James." He explains quickly. "And I go by Mike not Michael," the other brown hair boy pipes up.

She writes it down and continues. "Anything else you would like to request right now? Dani, Eric mentioned you needed something." _Shit._ I know I am blushing. I really wont need it for a bit so I just shake my head no. _Damn him_ , he won this round.

"Ok I will be back in an hour," and she walks out.

* * *

Almost an hour later I have gotten my close put away in my chest. I am not sure how they new our sizes but they have provided me with pants, v-neck tee shirts, tank tops, socks, bikini cut cotton underwear and sports bras. Everything is in sets of seven. They also gave me three short/cami pajama outfits, three zip-up hoodies and a pair of boots. All the clothing is black with red stipe running down both sides, except the hoodies which also says "Dauntless Bootcamp" in red on the back with a symbol in the center. Patrick and Jeff are also unpacking and I see that the boys were issued boxer briefs and crew neck tee shirts. They also got ribbed tank tops with their pajamas instead of the cami's I got. All the clothes look like the same thing the other staff was wearing except they don't have the red strips.

Once we finished putting our clothes away we just sit on our beds talking. It turns out we are all 17. Mike and Huck seem like pretty nice guys. It turns out Mike has met Patrick before but they weren't friends. Funny enough, Mike, Patrick and Jeff are all here because they were busted with drugs.

Huck had just moved to Chicago and was arrested for burglary. After a bit of coaxing, Tara told us she was busted for shop lifting. I didn't think that was very serious but she explained it was a expensive diamond bracelet. I guess she made quite a bit of money selling them on the streets. I was in the middle of telling my story when Tori walked in.

She starts handing us our name tags. "The name plate goes on the square on the front of your chest just tear off the back and stick it on. You should attach the small name pin to the top of your laundry bag. The larger name pin should be attached to your shirt or hoodie any time you leave this dorm. There is a spot on the top, left side of all your t-shirts, tank tops and hoodies to attach it. Do not lose these." And with that she turn around and left again.

After talking for a little while longer. I decided I need to shower. Tara, Huck and Mike had already taken theirs while we were all talking. I jump up off my bed grab out a pair of pants, tee shirt, underwear and bra and tell no one imparticular that I am going to take a shower. When I walk in the bathroom there is several people taking showers but there was still one open. I grab a towel, wash rag and go to the stall. There is a small shelf attached to the front of each wall outside the curtain and a hook on the bottom to hang the towel.

I put my clean clothes on the self, hang my towel and get into the shower. The curtain completely closes off the shower so people can't see in. I am far from shy except when it comes to my body. I was never one for skimpy clothing. I do not have a big chest or a big butt. My body is pretty plain. My stomach is not super flat, but it isn't fat either. My frame is more of an athlete without well defined muscle. My thick, dark brown hair falls to the middle of my back and has a bit of a natural wave. It can be a pain to do when I dress up which isn't often. The one thing I really do like about myself is my eyes. They are a deep forest green with hints of brown in them. I have always had guys tell me how beautiful they are. Lost in thought I realize I have finished washing my hair and body.

I turn off the shower and reach out carefully so no one can see inside and grab my towel and dry my body off and then my hair. I am not about to go dress in front of other people so I grab my cloths and put my towel on the floor so I can stand on it. I manage to get dress without getting my clothes wet. I am grateful the showers are big enough to get dressed without touching the sides. I grab my dirty cloths off of the top of the curtain where I had tossed them and grab my towel and rag. I throw my wet towel and rag in the laundry basket, my old clothes in the garbage and look for my drawer in the dresser. Interesting enough the Sticker on it says Dani not Danielle.

I open it to find all the things Eric said would be in there. There are also black hair ties which I am grateful for since I forgot to ask. I grab out the brush and a hair tie. I quickly run the brush through my hair and braid it down the side. Patrick and Jeff come in to shower just as I am leaving.

When I get back to my bed I slip on my socks and boots and put the name pin on my shirt where there is two small stitched holes for it to go through. I see the handbook and map on my desk so I grab it and sit down cross legged on my bed. I might as well look at it since I have about 30 minutes before dinner. I glance at the map and see that square buildings we entered are labeled 1 through 4 and are listed as the Main Office (Max & Tori Offices); Staff Office, Supply building and the Infirmary. The other four square buildings are the staff's cabins. One of the long rectangle buildings is the gym and the other one has the mess hall and classrooms A & B. Their is also a red line that goes round the whole property. Above the red line it says "DO NOT CROSS THIS BOUNDARY" in big, bold, red letter.

This should be easy enough to remember. I put the map down and look at the handbook. It has a circle on the cover with flames in it. It is the same one that is on my hoodie. I open it up and start reading. I skip the first few pages that are titled "About Us" which seems to give a quick story and some statistics on their success.

The next section is the five values. I remember Tori saying something about them. I read through them and their meanings since I have no idea what any of them mean.

 _Amity is defined as friendship and peaceful harmony. To be Amity is to be kind._

 _Candor is defined as being open and sincere to speech. To be Candor is to be honest._

 _Abnegation is defined as denying oneself. To be Abnegation is to be selfless._

 _Erudite is defined as great knowledge and well educated. To be Erudite is to be smart._

 _Dauntless is defined as being bold and courageous. To be Dauntless is to be brave._

It goes more in depth explaining why each is important and ways we are expected to behave that correspond with each. The next section is the rules. I scan through them. It goes over a lot of what was covered earlier such why we are here and our tracking bracelets. It informs me that if I cross the boundary line, our bracelets security measures will go off. _Hmm I wonder what that is suppose to mean_.

Suddenly someone puts their hand on my shoulder. I quickly spin around and hit the person's arm. _Shit._ I hadn't realized it was Patrick. "Sorry, I haven't been use to you guys being around much." I give him a half smile. He rubs his arm and smiles back. "Wow, I think you hit harder than you use too."

I glare at him, "Hahaha, very funny."

His smile gets wider, "Common, we have 10 minutes to get to dinner." I get up off the bed and see Jeff is behind me. Tara, Mike and Huck also getting up and our group heads to the Mess Hall. I see the other group of kids not far behind us. When we get to the door Tris is there. She instructs us to sit at the tables when we get inside.

Inside is a large open room. There are two long wood tables that run parallel to each other and are spaced several feet apart. Each table comfortably sitting 8 on each side. Room seems a little empty with only the two tables since they could clearly put several more tables in here with ease. We stay together as a group and sit at the end of one of the tables. The other group comes in and sits at the end of other table, where several of the other staff members are already sitting. All four instructors come in quietly from a door at the other end of the hall and sit down at our table. At exactly seventeen hundred hours Max walks in and stands at the head of the tables.

"Listen up." He pauses for a minute until the hall is quite. "Meals are served at zero-seven hundred, twelve hundred and seventeen hundred hours. They will only be served for thirty minutes so if you are not here, you don't eat." He waves to the wall behind him. There is a long counter between the room we are in and what is probably the kitchen. Christina is standing on the other side of the counter where a buffet is laid out. "You serve yourself and you clean up after yourself. Cadets, you will each be assigned to clean up after one meal each day. The list will be posted next to the mess hall door every Sunday by dinner time. These clean up groups will change weekly allowing you the chance to work with all of your follow cadets so make sure you check the list every week. The only exception will be today. After dinner, the camp staff will be cleaning up and showing you how things are done here as well as getting you familiar with the kitchen. After this place is cleaned up properly, your lead instructors will give you a quick tour of the grounds. Then you are free to go back to your dorms for the evening. Lights out is at twenty-two hundred and I strongly suggest you get a good nights sleep. Tomorrow we start the hard stuff."

* * *

The rest of the evening was fairly uneventful. I am getting a little more relaxed being here. We cleaned up after dinner and I found out I am on lunch duty tomorrow with Joseph, Terrie and Mike. The schedule rotates us each day from breakfast, to lunch, to dinner. Eric showed us around the the buildings. The classrooms were pretty basic but large enough to fit fifteen people comfortably. The gym was the most interesting, it is huge. It has a boxing ring, punching bags, weights, mats, just about everything. With the way everyone looks around here, I imagine it gets used a lot.

Eric informed us we are permitted to use the gym whenever we have free time. He walked us pass the staff cabins and stressed to us that cadets are not allowed in them and we are not allow in the supply building. Eric seemed to look at me a lot while his expression didn't changes it seemed to me that he was waiting for my smart mouth comments. I used my better judgment and just kept quiet. He showed us the other three buildings and then released to go back to our dorms. As we were walking back I noticed he was headed back to the gym.

All the guys in our dorm are jokester's, although Mike is much quieter than the others, but he is always smiling at me. Tara still seems pretty withdrawn from the rest of us. She just sits on her bed most of the time with her short black hair hanging in her face and she fiddles with her shoe laces or finger or whatever she has near her. When I was washing my hands in the bathroom, I talked to the redheaded girl from the other dorm for a minute. She introduced herself as Leeann and she is very peppy. A little more than I really like. I noticed during dinner she was also very flirty wanting all the attention. She seems to be that typical cute me-me-me girl with her perfectly curvy body and big chest. I haven't really got to talk to any of the other people in her dorm.

Most of us are sitting around talking. I have changed into my pajama shorts, which I do in the bathroom, but decided to sleep in a sports bra and tank top instead of the cami that goes with the shorts. I figure in the morning I will be able to just throw on one of my tee shirts over it and not have to worry about changing in front of the guys. I think I will be ok changing into my pants in front of them as it doesn't show much, no more than a bathing suit. When the clock turns to 22:00, Eric comes in. "Lights out. Dorms are locked down from twenty-two hundred until zero-five hundred. Do not leave this building. If there are any problems during the night, you are to come into the instructors dorm and wake one of us." The lights go out and he walks out.

I get under my covers and I am glad it is summer because they are not very thick. My choice of clothing seems even better now. There is a dim glow that come from the bathroom door even though it seems those lights have dimmed significantly as well, but other than that it is dark and quiet. Much quieter than I am use to. In the city it is always noisy, even at night. What I wouldn't give for my ipod so I can fall asleep to Linkin Park blasting in my ears. Their music has always had a calming effect on me. After a little while everyone's breathing softened, but I can hear someone sniffling. I think it is coming from Tara but I am not sure. It has been a long day and I am exhausted. I turn over in my bed and go to sleep. Just as I am almost out, I note there is a small blinking red light coming from the corner of the room. I close my eyes one last time and fall asleep.

* * *

 **Another chapter in the books. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thank you so much for the follows, favorites and reviews. I am glad you like it so far. Until next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!**

 **Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6: Wake Up**

 _(Monday June 1st)_

I am startled awake by all of our alarm clocks going off at at what I think is the same time. If it was only one of them, it wouldn't be very loud but six of them at once is too loud to ignore. I turn over and try to turn it off and see it is only five in the morning. _What the hell? You have got to be kidding me!_ Fumbling around with the clock I find it is attached to the night stand and there are no buttons to turn it off. I sit up in frustration. After about a minute they all go off at the same time. Eric's stern voice comes through the speaker at the top. "This is your wake up call. You have five minutes to be out in front of the stage. Do not be late!" I roll my eyes and let out a sigh. _I am really starting to hate him._

I scramble out of bed and throw my pillow at Patrick's head who is still asleep. "Get up already." He wakes up with a groggy look on his face. "You have five minute now come on." I have no idea how he slept through that. I quickly change into my pants while the guys are still dragging themselves up and not looking at me. I throw a tee shirt over my tank top and pin my name tag on. Once my socks and shoes are on, I see the boys are still dragging their clothes on so I undo my braid, brush out my hair with my fingers and tie it back into a pony tail. I see Huck watching Tara as she strips down to her bra and panties and puts o a tee shirt and pants. She doesn't seem to have a problems with guys looking at her. Then again, it is like having a bikini on.

We all file outside to the stage where Zeke, Four and Paulo are standing. They immediately start moving us around. As Four goes to grab me I jump back and put my hands up. "Don't touch me, just show me where I am going." I keep my voice quiet but stern. His eyebrows pull together and he walks to a point on the grass and motions for me to stand there. Within a minute we are put into three lines of four, all equally spaced apart. I am standing at the end of the front row. The three instructors are lining up in front of the stage when Eric exits our dorm and goes and stands at the center of the stage.

"Well wasn't that pathetic. I said five minutes not eight, and I know you were told your beds were to be made when you get up. That will be an extra fifteen minutes this morning." We all just stand there confused. "You will be up every morning at zero-five hundred hours. You are expected to make your beds and be out here in five minutes and you have one minute to get into formation. You should be lined up exactly like this when I come out that door. Failure to comply with these rules will result in punishment. Today that means fifteen extra minutes of physical training. which means your normal thirty minutes before breakfast has been reduce to fifteen minutes." We all moan almost in unison.

"That will be another five minutes. I don't want to hear you damn complaining." His expression is less than amused and so is my irritation. "P.T. will be every morning until zero-six thirty and then you will have thirty minutes until breakfast. Well that is if you can manage to get your sorry asses out here on time. Now lets get started. You will copy my moves exactly." He starts stretching his arms and legs and we mimic him. The other instructors mirror him without looking back to watch. Occasionally they shout comments to someone not doing it right. After we stretch, Eric tells us we are going to follow him and run a mile on the dirt path. He jumps off the stage and starts running.

I fall in right beside him. I am fairly athletic and played soccer for several years. Although I don't exercise regularly, I am very active. Eric glances at me with a raised eyebrow and then continues running. Everyone else start running behind us. I hear the other instructors telling everyone to "move" and "hurry up". We run in silence other than the occasional shout coming from the instructors behind us and again I miss the music. Music would make this run almost enjoyable. By the end of the four laps I have fell a little behind Eric and am breathing hard. I see Eric is breathing normal like that mile was nothing to him. _Jeez, he is in really good shape._

We all lining back up as Eric gets back up on the stage and waits impatiently. When the stragglers are lined up again Eric continues to run us through exercises. Jumping jacks, up-downs, running in place, leg lifts...even being athletic I am dying. I want to give up but I don't want to give Eric the satisfaction; I am not weak and I will not let him break me. It hasn't gone unnoticed that he tends to look my way quite often and I am sure he is just waiting for me to give up. Not to mention, anytime someone starts slowing down or stops the other instructors get in their face and I really do not want that either. I need to avoid things that might get me in trouble.

"Alright it is zero-six fifty. You have ten minutes to get to breakfast. Dismissed." Eric says as he jumps off the stage and walks away. I drag myself into the dorm to brush my teeth. When I get back into our dorm, Mike is the only one there. Everyone else must have already went to breakfast. "You want to walk with to me to breakfast?" Mike ask.

I was sweating like crazy and really want to at least change into a clean shirt. "Sure, but can you turn around for just a second while I change my shirt." He blushes a little and turns around.

I grab a clean shirt and pull off my tank top and tee shirt together. Just as I throw them on my bed Eric walks in. It startles the shit out of me and I grab the clean shirt and hold it over me. His lips turns up a little as he starts setting a sheet of paper on each desk. "Don't let me stop you." He is so cocky.

Irritated I turn around and pull my shirt on real quick and grab my name tag off the other shirt and hurry to the door. "Lets go Mike." Mike turns around and shuffles over to me. His eyebrows are raised and I just shake my head and walk out the door. I glance back and see something like irritation on Eric's face as he continues what he was doing.

Breakfast is pretty basic, eggs, potatoes, bacon and fruit. I usually don't eat much in the morning so I just get a little fruit and a cup of coffee. Thank god for small favors. At least they don't deny us caffeine. The mess haul is pretty quite, everyone must be tired and exhausted like I am. As soon as everyone is sitting down Max stands up, "Instructional time begins every day at zero-eight thirty. Your schedules will be put on your desk every morning and you are responsible for being on time to each instructional class. Most of your days are planned out with specific activities and you are expected to behave during your free time or you will lose it. You will have thirty minutes before meals and one hours after each meal free unless you are on meal duty. Finish you breakfast and prepare for the day."

I finish my breakfast and Jeff, Mike and I walk back to our dorm. Patrick had to stick around for clean up. When we get inside I go to my desk, curious as to what my day holds. I pick up the sheet on my desk and read it:

 _ **Dani - Monday June 1st - Lead Instructor: Eric**_

 _05:00 Wake-up_

 _05:05 Morning P.T._

 _06:30 Free Time_

 _07:00 Breakfast_

 _07:30 Cleanup/Free Time_

 _08:30 Self Defense - Gym_

 _10:00 English - Classroom A_

 _11:30 Free Time_

 _12:00 Lunch_

 _12:30 Cleanup/Free Time_

 _13:30 Knife Throwing - Gym_

 _15:00 Math - Classroom A_

 _16:30 Free Time_

 _17:00 Dinner_

 _17:30 Cleanup/Free Time_

 _18:30 Evening P.T._

 _19:30 Free Time_

 _22:00 Lights Out_

 _Wow_. I am beyond shocked. First, they are actually going to teach us to throw knives. _That's Awesome!_ And second, English and Math...I didn't know we would have to do school work. _That sucks!_ "Dude we are going to learn to fight?" Jeff says as he walks up to me with his schedule. I look at his:

 _ **Jeff - Monday June 1st - Lead Instructor: Paulo**_

 _05:00 Wake-up_

 _05:05 Morning P.T._

 _06:30 Free Time_

 _07:00 Breakfast_

 _07:30 Cleanup/Free Time_

 _08:30 Self Defense - Gym_

 _10:00 English - Classroom A_

 _11:30 Free Time_

 _12:00 Lunch_

 _12:30 Cleanup/Free Time_

 _13:30 Math - Classroom A_

 _15:00 Knife Throwing - Gym_

 _16:30 Free Time_

 _17:00 Dinner_

 _17:30 Cleanup/Free Time_

 _18:30 Evening P.T._

 _19:30 Free Time_

 _22:00 Lights Out_

Jeff goes over to Patrick's desk and looks at his schedule. "Patrick's schedule is the same as mine. It must be organized by our instructor groups. "Mike can I see yours?" He walks over to me and hands it to me. "I think your right because mine and Mikes' are the same." I hand Mike his schedule back and he smiles at me. "Well hopefully they will switch it around so we can have different classes with each other." I say as I turn back to Jeff. Jeff and I sit down on our beds and Mike sits on the end of my bed and we talk about nothing. Patrick and Huck joins us a little while later and I am grateful when Patrick sits in between Mike and I. I swear he kept moving closer and closer to me. Huck sits down on the floor between the beds. I just smile at him and we keep talking.

We all head over to the gym together since we all have our first instruction period together. When we get into the Gym, Eric and Paulo are already standing by the mats. We go and stand in front of them. "Cadets. Each day you will be attending four instructional classes. You will have one educational and one physical class in the morning and one educational and one physical class in the afternoon. Educational classes include English, Math, Social Studies, Science, Nutritional Health and Technology. You will attend each class twice a week. Tris will go over these classes more when you see her for your next class." I have an urge to moan in complaint because of having to do school work but as I think of what happened this morning I decide to keep my mouth shut. I am all for pushing limits but I am too exhausted already and I do not want to have to do anything extra.

He pauses for a moment as he starts pacing in front of the mats. I almost think he wants someone to complain. "Your physical classes will include Self Defense, Knife Throwing, Archery and Hiking. Everyone will be taking the Self Defense daily and all the other classes twice a week. The physical instructional periods will be taught by your lead instructors. Each class will include six cadets that are based on the Lead Instructor's groups and will be rotated throughout the week so you will get to know all your fellow cadets."

My shoulders slump forward. _Man this seems like a lot of work._ It is like being in school and in the military at the same time. I never really hated school but I didn't particularly like it either.

Eric and Paulo step up on the mat. "In this class we will teach you how to defend yourself. You will learn a variety of styles that will teach you to protect yourself at all times. I know some of you are in here for assault. It is NOT my intention to teach you so that you can beat up people. It is my intention to teach you control, strength, and discipline. One aspect of learning self defense is mental. Learning not to panic, learning to channel your anger, learning to curb your fears, and learning to act without thought. All these techniques are not just helpful in self defense but also in life. Emotions are one of the biggest drivers in your everyday living. It will benefit you to learn to control them." As he stops talking, he looks at me. He must know why I am here.

"Gather around the mat." We all move closer. "I am going to show you some basic techniques and then you will pair off and practice them." They demonstrate some basic ways to get away from attackers both standing and being pinned on the ground. I try to watch carefully, but I have a hard time concentrating knowing I will have to practice these. I do not like people touching me. After showing several moves over and over they get to their feet. "Alright pair off."

Jeff is quick to come stand next to me. "Well what are you waiting for, get on the mats and start practicing. Start with the standing moves." Eric shouts even before everyone is paired off. Jeff and I go to the far mat. Jeff grabs my wrist and turns toward me. "Are you ok with this?" His voice is low so no one else can hear. "Yeah, I will be ok, lets just do it. I will attack first."

I go stand behind him and after a few seconds I smack his shoulder. He glances back and smiles at me and I just raise my eyebrow. He is to tall and there is no way for me to grab round his shoulder. He bends his knees until I can grab him around the shoulder and under the opposite arm. "Alright, try to get free." It takes Jeff about three seconds to grab my wrist, twist his hip to the side and flip me over his side. I land on my back and he quickly helps me up. "Nice, now my turn." I say in a rush. I don't like to look weak. Jeff looks at me. "You sure?"

I get a little more irritate. First he just flipped me and then he questions me. "I can handle it."

He stands behind me. I look up and see Eric is stand at the mat next to us but instead of watching the people on the mat in front of him, he is watching us. Jeff suddenly grabs me with the same hold I did to him but he leans back so I can spin out of it. I feel a tightening in my chest but I quickly push it down telling myself it is just Jeff. I quickly kick my feet in the air and then bring them back down just as quickly, while I throw all my weight forward and the momentum is enough to flip Jeff over my head to the mat. I see Eric's lip curl up just slightly and he turns to go stand at the other mat on the end. A hug grin spreads across my face. _I can do this!_ We each take another turn with the standing moves.

"Alright now practice the pin moves." Paulo bellows out in a deep voice.

Jeff lays down. "You can be the attacker first." His face is tight and I can tell he isn't comfortable with this." I sit down on top of him so that I am straddling his legs. "I know you are stronger, but you can pretend that this isn't too easy you know." I tell him still smiling.

His face is still strained but he tries to joke with me to lighten the mood. "What I can't pretend that I am completely enjoying the fact that I have a girl sitting on top of me." I punch him in the arm. "Don't be a dick," and he finally smiles. If it was anyone else that would have pissed me off but I know he is only joking. I reach down and grab his neck with both hands. "Go." I tell him and he does. He pulls both arms to one side of mine, and with the inside arm, he wraps around mine with his upper arm, pushes my shoulder with his other arm, and thrust his pelvis up as he pushes my other should with his free arm, then he pushes his whole side of his body to roll us over. When he is on top of me he jump to his feet with lightning speed. He executed that perfectly.

"Ok now my turn." I say as I lay down but stay propped up on my elbows. He kneels down next to me and looks around causing me to do the same. No one is watching us. "I know you hate me asking but are you sure about this. We can just keep practicing with you as the attacker." His voice is so low I can barely hear him. "Come on Jeff, I am going to have to do this so I might as well try with you ok. It is better it is with you, I think I will be able to handle it that way." I lay back and I can still see his hesitation. After pausing a moment longer he straddles my legs not allowing any of his weight to be on me. "If this is too much you tell me." His voice is full of concern. I can already feel the ache in my chest but I try to push it away.

I give him a nod but he doesn't move. I sternly put on my 'just fucking do it' face and he sighs deeply and then slowly starts to get into position. As soon as I see him starting to cooperate my irritation subsides but the tightness in my chest doesn't. I try to breath through it. All the sudden I feel his hands lightly around my neck and my breathing immediately gets shallow. Not because he is holding my neck tightly but because I feel like I have a ton of bricks on my chest. I close my eyes and try to push it away but it just getting worse. _I can do this, I can do this._ I try to tell myself but it isn't helping. _Breath, Breath...fuck, fuck, fuck...I can't do this, I can't breath._ I open my eyes my chest heaving trying to breath and I see spots in my vision and don't think I can hold on. Jeff quickly removes his hands and starts to get off me before I even speak a word. "Stop, stop, stop..." I trying to push him away even though he is almost off me already. I scramble out from under him and get up and stumble over to the wall turning away so no one can see me, I can feel tears trying to break through as I try to calm myself. _I am ok, I am ok, I am ok._ I repeat to myself with my hands on my knees.

I hear heavy boots walking toward me, "What the _fuck_ is going on?" Eric's tone is forceful but he is not yelling. "She just needs a minute, let her be." Jeff says in a rush. Eric's voice gets lower, "I was not talking to you cadet now get out of my fucking way." Jeff must have stepped in front of him. In less than a second he is standing next to me. "What happened?" he says loudly. It is a good thing he didn't make an attempt to touch me, because I don't think I could handle it right now. I turn around and look at him still trying to even out my breathing, "I just need a fucking minute." I can't read the expression on his face but I know my face must be showing extreme anger, and panic and I can barely keep the tears at bay. I lower my voices to a whisper, "Please." I think a flash of concern appears on his face but it disappeared so quickly I am not sure. "Step outside. You have five minutes to pull yourself together cadet." He steps out of my way and I quickly retreat toward the door.

I rush outside and take deep breaths as I sit down on the stairs, hanging my head between my legs. _Fuck!_ I am so mad at myself. I should be able to do this. It is an irrational fear from my past. I am not nine years old anymore. I am a damn grown woman. _Get your shit under control Dani!_ After a few minute I sit up straight, the tightness is gone and my breathing id back to normal. I take a few more deep breaths and stand up.

Jeff comes walking out the door and looks at me closely. "You OK?" His voice is guarded. "Yeah I am good." I smile at him. "If you need more time just say the word." I can tell he still doesn't think I am ok. "Please, I am ready to go back in there and kick your butt." I try to play it off as I punch him in the arm.

He takes a hard look at me again and then smiles. "Actually we have moved on to weight training. We are suppose to be working on our arms and shoulders so I think we should go in, those arms of your are looking a little skinny."

"Hey these skinny arms managed to throw you on your ass a few minutes ago." My lips turn up in a huge grin and he gives me an exaggerated shocked look.

I laugh out loud and start back to the gym door. As we walk in Eric steps in front of me. "Not right now, but you will explained to me what just happened. Is that clear?" His face is hard and his voice is low. "Yes Sir." I say and step around him to go workout. Out of the corner of my eye I see him shake his head and walk over to talk to Paulo and I am glad he is letting it go. For now at least.

* * *

The rest of the morning and afternoon went by fairly quickly. Tris explained our education program. It turns out that in addition to attending each of the six classes twice a week, we will also be assigned one home assignment per week for each subject. Failure to complete our homework would result in extra P.T time. When she showed us the scheduling I noticed she didn't teach anything on Sundays, so I asked what happens those days. She informed the class that besides P.T. and a one-on-one counseling session, our Sundays are free time. Although we were expected to use the time wisely. That was some good news after the shitty morning I had. But she quickly cut out those feelings when she informed us we would receive our homework for both classes today.

Lunch was uneventful and I completed meal my cleanup with Huck, Steven and Royce. I stayed quieter than normal during lunch still at myself that I freaked out earlier. I am stronger than that. I decided to put on my smile and pretend nothing had happened.

Knife throwing was kind of exciting. Zeke showed us how to stand and release the knives when throwing and techniques to getting it to hit the center of the target. Of course Eric had to put his two cents in and explained how this task was suppose to get us to focus and pay attention to detail. When we first started to practice I barely could even get it near the target. Zeke had come over and critiqued my stance and release and by the end of class, my knives were sticking but still not near the center. I definitely felt a sense of accomplishment. During the class I kept catching Eric looking at me and I don't know what bothered me more, the fact that he kept looking at me or that the expression on his face which looked like was was really deep in thought. Sort of like you would see when someone is trying to solve a puzzle.

Math class was easy. They were mostly working on pre-calculus which was all review to me. My mind kept drifting away as I looked out the window wondering how my family was back home. I had to admit I missed my brother and parents. By the end of class I had convinced myself that I needed to stop dwelling on it because my time here was just beginning and I made a commitment to myself to not think about them again while I was here.

Royce and Joseph sat with Patrick, Jeff and I for dinner. Royce is really quite a looker. He is mixed but instead of brown eyes like you normally see, he has beautiful soft green eyes that stand out with his darker skin. He spent most of dinner explaining how irritated he was getting with Leeann's flirting which is why he came over to join our group for dinner trying to get away from her. I laugh to myself more confident that my initial assumption about her was right.

When we finally made it to evening P.T., I was already exhausted. We stretched and ran a half a mile then Four ran us through the workout. We were all so worn out; the whole session the instructors had been yelling at us to 'get up', 'go fast', 'pay attention'. Even I was getting yelled at. Eric had gotten in my face several times and it was pissing me off, but I had nothing else left. I was spent. We ended up getting dismissed fifteen minutes late because we 'weren't putting any effort into it'. I dragged myself into the dorm, not bothering to change or even to remove my boots, I laid down fell asleep.

* * *

 **Thanks again for everyone reading this story. I really hope you like it. Comments and reviews welcome. Until next time!**

"


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry I didn't get this up yesturday but most of you probably know that it was down all day. I am really grateful to see you all are enjoying this story. I appreciate of the views, follows and reviews, so keep them coming. Here is the next chapter Enjoy.**

 **I decided to do a small chapter from Eric's POV. Just so you get a feel of what is going through his head and his mindset. Also for a little background. Hope you like it!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 7:**

 _(Monday June 1st)_

 **Eric POV**

Today has been an irritating day. Usually I am happy to be here since my work schedule doesn't allow much of a social life. The staff here works for four and a half months straight during bootcamp. We are required to do a week of preparation before the cadets arrive, the cadets are here for a four month camp, and then we have debriefing week once the camp is done. We get two months off in between camps which is when I go back to my sceanic apartment on the Puget Sound in Des Moines, but during my off time I tend to get board and restless.

All I have to do for eight weeks is work out and occassionally hang out with a friend, but I really only have a few good friends. Occassionally I fill in teaching the kickboxing or self defense classes at Amar's Gym while I am off just to have something to do, since I really don't need to do it for the money; I make pretty decent money here. Amar and I aren't exactly friends but he was a counselor here when I came as a cadet. I had so much anger then and he taught me to focus it, helped me turn my life around. His gym is only a few blocks from my apartment so he calls me when he has someone call off or if there is a request for an extra class. It is a good arrangment, I get a free gym membership and something to occupy my time and he gets someone on-call.

It is nice and quiet in our dorm right now which is how I like it. The other guys went to hang out with the girls and I volunteered to stay in the dorms since one of us is required to be in here during "free time". Besides hanging out with the staff isn't really really my thing. Occasionally Paulo will hang out in the gym and spare but I rarely hang out with the rest of them except when a few of us play in the cabins. Sometimes it is held here in our dorm so everyone can play and I play to avoid their noise from irritating the shit out me. Plus, I usually always walk away with more than I started with. Poker is really based alot on strategy making it an ideal game for me. I wasn't very good when I first started playing with them but then I read a bunch of books on it and now I rarely lose. Glancing at the clock I see it is only 21:30 but I am already done with my daily log so I decide to check on the cadets.

Picking up the tablet I start it up and pull up our security application. Will's shift is up at 22:00 and it becomes our duty to keep an eye on the cadets for the night, although with the tracking bracelets we would know the minute someone tried to leave the dorms. Once the app starts it shows me the map of entire property including the outlines of all the buildings and their inner walls. The dorms also show the outline of the beds. The large large furniture is attached to the floor so it cannot be moved.

I first check to make sure all three of the blue dots are accounted for. They represent my cadets. Each dot has the first letter of the cadets first name on it to identify who it is. I see all of Paulo's green dots, Zeke's red dots and Four's yellow dots. Most of them are in their own dorms but a few are in the bathroom. I guess they haven't had time to get to know each other much which is why they are all in their own dorms and why they are so quiet. I am sure they are all tired after today's events. The first week is usually the most exhausting. My eyes focus on the blue dot with the "D" on it. It looks like she is on her bed.

She is the source of much of my irritation today. Yesterday she came off as such a smart ass, testing my patience. Every camp there is always at least one with that mouth on them and like to push us instructors. Usually it is a guy but this time it is her. She thought she could get the best of me yesterday when she opened her smart mouth in the bathroom but I turned out to be victorious. I click on the A dorm security camera and a high definition picture of the dorm pops up. After exchange between Dani and I, I made sure to say something about it to Tori knowing she would be going in there. I watch the camera as she ask Dani if she needed anything and I saw Dani blush. I definitely turned that one around on her. I smile a little at that thought. She will not get the best of me.

I have learned to control my emotions, something she really needs to learn, and I am sure I will be able to teach her. It is a continual struggle for me sometimes but I manage it pretty well these days. Although I swear Four tries to see how much I can handle. Ever since I kissed Tris before they were together he has made it his mission to make my life hell. It is not like I liked her anyway; it was just something to bide my time. She is cute and all but I don't think we would have worked out. It never does. Women don't typically respond well to my attitude. I do not show weakness and most women want hearts and flowers but that is just not my style. At least this time I am lead instructor and set the schedule allowing me to be away from Four as much as possible.

As I stare at the screen and click the sound icon to turn the volume on. Dani is passed out on her bed. I am still confused about what happened during our self defense class today. I was watching the cadets in front of me and when I glance over and to her and Jeff. He has a worried-upset look on his face and Dani looks like she just saw a ghost as she stumbled to the side of the room. When I went to check on what happened thinking maybe the boy did something to her but I was first shocked that the dumb ass boy had the nerve to try to stop me. That confused me more because if he had done something it wouldn't be logical for him to be so protective of her. I was even more shocked when she had the nerve to yell at me.

Normally I would not take shit like that from cadets but when I saw her face. The panic and the fear, I paused instead of doing what I normally would have done which would have been to make them run or do some other physically exhausting task for their insubordination. But then she whispered, pleading with me with just one word, "Please", it completely disarmed me. That has never happened to me before. I let her go outside which is something I don't ever do but she had managed to break my composure and the feelings that went through me were confusing. I was angry that she yelled at me, but then I was worried by the look on her face, I felt an overwhelming need to protect her. I needed her away from me so I could compose myself. My feelings were completely unacceptable.

When I walked back over to Paulo he had given me a confused look but I told him the situation was handled. He just raised an eyebrow and went back to watching the cadets. I was mad at myself for losing my composure and even more mad that another instructor saw it. I knew I had to show her, and everyone else, that it was a one time thing. I was much harder on her for evening P.T. I could tell she was completely exhausted but I kept pushing her harder. I have to admire the fight in her. I know of a few other cadets that probably would have just dropped and refused to finish. It reminds me a lot of myself.

I read her file again when I got back to the dorm. She's in for assaulting some guy that was almost twice her size, which initially I thought was a little funny. She definiately has guts. I did my time for assault so I really can't look down on her for that. She is actually a good student. Her transcript from her school showed she has a 3.8 GPA even taking advance placement classes, so she is smart too, a quality I admire in people. All her previous arrest were all assault as well, so apparently she just has a problem with anger. But that still doesn't explain what happened today and I am still not sure why I really care, but I do.

I glance at the clock and it is only ten minutes until lights out. I have been sitting here lost in thought for twenty minutes. _Crap._ I am about to set down my tablet when I see Jeff walk up to Dani's bed and shake her shoulder.

I hear their voices through the tablet. "Shit, she is passed out cold. I don't think she is going to wake up." He says to the kid on the other side of her bed (I think his name is Patrick). I notice those three hang out a lot. They seem pretty close already, especially the way Jeff got so defensive when she freaked out today. Cadets rarely know each other prior to being here but it isn't unheard of and I am thinking they did. Troubled kids tend to hand out with troubled kids. "Ok, lets do it." Patrick says after pausing for a second.

I feel panic immediately and jump off my bed but then pause for a moment to see what is going to happen. _Shit! What are they doing._ I see them starting to removing her shoes. _Shit!_

I throw the tablet on the bed and hurry into their dorm trying to keep my composure. They will not take advantage of her while she is asleep. As I walk into the dorm I see them pulling the blanket out from under her. I stop and Patrick looks up at me. Jeff's back is to me and does not see me. He pulls the blanket up over her up to her neck and then moves her hair out of her face before turning around and looking at me as well. He seems startled to see me standing there. I see that their intentions were completely innocent. I look at my clock and look up tell them "Lights out in 5 minutes." I turn and walk out.

Ok, I really need to get a hold of myself, my anger is exploding and there is no reason for it. I go back to my dorm to get ready for bed. I switch the camera view to a split screen so I can see both dorms and the bathroom and I set it on its stand on my night table. I take off my pants and shirt and put on a tank top. As I am laying down in my bed the lights go off. I glance over at the tablet, the camera's have switched to night vision, and I see everyone getting in bed. I look at Dani one more time. She has curled up into a ball under her covers. A few minutes later, the other guys come in the dorm breaking me out of my trance. I turn and lay on my back and stare at the ceiling. _What the hell is it about this girl._..

* * *

"Stop." I am startled awake by someone talking. I sit up and look around. The guys are all asleep. They are much heavier sleepers than I am. "Please," the voice sounds scared. I look over to the tablet thinking I have a dumb ass guy pulling some shit, but no one in either room is moving. I switch the screen to the map and all dots are all on their beds. I go back to cameras and I still see nothing abnormal.

I decide to go look at the dorms. I walk through the bathroom to the B dorm and I walk down to the furthest bed checking each as I go. Everyone is accounted for. I go back through the bathroom to A dorm and start checking beds. As I get to the last bed I hear it again, "Stop" and I freeze. That was Dani's voice. I walk over to her bed expecting to ask her what is wrong, but her eyes are closed. She moves around a little almost like she is restless. She must be having a dream. I just stand and stare at her. _Ok, I am not a damn stocker._

I am about to walk away when she starts whimpering. It must be a really bad dream. I reach out and put my hand on her shoulder with the intention of waking her, but as soon as my hand touches her she stills and becomes quiet. I am shocked that she has seemed to calmed just by my touch. Without thinking I rub her shoulder for just a moment and then stand back up. She turns on her side and her breathing evens out. I think her nightmare has past. I stand there for a moment longer to be sure and then I walk back to my bed.

I am really confused about what just happened. Yes, she is pretty and I admire several qualities in her but she also irritates the shit out of me and I do not like to be challanged. This needs to quit, I am becoming soft, this is not me. It is 02:00, I need get some damn sleep. I glace once more at the tablet and everything is still. I need to stop letting my emotions control me. I know better of than this, I learned to control my emotions years ago and I am not about to let some girl get into my head.

* * *

 **Well there it is. Let me know if you like it and if so I may do a few more from his POV. Reviews and comments welcome. Until next time!**

 **(Music credit: Through the Glass - Stone Sour)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow. Thank you to everyone who is reading this story. Now that the traffic stats are working again I can see so many people are actually reading it. Thank you again to everyone who has favorited and reviewed. It really is awesome that people like it. This chapter is a little longer to make up for the short previous chapter.**

 ***Just a side note that I am going to start adding dates. I think it will get to repetitive to do every single day although I have so much more I want to happen still. I want to keep this believable so there will be some breaks in days. Thanks again everyone and enjoy the chapter.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 8:**

 _(Tuesday June 2nd)_

I wake up breathing hard. I don't usually have nightmares anymore but the events of yesterday must have rattled me more than I thought. I feel completely exhausted. Looking at the clock it is only four in the morning. I got plenty of sleep but I feel like I haven't gotten any. I am still in my clothes from yesterday but my shoes are off and I somehow ended up under the blanket. I have a pretty good idea who did that. I really wish they would have woke me up, I really needed a shower after yesterday. Well, now is as good time as any. At least I can take a nice long hot shower and no one will bother me.

I get up and grab a fresh set of clothes. Yesterday it was chilly outside for P.T. but the workout is grueling and by the end I was hot and sweaty. I think I will wear a tank top today and then change into a shirt after our workout. Hopefully I can take a quick shower after P.T too. Everyone needs to get their shit together because I do not want to do extra time today. I am still sore from yesterday. Today is going to be hell trying to keep up with the way I feel already. I head into the bathroom to take a shower. The lights are on but they are dimmed down.

I turn the shower on as hot as I can stand it and get in. The hot water feels so good on my sore, tight muscles. I just let the hot water pound on my muscles as my body relaxes more and more. I close my eyes and clear my mind. After a while I decide I need to finish my shower so I wash up and wash my hair. I am so relaxed I start to sing hearing the music in my head. Normally I don't do it in front of people but everyone is asleep so I don't care.

 _I'm looking at you through the glass_

 _Don't know how much time has passed_

 _Oh God, it feels like forever_

 _But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_

 _Sitting all alone inside your head_

 _'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_

 _Don't know how much time has passed_

 _All I know is that it feels like forever_

 _When no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_

 _Sitting all alone inside your head_

 _How do you feel? That is the question_

 _But I forget, you don't expect an easy answer_

 _When something like a soul becomes initialized_

 _And folded up like paper dolls and little notes_

 _You can't expect a bit of hope_

 _And while you're outside looking in_

 _Describing what you see_

 _Remember what you're staring at is me..._

I finish dressing and open the curtain; I stop singing and freeze. Eric is standing at one of the sinks in his boxers and a tank top, shaving, looking at me in the mirror in front of him. I am sure my face turns a bright shade of red, not just because he caught me singing but also seeing him standing there in his boxers and damn does he have a hot body. He raises an eyebrow as I just stare. "See something you like?" he smirks as if he is trying not to laugh. "Your up early and so full of energy...don't stop singing on my account," his voice is heavy with sarcasm. My mood goes from being embarrassed to irritated. I go over to were he is standing and stare at him giving him a pissed off look. "You got something to say cadet," his voice suddenly very serious as he stands up straight, turning to me and looks into my eyes. This is not how I wanted to start my day. I toss my wet towel in the basket next to his feet, turn back to the dresser and get my brush before walking back to my dorm.

I put my dirty clothes away, make my bed and sit down on it to brush my hair. Wow, he sure knows how dampen my mood. How did I not hear him come in and why is it seem like it is Eric's mission to irritate the shit out of me. I guess it is partially my fault mouthing off like I did, but I couldn't help it. That is just me.

I finish braiding my hair back so that it stays out of my way during P.T. and I put my brush in my desk. I think about going to brush my teeth but I don't want to see Eric again right now. So I grab my shoes and sit to put them on. Just as I sit, all the alarm clocks off. I hadn't realize my shower took so long. They go off after a minute and Eric's voices tells us we have five minutes. I stand and go shake Patrick awake. He is really going to have to start waking up on his own. Everyone else is getting out of bed to dress.

"Everyone make you damn beds. I do not want extra P.T. today." I say loud enough for everyone to hear me. Jeff looks at me a little confused. I am sure it is because I am already dressed and my bed is made. Patrick is dragging still so I go over and quickly make his bed for him. "Come on dude, I am serious. I am already sore as hell." He picks up the pace slightly.

We manage to get out of the dorm by five after five but barely. We quickly go and line up. Four is on the stage and the other instructors in front of the stage. Eric his holding a tablet and Will is standing next him. The other dorm comes out right behind us and lines up as well. Eric looks up at Four and shakes his head and shouts. "B dorm you failed to make your beds again, your dorm will have an extra fifteen minutes out here this morning." _How the hell does he know that?_

Will walks up to me and grabs my wrists and I automatically jerk it away. Will just give me a curious look as Eric continues his eyebrows pulled together in irrigation, "Will is checking your trackers. This will be done every other morning to make sure they don't get too loose or too tight. With all the physical activity, you bodies will change." Satisfied with the explanation I give my wrist to Will, it takes him about a second to check it. He is done checking them all in less than a minute and the second he is done Eric looks at Four, "Alright Four lets get this day started."

Four stands a little taller. "Cadets lets get stretched, arms to the sky," and he begins taking us through the stretches. As he tells us to do four laps, I turn and start running before he can get in front of me. Being in the front helps me clear my mind and I can almost believe no one else is here. I only get a few steps when Eric runs up beside me but I ignore him and push on.

"What no singing?" Eric says as we complete our first lap. His lip is slightly turned up. "Glad I amuse you." I say rolling my eyes, clearly annoyed at his comment but before he can say anything else I fall back a little and let him take the lead. Why do I feel like he is goading me to get a rise out of me.

When we finish our run, we line back up and Four continues with our work out. Eric, Zeke and Paulo are relentless walking between us shouting at those not doing it properly. They are even more forceful this morning. Eric stops at me several times critiquing my positioning, 'get your legs up higher, your not getting up fast enough...' His face is a stone wall and it is irritating but he seems to be doing it to everyone so maybe he just likes being a dick to us. He seems to be enjoying pushing us all as hard as possible. I just try to focus on my workout.

"Alright cadets in A dorm you are dismissed. B dorm we will continue." Four says at six thirty. My bunk mates and I start falling out to go back to the dorm. "Not you cadet." I turn around and see Eric in Jeff's face. _Shit._

"Where is your name tag cadet," He yells in Jeff's face.

"I left it on my desk." Jeff says frustrated. "All cadets are to wear their name tags any time you exit the dorms. Maybe 2 laps will help you remember it next time. "

Shit, really! It is not that big of a deal. Eric's head snaps my way and he stalks over getting in my face. He is way to close for comfort I fight the urge to step back. "What was that cadet?"

 _Dammit, did I say that out loud._ "It is just a name tag, it is not like you use our names anyway." I say my anger rising inside of me making me bolder. "Well Danielle, since you can't follow the rule of keeping your mouth shut, you can join him." He tells me in a low cold voice, drawing out my name when he speaks it.

 _Shit!_ I look at the others and see that everyone has stopped to watch our little exchange. Four is looking at me like he with an apologetic face. _I do not need damn pity._ "Fine, Jeff lets go," I say and turn to start running without waiting for him. Eric really is a fucking jerk. I know he said my full name just to piss me off more. I push myself into a fast run although I am already tired but it helps my anger subside.

We finish our two laps and then head into the dorm. I was a little surprised that Jeff ran at my pace. Then again his legs are longer making it a bit easier. "Dani you really need to learn to keep your mouth shut." Jeff says as we reach the door. I stop and look at him with a raised eyebrows, "and you need to learn to remember your name tag." I say to him with a hint of amusement, I know he just didn't like that I got in trouble because of him. His lips turn up and we go to get ready for breakfast.

I grab my tee shirt. I don't have time to take a quick shower now. Everyone is still in the dorm but I don't want to go stand in the shower to change.

This is stupid. I have a sports bra on, it is no different than having a bikini on, although I usually don't wear those either. Making sure no one is paying attention I turn toward the wall and quickly change out of my tank top into my shirt. I look over at Patrick and he raises his eyebrow at me. "Oh shut up." I snap at him and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

We go to breakfast and I am starving. All the physical activity from yesterday and this morning must have drained me. I decided I need more protein if I am going to be able to keep up so I grab some eggs and potatoes this morning along with some much needed coffee and then I go and sit down at what is becoming my normal spot in the middle of the table at the end of our group. I see the instructors walk in and go over to get their food.

I am talking to Jeff when Eric comes and sits right next to me. _What is his problem now?_ Normally he sits a few seats down for me. I am frozen in place for a minute, my fork half way to my mouth. I am hyper-aware of the closeness of his body and my heart starts beating faster even though he isn't actually touching me. _Can't this fucker just leave me alone._ When I am fairly certain he isn't going to touch me I resume eating and talking to Jeff.

After breakfast I check my schedule. My first class for the day is Social Studies and then I have Self Defense. In the afternoon I have Archery and then Science. Archery sound fun. I have never touched a bow and arrow before but it is something I think would be cool to learn. I do not have any classes today with Jeff and Patrick which I am not very happy about and I am nervous to go to Self Defense without them. _I can do this, I have to do this._ I tell myself.

In Social Studies I learn that we will be starting by studying politics. That is an interesting choice but I guess I see the reasoning in it. So far everything we are learning in class seems to be normal high school work. We finish up class and get our homework that is due next week. I haven't even started what we got yesterday since I passed out as soon as I got back last night. I head over to the gym next door. Instead of Eric and Zeke on the mat they are over by the punching bags. So I go stand over by them. Royce comes and stands next to me. "Hey what's up?" He says to me with a grin. "Hey, how have you been doing?" I try to make light conversation but we are interrupted by Eric. _Does this man love to hear himself talk or what._

"Cadets. Today you will be learning the proper ways to punch and kick. Watch Zeke closely as he demonstrates and then you will practice on these punching bags." I am relieved to hear we don't have to practice with each other and I relax a bit. I hadn't realize I was so tense. Zeke steps up and starts showing us proper form. I pay close attention to his moves trying not to look at Eric.

Zeke finishes and has us line up at a punching bag, giving each of us a pair of gloves. "I want you to start to practicing punching the bags," he says. Eric goes behind us presumably to watch. I put my gloves on and begin practicing. The bag is really hard and it doesn't move much when I hit it. I try to hit it harder but it still doesn't move much. These things have to weight a ton but it moved so much more when Zeke was showing us. I look next to me as I continue to practice to Royce who has positioned himself next to me. His bag moves a lot more when he punches it but not as much as when Zeke did it. Suddenly feel someone come stand behind me and I stop. The person is so close I can feel their body heat and their breath on my neck, but whoever it is they are not touching me. That doesn't stop my chest from starting to get tight. "I suggest you fucking back up now." I say very quietly without looking to see who it is.

"Careful now Danielle. Reel in your anger, it will do you no good when it counts. You need to stay calm and collected." Eric's voice is low and cool, full of some emotion I can't place, and the tightening in my chest subsides but my heart is still racing. "You need to learn to control your emotions." He lets what he said sink in for a moment. When he start talking again his voice is different like he is back in boss mode. "Your stance is wrong; spread your feet out a little." I don't move, how does he change so quickly like that. He kicks my foot lightly causing me to react and I move them a little further apart. "More...and bend your knees." His voice is even but he is breathing harder causing me to do the same. "Now punch and make sure you are going straight out, don't arch your swing, and make sure to breath out as you strike," He sill hasn't moved. "Punch," he says a little louder and I do. He pauses and then takes a step back. "Good now continue." I look back to him but he has already walked over to another person but I notice he isn't close to him like he was just did him. I try to stead my breath and keep practicing, keeping in mind what he told me and the bag is moving more than it was before. I am not quite sure what the hell that was but fuck it was intense.

Thankfully Eric doesn't get close to me again for the rest of class although he does stop and watch me several times.

After lunch I hang out with Steven until our archery class. He sat with us at lunch today and after I told him I had a brother named Steven we just kept talking. He reminds me a lot of my brother except that he is native American; he is really sweet. It occurs to me that I have been making several friends here quickly. I thought in the back of head wonders why that is. We sit on the grass outside the dorm because it is such a beautiful day while we waited for our next class.

He tells me that he is Blackfoot Indian which really interest me since I have Blackfoot in me as well, along with Cree. He use to live in Montana on the reservation but was sent to live with his elderly aunt in Chicago. Like me he is also in for assault. Apparently he was drinking and got into a fight with some guy at a local hang out. The guy spent a week in the hospital. The judge wasn't impressed that he was drunk when he was arrested either. I drink but not often; it just isn't my thing. I hate getting hangovers. We continue talking as we walk to class heading around the side of the gym where it says class is. When we round the corner I see a wall of Hay it has several round wood targets in front of it. Steven and I and stand against the wall but don't talking. It is nice that I have some friends here. I am actually smiling and not caring so much that I am in this place.

Eric and Four walk over right as the class is scheduled to begin and we all quiet down. Eric goes and stands at the end of the wall leaning against it with his arms crossed. Four steps at the front of the group who is loosely scatter in front of us. "Alright cadets quiet," he says and everyone stops talking. "In this class we will teach you to be good archers. Archery is good for learning control, precision and patience." He picks up a bow off the ground. "In this class it doesn't matter how strong you are." I glance at Eric seeing him roll his eyes. Apparently he may have a different opinion but to my surprise he stays quiet as Four continues. "It only matters how good you are at remembering how to stand, breath and release. It takes a lot of control and precision to do this. The patience will come into play when we start using moving targets."

Four moves in front of the target and starts explaining the type of bows and arrows there are and what we are going to be using. He also shows us how to put on a bracer to keep the string from hitting our arm. Then he procedures to show us the correct open stance form that we should use. There are several lines on the grass spaced out in front of the targets. Four is standing at the one furthest from the target. He pulls back is arrow breaths in, pauses and releases. He hits the target dead center and his lips turn up in a smile. _Wow_ , he's good.

He turns to us and tells us to all stand in front of the targets and practice. The bow, arrows and bracers are all sitting at the closes line to the targets so I assume that is where we are suppose to stand. I go in front of the first target that is closest to the building and pick up the equipment. I put my bracer on and positioning myself just like Four had. I spend a second to make sure I have myself and then I draw, take a deep breath and I release. My arrow hits the edge of the target. Steven who is next me me smiles. "Nice shot, your a natural." My grin at myself. I hear Eric let out a grunt and he walks past me to the other end of the line of cadets starting to critique their stance. I take two more shots. The first one misses but the second one hits the outside ring of the target just slightly inside my first shot.

Four steps to the side of me so he is facing me. "Your off just a little." He reaches up toward me and I lower my bow and step back. "I am just trying to help." He says in a soft comforting voice. _I really have to stop flinching every time someone touches me._ I get back in my stance. "Drop your shoulders a bit." I do as he tells me. He then slowly reaches out and barely touching me, he raises my elbow and then moves my hand closer to my mouth. "Now breath in, hold your breath, center yourself and release." I do as he says and my arrow hits the ring just outside of the center. "Nice job." He tells me and I grin from ear to ear. "Thanks." He turns and goes to over to Huck and I see Eric staring at me. He stand back behind all the cadets. He looks mad although I am not sure what I could have possibly done to piss him off this time.

As our eyes connect he speaks up. "Well looks like you got it all figured out cadet. Since you are so good, why don't you move back to the last line." Four turns toward Eric looking irritated . "They just started, give them a chance to practice."

"Quite Four. Don't forget I out rank you." He says in a level voice. Four looks at me, his lips pressed in a line and nods for me to go so I grab the bag of arrows and move to the back line. I get into position trying to get in the same stance Four just showed me. I breath in and release but the arrow goes under the target. I look at Eric and he has a slight smile on his face.

"What Four here failed to explain is the further away you get the more you need to take into account other factors such as wind and the natural arch an arrow will take the further away you are." Eric shouts to everyone but still looking at me. I notice Four shaking his head. "Keep practicing and Danielle, you can stay there since you seemed to already have mastered shooting up close." He turns and goes to stand back at the wall not giving any further instructions. _What the hell did I do? I wasn't even mouthing off this time._ I keep practicing but I don't hit the target and by the end of classes I still can't quite hit the target although they are close. I am irritated that four doesn't come back over to show me what I am doing wrong. I am even more irritated and mad at Eric. He has managed to ruin my mood yet again.

* * *

I go back in the dorm after finishing evening P.T. I managed not to get in anymore trouble this afternoon. Eric pushed me hard again during P.T. but I was able to keep my mouth shut this time. I grab a tank top and shorts and go take a quick shower. I am really tired but I really need a shower and I really should start on my homework it is piling up on my desk.

When I get back into the dorm only Mike and Tara are in there. I go to put my stuff in my dirty laundry and as I am standing back up somebody behind me tries to tickle my sides. My chest starts to tightening and without thinking I turn around and punch.

"Fuck, what the hell!" Mike says grabbing his cheek. "Never touch me without my permission you got it!" I shout at him my chest heaving as I try to breath. "I was just playing around Dani, you didn't have to fucking hit me."

I turn at Patrick's voice and Patrick walking in. "What happened?" He says looking from me to Mike like he is going to be the next one to hit Mike. "Nothing, I was just playing around with her and she fucking punched me." Patrick tries not to smile but fails miserably.

"Its alright P. He tried to tickle me and it took me by surprise." The tightening in my chest has subsided. Patrick doesn't try to hide the smile anymore, and looks at Mike. "Dude my best advice is not to touch her unless she says its ok to do so."

"Yeah, good to know." He says still holding his cheek and a sliver of regret hits me. He really was just playing around, I shouldn't have hit him. "Sorry Mike. I just don't like to be touched. We good?" He looks at me for a minute and then sighs, "Yeah, were good." I turn toward Patrick and Eric is standing behind him with a tablet in his hand. He looks from me to Mike and back to me again. It doesn't surprise me that he seems to assume I am involved or maybe he heard the end of our conversation.

"Does someone want to tell me what just happened here." I am totally confused by the look on his face and his tone. It is like he is mad but amused at the same time. None of us say anything and Eric is still looking at me. "I want an answer or you all will be running laps, someone speak up now!" I was about to say something but Mike speaks up. "It was just a miss understanding."

"Is that so." Eric says totally unconvinced. Mike shakes his head and so do I. Eric looks at Mike and I and rolls his eyes. "You two outside now." Great more laps. I slip my boots on but don't tie them because Eric is already walking outside with Mike. When we get outside, Eric turns around and faces us. He looks over to Mike. "You, go to the infirmary and get some ice for that." Mike doesn't say anything and walks off.

Once Mike is out of hearing distance Eric steps closer to me so that there is barely a foot separating us and looks at me. "Now do you want to tell me what really just happened." His face is stern, but his voice is not loud. "Like he said, it was just a misunderstanding." I try to keep my voice steady, again his invasion of my personal space causes me to hesitate and it comes out as a stutter. As a wayward thought I am surprise that the tightening in my chest is absent. "Do not lie to me Danielle. I do not like to be lied to." His stares directly into my eyes and I have to try hard to concentrate, _he has beautiful eyes_. "I do not like to be touched, he touched me, I touched him back. Like I said misunderstanding." I say in a lost voice. _Why did I just admit that to him? I don't think anyone in there would have ratted me out._

Disappointment crosses his face. "We do not condone violence here. Next time it will result in discipline do you understand?" I look at him confused and just shake my head yes. _He is letting me off?_ " He leans in closer to me and speaks just above a whisper. "You need to learn to control your emotions. Understand?" I nod but my face betrays me. _I have been trying to control them for years._ He stares at me contemplating something and then he leans even closer and whispers next to my ear. "If I can do it, so can you." He stays there for a fraction of a second and the walks around me and goes back into the dorm. _What the FUCK!_ I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. This man is so confusing. And he thinks he knows me. He has no idea what I have been through. I am so confused. And why the hell does my body have to react to him like that. I hate to be confused!

I go back into the dorm and everyone is staring at me with an expecting look on their faces. "What?" I pause but they just look at me. I smile a little trying to play it off. "Violence is not condoned so I would suggest not doing it." I say putting my fingers in the air to make quotes. Patrick and Jeff laugh at me. Mike walks back in with a disposable ice pack on his cheek and we look at him. "Word of advice fellas, she don't like to be touched." He says as he walks to his bed.

Jeff laughs, "Oh we already know." I am glad that will be the end of my questioning.

"What do you mean, you and Patrick touch her all the time." He almost looks looks like he is pouting. "Well we have known her for a long time and we know how to touch her." Jeff says with a huge grin on his face and wiggles his eyebrows.

My boots are still untied and I kick one at him and it hits him in the leg. "Shut up ass, it is not how it is who." I say smiling.

"Ouch. I was kidding." We are both laughing. "So you guys knew each other before you came here Huck ask." Patrick smiles, "Yeah, D and us go back to elementary school."

"Really?" Mike says interested. He must be feeling better. Hopefully there really is no hard feelings. "Yes and before it even starts do not call me "D", only this idiot over here calls me that dispite my urging to stop." I say as I push past Patrick to my desk with a smile. "Now if you don't mind I have a ton of Homework I need to get to. I sit down at my desk and pull out my Math. I figure it will be the easiest since it is all review for me. It would be better if we could listen to music, it helps me concentrate.

By 21:55 I have finally finished. It took longer than expected with all the background chatter in the room and the occasional person trying to talk to me. I am going to have to find some time to go sit in the courtyard where it is quite. Paulo comes into the room and tells us we have five minutes until lights out so I put my stuff away and get into bed as the lights go out. "Good night guys." I say to Patrick and Jeff, but everyone answers back with "good night" to my surprise. I close my eyes and fall quickly asleep.

* * *

 **Thanks again for reading. Keep those reviews and comments coming they are always appreciated. It lets me know what you like or don't like. Until next time.**

 **(Music Credit: Through the Glass - StoneSour)**


	9. Chapter 9

**This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!**

 **Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.**

* * *

 **Chapter 9:**

 _(Thursday June 4th)_

Yesterday was uneventful. I was able to make it through my day without hitting anyone and without mouthing off to Eric. Although it wasn't like I had much of a chance. If I didn't know any better I would think he was avoiding me. Other than the few times he barked orders at me, he didn't talk to me. He didn't even look at me. In self defense class, we worked on more punching and kicking along with some weight training.

My Nutritional Health and Technology classes's we only reviewed what we are going to be covering for the last few weeks. Funny enough in out health class we are going to be learning the effects of foods when exercising. And of course we got more homework including having to log our food intake for five days. Being we are fed 3 times a day and have to eat what is made, I don't see that as being very hard.

In the afternoon, I had hiking with Zeke's group. Eric led us all up to what they call the power lines and he warned us that we should not get more than 30 yards from him or our tracking bracelets would activate. When Joseph had asked him what would happen if we did, he just got a dark look in his face and told him 'try it and find out'. My curiosity certainly peaked and I was starting to wonder what happen, but no one decided to test the limit. We followed a trail that started back behind the dorms for about thirty minutes until we came to a "T" where it connected to another large open trail. Running parallel to the large trail was huge power lines. We only got a five minute rest and then hiked back down the trail.

It actually was a really nice walk other than it was all up hill and killed my legs. Royce walked with me and we talked the whole way. He had asked me about what happened the night before in the dorm. I guess news spread quickly when there are only twelve people. I confirmed that yes, I had hit Mike, who happen to be right in front of us. He had a small bruise on his cheek where I had hit him. When Royce laughed, Mike looked back and sneered at him. Royce told me that he found out that Uriah our maintenance guy is Zeke's brother although I wasn't very surprised since they look a lot a like. He also told me about the others in his dorm. Leeann had finally gotten the hint that he didn't like her, so she had moved on to harassing Joseph who enjoyed the attention. He said that Terrie and John were both really quiet, so he hadn't talked to them as much. I would look up at Eric often but his eyes were always focused in front of us.

When I got back to the dorm last night, I took my homework out to the grass in front of the dorm. I manage to get my English assignment done in an hour. It was a lot easier to get it done without people bothering me. One of the girls from B Dorm, Terrie, had been out there too but I figured she wanted quiet too so I sat apart from her. When I was finished I just laid back for a while as the sun began to set and watched the stars start to appear in the sky. Being out in the middle of nowhere does have its benefits.

Today was even warmer than it had been. As we do morning P.T., I notice it is just a little easier, but my body is feeling worn down from so many consecutive days of exercise. My mind is tired too. Trying to keep up with all of the school work and learning all the new physical stuff is just taxing. We get dismissed from P. T and I go in to take a quick shower, change and brush my teeth. I remember it is also laundry day so I put my laundry on the hook. I am brushing my teeth when John comes over next to me to wash his hands.

"So are you the girl that the instructors have been talking about?" I look at him confused and spit out the toothpaste from my mouth. "What do you mean?" I ask. "I heard Eric and Paulo talking last night in the gym after P.T. They came in to lift weights and I was already there taking my frustrations out on a punching bag." He dries his hands and turns toward me. "Eric told Paulo that his girl had given one of the guys a nice bruise on his face because he invaded her personal space." John raises an eyebrow and smiles at me. "I am assuming it was you, the other girl doesn't look like she would hurt a fly." I was speechless. That also explains how the other dorm found out about it. "And so you took it upon yourself to tell everyone in the dorm what you heard," Irritation laces my voice. "Well hey, we have to gossip about something here since there isn't nothing else to do." He shrugs his shoulders.

"So what else did they say?" I try to play it cool but my irritation is still breaking through. He pauses for a moment. "Eric said she was strong, most of the time, but she also had a big mouth and he would break her down" _What. A. Fucking. Asshole._ If he wasn't a fucking ass to everyone then my mouth wouldn't be a problem and, _most of the time,_ what the hell is that suppose to mean. Mr. all confusing thinks he is any better. He has more mood swings than a damn pregnant woman and he has the nerve to talk about me. And he really thinks he can break me down; we will see about that.

"So am I right?" I am brought back to our conversation. "Huh?" I look at him confused. "Are you the girl?" He ask although with the look on his face I am pretty sure he already knows.

I rinse out my mouth and turn to him. "Yes I am." I say with confidence. He gives me a big smile, winks at me and turns to go back to his dorm. "Good for you." He says to me over his shoulder. _Ok, that was a little weird._ I put my tooth brush and tooth paste away and go to get the boys and go to breakfast.

Tara has taken to hanging out with Leeann and Terrie. I have always preferred boys to girls so I am happy to hang out with the guys in my dorm and occasionally the other dorm. We get to breakfast but with my mood I am not in the mood for food so I just grab an apple and some coffee before I sit down. My mind is still reeling from what John said and my irritation toward Eric just keeps building. When the instructors come and sit down, Eric sits next to me again. I can already tell this is going to go badly. I take a bit of my apple.

"Is that all you are going to eat for breakfast?" He says not look at me. I notice he has a huge plate of eggs and my stomach just churns. I am already not happy with him but I don't want a scene today. "Yes Sir," I answer him trying to hide my irritation. "You need to eat more than that." He says more demanding.

"Well I am not hungry." I say a little more forceful as my composure begins to break. "Eat cadet." He says in a cold voice trying to intimidate me but all it does is add fire to my growing anger. "Eating is one thing you can't make me do so back off." I am trying to keep control but I am failing miserably.

He turns and looks at me. "Is that so. You will eat a sustainable diet or I will teach you why it is important." My anger and irritation has reached its peak I look him in his eyes. "Fuck. Off. Eric." I say to him in a low voice drawing out each word. I have had enough of his fucking demanding insistence. I am not fucking hungry and I am not going to eat. I see the other instructors staring at me shocked that I just said that. _Shit._ His face flashes with anger. "Get your ass up right now cadet and get outside." He says as he rises to his feet and his low cold tone worries me just a bit.

 _Crap._ Four and Zeke both have a worried look plastered on their faces too. The other guys at my table stare at me with shocked looks on their faces except Jeff who looks pissed and is shaking his head. "I said get up and get outside RIGHT NOW!" He shouts right into my ear in a harsh cold voice. This is not the bossy instructor shout, he is actually sounds pissed off for the first time, I am actually afraid of what is about to happen, but I don't let it show.

I breath deeply, put my apple down and follow him outside. When we get outside, we walk over to the path and he turns to face me. "Run" he says and his face is dripping with anger.

"How many laps?" I ask a little confused. This is not what I expected. Actually I am not sure what I expected but this sure wasn't it. "Until I say to stop." His lip turns up ever so slightly. So is this how he is going to break me down? Huh. _Well game on Eric!_ "Fine." I take a deep breath and start running. To my surprise he starts running right behind me.

We run in silence for the first twenty minutes and after already having done P.T. barely an hour ago I am already exhausted. "Pick it up! You are going to slow." He says trying to push me to go faster and it works because I pick it up. I do not want him to think he got the best of me. John's words from earlier echo in my head, 'break her down', that is what he is trying to do but it isn't going to work. I push myself even harder.

Another twenty minutes and I am sweating but so is he as he jogs next to me. Mid-stride he peels off his shirt and tucks it in to his pocket. _Holy Shit._ He is ripped. Every single muscle from his chest to his hips are rock solid. He has to have one of the hottest body's I have ever seen. I momentary forget that I am pissed at him. When he notices I am looking at him he gives me a hard look, although I think I see his lip twitch in amusement. "Keep moving cadet." His voice is cold but the anger seems to be gone.

I remember why I am here and I turn back forward trying to push away the horrible burning I feel in my legs. I don't know home much longer I can keep this up. As much as I don't want to admit it, I am really exhausted and without having ate breakfast my energy is spent. He on the other hand looks like he can go several more hours. I try to reason with him trying to end this torture without giving in.

"Shouldn't I be going to class?" I try asking in between my heaving breaths. "Discipline overrules class now pick it up." He says simply. My head is starting to get a bit dizzy but I really don't want him to get the satisfaction of me quitting. This has to be almost over so I keep going pushing through the burn and fuzziness. I start singing in my head to distract myself,

 _Broke! Inside, This life, you can never be reborn within,_

 _I came this far erase my scars._

I close my eyes for a minute trying to push away the nausea and dizziness that is getting worse. I can do this, I know I can. I open my eyes and keep going.

 _Fight! This time, Inside, take a break from the lie you live,_

 _I came this far, erase my scars._

I keep pushing and I pray Eric will just give up soon.

 _Find my control, Find reasons to beat this,_

 _Find truth below, The lies and the wreckage._

 _I can't let go, I'm too close, too restless,_

 _I'm letting you know, I'm far too aggressive._

I try to keep going but black starts closing in on my vision. I involuntarily slow down and then falls to my knees. I am losing all control of my actions. My body feels like jello and I am out of breath. Eric stops in front of me and kneels down.

I barely hear his voice but I see a triumphant smirk on his face, "Ready to give..." I fall against his bare chest losing all control myself and the black keeps closing in around me "Fuck" Eric says and I feel his arms slide under my legs as he pick me up and starts moving. I feel the warmth of his chest against my cheek as the dark engulfs me completely.

* * *

"Is she going to be ok?" I hear Eric voice but I still can't open my eyes. His voice lacks any emotion.

"She was severely dehydrated. I already put two bags of fluid in her and based on what you said she hasn't been eating much. That contributed to why she passed out. You really shouldn't have pushed her so hard knowing she was not getting the proper nutrition." A woman scolds him.

"I didn't think she would push herself that hard. I was waiting for her to stop and give up." His voice is cold again. "I have to get to my afternoon session, I already missed this morning. I will be back later this afternoon."

 _Afternoon? How long have I been here?_

"She'll be ok Max. She will be ok to continue." _How many people are in here?_ "Eric, be sure to get me your report before lights out." I can hear the irritation in Max voice. Eric must be in trouble.

"Once she wakes up, as long as her vitals are good, she can go back to the dorm, but she will be excused from evening P.T. I will continue to monitor her until then" Her voice full of authority

"Ok, I get it." Eric tells her and then I hear foot steps exiting the room.

It is quiet and I think I am alone. "Come on Danielle, wake up." Eric is still here and I feel him move a piece of hair off my face, "I know you can do it." If I didn't know any better I would say he actually feels sorry. Quiet feels the room. "You fucked up this time Eric." I hear him tell himself.

I am shocked by his comment. I thought it was his job to push us. He said it himself that he needed to "break me." I try to open my eyes but I hear his footsteps retreat the darkness takes me again.

* * *

"Come on, wake up D." Patrick's voice draws me awake again. I find I can open my eyes this time, but it is really bright causing me to squint. "Its about time." Jeff tells me, his voice full of relief.

"Hey guys. What's up" My voice barely comes out as a whisper. My voice is really dry and I am extremely thirsty. "Can I have some water?"

Patrick gets up from his chair next to my bed. "I will go get the nurse."

"Dani you fucking scared the shit out of me." Jeff says with his eyes closed. "I told you about keeping you mouth shut. Why would you purposely piss him off like that? He is crazy!" I roll my eyes. "Maybe because he was pissing me off." My voices is still quiet but a little strength has returned to it. "When I saw him carrying your limp body across the courtyard, let me tell you, murderous thoughts went through my mind." A slight smile touches my lips. "I tried to follow him but he told me if I didn't get to class I would be next. I'm sorry."

"What? Why are you sorry?" My eyes pull together. "I should have told him to fuck off and stayed with you." He has a half smirk on his face and my lips turn up more. "I would have loved to see his reaction to that." Jeff laughs and the nurse comes in.

"Hello Dani, I am Marlene. How are you feeling?" She has a sweet, calming voice. "I am ok, I am just really thirsty."

"Yes, Patrick told me. I brought you some ice chips. You will need to eat them slowly to avoid getting sick. I have been running fluid in through your IV most of the day so you are no longer be dehydrated but your throat is probably really dry. I also gave you a protein shot and a vitamin booster that should help you recover faster. You should avoid eating for the rest of the day except for the crackers. I will send you back with some juice and crackers that you can eat tonight and a protein bar I want you to eat in the morning before P.T. but I have already warned Eric your P.T. for tomorrow is to be light." Her voice become irritated as she says the last part.

"Ok, can I go now. I am feeling better." My voice not sounding as strong as I like, but I am really exhausted and just want to get back to my bed. I go to sit up but she pushes me back down. "You will need to stay for just a little while longer so I can make sure vitals stay stable. Evening P.T. is about to start. Guys if you want to go on ahead and pick her up on your way to the dorm afterward she will be ready." I really don't want to stay but I guess I don't have a choice.

"Alright, we will be back after P.T." Jeff says and gets up and kisses me on the ahead and Patrick does as well. I smile sweetly at both of them. "See you guys soon." They return my smile and walk out.

"Well aren't you the popular one." Marlene tells me as she starts the machine to check my blood pressure. "Huh?" I look back to her. "Well I've had more people in today then I usually get in a month." she says with a small laugh. _That's weird. Wonder why_. "Yep and several people including your friends there and Eric have been here more than once."

"Eric why the hell does he care. He worried I might die on his watch." My voice is full of disgust. "Hey now," she looks at me pointedly. "Don't be too hard on him." She can't be serious. I am sitting in a damn hospital bed because of him. But her gaze never falterers. "Your serious?" I cannot believe this, she is defending him.

"Eric is a complicated person." I roll my eyes at her. "I am serious. I know he comes off all hard like an asshole, but...well, he can be an asshole, but that is not the point. Somewhere inside him he has feelings even though he would probably kick my ass for saying so. He is known as a real jerk around here but like the rest of us, he has his own past that he has had to deal with. Not to mention he is good at what he does. He was just trying to get his point across." I look down at my fingers. "Oh is that what he was doing because it seems to me that he was pushing me until I literally collapsed in exhaustion."

She stops what she is doing and looks at me. "Exactly the point!" I look back at her. "Dani, you are not eating enough. Maybe that is ok when you are anywhere else but not here where you are pushing your body to these limits. You need to have enough energy to sustain you and the only way to get that is to eat a well balanced meal at least three times a day and drink lots of water. If you would have been eating well and drinking water, you would have never collapsed like that. Granted he may have pushed it a little to far, he was right."

 _Shit she is right_. "He is still an ass."

"Well I never said he wasn't. I do have to tell you I have never look seen him look so worried. That is not normal for him."

"Worried?" Why would he be worried. I heard her tell him that I would be ok.

"When I came here earlier just before dinner I was surprised to see him sitting next to you. He had such a worried look. I think he actually feels sorry that he did this to you. I knew he would be mad if I saw him like that so I quietly left. I don't think he noticed me. He stayed in here for about an hour and left just before your friends got here. Like I said he is a complicated man."

"Well the look on his face when I collapsed would say otherwise." I tell her ready to be done with this conversation. She finishes writing something down and starts to walk out.

"Get some rest. I will come back and check your vitals before your friends pick you up." She stops and looks at me. "And just so you know, the look _I saw_ on his face when he walk in with you limp in his arms did say otherwise." She turns and walks out. Once again, I am completely confused. What was that suppose to mean. I lean back on the pillow and wait for the guys to comeback.

* * *

As we walk back to the dorm, Jeff has his arm around me and I am leaning into him allowing him to hold me. I rarely feel comfortable enough with others being this close, but I have always allowed Jeff and Patrick to be close. I trust them both and they are the few who can comfort me. Not to mention I still feel pretty weak and I am grateful for the help. I see Eric standing outside the gym against the wall. I think I see sadness in his face but before I can really see him, he turns and goes into the gym.

When we get back into the dorm Jeff walks me to my bed and gets me out some shorts and a tank top. "Here let me help you get dress." he says with a wicked grin. "Funny, I think I will take a shower and change myself." I snatch my clothes out of his hands and reach in my chest to get my undergarments. Glad he still has a sense of humor. I stand to make sure I am steady on my feet and go into the bathroom to shower.

The shower feels good but I am still weak so I make it short and head back into the dorm. I sit down on my bed and eat the crackers and juice since I am kind of hungry. Tara offers to french braid my hair and I let her. I am surprised by her offer and when she is done she sits on my bed as we all just sit around talking. No one seems to be interested in doing homework tonight.

They tell me Eric was a real jerk the rest of the day clearly pissed off and that ironically enough, after throwing judgment at me for not eating, he missed both lunch and dinner. I find myself wondering why but then again, Marlene had said he was there for dinner but she never mentioned lunch. Royce and Joseph both come in and to chat with us and ask me how I am doing. I really don't like this attention but I try to be polite about it. After all they are just concerned. The others from the B dorm follow not too long after. I look around, and it occurs to me that this is the first time we all have been in one room by choice talking to each other.

Leeann stays close to Joseph, flaunting herself at him and tries to bring all the attention to her. Other than John asking me how I am doing and a few other off the top remarks, he stays quiet just listening to others, as does Terrie. I also notice there seems to be a bit of tension between John and Jeff but I am not sure why. As far as I know they have hardly talk to each other.

Eric comes in the room to give us a our five minute warning. I look at him and he looks everywhere but at me. There is no emotion on his face but I notice his hands are curled into fist and that there is blood on his knuckles. He turns and leaves just as fast as he comes in. The people from B dorm say their goodbyes and leave as we all get into bed.

The lights go out and I just lay there. I can't believe I am still so tired after being out for the better part of the day, but I cannot sleep because my mind is racing. Today was such a weird confusing day. Eric's actions are throwing me through loops and I am finding it hard to figure him out. I am not sure why he is picking on me other than he obviously doesn't like that I challenge him or deny him control over me.

"Dani if you don't stop moving around I am going to tie you down." Jeff says sounding irritated. "Sorry, I am having a hard time falling asleep." After a moment I hear him get up. "Sit up."

"I am ok Jeff just go to bed." I think I can see him smile. "I said sit up." I give in knowing exactly what he is doing and I really want him too anyway. He sits down with his back against the headboard with his legs crossed. He puts the pillow on his lap, I lay back down on my pillow, and he starts to run his fingers across my hair. He use to do this at camp when I was upset or scared. He always seemed to make me feel better. "Are you sure your ok?" His voice full of concern. "Yeah I will be fine." He leans down and kisses my hair. "Sleep."

"Can you two quiet down over there? And I don't want to hear you two doing anything over there."

"Fuck off Mike." Jeff tells him with annoyance cause that would never happen. He has always been the protective older brother type and yes he is sweet, but we have never liked each other like that.

I smile and close my eyes. I focus on his fingers stroking my hair and it doesn't take long to fall asleep.

* * *

 **Thank you everyone. Please let me know what you think. Until next time!**

 **(Music Credit: Erase My Scars - Evans Blue)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone. I have to say thank you to everyone reading my story. I have been shocked at the stats on this story. Sorry you had to wait a bit for this one cause I was on Vacation but I hope you like it. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 10:**

 _(Sunday June 7th)_

I am up early this morning. I look at the clock and it is only 04:45. I lay looking up at the ceiling. I actually made it through the first week. The last few days since I ran myself nearly dead have been a little odd, especially the morning after it happened.

 _Flashback Friday morning:_

This morning I am feeling much more refreshed. Even after all that happened yesterday, all the sleeping worked wonders. Well I am sure everything Marlene pumped into me helped. I dress quickly, make my bed and scarf down my protein bar. We head out to P.T. and Eric is on the stage. We fall into our spots. "Dani, you are excused from normal P.T. today. You will walk around the path until we are done." Eric says but doesn't look at me. "I am feeling fine, I can workout with everyone else." I don't want anymore special treatment, but when I don't move, Eric looks at me. "You will do as I say!" his face is hard and cold.

I shake my head and start walking around the path as I hear them start to warm up. I suppose he got in trouble yesterday and now he is even more pissed at me. Not to mention he was ordered to go easy on me this morning. It irritates me that he is acting like this is all my fault. I didn't make him push me so hard, but now that I think about it my legs are kind of sore this morning.

I don't want to think about Eric anymore so I try to focus on my walk. I start humming the words to one of my favorite songs: _In this hole, that is me, the dead are rolling over..._

By the end of P.T. I have gotten over my irritation of not getting to do P.T. with everyone else. As much as I am sure they would have loved to take my place, I don't like to be singled out. Jeff, Patrick and I walk into the mess haul and Eric steps in front of me. "Go take your seat." I can't read his expression but his voice is demanding and I decide not to argue. I go sit down and a minute later he sets a plate in front of me. My eyes widen, he has given me a huge plate of food similar to what he has for himself. He sits down next to me. "Eat."

I can't take my eyes of the huge plate of food. There is no way I can eat all that, even if I was starving. This is impossible, but I am not sure if I can reason with him. "Eric," I say in a pleading whisper and I see his fork stops half way to his mouth out of the corner of my eye. "There is no way I can eat this much, not even if I wanted to." I say it low enough no one else can hear and I turn my head slightly and look at him. He closes his eyes for just a second as some kind of emotion flashes on his face so quickly I barely see it and then he glances side ways at me. "Fine, but you are eating at least half." He demands quietly but he doesn't sound angry and he resumes eating.

Thank goodness for that although I am still going to have a hard time eating that much. I decide not to test my luck, and just start eating as I sit in silence. Everyone else is buzzing around me. I am actually pretty pissed that I am being served like a damn child, but I am surprised he actually let me reason with him. Reasoning isn't Eric's strong suit so I keep eating. I know he is going to be harder on me now that he got in trouble because of me but I am hoping if I eat he will lay off me for the rest of the day.

 _End Flashback_

Eric has continued to serve me my food for the last few days but after breakfast Friday, he only dishes me up half as much. At least it is more manageable. He also sits there and waits for me to finish even though he always finishes way before me. He has also been extremely quiet toward me, but only me. I am beginning to think he is trying not to lose his temper. Anytime he talks to me it's in a low cold voice but he still pushes me to work harder whenever he gets the chance. He seems deep in though a lot the last few days or maybe he is distracted by something; it leaves me really wondering what the hell is the deal with him.

After Thursday morning, other than Eric's odd behavior, and being served all my meals, everything went back to normal. The other instructors started treating me as if nothing had happened, which is how I prefer it. I somehow managed to keep my mouth shut and get through the last few days without incident.

The alarm clocks go off pulling me out of my thoughts. I get up and get ready for the morning. It will be nice to have a free day as I have a lot of homework to get done. They sure like to keep us busy. We go outside for P.T but instead of the instructors on the stage, they are in front of it and Max stands there with another woman I have never seen. I also see a screen set up behind him and my curiosity is peaked. Today is going to be more different than just some free time.

"Good morning cadets. Congratulations on making it through the first week. Today will be a mostly free day. All meal times will remain the same and you will be required to do both morning and evening P.T. but the rest of the day is pretty much free other than your counseling session. I would like to introduce you all to our camp Psychologist, Lynn." The woman in her late 20s nods her head. "You each will be required to attend a 30 minute counseling session today. Your individual times will be listed on your daily schedule. I urge you to keep in mind that although it is free time you may not leave the property and all the rules still stand. You are also greatly urged to work on your homework. The gym is open, if you need supplies see Tori and please take up any medical complaints with the Marlene." Max looks down to Will who is standing to the side of the stage and he nods his head.

"From the moment you arrived here you have been watched carefully. We pay attention to anything and everything you do from the time you wake up, until you go to sleep. We do this for several reasons, but only one you need to know about, is to rank you. In life hard work pays off in reward. We believe in this fundamental law of society, so it is only fitting that it is recognized here as well. We have a system that helps both reward as well as discipline you, to push you to behave as you should. The list I am about to revel will show you how well you did this week. The top two people will be rewarded the bottom three will disciplined. If you are the top two, Eric will allow you to choose your reward from an approved list. If you are in the bottom three, then you will be on mess haul duty for all three meals today. You will also be cleaning the the dorm bathroom in which you will report to Uriah at 09:30 and he will provide you the supplies and ensure it is done properly." He turns back to Will and nods his head and the screen lights up.

1\. John

2\. Dani

3\. Huck

4\. Terrie

5\. Joseph

6\. Tera

7\. Patrick

8\. Steven

9\. Royce

10\. Leeann

11\. Mike

12\. Jeff

 _WHAT?_ I am completely floored. How the hell did I manage to get at the top of the list. I see Eric glance over at me and his lips twitch upward slightly. _How can he possibly find this funny?_

Max continues. "Now let me say a few things about this list. While your homework will factor in the future it is not on this list since you have yet to have any due. However, your participation in class does," _Ok, I always participate in class._ "Another factor is your overall improvement. It is one of our goals to help you improve in all areas and we will push you to do that," _Not sure how well I did there_.

"Your attitude toward your fellow cadets and toward your instructors and staff is also factored in," _Well I failed that part majorly when it comes to Eric and Mike, but everyone else I am cool with. Granted Mike was just an misunderstanding but the thing with Eric was huge._ "I want to make one thing clear, while defiance is frowned upon, we also greatly admire courage because to be courageous it to be brave. Be careful cadets; this is a fine line. I want to point out that I saw an act of courage this week so great, that I have not seen the likes of it in almost 5 years when our very own Eric, Zeke and Four were cadets here." _Really?_

"To see someone who has so much courage, they push themselves to their physical and mental limits, without giving up. The heart and passion it takes to do this is so great, it is rarely seen. With that in mind I want to congratulate Dani for her great courage this week, but I also warn you, we will not tolerate insurgent behavior." Everyone in camp is looking at me and I am speechless; not to mention, I am sure I am bright as a tomato. I am so confused to how me pushing myself simply not be out done by Eric is recognized as courage. "Have a great day cadets and remember what I have said here today." Max finishes and exits the stage.

Eric hops up on the stage and starts leading us in our morning workout. I am completely dazed still and not really paying attention until Paulo shouts at me to pick it up and I push everything that just happened aside and focus on my workout. I breath through our exercises and make a mental note that I definitely can get through the workout more easily today, or maybe I am just getting more use to the burning. I have to pull my pants up a lot more because I have lost weight with all this exercise. Today I am going to have to go exchange them for smaller ones.

We finish up our workout. "Alright, John and Danielle stay here, the rest of you are dismissed. Leeann, Mike and Jeff make sure you report to Uriah in the bathroom at zero-nine thirty and let this be a lesson to work harder and keep your mouths closed." With that, I know exactly why Jeff was at the bottom. He spent all week sticking up for me not to mention he told me he mouth off to Four too. It makes me feel like shit. I will have to find a way to make it up to him. Eric has also been irritating the crap out of me this week by refusing to call me by my nickname. He usually calls me cadet but when he is forced to say my name it is always _Danielle_.

Everyone goes back inside except John and I and we go over to Eric who has jumped down from the stage and picked up his tablet that was on the edge of the stage. "You each get to pick one off this list." He hands me the tablet first but doesn't look at me.

1\. No morning P.T. for one day

2\. Pass on 1 instructional class

3\. Pass on 2 homework assignments

4\. No mess hall duty for 3 days

5\. Sports Balls (Basketball/Football/Soccer)

6\. PSP*

7\. Kindle Reader*

8\. IPod (1 gig)*

9\. Lunch at The Cottage cafe

10\. 30 min Skype chat (may not use until day 30+)

*Cadet may only choose 1 electronic item during the 4 month camp

"Definitely the IPod." I tell him quickly the excitement building in me, I have been dying to have one the whole time I have been here. Of everything that is one thing I miss the most. He raises one eyebrow and my mind flashes back to our morning in the bathroom and my face heats up. His lip twitches. "You will get one hour to download music. Come to the instructors dorm after Lunch and I will have your IPod and you'll be able to load the music on it." He hands the tablet to John who looks over the list. "I will take the Kindle Reader." and he hands the tablet back. "OK I will bring it by this afternoon. You may request books through me. As long as they are approved, I will add them to the account and it should automatically sync to your reader. You may only use these devices during free time or meal times. If you do not follow the rule then you will lose it permanently."

"Are we allowed to let others use it?" I ask without thinking. I do not want to press my luck but I really want to know. Eric's face scrunches, "It is your to do as you wish, if you wish to share, go ahead. But be warned, if they get broken, they will not be replaced and you will not be able to choose another one if in the top two again. You only get one electronic item during camp no exceptions. Do you both understand?" We nod our heads yes and then head into the dorm.

"So what did you get." Jeff ask as I get back in. My grin is too hard to contain, "An Ipod, and you my friend, may use it any time I am not." He smiles, "Sweet!"

"Sorry about getting in the bottom, I know I probably had something to do with that." He rolls his eyes. "I am my own person, I guess I need to learn to shut my mouth too." I laugh and go pull out my hair tie and brush my hair since we don't have to work out much today. I prefer it down but with our schedule it is more convenient to leave it up. Once I finish we go to breakfast. Eric is still serving me food and sits next to me to be sure I eat it all. I wonder how long until this is going to last, but I am in a good mood and I am not going to say something now. I eat my eggs, potatoes, bacon and fruit while I talk to the guys.

Jeff has to stay and clean so Patrick, Royce and I walk back to the together. I have to wait for lunch before I get my IPod so I decided to get some homework done until then. I suggest to the guys that we should sit out in the courtyard since it is such a nice day. They agreed and we go in to grab out stuff!

* * *

By lunch time, I have finished all but one of my assignments. It took longer to do because most of us were out there chatting as we did our work, but I feel like I got a lot accomplished. I am getting more excited about my Ipod and I am anxious to see what they are going to let me download. Eric sits down next to me and hands me a plate that has a chicken salad and fruit on it. I am happy that it is something light because I am not that hungry. "You can pick up the Ipod any time after lunch." He says uninterested. "Like I could forget." I say smiling.

He eats quickly and leaves before I am done which is different. He always finishes first and he always stay to make sure I finish mine. I finish all my food anyway just in case he is testing me and then I sit and talk with everyone until it is time for clean up. I get up and leave, not waiting for anyone else.

No one is in our dorm and I walk straight through and through the bathroom to the instructors dorm. I stop just inside of the door. I have never been in here and it looks a lot different from ours. The beds are in the 4 corners of the room and they are doubles instead of singles and instead of our standard bedding, they are each unique. They must use their own bedding instead of the issued stuff we use. They have a bunch of stuff on the walls like calendars, pictures, message boards. Their desk are also larger and I see each has an armoire and bookshelf. The room seems to be separated into four areas, one for each instructor, but all of them seem to be pretty neat and clean.

Eric is comfortably sitting on what I presume is his bed looking at his tablet and glances up at me when I enter. "Come sit." I walk over to his bed but I am not sure where he was implying I sit, his bed, his desk, the floor. I look at him with a questioning look and he looks down on his bed next to him, so I sit on the edge. He hands me a blue Ipod with and nice blue ear buds. "Here is your Ipod. Those are high quality ear buds so they should be good for a long time if you take care of them." He shifts closer to me and I freeze and have to focus to stay calm. He hands me his tablet.

"What kind of music to you listen to?" I relax a little. "I like everything but I am mostly into rock and alternative music especially in high stress times. Music relaxes me and calms my anger." He just looks at me. That was probably more information than was necessary and he probably doesn't care. He touches a music app and it pops up. "I have tons of that kind of music on here. Just tap on the two dots next to the songs you want and select 'Add to Danielle'. It will add it to your play list and at the end you can sync it to your ipod. If you want anything I don't have you can use the 'MP3 Rocket' app to download it. I have a lifetime membership and it has everything. You got one hour. Here you can use these, it is already connected to my tablet." He hands me blue wireless Beats. Wow he must like listening to music to have such nice headphones. I always wished I could afford something like these.

I put on his head phones and he shifts back a little picking up a book that was next to him and starts reading. I look at the cover and it is Stephen King's 'Bag of Bones' and it looks like he recently started reading it. I have read it before. Stephen King is one of my favorite authors but not what I expected he would be reading. "That is a good book." I offer my thoughts. He glances up at me for a moment and then continues reading. I guess he doesn't care for my opinion and it's not like he should. I turn back to the tablet and start scrolling through his music. He really does have tons of music on here and most of it is rock and alternative. He really must like music. He even has a few bands I haven't heard of. I start adding music to my play list from all the bands I like; A Day to Remember, Alice in Chains, Linkin Park (who happens to be my favorite) and some others.

I am starting to get uncomfortable perched at the edge of the bed so I scoot back just a little so I can cross my legs in front of me. He is still sitting pretty close to me with one of his legs crossed in front of him, the other one hanging off the bed and leaning up against his headboard. I don't want it to seem rude by trying to get further away and I am surprisingly ok with his closeness, so I continue to scroll down through the bands; Pop Evil, Red, Theory of a Dead Man, Three Days Grace and a bunch of other stuff. Once I make it down to the "Z" bands I scroll back up to see if I missed anyone I want. I click on a few bands I have never heard of and listen to some of the music adding a few that I think I will like. Thinking of the song I sang to push myself a few days ago, I wanted to make sure I had it on here too. He doesn't have Evans Blue on his list so I pull up the other app praying they have it. Sure enough they do and I download a 'Erase my Scars' and add it to my play list. I also download Demon Hunter's 'Falling Away' since it is a good song to run to. When I am finished I have several hundred songs on my list and it has been just over an hour. Eric is usually very punctual and I am surprised he didn't stop me but as I look over, he seems lost in his book.

I continue to look at him. He looks different. He looks a little younger, more comfortable, not guarded. After a minute he looks up and I hurry up and look down, blushing that I got caught staring at him yet again. He continues to look at me like he is waiting for an explanation. "I am finished." I say quickly. He breaths deeply and picks up a cord that is next to his leg and plugs it into the top of his tablet and then picks up my Ipod that is sitting in between our legs and plugs in the other end. "Go into your play list and click the sync icon." I do as he says and he watches me. It starts syncing saying it will take several minutes.

He reaches over to take his tablet and I freeze again and so does he. His face turns confused. I breath deeply and push through it and push his tablet toward him. When I shove it toward him he breaks out of his thoughts and takes it looking through my play list. "Only two songs...huh." My head is a little clouded and it takes me a second to realize what he means. "What can I say, you have good taste in music." I try to seem casual but I hear the edge in my voice.

He is quiet for a minute, then gets a weird look on his face like he thinking hard about something, "So are you going to tell me why you don't like to be touched." I freeze again and nervousness starts to build in my chest. I look down and start playing with my shoelace. "I just don't like it." I try to stay calm and steady. "Have you been that way for a long time?" _Is this really his business?_ "Since I was about 9. I don't want to talk about it." My chest is beginning to tighten. "Does it have something to do with why you freaked out in class on Monday?" _Why is he pushing?_ I don't want to talk about this, my breaths are getting shallow. "Are you ok?" His face suddenly changes and I can't read his emotions anymore. "Yes" I whisper, but I doubt he realized I just answered both questions.

"You know you need to learn to face your fears. It is part of learning to control your emotions." The tightening subsides a bit, as the anger starts to rise. He has no idea and he could never understand. I don't know what to say so I stay quiet. "I am not saying just get over it, you just need to learn to get past them. Start small and work your way up."

"It isn't that easy." My voice sounds so low but is laced with anger. A look of distaste crosses his face. He probably thinks I am weak. "I never said it would be easy. Nothing in life is easy." I shake my head. He doesn't understand. I look at my watch. "I need to go to my counseling session," I lie to find a reason to leave. His voice suddenly stern, "I don't like it when people lie to me." I look up confused. _How the hell does he know that?_ As if reading my mind he answers me. "I make those schedules and you have an hour. If you want to leave just say so." I think he is angry, which just makes me angry. Not just at him but at myself for not thinking of that. He passes them out every morning, of course he knows, but he is the one asking me such personal questions so why is he getting angry. "I would like to go now." I manage to say in a level voice. He looks down at the tablet and disconnects the Ipod handing it to me.

I get up to leave. "You know distraction can work too." He says almost amused. I have no idea what the hell that means. I give him a confused look and leave the room.

I go outside and lay on the grass with my eyes close and listen to my newly acquired Ipod, which I am truly grateful for right now. Why does he have to pull my emotions in fifty different directions. And he is so hard to read. I can't tell if he is mad, sad, pissed, or whatever. He is so damn frustrating. I turn up the music and try to forget everything around me before I have to go deal with the shrink.

* * *

I feel someone shaking my shoulder and my eyes fly open. Eric is crouching next to me. "Your counseling session is in one minute." He gets up and walks toward the gym without another word. I am watching him still a little dazed. I look at my watch and see he is right so I jump up and run toward classroom A.

I get there just in time and John is just walking out. "Good luck," he says to me with a wink and I give him a small smile.

I go inside and Lynn greets me shaking my hand. I am a little nervous because I do not want to talk about my issues with this woman, or with anyone for that matter. We sit down on a couch to the side of the room. "Today is just basic informational stuff so try to relax," she tells me. I give her a small smile and try to relax.

We go over my family members and good friends, school I go to, and friends that I have made here. Nothing that she probably couldn't find out on her own. When we finish I am relieved I really didn't have to say much. She tell me goodbye and I decide go get my pants so I go to visit Tori to switch out my clothes.

* * *

When I finally make it to bed I feel like I accomplished a lot today even though it was a confusing day. I seem to feel that way all the time these days. This place is so physical exhausting and mentally exhausting. I have to get through this but right now I am not sure how I am going to do this. Juvy compared to this place is a damn cake walk and what I wouldn't give to just have to do a few months in that place and go home, but I know that can't happen. The minute I turn 18, I would go to jail and even though I would never admit it out loud, I am a little frightened of that. Jail changes people, I have seen it and I do not want to go through that.

 _I have to do this. I will do this._

* * *

 **So there it is. Hope you liked it and as always feel free to review and comment. I have caught up all my chapters as they are getting longer and are taking longer to write so there may be several days in between chapters but I will post them as soon as I finish them. Until next time!**

 **(Music Credit: Happy? - Mudvayne)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Here is another chapter. Thank you so much for all the comments and reviews, they are really awesome and motivating. I try to respond to almost everyone so keep them coming. Enjoy the chapter.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 11:**

 _(Monday June 8th)_

I wake up to the alarm going off. I didn't sleep well last night. My mind was so consumed with whether I can make it through this program I just couldn't sleep and what little bit of sleep I did was restless. But I am determine to do this and I am not going to let anybody mess this up for me, not even Eric. He was right about one thing; I need to learn to control my emotions. I am still a little confused about our conversation yesterday but I really can't dwell on it anymore. It is what it is and I am sure I will understand, eventually.

We walk out for P.T. and I realize I just got ready and made my bed without even thinking about it. Things are becoming routine for me. Zeke is on the stage as we line up and Eric comes out of our dorm and stands in front of the stage with the other instructors.

"Dorm A, one of your beds is not made. That will be an extra fifteen minutes." Eric says managing to look at everyone but me. _Crap._ This is not how I wanted to start off my morning. I look over at Patrick because I am certain he was the culprit. I was too tired and lost in my thoughts to make sure he did it. I am not his damn momma, he needs to do things without me having to tell so, and the look on his face tells me that I am right. Well hell, at least he managed to get up on his own today.

We start stretching and then start our run. It has become habit for me to take the lead with Eric usually in front or beside me. He falls in beside me today. My thoughts are all over the place this morning and it takes me a lap to realize he is running rather close to me. I ignore it and push on. As we start our fourth lap I am starting to slow a bit. "Don't slow down, push through it." His voice low and steady like this is his first lap. I look over at Eric but he is still looking forward. I shake my head but I do push harder and pace him for the last lap.

We finish running and resume our exercises as I wonder what the hell that was all about. We lay down to do leg lifts and he stops by my head looking out at everyone. "Lift, hold, down" I hear Zeke hammering out commands but his voice is in the back ground because I can only really think about is how close Eric is to me. On the fourth rep he looks down and his eyes lock on mine. Instead of looking away, we both just stare at each other as I continue with my leg lifts. Fifth rep, sixth rep, my heart is starting to pound and I am not sure if it is because of the exercise or those bluish-grey eyes locked on my own. I find it odd how him merely staring at me can feel so intense, no words, no touch, no expression on his face, just the look of his beautiful eyes staring into mine. Seventh rep, eighth rep, It is even stranger that I am not at all uncomfortable with his closeness. Ninth rep...as soon as Zeke calls "down" on our tenth rep, Eric breaks our eye contact and continues walking between the other cadets. _Holy Shit._ I try to slow my breathing which is taking a minute to get under control.

 _What the hell is his angle now? Why did he just do that and what was the damn point?_ I swear he is the most frustrating man I have ever known. We finish up our workout including the extra time. Eric avoids making eye contact with me the rest of our workout and I try to focus but my eyes keep flinging over to him. We are dismissed and we head back into the dorm. As I walk past Four he is looking at me with a disapproving look. I think he must have noticed Eric and my exchange, but what was it really and why would he care?

As I get inside the first thing I see is Patrick's bed still a mess and I punch him in the arm as I walk by him. "Dude you really need to get your shit together." Even though I am frustrated with him, I am still smiling. It is hard to be mad at him. "Sorry." I change out of my tank top into a tee shirt and we go to breakfast. I take my seat as the others go to get their food. Again I feel like a damn errant child having to be served my food. I look around and Eric isn't in here yet. I debate for a moment whether I should just get my own but I am trying to be good and stay on everyone's good side because I do not want to be in the bottom ranking this Sunday. I am startled when I feel John sit down next to me where Eric usually sits.

He smiles at me "Hey." I try to give him a convincing smile to be polite but truth is I am not comfortable with him sitting so close. "Hi. What's up?" I haven't really got to know John much but he seems nice. "Not much. It was kind of nice having a quiet day yesterday. I got to read something that was actually interesting for the first time since I got here."

"Yeah that is how I feel about music. It was really awesome to be able to just put in my ear buds and block out the rest of the world. Especially here." He looks down and I get the impression he is nervous for some reason. "So what book are you reading?" I hurry and ask trying to keep the conversation from turning weird. It seems to work because he perks right up.

"It is a Robert Jordan series. I am on the fourth book. You ever heard of him," I know the name because my friend use to read his books. "Yes, I have heard of him but I have never read any of his books. I tend to read a lot of horror books."

He raises his eyebrow at me. "Really, I pegged you more as a music girl." I laugh. "I actually love to read and I read a lot, but music is my outlet. I listen to music all the time especially when I am mad or upset. I guess you can say it is my go to hobby but it really depends on my mood."

"That is cool. So who is your favorite author."

"Definitely Stephen King. I love his books. I think I have read just about all of them." My words fall off at the end as I feel someone step up behind me .

"Your in my seat cadet." Eric tells John in his low intimidating voice. I don't know why he has to be such a jerk to everyone. John looks up and his face goes from shocked to disappointed. He gets up, "I will talk to you later." He walks over to the other table since ours is pretty much full with my dorm. Eric sits close beside me and sets my plate in front of me. "Eat," he sounds pissed and I have no idea why.

 _What did I do?_ He turns to me with annoyance on his face and it occurs to me I must have said that out loud and apparently he doesn't like being questioned. My eyebrows pull together, I really don't understand why he is irritated this time. He takes a deep breath and turns back to his own food. "Just eat alright." I turn and start to eat my food. Jeff is sitting across from me and shakes his head slightly before going back to eating his own food. Patrick is sitting next to me and leans in to whisper, "Apparently I am not the only one that likes to sit next to you." I shove his arm. "Shut up jerk." He laughs and my lips turn up in a wide grin.

All the sudden I feel Eric's leg lean up against mine and my face falls. _Why is he touching me?_ It wasn't an accident because he still hasn't moved his leg away from mine. "You ok D?" Patrick ask and I look at Eric quickly, then turn to my food. "Yeah, I-um am fine," I stutter out and I start eating. I see Eric's lip twitch out of the corner of my eye but I don't look at him. _What the hell!_ I think he is doing this on purpose.

He doesn't move his leg for the entire meal but as soon as I am finished he gets up and leaves quickly. I don't even know how to explain what just happened.

* * *

After I finish cleaning up from lunch I go out to the court yard where almost everyone is hanging out as they wait for our afternoon classes. Jeff is laying on his back listening to my IPod with his eyes closed. I walk over his stomach and quickly sit down between him and John. "Damn girl, you are going to kill me," he says clutching his stomach. "Whatever I am not that heavy." He just smiles back. "So what are you guys doing?"

Patrick looks up me, "We were just taking bets on how long it was going to take you to get in trouble again." He says with a smirk, but then when I look at John, Mike and Huck they have the same look. I take it they were actually talking about me, but whether or not that is what they were saying is beyond me. "Really, and who thinks I will last the longest?"

John speaks up, "Oh that would be me. I give you two days." Everyone starts laughing. "Glad I amuse you guys but you better stop talking about me behind my back before I make sure that I get in trouble for punching one of you." They all laugh even harder. "I am _serious._.." I punch Patrick in the arm hard but the smile on my face says I am still joking around. "Ok, ok, just don't hit me again." He rubs his arm because I did hit him kind of hard.

Everyone looks up behind me and I know someone is there. "Dani, I need to speak to you for a moment." I am surprised to hear Four is the one behind me and my head whips around. He looks uncomfortable and I am afraid he saw my exchange with my friends and I'm now in trouble. He is not talking so I assume he didn't want to talk in front of everyone. I get up a little saddened that maybe the boys weren't to far off, but I was joking and they knew that, no need to get in trouble for joking around. I follow him several yards away and he turns back around faces me.

"How are you doing here?" His question surprises me. "Um fine."

"I just wanted to make sure you are ok after what happened last week. Eric tends to go a little overboard sometimes and he seems to have taken a special interest in making you life here harder than most." I am not sure why he is telling me all this. "If you feel Eric is being unfair to you, compared to the others, you need to say something to Max."

"I...um...I'm ok. It isn't anything I can't handle." I look down and my hands twist together. I don't really think Eric has been unfair to me. I mean I do have a big mouth which tends to get me in trouble. Nothing I am not already use to.

"Ok. But I want you to understand that is an option. Eric has a reputation for being cruel and I don't want you to be on the bad end of that. Or if you feel more comfortable you can always talk to me. That is what I am here for." I am not sure what that is suppose to mean. I think he is over reacting a bit. I mean, yes Eric can be intense sometimes and he likes to push me but it isn't like he picks on me more than the others...does he?

"Ok. Thanks for letting me know." I turn around and walk back to my friends. That was really weird but now that I am starting to reflect, it is a little irritating that he thinks I can't handle myself. Geez, can I ever just stay in a good mood in this place. "You ok." John interrupts my thoughts. I need to get out of here, I am not in the mood to deal with everyone. "Yeah, I am fine, Jeff can I get my IPod." He hands it to me and I turn and walk away without another word. I hear John speaking in a whispered voice, "Is she ok?" Jeff is quick to speak up, "She will be. She just needs some time to herself. Let her be." I am grateful but I really don't want to hear it. I put in my ear buds and listen. The song 'Buried Beneath' comes on and I just let it play.

I don't know where I am going but as I wonder aimlessly for a few minutes, I end up in the gym. No one is here so I decide to go ahead and take my frustrations out on the punching bag. I don't bother to put on gloves, I just walk over to the bags and start punching.

I don't know why I get so frustrated when people doubt me. I like to think I am strong and most the time people seem to get that, but when people act like I can't take care of myself, it pisses me off. I have spent years building walls trying to deal with what I have been dealt in life. I have had to learn to be strong. I don't want to be that pathetic little girl that feels sorry for herself just because bad shit happened to her. I refuse to let people treat me like a victim. I will not break! As if it is a sign, Linkin Park's song 'Break' comes on. I try to clear my mind as my punches fall into a rhythm and just focus on the words in my head as it has seem to be my theme song for several years.

 _Break, Away from everybody_

 _Break, Away from everything_

 _If you can't stand the way this place is_

 _Take yourself to higher places_

Listening to the words it dawns on my that I am more open with people here than I have been in a really long time. I typically only hang out with one or two people but here I hang out with most of the cadets. I have opened myself up which isn't really a bad thing, but with the good, can bring the bad. I just need to stop letting people get to me. Who cares what they think, this is my life and I will live it the way I want to. _Fuck them!_

I suddenly see something move out of the corner of my vision. I turn quickly and I see Eric standing back against the wall with wonder on his face. I pull my buds out of my ears. My lips turn down as I realize I don't know how long he has been standing there. I just stand there not saying anything. Really I don't need to. I turn back around and I am about to continue when I feel him grab my wrist. Instinct kicks in and I pull my wrist roughly out of his hand. "WHAT?" My voice comes out much more angry than I intended and my face is full of frustration.

He stares at me for a minute with his cold, intense eyes obviously warning me to calm myself down. Then slowly he reaches and grabs my wrist turning my hand so my palm are down. I am frozen in place by his stare and his touch feels like fire on my skin, but my mind is so cloudy I can not process this foreign feeling. He waits a second, I think to see if I will pull away again and when I don't he looks down; my eyes still frozen on his face. His eyebrows pull together in irritation and he looks up at me. "Is there something you need to tell me?" Now I am confused as I am not sure why would he ask me that. He is still holding my wrist and it suddenly occurs to me that is what he is talking about, so I look down bring my other hand up to look at it. I have hit the bag so hard and so many times that my knuckles are bright red and a few have started bleeding. I guess I was so lost in thought, I didn't realize I was doing it. A dull ache in my hands sets in. I suppose the adrenaline pumping through me left my hands a little numb until now.

I pull my wrist away from him but at a slow pace and he lets go. I put my hands behind me, "I am fine. Just a lot on my mind." I try to say it as casual as possible but my voice comes out much lower than I wanted. "Well next time I suggest you use gloves." He doesn't seem mad, matter of fact he sounds almost understanding until he speaks up again with his cold instructor voice. "Your next class starts in five minutes, you need to get to class." I take a deep breath and I don't want my voice to betray me again so I just nod and go to walk away. I reach the door and suddenly he is right next to me again. "Wait." I turn my head and look at him. He pauses for a second and confusion crosses his face. "Make sure you stop by the nurse and get your hands looked at," and he turns away and walks away. Again he has left me confused why does he do that. Why does he care that my hands are cut up, I mean I guess it is kind of his job to make sure we are all ok, but again I don't need his overpowering need to treat me like a damn child. I can take care of myself.

* * *

I have been questioned a lot this afternoon about my hands from everyone except Jeff and Patrick. They know me well enough to understand sometimes I just need to let my frustrations out. I am actually surprised by how many people noticed to begin with, John being the first one to ask me about it. Each time I explained that I was ok but with a tone that said I didn't want to discuss it further. Mostly people got the hint. I never did go see the nurse since they really weren't too bad. Nothing I can't handle. We still have an hour before lights out and I decide to go for a walk. It is almost dark but it is a warm night and there is enough light to see where I am going. I sneak out while no one is paying attention to me.

I go to walk around the path but I notice Eric is out there running. I really don't want to talk to him right now. I decide to walk on the outside of the buildings parameter instead. As long as I stick close to them I will be well within the boarders. So I walk to back behind the buildings in the front of the property. I realize I forgot my Ipod but right now I really don't want to go back in the dorm to get it. I started to think about what happened today in the gym. It seems like Eric is at the forefront of my thoughts all the time these days. He was oddly quite during our knife throwing class this afternoon in which he was several minutes late for. Then he didn't show up for dinner; Paulo ended up getting my food for me even though I really wasn't hungry. I didn't think much of it except for someone who is so keen on making me eat, you would think he would not skip meals either.

And Four pulling me aside and warning me today. He almost sounds like it is a possibility that Eric would go to far. I suppose I really don't know him that well but I do not fear him as some of the others have admitted to. The feeling I get when I am around him is more of intense tension between us. Maybe he doesn't like that I am not intimidated by him as most are. I see how the others go out of their way to avoid him. That is why what Four said to me earlier was laughable at best. Eric is hard on everyone, not just me.

The sound of voices pulls me out of my thoughts. I am around the cabin side of the camp and one of the back windows is open. It is not my intention to ease drop but I hear Eric's name and my curiosity is peaked. I just freeze where I am and listen to them. I hear Paulo and Marlene inside talking.

"He is acting a little strange." Marlene says. "He came by earlier and told me that she should be stopping by and to tell him if she didn't, but he turned and left before I could question him. She never did by the way if you want to pass that along to him."

"He has been a bit off this camp. I think she is getting to him more than he likes. I haven't seen him show this much emotion in years. I am not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes he seems like such a robot, always cold and calculated, but lately he is more withdrawn than normal if that is even possible." _Who is the 'she' he talking about._ There is only four of us girls.

"I noticed that she is quite popular with the other cadets. She is a born leader. I think her personality type clashes with Eric because they have the same mindset. Tris told me she is pretty smart too. Maybe that is the problem, they are too alike."

"Lets not forget she is also kind of hot...Hey, you didn't need to hit me. I was just stating the facts. I know you see how those boys look at her. Maybe he is attracted to her, although that is a stretch, he doesn't really like anyone. I mean we hang out a bit but that is about it."

"I don't know, she seems to have some issues and those boys may like her but she clearly doesn't like them in that way. Unlike Leeann who is constantly throwing herself at them. It is like she has a barrier around her all the time, when people get to close she moves away." Her voice is full of distaste when she mentions Leeann's name. At least I am not the only one that thinks like that. "Hey you want another beer?" She ask and I hear her get up and move across the floor.

My head is spinning and I don't want to hear anymore so I continue on my walk. _Who are they talking about_. At first I thought maybe it was Leeann but that theory was shot down. They said someone who is a leader and Terrie and Tara are quiet and never speak out, which only leaves me . _Could they really be talking about me?_ Boys don't look at me all the time and I really don't think I am a leader at all. I look at my watch and I only have twenty more minutes and it is pretty dark now but I don't want to go back inside just yet. As I get to the last cabin I decide to sit against the side wall facing the dorms.

I stare up at the star still trying to understand what I heard. I don't know why they would say those things. Paulo saying Eric may be attracted to me is just impossible and I am convinced it is unlikely as he said. I am fairly certain he hates me. I am curious to what boys they are talking about that always look at me. Patrick and Jeff are like brothers and always look at me but that is their protective nature. I talk a lot to Mike, Huck and Royce especially when Patrick and Jeff aren't around but not in any other way but as friends. John seems like he has been trying to get closer to me lately but I am pretty sure it is because we have common interest. Steven and Joseph pretty much stick to Leeann's side so I am certain they either like her or Terrie or Tara who have also joined Leeann's little click. They must be interpreting things wrong.

The whole thing about keeping space between me and other's actually hits dead on. That is just me and it protects me. If people aren't close they can't touch me. Everyone has pretty much got that message and don't try to push it, well except Eric. I swear he pushes my boundaries just to make me upset, but it is different with him. It is like he wants me to get mad or irritated. He really does irritate the shit at me but there is something about him that I cannot put my finger on. When he is close to me, I lose my train of thought and all my senses become hyper-aware of him. The normal tightening isn't there but I find it hard to breath around him. He doesn't intimidate me but I feel...I don't know, nervous or something...it is just a weird vibe I get around him, something I have never felt before. It confuses the shit out of me and that makes me even more irritated.

I hear someone walking between the dorm and the cabin. It is barely light enough but I see Eric and he is shirtless and drenched in sweat. All I can do is stare as my breathing gets heavy at the sight of him. That man has the best looking body I have ever seen. He stops around back next to the instructors entrance and picks up a towel and I think a large bottle of water. He drinks a bunch and then pours the rest over his head. He puts the towel around his neck holding both ends and stares up into the sky. He must not know I am sitting here and I would really rather he didn't know I was sitting here staring. He stands there for a few more minutes looking into the sky like I just had been doing, then he looks at his watch and quickly dries himself off quickly as he goes inside.

 _Wow._ Despite his asshole nature he sure is mighty fine to look at. I momentary wonder if I will ever be able to deal with such strong arms around me, loving and comforting me. The thought saddens me because I really don't think so. I guess I shouldn't think of him that way anyway because I know that would never happen anyway, not with him. I look at my clock and see that I only have a few minutes so I get up and rush into the dorm, ignoring everyone's looks of wonder. I quickly dress for bed and lay down.

* * *

 **Well there you go another chapter in the book. Hope you all enjoyed it. Please feel free to comment and review, I would love to know what you think. I will continue to try to update several times a week. Until next time.**

 **(Music Credit: Break - Three Days Grace)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ok, here is the next one. Really hope you like it. Thanks again to all the reviews and views. You guys are truly awesome. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 12:**

 _(Thursday June 11th)_

I am woken by a noise. I look at my alarm and see it is 03:10. I see Mike up, fully dressed and tying on his shoes.

I sit up and he sees me. "You ok Mike?"

"I am fine, go back to bed." he whispers to me as he starts toward the dorm door.

"Where are you going?" He pauses to look at me. "I am tired of this place and so I am out. I have a friend over in Ellensberg that will come get me." I am not sure what to say to him but I really should try to stop him. "Mike, I don't think that is a good idea. They told us they have security measures." He smiles at me. "Come on, they just say that shit to scare us. Yeah, they may be able to track us but by the time they know I'm gone I will be able to get out of town and I will get this damn bracelet off." I really don't think they would make it that easy. "I donno, I won't say anything, but they give us a lot of breathing room here. I don't think they would do that if they weren't confident we wouldn't be able to get away."

"I will be alright." He thinks about it for a beat and shakes his head. "OK, well good luck." I say hesitantly. He slips out the door and I jump up and run over to watch him go through the window on the door. I have a bad feeling about this.

He gets about five feet from the front of the dorm and he stops. "Ouch," I hear him say and he rubs his wrist that has the tracker. I wonder what just happened. He recovers after 30 or 40 seconds and starts to run again but after only a few steps he slows down to a sluggish run and then starts swerving from side to side. He almost looks drunk. After stumbling a few more seconds he drops to his knees and then flops on his back.

 _Holy shit._ What the hell happened? Is he ok? Is he dead? I try to look closely but it is hard to see and I am not sure but his chest isn't moving. I want to go check but I don't want that to happen to me. Obviously they were not lying. The tracker must have something in it and they must have been serious about the security measures. They wouldn't kill him would they? I mean none of our offenses are terrible or nothing. I am so freaked out right now. I see two figures run around the corner and slow to a walk. Both men are wearing only pants and I think it is Eric and Four. They must have been alerted somehow and jumped out of bed to respond.

"There is always one." Four says. "Surprised it took this long though, usually it happens the first week."

"Check his pulse." Eric demands. I see Four bend down and hold his fingers to his neck. "He is good. Worked like a charm, as always." Four stands up. "Lets get him to the infirmary and you can go get Marlene." Eric says and they bend down to pick him up together.

"Why can't it ever be a girl, they are so much lighter." Four complains. "Stop whining you pussy. Lets just get this done. I am going to have to start early today now." I see them walk off with Mike, one holding his arms and one holding his legs.

I see them go and when they are out of sight the fear sets in. I can't believe I just saw that. I am not even sure I know what I saw. I look down at my bracelet and wonder what could possibly be in it. I try to feel under it but it is pretty tight. I manage to get my pinky under it and I feel around. I pause when I get to the under side of my wrist. There is a small hole there. There must be a needle inside that injects us with something, but what. Fuck what did I get myself into this time.

I slowly go back to my bed and sit back against my headboard with my arms wrapped around my legs and I lay my head on my knees. I really hope he is ok. Mike is a good guy and doesn't deserve to die or anything like that. This place is fucking cruel. A single tear stains my cheek.

Eric walks in, closing the door quietly and I look up. I am not sure how long I have been sitting here just staring at nothing trying to keep my mind empty so I don't have to process what happened, but my bottom is numb and hurts so it must have been a while. He stops at the end of my bed and I look at him. I want to cry but I don't want to give this cold bastard the satisfaction. It is bad enough I cannot keep the fear off of my face. He stares into my eyes and it calms me the slightest bit. He looks down for a second and whispers coldly, "He will be fine." He looks at me quickly and then turns and walks into the bathroom. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and relief floods into me.

Thank God it wasn't as bad as I feared, but I still wonder how bad it is. The clock reads 04:25 and I know I cannot fall back asleep. I lay my head down on my knees again with a sense of relief but I am still worried and scared. It occurs to me that he just implied I knew what was going on. How did he know I saw it? My eyes are drawn to the red dot in the corner of the room. _Cameras!_ They must have cameras in all of the rooms. I have seen that light in the bathroom too. He must have checked to make sure no one else was going to try to escape. Funny that doesn't really make me feel safer. It feels like an invasion of my privacy, but it isn't like they don't do that in Juvy too. I just can't believe it took me so long to figure it out. I had seen that red dot before but I really didn't put two and two together.

I am still lost in thought when the alarms go off. I get up in without really thinking about what I am doing and decide to just throw on a pants, and a sweater. I am making my bed when Huck ask, "Where's Mike." I am still not 100% sure what happened or what I should say but I am going to have to say something. "I will tell you after P.T." I see concern on Jeff's face as he looks me up and down. "Is he ok?" Jeff ask. "I really hope so," is all I could say. I finish up making my bed and tell Patrick to make his and we head out the door.

I look up and I stop dead in my tracks.

Mike is already standing in formation. He looks completely fine. Whatever they did he recovered from it quickly. I am so shocked I don't even notice that Huck has tugged on my wrist. "You ok?" I shake my yes and look at his hand in which he immediately withdrawals his hand. "Sorry. You just looked a little dazed there." I go and line up and try to clear my head.

The instructors are on him hard today. "We boring you cadet?", "Get your feet up higher!", "Get up faster!", "Your feet seemed fine earlier!"

I understand that they all know what he did, not just Eric and Four and they all seem irritated with it. They pretty much don't pay attention to the rest of us at all. The guys in our dorm keep looking over to Mike and then back at me. I just shake my head and see the others notice as they stare at Mike too. I guess this is the price you pay for breaking the rules.

When we are done, everyone is dismissed except Mike. Eric escorts him over to the pathway and makes him start jogging. I shake my head again and go back inside. Everyone from both dorms is standing there and my eyes widen. "What?"

John takes a step toward me getting too close for comfort. "Come on, we already know you know what happened, so just tell us." It is no use, I might as well. " I walk over and sit on my bed and everyone spreads out on the various beds sitting to listen to my story. John follows me and sits at the end of my bed making me feel a little better that he didn't choose to sit real close. I begin to describe what happened this morning. Including everything I saw and heard. I also included the bit about thinking the red light is a camera.

John gets up and I tell him where I see it in our room. The light isn't there during the day but he goes over to the corner of the room that sits a few feet to the left of the bathroom door. He pulls over the chair from the desk and stands on it running his fingers along the wall stopping when he feels something. He looks closer, "Your right, it is pretty small but there are two small lenses here. One is probably the camera for day and the other is likely night vision." He jumps down. "Well at least we know."

We continue to talk about what happened and I am glad to know everyone is about as freaked out as I am. When we go to breakfast, Mike is still jogging with Eric pacing him pounding out insults. I guess he doesn't get to eat although I would surprised by that after what happened to me. We all eat pretty much in silence. Eric really is a piece of work, and I feel really bad for Mike. I have been lucky enough not to have to deal with Eric much since Monday other than this morning. He is doing that keeping to himself thing again which makes it a lot easier for me not to get into trouble. I wonder if he thinks I had anything to do with the thing with Mike. I really hope not because I don't need is attitude right now. It really sucks because I want to talk to Mike but I am not sure if he will be in class. He was still running when we went back to the dorm to ready for classes.

* * *

I wasn't able to talk to Mike in our first class because it was Self Defense and Eric brought Mike in just as class started. I didn't want to push my luck and we worked individually today practicing hitting key pressure points on specialized body shaped punching bags. When we are finally dismissed I pull Mike with me outside.

"What the hell happened?" He looks down in frustration. "I don't know. The last thing I remember is being poked in the wrist by my tracker and that was it. Next thing I knew I was in the infirmary, with an irritated nurse who apparently doesn't like to get woken up so early. Right before 05:00, Eric shows up looking beyond pissed and telling me I will regret it and he brought me out to P.T."

"So did you get to eat breakfast?" I ask calmly. "Kind of. Eric gave me a egg burrito and a bottle of water that he gave me 60 seconds to eat it right before class." Well thank goodness. At least Eric had a little sense but I still am irritated with him. You would think what Mike already had to go through would have been enough. "At least it is over." I tell him starting toward our next class.

His eyes pull together and he looks down. Immediately I know it isn't it. "What?" I ask exasperated. "Well I have to meet him in the court yard after classes are over both this morning and this afternoon." You have got to be kidding me. Didn't Eric get a clue when he ran me into the ground. "Geez, I am sorry. Just hang in there, it can't last forever." I sit down next to him and Tris starts talking about Shakespeare so I turn to pay attention in class.

* * *

We are walking to our first afternoon class and I walk past the middle of the court yard where Eric is sitting watching Mike jog slowly yelling at him to pick it up. Eric looks me up at me and them back to Mike. I feel so bad for him. The day is only half over and he looks burnt out and Eric just sits there. As we get to the door to the gym, Eric calls Mike over handing him a water bottle and I am assuming some kind of food. I walk into class and wait. Today is knife throwing with Fours class. Four is already got the tables set up and Eric walks in behind us.

Four talks about technique a bit before he tells us to practice. I am next to Mike and his knives are all over the place. He must really be exhausted. I whisper to Mike, "Come on Mike I know you can do this. If you don't try harder Eric is going to notice." Mike throws another one putting a little more energy into it but it hits handle first on the very edge of the target and bounces half way back. Within seconds Eric is right behind him. "That was pathetic cadet. This is your fourth class and you still can't get the knife to stick?!" Eric yells at him. Mike drops his shoulders even lower. "I am exhausted, I don't have much strength left."

"I don't want to hear your damn excuses. You were so brave this morning thinking you could sneak out of here. You don't look so brave now you damn coward."

"I am not a coward." Mike's voice is small and I am hoping Eric didn't hear him but the look that is materializing on Eric's face says he did. "Is that so cadet." He looks down right pissed. "Class...knives down." We all stop throwing and lay our knives down. "Well lets test that theory. Go stand in front of your target. Four!" Four steps up next to Eric looking upset. I take it he isn't happy about this, but he doesn't look surprised. Horror crosses Mike's face. "Move cadet!" Eric shouts even louder and Mike resigns him self and goes in front of the target. "You will stand there cadet while Four throws those knives. If you flinch, you will have another day of extra running." Now I am shocked beyond belief.

"You can't be serious." I tell him before I can stop myself and both he and Four turn toward me. Four has shock on his face but Eric looks more annoyed. I shouldn't be pushing him but this is ludicrous. "You will hold your tongue cadet." Eric's voice is suddenly low and raspy. I have really pissed him off now but I can't let this happen. I should have stopped Mike this morning, this is partially my fault. "Standing in front of that target doesn't prove he isn't a coward. Cowards refuse to put themselves in dangerous situations, just by standing there he's proved he isn't a coward."

"Is that a fact." He pauses and just before he speaks Four interrupts him. "How about this, he doesn't flinch and his afternoon running is excused, if not he runs tomorrow." I know Four is trying to give Mike something to work for. Eric looks at him, "I out rank you and you will do what you are told."

Four shakes his head, "Hey, I was just trying to make it interesting."

I look at Mike and his eyes tell me everything I need to know. He isn't going to be able to stand still. "I want to take his place, he is too exhausted to make this fair." They both turn and look at me again, but this time they are both shocked. Several emotions flash across Eric's face at once. He looks at Four then back at me shaking his head slightly. "I have a better plan." A tight smile emerges on his face and my stomach drops. _What did I just do._ "This is how it is going to work. You and Mike will stand in front of those targets with Four in front of Mike and myself in front of you. We will throw three knives, the one who is more accurate wins. If Four wins, I will let Mike out of his afternoon run, if I win you will both run after P.T. tomorrow. If you refuse, he will run all day tomorrow regardless." He looks expectantly at me.

My heart is racing but there is no way I am backing down now and giving Eric the satisfaction. He wants to see if I am selfless as I appear to be. I think he really believes I would back out. So I turn and head for the target, "Fine."

I turn and see John's face and I know he is going to try to intervene but I got myself into this mess. I don't need anyone to come save me. As he takes a step toward Eric, I give him a hard look and shake my head ever so slightly no. He pauses and Eric looks at him looking almost as if he wants him too. When John doesn't continue, he turns back toward me. "Alright, feet shoulder width apart and hands behind your back just above your ass." We both adjust ourselves and I whisper to Mike, "Be brave."

"I will throw first. Closest to outside of right knee." Eric stares at me with his cold eye and I feel the normal cloudiness start to set in. I barely noticed he has thrown it until I hear the thud and I look down at the knife that is damn near touching my knee and a smile spreads across his face. I watch Four and then glance at Mike. He squeezes his eyes shut and Four throws. It hit outside of Mike's knee but Eric's is closer.

"Come on Four, you are not even going to try." Four looks irritated but doesn't say anything. "Alright second one closest to the left elbow." He breaths deeply and focuses himself. Then his gaze finds mine again and he holds it. I am lost in his eyes when I hear the knife thuds close to my elbow but not as close as the last one. Four smiles and Mike closes his eyes again. Four throws his knife and it is almost touching Mikes elbow.

"Looks like we are tied." Four smirks. Their casual banter makes me believe this is something that happens often. Recalling Four's warning earlier this week makes my breaths become shallow. "Fine, last throw, right ear." Eric smirks and my eyes close in fear. "Oh no Danielle. Eyes open and if I were you I would hold very still." My eyes fly open and meet his. He is not going to make this easy on me. His face gets very serious. He stares deep into my eyes and I loose focus of everything in the room except him. His eyes change for just an instant and I hear the thud loud against my ear. There is barely millimeters between my ear and knife. _Damn_ , I think Eric is going to win this and the smirk on his face indicates he believes it too. Four shakes his head. "Stand still Mike." He tells him and Mike closes his eyes once more. Four throws the knife and Mike swears and his hand shoots up to his ear. I look over and she a small bead of blood on his ear. Four turns toward Eric, "Well Eric, looks like I won." He smiles. "You never said we can't draw blood."

Eric looks pissed again. "Four finish up class." He turns and walks out glancing at me before he goes through the door. I turn to Mike. "You ok." Four comes up beside us and removes Mike's hand from his ear. "It is just a little scratch you will be fine." Fours says. "Seriously, you just cut me." Mike says, his pride obviously wounded. "Be thankful you little shit, I just got you out of another day of torcher, in which, you willing let your friend be offered up to join you, you selfish asshole." He turns to me, "and what did I tell you." I am at a loss of words. Everyone else is staring at me now as well. He turns and walks away. "All of you get back to practicing." he stands against the wall focusing on the knife he still has in his hand taking deep breaths.

Several people are still looking at me like they want an explanation. "What he warned me not to push Eric that he can be cruel. You would all be well to remember that as well." I glance over to Four and he has a half smile on his face even though he is still looking down. I walk back to my spot and everyone else mimics me. I start throwing my knives trying to focus on it.

After class Mike came up and thanked me while several other told me I was crazy. I just smiled at then but my mind was on Eric was going to react to what just happened in class.

* * *

It has been and interesting and exhausting day. I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling listening to music up as loud as it goes drowning out the world trying to clear my mind before lights out. The next song comes on and I close my eyes and focus on the dark as I tap my foot to the music.

 _You love the way I look at you,_

 _while taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through,_

 _you take away, if give in, my life, my pride is broken._

 _You like to think you're never wrong,_

 _you live what you've learned,_

 _You have to act like you're someone,_

 _you live what you've learned,_

 _You want someone to hurt like you,_

 _you live what you've learned,_

 _You want to share what you've been through,_

 _you live what you've learned._

 _You love the things I say I'll do,_

 _the way I'll hurt myself again just to get back at you,_

 _you take away, when I give in, my life, my pride is broken._

I yank my ear buds out of ears. The damn song is making me think of the very person I am trying to forget right now. Jeff looks at me with a raised eye. "You realize you were humming that right?" I roll my eyes and I feel the my cheeks get warm. "Hey I don't mind, you ain't bad, I have always told you that. Besides that is an awesome song." I am too fucking distracted lately.

"He is right you know. On both accounts." Huck adds his two cents and I am completely uncomfortable, but thankful they are the only two in the room. Well, Mike is in the room but he is already asleep and everyone else is off somewhere else. It is almost lights out so I hurry out of the room to brush my teeth.

I take my time brushing my teeth and splash water on my face, praying for some restful sleep after today's events. I walk back in the room and everyone has return since lights out is any minute. I lay in my bed and the lights go out.

"Goodnight our fearless and brave leader."

"Fucking shut up Patrick." I tell him.

Everyone laughs and say good night.

* * *

I wake up covered in sweat. I knew this would happen and I fucking hate those dreams. This time it was a little different because all I heard was the thud of the knives next to me. It is dark and I can't see anything. Then the thuds morph and hear boots walking across the room and I know what is coming. I try to shake off the tightening in my chest. The clock shows it is just before midnight. I get up and go into the bathroom to use the toilet even though I really don't need to I just need to get up and move. I wash my hands and lean on the sink. I really wish I could control this, what I wouldn't give to sleep without dreams.

I splash some water on my face and take deep breaths to wash off the remaining nausea I am feeling. I feel him before I see him. I stand up straight and my head almost hits his face he is so close to me without actually touching me. I stare at Eric in the mirror and he has a half smile on his face and his eyes don't leave mine. "The fearless and brave leader not so brave and fearless in her dreams." I am frozen in place wondering what the hell he is talking about.

Suddenly I remember before bed and realize he must have seen it. "Can you say stalker?" I say but my voice is not as strong as I intended, seeming small compared to his smooth voice. "What are you saying you don't like it." I nod no not trusting my voice. His lip twitches. "I think your lying to me."

He looks down at my shoulder and moves his fingers down my arm as close as possible without touching it. "hmmm yeah, your are lying to me." I close my eyes trying to control my breathing. I feel him pull the hair back off my neck but I can't bring myself to open my eyes. I feel him lean in close to my ear. "Better get to bed before trouble finds you." His voice is so hot against my ear as he lingers for just a second and then I suddenly feel a cold breeze and all his warmth is gone. I open my eyes and he is gone. I hold the sink trying to regain my center. How the hell did he do that? It the most intense feeling. Something so strong, I have never felt before.

I walk back to bed and lay down still a little dazed. I see the red light out of the corner of my eye and I turn to stare at it. I just know he is watching me trying to get myself under control. He did that on purpose to break me, and that he did. I am suddenly pissed off. I know he doesn't actually have feelings for me so why work me up like that. It is truly cruel. On the other hand I have never been able to let a guy touch me like that and not freak out. Even Patrick and Jeff have to be careful about how and when they touch me. But what just happened...I don't even know. I was so caught up in the moment, I didn't have time to panic. It was almost liberating and for that I am actually grateful.

"Thank you," I whisper still staring at the camera and then I turn over and cry myself to sleep, not out of anger but out of equal parts of joy and sadness because it felt truly joyous to be freed from my fears, even if it was only a few moments, but saddening that it will likely never happen again.

* * *

 **There it is. So what did you think? I know it was just a teaser sorry. The next chapter is going to be Eric's POV. Hope you guys liked it, comments and reviews are welcome. Until next time.**

 **(Music Credit: Point of Authority - Linkin Park)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Ok. Here is one from Eric's POV. I really hope you like it and understand his inner struggle. Also thank again for everyone that is reading this story. I couldn't be happier that so many people are reading it and thank you to everyone commenting/reviewing. This one is a little shorter but I will make up for it. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 13:**

 _(Friday June 12th)_

 **Eric POV**

 _Fucking Hell!_ Looking at her on the camera I try to process the words she just whispered. I am completely confused now.

Confused seems to become the norm lately. I shake my head thinking about the last few weeks. My emotions the last few weeks have been all over. I do not like that. It makes me seem weak and it all steams from her. I have spent years building up my walls to keep my emotions under control. I have always had so much anger in me. Angry at my father for never showing me love and always pushing me to be the best no matter what it cost. At my mother for always being exactly like him. At my older brother for always being better than me at everything, gaining all the praise from my parents and throwing it in my face. I never heard the words 'sweetie' or 'love' or 'good job', it was always, 'not good enough', 'man up', 'your not trying', 'only the best is acceptable in this house'. At one point my father made it clear that I was worthless and a mistake because my mother birth control failed. All I ever knew was I had to be perfect at everything I do.

That is why my job is so perfect for me. This job takes someone committed, someone who understands, someone who doesn't take any shit for little runts that got themselves in trouble and now have to pay the price. I did my time. For a while I had let my anger get out of hand. Every once in a while I would get into a fight at school but it was never real bad and I usually let the kid beat me up because the physical pain helped numb the emotional pain; that was until the last time it happened. I ended up putting a boy from school in the hospital for teasing me. He had been picking on me for years because I was that quiet, smart kid that others picked on, but that day I just snapped. It took a group of people to pull me off of him and that was before I learned to fight. That was when I realized I had a problem holding it all inside, although, I still believe the kid deserved.

These kids are usually all the same as I was and when they leave here, I have usually taught them what it means to work hard and control themselves so they can be affective in society. But she, she is different. She is a conundrum. She is strong, a leader, smart and a smart ass, but there is something she keeps deep inside her that I am still trying to figure out. She insist on constantly pushing me and I have made it a point to push her back, sometimes a little to hard. Most people only push me once and learn their lesson but not her and what is worse, is this girl has no sense of self preservation.

When I made her run last week, I was shocked that she passed out on me. I noticed she didn't eat much, but I never expected her to push herself that far and I sure didn't like the gut wrenching feeling I got seeing her collapsed in my arms. So many emotions crossed my mind. I felt like I failed as instructor, I should have known her limits, it is my job and Marlene, Max and even Four, was sure to point that shit out to me. Part of our jobs is to protect the cadets and what I did was dangerous, but I let the need to teach her a lesson get in the way of common sense. I actually felt fear that she was not going to be ok. Sitting there just watching her lay on that bed, the IV in her arm, I felt like I would break if she didn't wake up. To be responsible for hurting a person that way, especially her, I couldn't have that shit on my head and I didn't like that feeling. I had to take several trips to the gym that day to work off my frustration.

It isn't even just that. I feel so damn protective of her and I have no idea why. Ever since that day in self defense class, the look she gave me, it reached something deep inside me. I don't like these feelings but I also am having a hard time bring them to heel. Just when I think I have them controlled, she pulls the shit like today. I admire her courage but the way she puts herself in danger for others is not smart. She is truly selfless but that is dangerous. I really didn't think she was going to step up to that target and again she proved me wrong; it pissed me off. I knew I wouldn't actually hurt her, but for just a moment before I threw that first knife I thought about cutting her knee just to teach her a lesson. Then I looked in her eyes and I knew I couldn't do it.

It took all myself control to throw that knife on target because when she looked at me I really didn't want to throw it at her and it started to show when that second knife was several inches from her elbow. I think Four knew it too, egging me on like he was. We had done this many times before, mostly so I could prove a point to a mouthy cadet or to teach someone a lesson. Four's skill is damn near equal to mine but when I went to the last knife I had begun to lose it. My composure was breaking as my protective nature for her grew, but I couldn't show Four that she had any affect on me.

Having her look in my eyes wasn't only for her but for me as well. I knew that she freezes when she looks into my eyes, almost as if she is lost and I needed her as still as possible. I was also able to focus better too. Those deep green eyes seem to calm me a bit, my mind was able to clear and see the point I needed to hit. It was as if we were the only two in the room as I released the knife and it hit exactly on point. I slowly let out a breath of relief being sure no one would notice and I felt pride because I was fairly certain I would win this time.

There was no way Four was getting closer than that, but then he did. In my haste trying to get her to back down and then my irritation that she didn't, I forgot to say 'no drawing blood' and Four exploited my mistake. _Fucking bastard_. He won and I hate to lose. I had to get her back for making me look bad. It had to be calculated and in the right circumstances. When I seen her get out of bed and everyone else was asleep including my dorm I knew it was my chance.

I had put my paperwork aside and went to surprise her. I knew exactly how to rile her up and it would also answer a question that had been burning in my head. I have been watching her, the way she looks at me, I try to stay away from her a lot to avoid my continual internal conflict, but I still watch. I even noticed on one of the camera's that I was reviewing earlier this week, she had seen me finish one of my runs. She probably didn't know the camera was there but I knew someone was watching me which is why I checked and I was right. I had been shirtless and it actually made me smile the look on her face as she stared at me. It occurred to me she also saw me staring at the stars, something I still love to do although i would never tell anyone that.

When I had entered the bathroom, she had her face down near the faucet and my plan formed. I went to stand near her, but when she stood up feeling my presents and I looked into her eyes it took everything I had not turn turn her around and place my lips on hers. Those beautiful green eyes locked on my own and made me feel something I couldn't explain. I tried to clear my head and had teased her to cover up my emotions. After the words exited my mouth an errant after thought formed that she has bad dreams and my choice of words may not have been a good idea to use as a joke, but she doesn't seem to think about that.

It took her a moment to connect the dots that I had been listening earlier. She was humming a Linkin Park song that I know well. Although it confused me when she tore her buds out of her ears looking pissed off. Then her friend had told her that she was humming and she seemed to look embarrassed for some reason. I had gotten the impression she doesn't like to sing in front of people when I saw her coming out of the shower looking embarrassed, but I really don't know why because she has a nice voice. Apparently humming is a no-go too.

Then she implied I was a stalker and she has not idea that I had told myself the same thing that night I calmed her from her dream. I was glad she definitely took the joke and returned it but her voice was a bit off.

I have figured out that she automatically reacts to people touching her, but I have been able to do it just a bit and several occasions without her pulling away like the day I had pressed my leg against her in the mess haul to see her reaction. I was surprised she just stayed there as it was not her normal reaction, but it did please me she paused in surprise. Or when I went to the gym to work out my frustration and she was there pounding away at the bag. I leaned back against the wall to watch her. Her form really was getting better and she but she seem really pissed about something, but then I noticed she hadn't put on her gloves. I usually always where gloves unless I am really pissed.

I found myself wondering what could have made her so mad and it occurs to me, it may be me. I had pushed her in P.T. that morning. She is strong but I thought she needed a little push to work through her pain. I was trying to help her. I knew that by getting her to look at me she would forget the burn and push through the exercise. I suppose part of it was also that I like to look into her eyes.

When she finally seen me watching her punching away she stopped. I thought she would be finished or say something, but she just gave me an odd look and was about to start at it again, so I stopped her. I tried to check to see how bad her hands were and at first she jerked away, but then I went to my go-to tool with her and got her to look at me and I was able to take her wrist and access the damage. She had beaten her hands raw to the point a few were bleeding and she hadn't even noticed it. How could she not notice? When I do this shit it is to feel the pain because it is calming. As she began to leave I had an urge to go clean up her hands to make sure she was ok, but I knew I couldn't. These feelings that keep rising up have to be controlled.

I wanted to push her to irritate her but I also was curious if this control I had over her, was due to some misplaced feelings she had toward me. An unmentionable thought that this might be why, but I couldn't figure out how she could possibly feel anything but anger toward me. As it turned out, I was right. I pressed her, teasing her and when she shook her head no, I was absolutely sure she was lying and I was actually happy about that. I could almost hear her heart beat as I moved my hand down her arm, her breathing had changed and she closed her eyes maybe trying to calm herself, as a foreign, intense pull appeared in my chest.

She actually likes me and as much as I didn't want to admit it, I want her too. I had been such a jerk to her and yet she still likes me, something I had never seen and can't begin to understand. Without thinking I had pulled her hair back off her neck wanting to feel her beautiful skin on my lips. I could give her such pleasure if she would let me and I really wanted to. To feel her naked warm beneath myself, to see what she looks like as her orgasm explodes inside her. I had felt myself twitch at my wayward thoughts. _Fuck._ Just the thought is almost too much.

 _STOP THIS NOW!_ My internal voice screamed and I stopped myself just in time. I looked up at us in the mirror, I am grateful she hadn't seen my face full of lust. It isn't right, she's a cadet, she's still seventeen, this is illegal, at least for a few more weeks until she turns eighteen.

But it isn't just that. I can't have feelings for this girl, I can't. It is not in my DNA to care for others. My feelings are purely lust and nothing more and she doesn't deserve to be hurt that way. I whispered in her ear a warning and giving her one last look, then left. I watched her get back in bed and then turn and look at the camera. She must have known I was watching. Then she whispered a saddened, 'Thank you' and my gut dropped to the floor. _What the hell was that!_ Her words were full sadness and she had a sad smile on her face. I am confused as hell, I don't get it. She turned over and after a few minutes I could hear very quite sniffles. Watching her more closely I was very certain she was crying. What the hell did I just do to her? _I fucked up again_! Story of my life.

I sit there watching her and after a bit her breaths even out and her sniffles die away. She must have fallen asleep. Not really knowing why, I go into the dorm. I am glad to see she really is asleep as I would be at a loss to what to say if she was awake. I just really wanted to see her in person and my emotions got the best of me. Her cheeks are stained with tears and despite my cold heart, I feel bad. I sit on the edge of her desk and watch her. She is so strong but at the same time she has this fear that make her so weak. Some how I just know that is the source of her pain. Pain I exploited for my own gain. I make up my mind. I have to figure out what it is. It would be easy if I was able to access her counseling sessions but they are confidential and I don't have access to that. That just means I will have to be more cleaver to find out. She needs help and I will be the one to help her, but she needs to realize I am not the one for her. I don't have a heart. Love is not in my vocabulary.

I look over on her night table and I have been sitting here for almost and hour. I need some sleep. I get up but before I go I pull the back section of her hair that has fallen over her face. She smiles and mutters my name. For a moment I think I have woken her and I freeze, but her breaths are still even, her eyes are closed, and she doesn't move. When I am convinced she is just talking in her sleep again, I go back to my bed. I can't say I am not curious to why I am in her dream. I may have to figure that out as well.

I gather up my paperwork and put it on my desk deciding to finish it tomorrow, it is already late. It isn't like the other guys here ever get their paperwork done on time anyway. I turn off the music player that is still playing and put my headphones away. I had been listening to her playlist that is still saved on my tablet, she really does have good taste in music. I have gotten rather attached to the two songs she downloaded and have wondered if she relates to them as I do to the music that I listen to. Laying down I turn toward the tablet. I need to figure out the best way to do this. If I push her to hard, it may be to much for her, but if I to soft, people will notice. I try to focus on her steady breaths and clear my mind. The word 'stalker' crosses my thoughts and a smile spreads across my face as I fall asleep.

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 **So what do you think. You kind of got a little of his back story and his thoughts. I hope everything didn't seem to jumbled, this chapter came out of my head so quick because I have always had what was going on with him as I write Dani's story. I had a few more things to add in but I just couldn't make it flow right so maybe I will find another time to add it. Let me know what you think. Of course comments and reviews are appreciated Until next time!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Ok. Originally I wrote this and the next chapter together but it was way too long so this day is split between two chapters.**

 **Things start to get deep in this chapter and I want to reiterate this is a strong M rating.**

 **Thanks again for all the review and comments. They are always awesome. I hope you like it. Enjoy.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

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 **Chapter 14:**

 _(Sunday June 21st)_

I look at the date on today's schedule and I realize my birthday is a week away. I don't know if I should be happy or sad. Legally I will be an adult but on the other hand I am stuck here with nothing to do and no way to celebrate. This sucks! At least I managed to stay out of the bottom of the rankings this week. My little stunt the week before had resulted in mess haul duty and bathroom cleaning. I guess they couldn't ignore my mouth anymore. It really sucks cleaning up after a bunch of guys and I really did not wanting to go through that again. I made it a point to behave this week which really wasn't too hard since I didn't have Eric pushing me so much and nothing really happened. I didn't get the top two but that's ok with me. I was, however, happy for Jeff who did get into the top two today.

I wait for the guys to finish up and we walk to breakfast. We go in and Eric is already sitting, my food is in front of my normal seat. I sit down and start eating, not waiting for the others. This last week has been a bit weird. Since our little encounter in the bathroom, Eric hasn't said more than two words to me at a time. Although I do catch him looking at me often. Many times he is off behind everyone just looking at me pulling on the side of his lip.

I have been processing an array of emotions this last week as well. Denial, anger, joy, sadness, and acceptance. I feel like I am getting over a damn addiction. His withdrawn attitude tells me what he did was out of pure revenge. He sure knows how hit my core, but it still doesn't explain his distant actions this last week or why he keeps staring at me like he is solving a complicated puzzle. He's even went a little easier on everyone else but not by much. I wonder if he is trying to figure out another way to torture me.

I feel stupid for feeling the way I did. I would have said it was all lust but after that night, I realized that wasn't the case. When I had went back to bed and cried myself to sleep, I dreamt of him. I heard the boots again but before they could reach me Eric was there beside me. He pushed my hair out of my face and I felt his warmth and calmness, almost like he was my protector. It was a stupid thought, it was a stupid dream. After that I fell into a deep dreamless sleep. I was so groggy the next morning I actually had a hard time getting out of bed. Not to mention trying to figure out if the night before really actually happened. That was put to rest quickly when I had gotten out to P.T. and Eric looked at me with a sly smile before putting on his instructor facade.

I had thought about talking to him but I could never find the guts to do it and what would I say anyway? 'Hey your hot and I like you.' Seriously, he is my instructor and there is no way he did what he did out of anything other than to get back at me.

To rub it in more, at every single meal this last week he presses his leg against my own and watches my reaction. I have learned to stop freezing every time he does it but at first it was like a slap in the face bringing back all the feelings from that night. I just hope one day I can find someone whom I can let this close. For now I have just learned to accept it and enjoy the closeness even if it is one sided. I am startled from my thoughts by Eric's voice.

"You know I am surprised you haven't asked to download some more music on your IPod. You could probably fit another fifty or so songs on that thing." He says causally like it is something he has expected me to do. I remember he told John he could get more books but it never occurred to me to get more music. "I didn't know that was a choice." I say mimicking his tone. I am shocked that he said a complete sentence to me for the first time in more than a week. "You can come by after lunch if you like." I get a sour look on my face as I wonder what his plan is this time.

His voice suddenly gets so low we are the only ones that can hear. "I promise to behave." He says and then gets up and leaves the mess haul leaving me shocked yet again. My mind start pounding through the 'yes or no' outcomes. I am not sure whether or not I should go. Something tells me this is a trap but part of me wants to go and see. Not to mention, I really could use some more music. I've thought of some more I would really like to download, but I don't want to think about it now. I will decide later.

I go get my Ipod and homework and go to the courtyard to work on it as does everyone else. We have been pretty lucky to have nice weather almost the whole time we have been here. It has rained a few nights and cloudy on a few days but that's it. It's also nice and warm everyday no matter what the weather which how I like it. I never did like Chicago's weather. I heard it's usual for nice up here during the summer but it is unusual for the nice weather to start this early in the summer.

I find a spot on the soft grass and settle in. I have and a date with the shrink right before lunch and I am not looking forward to it. Last week she managed to touch the very surface of my anger issues and it is only a matter of time before she gets me to say the reason behind it. Damn straight I am going to do my best not to have to tell her. I have put it behind me and the last thing I want is to have to talk about it. Not wanting to think about that either, I turn up my music and lose myself in my work.

A shadow peers over me and I look up to see Eric looking at me expectantly. I pull out my buds and he squats down next to me, resting my his elbows on his thighs so he is now almost eye level with me. "I won't be at lunch today, you can dish yourself up. I am giving you a little freedom so don't give me a reason to not do it again." I am delighted and I can't help myself, "So would you consider letting me dish up every meal?" I smile sweetly at him hoping he will see my natural charm and give into my request." He gets what is almost a smile on his face. "Lets try this meal for now, I can't let you get a way too quickly." He gets up and leaves as I roll my eyes, at least I tried. I look at my watch and see I only have a few minutes so I get up and go to my session with the shrink.

I go drop my stuff off on my desk and head over to the classrooms. When I get there, I go in and sit down. She really is a nice person but I dislike the fact that I know her goal. I try to be nice.

"Hi Dani. Good to see you again." I give her a tight smile. "Hello."

"So how was your week?" I think about it for a moment. "Actually it was ok. I didn't get in any trouble." She jots something down and then looks at me again. "I want to pickup where we left off last week. We have established that one of your triggers is touching." I just nod my head. I really don't want to talk about this. "So can you describe what exactly happened the last time that ended in you being sentenced to here. I specifically want to know your thoughts and feelings during the incident." I roll my eyes because this is in the police report except my feelings on it. The cops weren't to keen on asking my feelings when I was arrested, but at least I can draw this out a bit to cover the session and I can avoid getting closer to the inevitable. I begin at the beginning of the school day and the gossip that had been going around.

When I finished she pondered her next question for a moment, "So what actually bothered you more, the gossip or the fact that he actually touched you." Shit. Here we go. "Him touching me."

"And is there anyone you don't mind touching you." My mind immediately pictures Eric. I take a deep breath. "A few of my really close friends, and my family." I don't want to go into why I can handle Eric touching me because really, I am not completely sure myself. "And that's it?" Her eyebrow is raised suggesting she doesn't believe me. Crap. I just nod my head not wanting to answer out loud.

"Okay." I can tell she still doesn't believe me but it occurs to me that she may not think I am lying about another person rather she is in disbelief that I only allow a few people to touch me. That can't possibly be a rare condition.

She is about to ask another question and I look at my watch. "Well looks like time is up." I jump up smiling that I made it yet another week. I give her a smile and walk out as she shakes her head and writes down something.

I hurry back to the court yard where everyone is wrapping up their work for lunch. "How'd it go?" John ask. "It was ok. Just talking about a bunch of shit I don't care about." He laughs. "I know how you feel."

Jeff walks out of the dorm with a red IPod. "You got it already huh?" I ask him. "Yep, just finished downloading the music. It was pretty easy, I just copied your play list and added a few more bands." He has a huge smile on his face that is contagious. I smile back and I grab his arm and we walk to lunch.

When we get into the lunchroom I follow them to the line. Jeff gives me a curious look, "I am on probation for lunch. Apparently prince charming has other obligations." The guys around me laugh and we get our food. We get chicken salad for lunch with fruit, one of my favorite things that is served here. It turns out that the food here is actually really good other than the ridiculous amount of protein we eat, but it sure has done something for my figure. My stomach has began to show muscle and is much more lean than it use to be. In fact my whole body has changed a bit, from my arms and shoulders down to my calves are all much more defined. I can only imagine what I will look like at the end of the four months.

I see now why all the instructors are so fit. Even the other staff members join our P.T. in the morning minus the instructors in their face. They just fall in behind us; often I don't notice them until we finish up. The girls seem to walk around the path a lot as well and I am always seeing people in and out of the gym or walking up the trails. If I wasn't a cadet here I would say this place really isn't a bad place to be.

We are sitting around eating and everyone is talking about playing a soccer game after dinner. Huck managed to get in the top last week and choose sports entertainment. The guys have been throwing the football around all week. Soccer sounds fun since it is mostly a non-contact sport. I agree to play, I used to play when I was younger and I was pretty good at it. I have what my coach called a 'big foot'.

After lunch we all fall back into the court yard. They are still talking about the game that we are planning later on and almost everyone is playing and they are getting excited giving me an idea. I excuse myself and go to Max's office where I am happy to find he's there. "Max sir do you have a minute?" I ask him. I know this is a stretch but it can't hurt to ask. I really haven't talked to Max but he seems pretty reasonable. He looks pretty surprised to see me. "Sure. Come in and please sit down." I sit in the chair in front of his desk. "What's up? Is everything alright?"

I smile, "Yes everything is fine." He visibly relaxes a little. "I was just wondering. Since it is mostly a free day today, I know it probably isn't a normal thing, but are you open to changing up our routine P.T. for this evening." He smiles wide and I really wish I knew what was going through his head as I begin to get a little nervous. "That is not something that is typical, but I'm interested to know what you're proposing." I try to organize my thoughts before I began speaking. "Well the thing is, we were all interested in a soccer game but we only have a limited time after dinner and it is the only time we would all be able to play. I was wondering if we could have a full-on game instead of P.T." He raises an eyebrow. "Well that is definitely a first, but to be honest it isn't a bad idea. I am quite surprised you were able to pull everyone together. I don't have a problem with that, but if you don't mind I would like to bring Eric in here and get his take on this. I wouldn't want to step on his toes." I give him a tight nod and he lets out a small uncomfortable laugh as he takes out a cell phone, calling Eric asking him to come to his office. That is weird, I didn't even know they carried those; I haven't seen one since I got here.

"What's up Max?" Eric ask as he walks through the door a minute later and his eyes land on me in surprise. He looks back at Max and I think he might be worried, but it is so hard to tell what goes through his head. "Is everything alright?" I smile at him and he seems to relax slightly. What's up with everyone getting so tense when they see me? "Yes everything is fine. Dani here had an great idea I would like to run by you."

"Is that so? What kind of idea?" His voice is almost amused. "Well she thinks it would be a good idea to have a soccer game tonight in place of the normal P.T. I for one think it is a great idea." Max stares at him expectantly. Eric seems a little shocked. "Um, sure we can do that." He says without any conviction. "Great! I would expect all the cadet and the instructors to participate." Eric nods his head and I can tell his wheels are turning but he has a slight smile. I am so excited and happy with a ridiculous grin on my face. I look back at Max, "You know Max sir, a normal game has eleven players. If we all play including the instructors that is eight on each team. If anyone else on the staff would like to play we could make full teams, or we could play eight or nine like the youth leagues."

Eric actually laughs, "Damn Max sounds like you don't need me, Danielle here has got it all covered." Max laughs with him, but I can't tell if Eric is being sarcastic or if really thinks I had a good idea and feel my face is turning pink with embarrassment. "Well I am sure Uriah and Will would love to join in. I will talk to them. Eric if you want to get everything set up by P.T. then I think we are done here."

We both get up. "Thank you sir." He nods at me and Eric and I walk outside.

We walk several feet away from the office before Eric stops and turns to me. He seems a little upset. Shit. He sounds pissed at me. "Why wouldn't you ask me first?" I had a feeling he might ask that. "Honestly?" I look down at me feet and stick my hands in my pockets. He seems to calm down just a little. "Yes, be honest." I look up at him for a minute. "I didn't think you would say yes." He stares at me for what feels like forever before he speaks. "I like routine. Things work better when there is a routine, but I am not opposed to ideas. You need to come to me next time, first."

He pauses and thinks for a moment as if something suddenly occurred to him. "Were you afraid to ask me?" I really was afraid to ask but it probably isn't what he is thinking. I am not afraid of him. I guess my lack of response answered him and something crosses his face. "You don't need to be afraid of me. You know that right." His eyes are pulled together.

I knew it. "I am not afraid of you. I just didn't want to ask you." He smirks as that comes out a little more defensive that I meant. "Okay. So did you want to download some music still?" I smile as it seems I have avoided an argument. I really hadn't decided but I make up my mind to do it. "Sure, but do you mind if I meet you there? I want to tell everyone." I can't keep the smile off my face. "Sure." I can tell he is trying not to smile.

I run over to everyone and stop in front of Jeff with a huge grin on my face. Everyone is sitting around doing homework and talking. "Okay. Say Dani is the best person ever." Jeff just looks at me confused. "Why? What did you do this time?"

"I actually did something for all of us, now say it." He smiles. "Dani is the best person ever, now what did you do."

"Hmmm, I don't know if I should tell you..." I joke around with him. Both he and Patrick smack my legs at the same time. "Okay. okay. I managed to get us out of evening P.T." I smile proud of myself. "No fucking way. How did you do that?" John ask. I turn around and look at Huck. "Instead of P.T. We will be playing a full soccer game."

"Right on." Huck grins. "So everyone has to participate. Sorry Leeann and Terrie, I know you guys didn't want to play but it is really better than P.T." Leeann just gives a little nod. She doesn't look too upset. "Okay, well I got to go do something, Remember to be out here at six thirty." I turn and walk back to the dorm satisfied with myself.

I ahead for the dorm, pick up my Ipod and then go into the instructor dorms. Eric and Paulo are in there. Eric is at his desk working on paperwork and I quickly noticed he has changed into a tank top. I stop and look over at Paulo who is also sitting at his desk but he pays no attention to me. I walk over to Eric and he finally turns around toward me. "The tablet is on my bed, go ahead and get started." He turns back around to his work. Damn he is giving me the cold shoulder again. Maybe he is still mad at me. I have to say, I am a little disappointed. I sit cross legged on his bed and he looks at me. "If you are going to have your feet on my bed, remove your shoes." Okay. Okay. Keep your pants on!

He raises his eyebrow, and I hear Paulo let out chuckle. I press my lips together tightly. Oops, I must have said that out loud. After a second he just turns around continuing with his writing. I remove my boots and scoot back on his bed until my back is on the wall and cross my legs under me. I pick up the tablet laying on his pillow, but I don't see his head phones and I didn't bring mine because I assumed he would give me his again. I pause and wonder if I should ask him or just do it without them.

Paulo gets up. "Hey Eric, you good for a while. I have to go see Marlene." I see Eric roll his eyes but Paulo can't see his face. "I'm good." Paulo grabs something from his desk and leaves.

I debate my problem again. "Did you need something?" He has a half smile on his face. "Um yes, could I bother you for your head phones." He gets a full on smile and pulls them out of the desk drawer and takes the the two steps over to me. I look him in his eyes and I know what he is doing. He puts his knee on the bed and leans over to me laying the headphones very slowly on my lap. As he pulls away slightly, his hand drags across my knee and my heart goes wild. "No bother at all."

Dammit, stop looking at me with that smirk. He has froze rather close to me but hasn't broken eye contact. "You ok Danielle." He draws out my name. I shake my head yes unable to say anything. "Good. Prince Charming wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable." Of course he was listening to that. Shit. And apparently his cold attitude was a charade he put on while Paulo was here.

He gets off the bed and starts organizing his paperwork. Leaning down, he signs one more and then puts them into a folder. He pushes in his chair and goes over to his bookshelf grabbing the same book he had been reading last time. He must still be reading it. I expect him to come over and sit beside me but instead he lays down on his back on the outside edge of the bed with his head on his other pillow essentially blocking me in. The only way for me to get off the bed would be to climb over the footboard or climb over him since he spans the entire length of the bed. We fit on the bed just fine like this but there is only about six inches that separate my knees and his lower stomach. I just stare at him until he looks at me. Once he opens his book to his marker, he looks over at me with straight face. "Is this ok with you?" I cannot let him know this bothers me. Not because I am uncomfortable but because I am perfectly comfortable with this and that is what bothers me. "Sure." I sound almost convincing. "Okay." He looks back at his book and starts reading.

After pausing to slow my breathing I put on the ear phones and open the music app. I see his lip twitch out of the corner of my eye, but I try to ignore him. I know Jeff downloaded some music so I try to pull up his play list, but when I go into the play list area there is only Eric's and Mine. I look over at Eric confused. "Where is Jeff's play list?" He doesn't even look up at me. "I deleted it. The music he download is there, you just have to go into the menu and click 'View all music'. The music is still on there just not the play list."

"Then why is mine still there?" I give him a curious look. He looks over to me. "What can I say? You have good taste in music." Great now he is using my words against me. Whatever. I turn back to the tablet and he continues reading. I open all music and tons more shows up. I find Bush, Korn, Limp Bizkit, and Full Devils Jacket. I haven't heard them in a long time but I decide to add a bunch of songs.

Suddenly I feel something almost sharp on the edge of my knee. I look down at his hand and he is running his thumb nail along the outside of my knee but he is still holding the book in his other hand reading. It is almost as if this is something normal. I close my eyes as the feeling resonates up my legs. I don't stop him which I really should. This is just inviting him to torture me more. I take a deep breath and look back to the tablet and pull up the down loader. I search for Staind and find a few songs that I like and then move on to Papa Roach. I still really like some of the older stuff I grew up on since both of my parents like rock music. Zeppelin, Metallica and Black Sabbath are all awesome but I only have a limited amount of space and I rarely am in the mood for that stuff.

I sit tapping on the side of the tablet trying to remember some other bands. I decide to scroll through his music. I find 'The Animal' by Disturbed adding it to my play list. As I listen to it, my mind flints back to Eric. I can actually imagine him singing this song. I try to hard not smile. When it finishes I move on and find a song called 'That Day' by Nonpoint and start listening to it. I have never heard of them. My head starts moving to the music. It is actually a really good song. I add it to my play list but I don't keep looking because I realize Eric's thumb has slowly moved above my knee to my thigh. I quickly put my hand over his pinning it between my leg and my hand. He looks at me but instead of the smirk I expect, he looks confused. Did he really think I would let him keep going?

"Do you not like that?" His voice is actually curious not mockingly. "That is not the point." He tilts his head to the side as if he doesn't understand. "Then what is the point." I don't know if I want to have this conversation with him. I look down at my lap and it isn't lost on me that our hands still haven't moved. "I don't want to be hurt." A flash of irritation crosses his face. "Do you really think I would hurt you?" Shit. Why is he making me explain this? "Not physically." I glance up from under my lashes to see his face. I think anger flashes for a moment but then his face turns to understanding. "Well that is not what I expected to hear." Huh, well it's the truth. I suppose most people are physically threatened by him, maybe that is what he meant. He slides his hand slowly from beneath mine and my eyes close at the lost of contact and my hand falls onto my thigh at the absence of his. I feel him shift but I keep my eyes closed. I am suddenly surprise to feel his finger running across the back of my hand in a slow figure eight.

My eyes fly open to meet his. He has turned on his side toward me with one hand under his head propping himself up while his other hand is on mine. His face looks almost soft but the curious look is back. Oddly there is almost a smug look behind it. "Why is it do you think it is that I can touch you and others can't?" I really have no idea, but I don't want this to turn into a heavy conversation. "Patrick and Jeff can." I shrug my shoulders.

"Yes but I have noticed they are still reserved when they touch you. For instance when Jeff sat on you bed comforting you, he only touched your face and your hair. They also never hold their touch on anything but your arms." He really has been watching me but why the hell does it matter. It's so hard for me to think looking in his eyes but I don't want to look away. "Their hands never stay on you like this..." He reaches over and runs his fingers down the side of my ribs to my hip very slowly as if he is testing my boundaries. I just swallow hard at a loss for words and close my eye taking in the electricity I feel running down my side.

"Danielle," He says softly. I open my eyes and see sincerity in his face. "Did someone hurt you?" I can't stop myself, I am so lost by his touch and gaze on me. I hold my breath and nod yes. He closes his eyes for just a moment. "Does anyone know?" I nod my head yes again. "Your parents?" Tears forms in my eyes blurring my vision slightly but don't spill over, as I shake my head no every so slightly. He thinks a second, "Your friends Jeff and Patrick." I try but I can't hold it in any longer and a single tear falls down my cheek as I nod yes. They were at camp with me when it happened but I cannot materialize any words right now to tell him that.

He reaches up and wipes the tear from my cheek. "What happened? You can tell me." I shake my head and whisper, "I can't". I shouldn't. He sits up so his face is just inches from mine, his arm propped up on his one bent knee and he cups the side of my face with his hand. He swallows deeply as if he is nervous. "You can, I swear it will never leave this room." Staring in his eyes, all I want is to close the small distance between us and forget this conversation. "Please." He pleads with me. My heart is racing so fast think it might come right out of my chest. This is a different side of Eric, I have never seen him like this. It's so... so disarming.

I lean my face into his hand more and close my eyes before speaking so quietly I am not even sure he can hear me. "When I was nine. We use to have to go to this ten-week camp in the city during the summer because it was cheaper than a babysitter. It...it was like being in a boarding school only we did activities all day, nothing like this place. We went every year, but that year was...different."

I swallow again as I feel another tear fall. "We had our own small bedrooms, that barely fit our bed and a desk. That year there was a new teacher." The tightening in my chest comes on hard and I can no longer talk. Eric gives me a minute and I can't bring myself to open my eyes or to continue. "Did he rape you?" His voice is so low and angry I barely hear him. I move my head indicating no. He lets out a loud breath. "Did he touch you?" I don't know if I can tell him. "He touched you." It was not a question. He knows. His voice is still low. "Was it more than once?" I shake my head yes slowly. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, I can no longer keep them at bay. "A lot?" His voice has become a mixture of anger and sadness. I nod yes again. I can't breath, my chest is heaving and I feel dizzy. "Christ why didn't you tell someone?"

Fuck. I can't do this anymore. I push the tablet off me and try to jump over him but he catches me and pulls me onto his lap and holds me tight against him as I cry into his chest. "I...I...can't...please" I tell him as I struggle to get away but he is much stronger than me. "Calm down." He tells me with a low authoritative voice. I give in and just let him hold me as I cry uncontrollably.

* * *

 **Well what did you think. You finally got more of the story. Hope I did it justice. I didn't want to get to graphic with that because it is a bit of a touchy situation. She may explain a little more in future chapters. Well let me know what you think and stay tuned to see how the rest of the day evolved. Until next time.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Alright here is the second half. It is just a little shorter because it was originally part of the last chapter. Thank you for all the awesome reviews. You guys definitely make it easy to keep writing this. To my guest reviewer, I have a special place for Lynn don't worry. Enjoy!**

 **Again this is strong M rating! Proceed with caution.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 15:**

 _(Sunday June 21st)_

I am at a loss of time as we sit there until my sobs have quieted. All the unwelcome visions of that summer come flooding back to me after being blocked out for so long. Walls that I had built up long ago holding out all but the smallest of memories that appeared in my dreams occassionally, knocked down by my mear admission of it.

Eric is the first person since that summer I have ever told. Patrick and Jeff only knew because they were there with me and I couldn't hide it from them. Many times they were the only ones who could offered the tiniest bit of comfort. The feeling of his disgusting hands all over me, including my most intimate areas, and the bruises he left on me from being too rough while he got himself off, had caused me to start to flinch at anyone's touch. To this day I am not sure how no one else noticed, or maybe they noticed and chose to ignore it. The boys told me to tell someone, or to let them say tell someone but I didn't let them. I begged and pleading with them to keep their mouths closed.

I didn't say anything because was afraid he would hurt me even more. He threatened me constantly, and when he found out the guys knew, he threaten to hurt them in front of me. He told me he would make them do things to me, horrible things and that it would be all my fault. I was too young, weak, and stupid to do the right thing. I just suffered through it for 10 weeks praying every night he would stop, hoping that he would get tired of me and at my most horrible times, wished he would find someone else.

I was a weak and stupid little girl. I am sure that Eric thinks I am weak and stupid now too, although I am not sure why he is still holding me here. He probably doesn't want to get in trouble for upsetting me like this. He has gotten in enough trouble because of me. My feet are on the edge of the bed and he has loosened his grip as I have calmed down. I take the opportunity to get up quickly before he can stop me. "Wait." He says shocked at my sudden movement. I can't look him in the eye after telling him the most humiliating thing in my life. I don't know if I will ever be able to look at him again.

I hurrily walk out the door to outside almost in a run. After a few steps outside, I realize I don't have my shoes on and I remove my socks sticking them in my back pocket as I walk. I come around the building and everyone is gone out of the court yard and I smell food. Looking at my watch I see it is dinner time but I can't eat. I need to move before Eric finds me and makes me go to dinner. I decided to walk around the back of the cabins and when I get to the last one I lean against it and slide down.

 _Why did I tell him?_ I am so fucking stupid. He is better than I thought he was. He knew exactly what he was doing touching me like, and holding me in his gaze to calm me and get the information he wanted. Why the fuck did he need to know? Is that what he has been planning all week, trying to find a way to break me. I hit my head against the wall hard. _Why did I fall for that shit._ I have always been stronger than that, I hate being weak, it reminds me to much of that summer. I made it my mission after that summer to be stronger so that it would never happen again.

My hands wipe up and down my arms and legs like I can push away the fathom touches my thoughts have brought back. I really need my Ipod but I left it on his bed and I am not going back in there. I at least need a hot shower, I feel disgusting right now. I get up and slowly walk back to my dorm. I am grateful that everyone has headed to dinner, I don't want to see anyone right now. I gather up some clean cloths, throw my hair up in a high bun, and go into the bathroom praying he isn't there.

It is empty. I go over to the shower and putting my clothes in their spot and hanging my towel.

"Danielle." His voice is quiet and guarded as I hear him walk over to me. "I don't want to talk anymore." I say forcefully. He has gotten enough out of me. _Can't he just be satisfied?_ He lays his hand on my shoulder and instantly drop it causing the contact to be lost. "Don't!" I try to slow my breathing, because right now, I want to just turn around and hit him for getting me to admit that shit. "Are you happy now?" I ask him, but before he can say anything I continue, "Just...leave...me...alone!" I say slowly and drawn out, the anger bleeding through ever word. He just stands there and just as I am about to tell him to leave when I hear him turn. When he is almost out of the room he stops. "Sorry."

 _Really._ He is sorry. Oh good that is just what I wanted was to make him sorry for me. That is not what I wanted. I don't want everyone to treat me like the sorry little victim. That is one of the reasons I don't tell people. I turn on the shower as hot as I can stand it and get in.

The pounding hot water hide the last few escaped tears. I wash my body three times until I feel some what clean again. When I get out he still isn't in here. _Good_. I go over to the sink and look at myself. "I will get through this!" I tell myself, it feels better to say it out loud. I splash cold water on my face and dry it off taking several deep breaths. When I finally stand up I feel a better and resolve to put this behind me.

I go into my dorm, my boots are now sitting on my chest so I put them on and put my stuff away. People are starting to trickle back in from dinner excited, probably about the upcoming game. Jeff comes over to me. "Why weren't you at dinner." I give him a fake smile, but I don't think he is fooled. "I had to take care of somethings."

"Alone?" _What the hell was that suppose to mean._ Then it hits me that Eric probably missed dinner too. "Of course alone." I glance over and see that there is a water bottle, a protein bar and my Ipod on my side table. Well wasn't that nice of him, I think as I roll my eyes. I grab all three, and smile at Jeff. He looks like he is debating on pushing the conversation further, but before he can I give him a quick peck on the cheek and start walking past him. "Thanks for always being there for me. See you for the game." I don't give him a chance to respond, I just walk out of the dorm.

I decide to walk around the outsides of the building to avoid people. I quickly eat my protein bar even though I don't want to eat but I didn't eat dinner and I am sure he will know if I don't. As I am drinking the water I go through my play list to find what I want to listen to. I notice immediately that he synced it with the new stuff I had added. I go to the 'recent added' and look. They are all there along with two other songs. The first one is 'Sorry' by Buckcherry, so I play it. I know the song but I haven't listen to it in a while. I tend to stay away from sad music. Focusing on the song I start to wonder why he added this song. This can't possibly be how he feels, other than maybe he is sorry, just maybe.

I look at my Ipod again and scroll to the other song because I cannot listen to this one anymore. It's called 'Dig' by Incubus. I have never heard this song and I am hoping it will make me feel a little better.

 _We all have a weakness_  
 _But some of ours are easy to identify_  
 _Look me in the eye_  
 _And ask for forgiveness_  
 _We'll make a pact to never speak that word again_  
 _Yes, you are my friend_  
 _We all have something that digs at us_  
 _At least we dig each other_

 _So when weakness turns my ego up_  
 _I know you'll count on the me from yesterday_

 _If I turn into another_  
 _Dig me up from under what is covering_  
 _The better part of me_  
 _Sing this song_  
 _Remind me that we'll always have each other_  
 _When everything else is gone_

I stop walking. _What!_ I restart the song focusing on the words thinking I must have heard that wrong. He can't be fucking serious. I am beyond confused. Why the hell would he put this song on here? He must just like the song and thought I would too. Nothing else makes sense, but I am engrossed by the song. I lean up against the the wall of the office building and stare up at the sky with the song on repeat, memorizing the words.

* * *

The next thing I know, Zeke comes up beside me. He looks at my face and cautiously ask, "You ok?" I must look like shit. I am sure my eyes are a still a bit puffy from earlier and I just feel worn down. I try to perk up and smile. "Yep." I think I fooled him, but I am not sure. "Eric asked me to come get you, the game is going to start." I keep a straight face."Yeah ok." I can't keep the shock out of my voice. I didn't realize I was standing there so long. At least Eric is giving me some space, it is the least he can do.

This was my idea and I want to enjoy it, so I push my thoughts aside and focus on going out and having a good time. Zeke and I head to the field and I try to finish my water since I will be running a lot. We get over to the court yard and someone has ran a red cord around in a square and there is a small white painted circle in the middle. The field is a little smaller than a normal field but not by much. On each end of the makeshift field their are two poles on either side of the 'goal' that are about six feet high. I walk over to where everyone else is in front of the stage, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone. The entire staff is here including Max and Tori. Max is wearing a plain white shirt which is odd and everyone else is wearing their Dauntless uniform.

Eric gets up on the stage but doesn't look at me he just starts talking scanning everyone. "P.T is going to be a little different tonight. Thanks to your fellow cadet we will be playing a soccer game instead. We will be playing eleven on eleven with two 25 minute halves, and a 10 minute half time. The ball must fall into the goal below the top of the polls to be good. Max will be our referee for this game. This will be no contact so keep your hands to yourself, is that understood." Everyone shakes their heads in agreement.

"Ok, to make this fair and easier to tell teams apart, we will be playing Dorm A against Dorm B with the instructors playing with your dorms. Four and I will be the captains since we both know the game well. Christina, Marlene and Uriah, your with Dorm A. Tris, Tori and Will will be with Dorm B. I will lead us through some quick stretches and then you will have five minutes to figure out who will be your goalie and what position to play. We have red shirts for the goalies and my team will wear yellow bands are our arms to keep the teams straight. Alright, lets get this started." We all spread out but not in our normal formation just kind of fanned out.

Once we are stretched, we take our spots on each side of the field. Eric throws a stop watch to Max who catches it with ease. "You got five minutes teams." Max bellows from mid-field. "Alright does everyone know the basic rules." Eric ask as he passes out the yellow peices of fabric and everyone nods. "Good, who has played on a team before?" Me, Uriah, Christina, Huck, Jeff and Patrick all raise our hands. Eric smiles. "Good. Tie these bands on to your right upper arm. Anyone good at goalie."

"I'm pretty good." Uriah speaks up. Eric looks at him and throws him the red shirt in his hand. "We are going to play a basic 4-3-3 formation. The forwards will be Danielle, Christina, Huck and myself. The mid-fielders will be Tara, Jeff and Marlene and the defenders will be Patrick, Mike and Paulo. Make sure you stay spread out and call out your passes. Everyone clear." I hear Tara whisper to Mike asking him what is a mid-fielder is and he quickly explains. "Alright really quick meet with the people in your position and decide who will be left, right or center." I walk over to Eric but keep my eyes on the ground. When Christina and Huck join us Eric continues. "Ok, I play left-center, Danielle are you good playing right-center." I look at him and try to keep my mind focus. "Actually I am better at left-center." I am good at left. My coaches always liked that I could shoot and be acurate with my left foot and I played forward often because I was fast. His lip turns up just slightly. "Ok, then I will play right-center. Christina, Huck?"

"I can play left, it is a little harder but I am not bad." Huck says. "Great, then Christina you can play right."

"Alright teams on the field." Max yells. Well all get on the field in position, some of the more experience players help the less experience players position themselves and give them little pointers. I remind our team to stay spread out. It looks like the other team is using the same formation. I have a feeling Eric and Four planned that. Four and Royce stand in front of Eric and I and Max steps in between us. Alright captains who is calling it. "Eric can call it." Four speaks up. "Ok Eric, call it." Max flips the coin and Eric calls tails. Max removes his hand and tails it is. We get kick off and Four and Royce back off.

Max puts his finger and thumb in his mouth and whistles extremely loud. "Game on." I will have to remember not to stand so close to him next time. I swear I just loss half of my hearing. I have the ball so I kick it forward softly to Eric to start the game. Eric is actually really good at the game.

As the game continues I forget about everything that has happened and I am just enjoying the game. By half time the score is 3-3. I have scored once and Eric has scored twice although I assisted one. We go over the the side lines and there are towels and water bottles that someone put there before the game started. Everyone rushes over to the water. I go to grab a towel but Eric hands one to me before I can get to it and gives me a tight smile. I notice immediately that there is a protein bar in it. I guess I shouldn't argue, I really do need it, so I eat it quickly and gulp down a whole bottle of water. I just hope I don't get a cramp in my side from drinking to much but I am so thirsty.

We start up the game again and I feel great. This was such a good idea and everyone is so happy and it is contagious. Even Eric and I are being civil to each other giving each other side high-fives when we score. When Max blows the final whistle, we have won 7 to 5. I am elated our team won and I got another goals. Eric also headed in my corner kick giving me the assist. We worked really good together. I did have a hard time going up against Four though, he is super quick with his feet. Him and Eric both, for their height, it is crazy to see them move that fast. Eric is also fancy with his feet. He clearly played a lot growing up.

Patrick and Jeff both give me a quick hug while I give high fives to everyone else. The other team seems a little disappointed but not to bad, we all had fun. We give them the normal 'good game' and hand shakes being good sports. Max whistles and jumps up on the stage so everyone gathers around him.

"Thank you again Dani for the excellent suggestion. We may try to do that at least one more time before this camp is done, or maybe some flag football." I see Eric nod his head in agreement. "I would also like to make another announcement. This coming Saturday we will be having a bonfire out at 'The Pit', which is located in the field behind the cabins." I noticed the fire pit when I was walking around the other night. There is a huge fire pit and a bunch of large logs that go around it. "Assuming you behave, we will have these every forth Saturday to celebrate the milestone. We will provide soda and smores. Thank you guys for a great night, apparently I am getting a little old and need some more exercise." He pats his stomach and everyone laughs at him. "I will see you tomorrow."

Everyone slowly move off to the dorms chatting about the upcoming bonfire. I smile and sit on the stage looking at the field once everyone is out of site. I feel someone sit beside me and I know it is him. Taking a deep breath, I organize my thoughts and he smartly decides to let me speak first. "I need some space Eric. You are very observant and must see that Jeff and Patrick back off when I need it." I managed to keep my voice strong but not angry. He has pointed out on several occasions that he watches us three so I know I am right. He just sits there for several minutes. I sit there giving him time to process my request. I really don't know what else to say to him and as much as I want to look at him to gauge his reaction, I can't look at him in the face, at least not yet. "Space...request granted." He finally says sounding almost defeated and gets up walking away. I watch him retreat for a moment and then my eyes find the sky. I don't want to be angry right now and I remember that I still have my Ipod, so I put in my ear buds as I lay back on the stage with my legs dangling off and turn it the music up loud.

I am happy know one bothers or questions me. I have managed to keep my head empty and just enjoy the high of our win. I stare up at the sky just happy watching the fading light in the sky as more and more stars appear. When it is fully dark I look at my watch and I only have 30 minutes until lights out. My body is stiff and sore from my position even though I have scooted back to bring my legs up on the stage. Today has been so up and down. I don't know if it is possible but I had both the best day and the worst day since I got here, all rolled in one.

Once I get inside I shower quickly but this time I wash my hair and brush my teeth. I have had to assure Patrick and Jeff that I was ok. I hate the extra attention but it is ok, they are just trying to look after me like they always do. Every since that summer, but I don't want to think about that. I try to clear my mind and not think about it. I am sure I will not sleep well but I have to try because tomorrow is another day. I get in bed and having such a emotionally and physically exhausting day, sleep finds me quickly.

* * *

 **Well there it is. What did you think? I had thought about cutting a bunch of out but I just couldn't do it. I love the game of soccer (or football to my foreign friends), I just had to include it. Please let me know what you think, reviews and comments always appreciated. Also wanted to let you know I have a little special something in the next chapter. Until tomorrow, have a great day!**

 **(Music Credit: Sorry - Buckcherry & Dig - Incubus)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey Everyone. I want to thank everyone again for all the reviews, please keep them coming. This story is gaining momentum and I couldn't be happier. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 16:**

 _(Saturday June 27th)_

I have survived another week. I've moved through this week in somewhat of a daze, and by the end of each day I can barely remember what happened. Just bits and pieces stand out. Part of problem is I haven't been sleeping well since Sunday.

Sunday night was the worse, I woke up with a scream, scaring the shit out of everyone. Paulo had come running in our dorm in boxers and a tank top embarrassing the crap out of me. I was a bit surprised it wasn't Eric and wondered why he hadn't come in, especially as the nightmare was of his doing. Reliving that shit in my head was just too much for me and my dreams had become as vivid as ever.

I ended up sleeping with Jeff sitting at the top of my bed with my head in his lap and running his fingers through my hair, much like that summer when I would get enough courage to sneak into his room needing comfort. Jeff never complained, he would just sit up, place a pillow on his lap and would run his fingers through my hair until I cried myself to sleep. Many times he would try to convince me to let him say something, but I couldn't let him be hurt because of me. He was the best friend I could have ever had.

Jeff woke me up again the next night before I could disturb anyone else. I honestly think he didn't ask me why because he figured the shrink had gotten it out of me. Thankfully it is slowly getting better. Last night was the first time I was mostly ok, but it was rather confusing. Eric was in my dream again, finding me and comforting me before the boots could reached me.

In reality, Eric has stayed as far away from me as possible. At first, I thought it was because he had finally gotten my secret out of me. He had been pushing the issue from the day I freaked out in class. Pushing to see how far he could go before I pushed back and asking me those questions. But it has become clear it isn't merely being done with a conquest, there is something more there, I am just not sure what is. He didn't just go back to his normal asshole instructor attitude, he has become withdrawn.

He hasn't spoke a word to me this entire week and he won't look at me for nothing. On a couple of occasions, he has rubbed against my arm or leg, and quickly moves away looking pissed off, but that now familiar warmth stays there long after he has passed. He has also stopped sitting next to me at meals. He just sets my food down and goes to the other end of the table.

Really, it is my own doing. I told him I needed space and that is exactly what he is doing. I was so angry at him Sunday, at the time, I didn't know if I would ever be able to be comfortable with him again. But over the last several days that anger has shifted into something else. Some kind of need. Need of his presence, need of his touch, need of a closeness and I am almost certain it will never happen. At the very least, I want things to be civil between us. I miss his odd way of teasing me and even his crazy mood swings. I miss his eyes looking into mine, making the world around me fall away. I don't know how I could crave the company of someone who makes me so mad and confused, but it is there. None of it is logical, just like his ability to touch me.

Maybe I just miss his touch or maybe I am a glutton for punishment.

I make up my mind to try to talk to him and when he brings me over my breakfast I decide this as good time as any. I smile and look up at him, his eye meet mine for the first time since Sunday. "Hey Eric." He gets a confused look on his face, hesitating for a moment, and then sits down next to me. I let out a sigh of relief. Maybe he will talk to me. "Hi," He says back quietly. I start eating and debate my next words excited that he chose to join me for breakfast.

His leg brushes against me by mistake and he quickly moves it. I suddenly get an idea and I move my leg back against him. He'd played this game with me all last week and I intend on repaying him the favor, maybe he will find humor in it. I almost spit out the food in my mouth trying to hold in my laughter when his fork pauses half way to his mouth and his eyes widen. I see his lip twitch ever so slightly and he whispers so quietly only I can hear him, "Careful." Confused, I think about that for a moment. _Of what?_ He switches his fork to the other hand to eat and slyly reaches under the table with his other hand.

He runs his thumb nail from my knee up to the middle of my thigh. He almost smiles as my breath hitches and then he goes back to his food finishing it quickly and getting up to leave before I can collect my thoughts. "Happy Birthday Danielle," he tells me in a seductively low voice.

And the normal Eric is back. Well that didn't take much or so I hope anyway. It definitely puts me in a better mood.

Everyone has told me happy birthday this morning. Apparently someone spread the word. It didn't help that both Jeff and Patrick were loud about it this morning, giving me birthday punches. My arm actually does hurt a little. Mike had thought about joining in the birthday punches but when I raised an eyebrow, he thought better of it. I am not big at celebrating my birthday but I don't care today. I just want to have a good day and not let anything bother me!

* * *

My day has been rather good. Eric has been finding ways to touch me all day. In self defense class he felt it necessary to touch me to correct my stance leaving his hand lingering on my stomach when he told me to keep my core muscles tight. My whole body had exploded with fire at his touch and I had to remind myself to keep breathing. He chuckled as he walked away knowing exactly what he was doing. The old Eric was definitely back.

During our hike this afternoon, he kept brushing his arm along my shoulder and every time I looked up at him he would have a completely focused look on his face like he wasn't doing anything. Normally it would be irritating but I actually found it funny knowing he was doing it on purpose. By dinner time I couldn't take the smile of my face. Today had been so normal but so good. That was until Max walked out of the kitchen with a hug piece of chocolate cake and started singing 'Happy Birthday' as everyone joined in I couldn't help my face reddening. Max explained that it was Dauntless Bootcamp specialty cake and everyone was dished up a smaller piece. It was the most delicious cake I have ever had.

After dinner we all went to get ready for the bonfire, I grab my sweatshirt knowing it will get cold. There was no evening P.T. which meant we get 3 1/2 hours out at the fire. At least my birthday won't be completely boring.

As we were walking out of the dorm, John finds me giving me a quick hug and I freeze. I take a deep breath, I don't want to ruin this day. He tries to grab my hand but I smoothly slip it in my pocket. He doesn't seem to notice it was intentional. Ignoring my reaction to my hug, he leans close to my side and whispers to me, "Hey I have something for some of us. Find me at the bonfire."

"Ok." I try to sound casual and just give him a smile. You would think after the last few weeks people would have learned to give me my personal space. Jeff comes up beside me and grabs my arm dragging me past John. "You good," he ask when we have gotten out of hearing range from John. I am grateful for his intervention. "Yep, lets go." We walk to the bonfire and there is a huge fire going in the big pit that is actually sunken in the ground a little. I had only seen it from far away and had no idea it was so big. The field back behind the cabins is almost as large as the courtyard with the pit almost half way across. The logs are perfect size to sit on and are arranged just far away from the fire. There is also two open coolers with soda in them.

We sit down and start talking. The only instructor that is here is Four and he is sitting across from me talking to Tris. I can barely see them because of the huge fire. I am a little disappointed that Eric isn't here but I am focused on just relaxing tonight and enjoying everyone's company. Jeff brings me over a coke that is already open. "Here, it is my favorite." I look at him confused and take a quick sip. _Holy shit!_ "You ass, where the hell did you get rum?"

He smiles, "Well I can't take all the credit but we needed to do something for your birthday." I raise my eyebrow, "We?" He laughs a little. "Actually John got it." He looks almost embarrassed. I look over at John and he has a big smile on his face and raises his can to me. I give him a smile in thanks and raise mine back.

"So how many people are drinking?" I'm worried that someone is going to fuck it up for us. "Just Patrick, me, you, John, Royce and Huck. We have made it clear that no one is aloud to have a lot, beside it is a limited supply." I feel a little better and excited at the same time. "Here's to you, on your birthday sis." I raise my glass to him and we click cans. I take a big drink and smile. I haven't drank in a while, but when I do, drink it's usually rum and coke because I can't stand beer unless it is Corona.

We sit and talk about our party stories that we have missed out on in each others lives. It seems like every time I run out of soda, one of the guys that are drinking, brings me a new one as they come and sit to talk to me. That is except John, which I find just a little weird, but I push the feeling away. Although we are stuck in this place I feel so happy and free, it is wonderful. As soon as the sunsets, Eric and Paulo join us with several bags in their hands. and a small folding table. They set up the table and lay out the s'more supplies. I look around and Will, Christina, Marlene, Zeke and Uriah joined us some time ago, I really didn't see when.

"Here you guys go, do not make a mess and do not burn yourselves." Eric says giving me a quick smile and then walks over to talk to Marlene and Will. Paulo walks past me and I can smell alcohol. Apparently we aren't the only ones drinking. "Lets get some," I say and stand up with Jeff and Huck, who were sitting on either side of me. I get just a little dizzy and grab both their arms to steady myself. Jeff smiles at me trying not to laugh. "I guess we made yours just a little stronger. That or maybe your a light weight." I slap his arm. "Ass! Trying to get me drunk now are you."

"Me I would never." He says with his signature goofy smile. How could I be mad at him, he is so freaking adorable. "Sit down, I will make you one, we don't need you falling into the fire." He jokes. I concede and sit down dragging Huck down with me for support. "I still have to walk back to the cabin unless you were planning on carrying me." I say to Jeff "Oh I am sure there are plenty of men here willing to carry you to bed." He says laughing and walks away before I can reply but I flip him off anyway.

Huck laughs and moves his hand to my back and I freeze. I am sure it is a friendly gesture to keep me from falling back so I try to stay calm and take a deep breath. Even with the alcohol in me I am not immune to my fears. I push his hand off playfully. "Go get one for yourself, Huckleberry, because I sure ain't sharing mine." I try to keep my voice happy hoping he will actually go.

He smiles and stands, "Will do, be right back." He walks away and I let out a breath of relief. I sit there for a minute just enjoying the warmth of the fire and down last of my drink. John must have noticed and comes over with a cute smile and sits beside me at a comfortable distance handing me another can. "I don't know if I really should," I tell him honestly. I am pretty buzzed, even if tomorrow is an easy day we have P.T. in the morning. "Don't worry, I just put the last of it in your drink. It is only right that you get the last of it, it's your birthday, please, enjoy." I take the can, "Thanks!" I will just drink it really slow, I tell myself. I really am grateful that this wasn't another boring birthday.

"So where did you get the alcohol?" I ask honestly curious how he could possible get it way out here. He grins, "I took it from Uriah, he had left his bag in the gym bathroom this morning and when I took a peak to see what was inside, I found it. I figure he isn't suppose to have it either being he is only 18, so he would be less likely to report it." I knew he looked a little smug. "But don't feel sorry for him, if you haven't noticed yet, several of the staff and even our instructors have been drinking so I am sure he got some more otherwise he wouldn't be so damn happy right now. That is why all the staff were gone earlier. I overheard them talking about it at dinner that they were having a pre-party." I laugh at the situation and I really don't feel bad for drinking now. I see Eric who is looking at me and is talking to Paulo sitting a few logs away. I wonder if he has been drinking too.

He seems a little more relaxed as does everyone. Jeff brings me a s'more and then goes off to get another one for himself. I start to eat it and of course it gets all over my fingers. I go to suck the chocolate off my thumb and without thinking, my eyes find Eric's. His eyes are glued to what I think is my mouth and his jaw is clinched together and then he bits on his lower lip. As if realizing what he is doing he looks away quickly and I do the same as that look on his face damn near drives me crazy. Fuck that turned me on. _Stop, I need to Stop_. I try to tell myself. I look around trying to distract my thoughts and see Huck talking to Terrie, I have had a hunch that he likes her. I suddenly realize that John has inched closer to me without me noticing and is now right next to me. "So read anything interesting lately." I say trying to keep it casual as possible and just wait for Jeff to make his way back to me. I look and he is laughing hysterically as he talks to Royce and Patrick. I smile at him as a reaction. He really is a good friend. I faintly notice John is answering me and try to listen to him. "...so have you been able to get more music?"

Stay calm, just talk to him. "Um yeah, Eric let me add some more. I ended getting some older stuff that I grew up with..." His hand moves to my knee, and the tightening sets in. I have to stop this. I take a big drink of my soda, _shit that is strong._ I turn toward him and swallow with the intention of making it clear his actions are unwanted. "John..." My voice breaks horribly bad and I pause trying to breath through the pain in my chest.

All the sudden, his hand is on my cheek and his lips are on my own. Before I can think I punch him hard in his face and stand up as he falls back . "Don't you ever do that again. EVER!" My voice is low and laced with anger, only half the people saw what happened and they are all staring at me as I stand there my chest heaving from the adrenaline that is pumping through me.

"Dani you need to come with me now." _Shit._ Eric is right behind me and he grabs my arm firmly, but I don't bother to shake it off as he starts leading me back toward the dorms. He sounds very angry, he even used my nickname. I don't think he has ever done that. _Damn it._ Fucking John why did he have to pull that shit. Now I am in trouble. I was having such a good time too. I walk with him not struggling, but honestly if his hand wasn't on me I would probably not even be able to walk straight.

"Fucking dick, why would you do that to her." I hear Jeff yell at John as we walk away. "Dude she is a big girl and can take care of herself. Did you see what the hell she did?" He yells back and I hear shuffling, but I don't look back. "Hey guys, guys, knock it off. This is over, go back to your own business." Four stops the argument before it can progress and everything quiets down behind me as we get further away.

At first I am thinking we are going through the instructors dorm but he leads me around the other side so we are between the instructors dorm and dorm B. He leans me against the wall looking up at a red light on the corner of the building. His face is angry. I should probably try to make this as painless as possible.

I am look down at my hands, "I'm sorry Eric." I chance looking up at him through my lashes, I need to see his face. His face goes from angry to shocked to confused. "What exactly are you sorry for?" Great he is going to make me spell it out. I look back at my hands. "I hit him, it is unacceptable behavior, I just...sorry." I breath in deeply. His hand comes up and pushes my chin upward making me look into his eyes. "That fucking asshole got what he deserved and he is lucky you hit him first. Are YOU ok?" Now I am confused. His hand is still on my chin and I am lost in his beautiful eyes and want explodes within me. I inch my mouth closer to his and then stop. _I can't do this_. If he rejects me I won't be able to deal with it. I start to lean back toward the wall.

Something in his eyes changes and before I can even comprehend what is happening his lips crush to mine hard and I am pushed back against the wall, his body pinning me. My eyes close and my hands wrap around his neck. His lips on mine are everything I hoped it would be, and we move together enjoying each others touch. My hands move into his hair and I pull rewarding me with a low growl from him that causes an ache between my legs. He licks my bottom lip requesting entry and I gladly comply. I am lost in overwhelming fire from his body. He bits my lip and I moan at the intense feeling burning through me straight down to my core. I feel him hardening against me. It shocks me for just a moment that he he turned on by me and I really want him badly. He moves his hands down to the back of my thighs and pulls me up. I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist and his fingers dig into my side trying to pull me even closer.

We finally have to break for air and he rest his forehead against mine. Both of us are breathing heavily and I am lost in the clouds. "As much as I really fucking hate to say this, we can't do this tonight." _Seriously!_ "Why the fuck not." I say forcefully without thinking, and he laughs at my audacity as he pulls his head away slightly so he can look in my eyes. "For one you have been drinking." Now it is my turn to laugh since I can smell it on him too, I raise my eyebrow, "And you haven't?" He smiles "Well when we do this I would prefer you were sober. Second I do not have a condom on me since this is not exactly how I pictured us hooking up." _So he has been thinking about me._ I think about what he just said, 'when we do this', so he plans on it in the future. I am elated at the thought but I am at a loss since I no idea what he would see in my after he found out my little secret. I unwrap my legs and he sets me down and adjust his pants that are still bulging, without letting me go completely. As much as I hate to say it, but he's right, well not about the drunk part. I am braver when I am drunk.

We hear people talking returning to the dorms, but we are in a dark spot and no one has to walk around this side. I wonder if he brought me to this spot for that purpose. He takes my hand leading me into the darkest spot of where we are as he watches the red light. It must be a camera that he is trying to avoid, understandably. He could probably get into trouble if someone found out. He leans his back against the wall and turns me so my back is against his chest and then suddenly slides down the wall pulling me with him. I have to cover my mouth so that I don't scream. He is sitting cross legged, and I am sitting in his lap. I lean my head back against his shoulder and relax. We just sit there for a few minutes. He runs his fingers up and down my arm and I close my eyes enjoying his touch.

The lights in the dorm go out and I automatically think of what happens if you go out of the dorm during lights out. I sit up looking back at him, "Am I going to be in trouble for being out here after lights out?" His raises an eyebrow, "You really think I would let that happen?" I don't take my eyes off him. He rolls his eyes, "As long as you are within five feet of an instructor your tracker will not activate. We have the ability to change the distance setting, which is what we do when we are on hikes but that can only be done by Max or Will." He shifts me a little to the side and pulls out a cell phone from his pocket and then pulls me back against his chest. I watch as he pulls up Paulo on messenger and sends a text; _I have Dani, she is a bit freaked out and I am trying to calm her down, will be back in a bit._ I can't help but laugh. "Wow, is this how you calm down all your cadets." I ask as I take his other hand running my fingers along the back.

He takes several deep breaths like he is afraid to say something. "Just say it Eric." I tell him. He talks quietly almost saddened, "Are you really ok? Even if was someone else, what he did would be enough to upset them." I take a deep breath and I turn around so I am straddling him and I grab his neck with both hands. Both of his eyes get big at my bold move. The alcohol is making me a little brave tonight. "Please do not ask me that again." I tell him seriously. "I do not like people looking down on me like I am weak." That was enough to get a laugh out of him. He grabs both sides of my face and pulls me down his face so we are an inch apart and now he is serious. "You...are far from weak." With that he closes the space between us, kissing me much slower and softly as I get lost in his touch. His hands start running down my back and he hardens below me again almost making me explode right there. "Eric," I moan and press into him trying to relieve the ache between my leg.

He freezes and I think I have done something wrong. Keeping his eyes closed and he swallowing hard, "You say my name like that again and I will not be able to stop myself from taking you right here." He gives me another quick kiss and I sigh knowing I should be good and stop. I go turn back around but he only lets me go halfway so I am sitting sideways on his lap. I sit, cradled in his arms and I settle for that laying my head on his chest.

We sit in a comfortable silence for a while and I wonder what this actually is. Does he want to be with me or is just a drunken almost hook-up. I want to ask him but I don't know how. I notice he is looking at the stars. He seems so relaxed and content, nothing like he normally is. I decide it is now or never. "Eric...what is this." He looks at me suddenly serious and tense again. "What do you mean?"

I am so nervous and the words come out fast, almost garbled. "I mean do you want to be with me...or is the just a hookup... or are you just playing with me cause I really don't think I could handle that and..." He stops me putting his finger on my lips and I feel tears threatening because I am so nervous about his answer. I swallow hard and fight back the tears. "Stop..." He says with an authoritative voice looking very serious.

"First of all, if this was just a 'hook-up', I sure in hell wouldn't have stopped myself earlier. I would have just took you against that wall without a second thought." I am shocked by his bluntness. "Although it did take every ounce of my self control to stop." He swallows loudly and takes a breath before continuing, "Second, I don't think you would be able to handle me playing with you either. I already apologized for the way I got you to talk. That really wasn't fair to you and for maybe the fifth time in my life, I felt bad for my actions."

He pauses again as if he is trying to organize his thoughts. "Finally, I have to tell you that I have had an unexplainable attraction to you for quite some time. You are extremely attractive but it is not just physically. The way you seem not to be intimidated by me, the way you challenge me, it pisses me off but at the same time I want you to keep doing it. I crave you in the craziest ways. I also struggle to maintain my self control around you which is not something I have had to deal with in a long time, it is frustrating. Let me tell you if you didn't punch John tonight, I probably would have. Even though I would probably be fired for my actions. I just couldn't help myself, when I saw him with his lips on you, it made me so angry. I was out of my seat before you even reacted. Thankfully you have really good reflexes, even in your drunken state, and you hit him before I could get to you." He laughs and I smack his chest. "But there is something else you really need to know." He has to take several more breathes and puts his head back against the wall before he continues. Confused by his sudden confession, I just sit quietly and wait.

"Danielle, I am not a normal kind of guy. I did not grow up knowing love and I don't even know if I am capable of it. Yet for some reason my body and mind is pulled to you and by some miracle, something deep inside you must feel it too. I don't know how else to explain why I can touch you while others can't, or why you still want to be around me after I have been such a jerk to you. As much as I hate to say it there is a good chance I will hurt you because I tend to fuck up anything good in my life. I know I have already hurt you when I force you to confess to me. I knew exactly what I was doing and I know I am an ass for that. Anyone here will tell you that it is just me, I love control and that want, gives me an asshole persona. I have tried to stay away from you because it is not fair to you but I have found it harder and harder. I guess tonight I have finally stopped trying to fight it, but we also still have to deal with the fact that we are here and I am your instructor. Technically there is no rule against it but it is frowned upon. Others cannot know about this."

I bit my lip repeating the word he just said in my head. _He wants to be with me_. His eyes find mine with a questioning look. He wants this and so do I, although he didn't exact say it that way, but it was good enough for me. His words explain so much over the last several weeks. I pull him down to me and kiss him lightly on his lips. "Works for me." His smile mirrors mine and he lets out a breath of relief I hadn't known he was holding. I lay my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat and staring at the stars. He begins rubbing his fingers lightly up and down my thigh and tilts his head back and stares into the sky.

* * *

I feel myself weightless, someone is carrying me. I am vaguely aware, but I feel Eric's strong arms under me holding me close. I hear Jeff's voice, in an angry whisper, but it seems far away. "You fucking asshole what did you do to her." Eric puts me down on what I assume is my bed pulling the blanket down as he slides his arms out from under me. I am suddenly sadden by the lost of his touch, but my eyes are too heavy to open. "I suggest you change your fucking tone with me cadet. Apparently some of you were getting drunk. She fell asleep when I was questioning her and now I am putting her in her bed since she is less than coherent. I will deal with her in the morning." He says forcefully in a whisper as he removes my shoes. "You wouldn't happen to know where she got it from do you?" _Crap._ "No sir. I don't." Jeff has calmed down and I hear him sit down on his bed. "Hmm. I didn't think so. Get your ass to sleep cadet before you get yourself into anymore trouble." He pulls my blanket up to my chin, his hand lingering on the blanket as he runs his finger down my cheek. I know it is his way of saying goodnight. Then he is gone and I let the darkness take me.

* * *

 **Well? I know I am horrible for teasing the crap out of you guys, sorry. But hey at least they are sort of together now right. Let me know you thoughts, I would love to hear them. Thanks again to all of you for your support. You guys are the greatest! Until next time.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Want some more, well here it is. This story is going to start getting more to an MA rating so please continue at your own risk. I really hope you like. And again I have to thank my reviewer. You guys are so awesome and I get excited to see your thoughts! Hope you like this next one, Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

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 **Chapter 17:**

 _(Sunday June 29th)_

My head is pounding as I hit my alarm clock trying to shut it off. I need more sleep. I feel Jeff push at me and I finally sit up. _Damn._ What the hell was I thinking getting drunk last night. My eyes fly open as all the night's memories come flooding back to me. I drank last night, I didn't mean to get drunk, I did not realize they had given me so much. John kissed me, and Eric, although the kiss with Eric was much better, and consensual. Damn he is a good kisser.

Eric and I were both drunk. I can't help but wonder if what he said last night was really true. I mean it has to be right, I just don't get it what he would see in me. I think about all his little comments the last few weeks, and the songs he put on my Ipod, the way he was withdrawn when I told him to stay away. I knew something was up with him, but I never thought in a thousand years it was because he might like me.

I also don't even know how to feel about what he said about love. I guess that is what he meant by his 'weakness' but how am I suppose to process that. If he really does like me, could I possibly be with someone that couldn't love me. I am still so confused.

Jeff pushes me off the bed and throws me a sweater and in a ironic twist, Patrick makes my bed quickly why Jeff sits me down on my chest to tie my shoes. I love these guys, they are great. We all rush outside and I realize I am not cold. I look down and remember I was 'put to bed' last night by Eric and a smile plasters across my face as Jeff drags me into formation. I try to stand up straighter and my eyes find Eric. He raises and amused eyebrow at me as I drag myself along and then faces forward as Max gives us our weekly rankings.

Paulo leads us in this mornings workout and Eric and Four are really on John this morning. He is sluggish presumably due to his hangover and I am thinking he was giving himself a little more than he was giving others. Well other than me, but it was giving Eric and Four the perfect fuel to yell at him. He has a nice size bruise on his jaw and I am proud of myself.

Working out this morning is makes me really nauseous. Zeke has told me to pick it up a few times, but Eric seems to be staying away from me. I push through it not wanting to draw attention to myself, but when we are finally dismissed, I run back into the dorm and barely make it to the toilet. "You ok Dani?" I hear Jeff shout as he comes into the bathroom. "Ya just please no loud noises I plead with him." He chuckles and walks away. _Ass._

When I am sure I have nothing left in my stomach I go over to my drawer and to pull out my toothbrush. When I open it there is a water bottle in it with a packet of advil taped to it and a note. I flip open the note, "Take these and drink the whole bottle of water. NOW!" Wow, he can be pushy even in a note, he didn't sign it but I know it was him. I roll my eyes but gladly take the advil. Drinking only a few sips of water to make sure it will stay down. When I am certain my stomach is ok, I finish the bottle of water and then brush my teeth.

I don't think I can eat right now but I don't want to get in trouble for missing breakfast. I decide to take a quick shower hoping the shower and clean close will make me feel a little better. I hurry and grab some cloths and throw my hair up in a messy bun since I don't have time to wash it. The hot water feels so good but I only have a few minutes to enjoy it. I wash up and dress quickly wanting to get to the mess haul to see Eric. I really do feel a little better now that I am clean but I am still really tired and the advil must not have kicked in yet because my head is still killing me. Hopefully I can take a nap today, looking at my schedule, my counseling session isn't right before dinner.

As usually, Jeff and Patrick walk with me to breakfast. When I walk into the mess haul, I expect to see Eric but he isn't there even though we are running a few minutes late. Zeke walks up behind me making me jump when he talks. "Dani, Eric will not be in for breakfast. He says you may dish your own food." I am so overwhelmed with disappointment that I don't know what say and when I stay quiet Zeke walks away. _That bites._ I really wanted to see him, but then again I really need to chill out, I was just with him less than 12 hours ago and I am not that clingy girl. Besides being here I need to get use to it, being no one can know about us. Not that I can do anything but something about that bothers me. I tell myself it isn't because he doesn't want to be seen with me, rather he can't be seen with me.

Jeff gives me a little shove toward the line and I comply. Ugh, I really don't want food. At least I don't have to eat much since Eric isn't dishing my food up. I grab a few pieces of toast, fruit and some coffee. We sit down and I start to nibble on my toast debating if I should just not eat at all.

"You better eat or Eric might just start hand feeding you." I laugh slightly as I think how much I might actually like that in a certain private setting. I pull away from my inappropriate thoughts. "Shut up Patrick. This is all your guys fault." He smiles. "Hey we were just having some fun. We didn't know you were going to go all Rhonda Rousey on John." Everyone at my table laughs including Zeke and Paulo. Apparently, it seems everyone thinks my actions were justified.

I wonder if the other instructors knew we were drinking. I look over to the other table at John and his head is hung low eating, not talking to anyone. I kinda feel bad for him. I mean, being knocked down is one thing but when it is by a girl, it is pretty demeaning. Not to mention, the extra attention during P.T. was no doubt due what happened. I should probably still be mad at him but I'm really not. He was just being a drunk idiot who that I he would be able to take advantage of a drunk girl. Unfortunately for him, he chose the wrong one, or maybe he just liked me and actually thought that was the best way to go about showing me. Either way not the best idea. Although it worked pretty damn well for Eric and I, not to mention it was that little incident that gave Eric and I to leave and go somewhere private. I am actually a little grateful.

I managed to get down two pieces of toast but I just couldn't eat the fruit. Jeff kept sneaking peices off my plate when no one was looking and by the end of breakfast it was gone despite me not eating any of it. He gives me a sly smile. I swear he can read my thoughts.

Today is cloudy and a little chilly so we go back to the dorm to work on our homework. I move the books and papers to my bed and get my Ipod out of my desk. I really want to get my work done as soon as possible because I really need to sleep. I am really happy I only have two left to do. I managed to complete my other homework during the week being it was very uneventful besides last night. I also noticed I am getting much more use to the exercise and it doesn't seem to make me as tired.

I turn on my music softly since my head is still pounding although it has dulled out due to the advil. I take on my math assignment first since it is easy. I look around at the guys and most of them look just a bit worn down. I am sure it has something to do with us all drinking last night. I smile a bit at the thought.

Tara still hasn't come back from mess haul duty. Her, John and Joseph ended up in the bottom three this week. I still didn't get the top two, I am assuming because of last night. Jeff was fourth from the bottom and him mouthing off to Eric pops into my head. He really has to stop sticking up for me all the time, it just gets him into trouble. I am surprised I remember Eric putting me to bed last night despite me being less than coherent. I close my eyes focusing on how I felt; I really loved the feeling of his arms around me and I can just imagine how they would feel around me as I slept. I still can't believe last night happened, but I am kind of worried because it is almost as if Eric is avoiding me. I wonder if he's having second thoughts about it. I really hope not. The way he kissed me last night was incredible.

There is only one other boy that I was ever able to get a little close too. About a year ago I dated a guy named Al. He was super sweet and cute, but he was kind of a weak, always getting picked on for being the smart, quiet kid. I think I felt less threatened by him, but he still was only able to touch my face and hair. Several times when we were kissing, he had put his hands on my arms or sides and I would freeze and have to take a minute before I was ok. He was really patient with me but I just couldn't get past it. After several months I told him I couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't fair to him to with someone as fucked up as me.

"Dani!" Patrick says and throws his eraser at me bringing me out of my little daydream. "What!" I glare at him. "Your falling asleep, lay down before you fall over." I want to laugh because he has no idea where my thoughts just were.

I turn my Ipod to a little heavier music to keep me awake and I focus on my work. It doesn't take long to finish my Math and I put it on my desk and then lay on my stomach and start reading my Technology book so I can write my paper on the advancement of technology over the last 40 years. The material really is boring.

* * *

"Hey," I hear Eric whisper in my ear. I open my eyes and Eric is sitting next to me on my bed. I think I fell asleep reading. He moves my hair out of my face. "You ok?" He ask trying to hide a smile. "Yes I am fine." I smile up at him and then sit up quickly realizing that someone might see us. Eric raises an eyebrow. "Where is everyone?" I ask him. "They are at lunch which is where you really should be since you only ate two pieces of toast for breakfast after a night of drinking." I roll my eyes at him. "Jeff came into my dorm and said you were sleeping and weren't feeling well and asked if he could just pick you up something. I told him you to let you sleep and that since you are MY cadet and I would check on you to make sure you ate. Funny enough he didn't seem to like my answer." His lips press into a line.

"Here," He hands me two more advil and another bottle of water. My headache was back but his presence had made me forget it temporarily. I take it graciously and drink a small bit of water. "The whole bottle," he demands. "Yes sir." I roll my eyes and laugh at his controlling nature thinking about what he said last night about having control. I drink the rest of it, not because he ask but because I am really dehydrated anyway. He smiles as I comply.

"So where were you for breakfast?" I ask curiously. "Well I figured you may want to pick your breakfast this morning after your stomach got the best of you. If I was there, everyone would expect me to get you the normal portions and watch you until you finished it. I don't think you would have been able to finish it." He laughs a little. "It isn't funny!" I pout as I push at his arm.

"Besides I had a report I had to write to explain our little quiet time last night. I am not the most creative person so it took me a second to come up with a believable story." He bits the inside of his lip and it make me remember something from last night. I couldn't really be sure, I was a little drunk and everything was a bit of a shock last night. I look up at him curious again.

"What?" he ask me looking a little worried. I am almost embarrassed to ask. "What?" he says a little more forceful and even though I am trying to see I can't tell. I look down trying to hide my smile, "Is you tongue pierced?" He doesn't answer causing me to look back up. He is smiling at me, "Here let me answer you question." He pulls me over to him and kiss gently. I feel something hard run across my top lip. Shit I knew that is what I felt. He is still smiling. "All the times I have stared at your mouth how did I never see that?" _Shit._ I just said that out loud and I feel my cheeks get hot and I bit my bottom lip.

His eyes darken a bit and he grabs my chin, kissing me again a little more forceful but he doesn't stop this time. I grab his neck with my hand not wanting him to stop. He deepens the kiss and desire explodes through my body again. My other hand finds his hair and I pull hard lost in the pleasure of his hand running down my back. "Fuck" he whispers in a low sexy voice that hits me right between my legs. I move to my knees intending to move to his lap but somehow he slides me under him pinning me to my bed. I press my pelvis up needing relief as he hardens against me. His lips leave mine and move down my neck as his hand moves under my shirt.

I pause for a moment because I am worried. I don't have a big chest like many girls and I immediately feel self conscious. He stops and looks up at me looking worried too. "Too fast?" he questions and it occurs he is is talking about. "No...um I just...I just...have never really been comfortable with my body." I say completely embarrassed looking away from his eyes. "Hey," he turns my face back to meet my eyes, "You definitely have nothing to be embarrassed about. You are fucking beautiful." I roll my eyes knowing he is just being nice. "Hey." he says more stern, "I am serious." He looks me up and down and smiles slightly, "Trust me, I would be a very happy man if I could just kiss every part of you right now." He says with lust in his voice as he starts kissing my neck again, "Just relax princess," he whispers in my ear and I can feel his smile on my neck. His reference making me smile.

I close my eyes and let his expert lips kiss away all my thoughts. His hand goes under my shirt and this time I stay relaxed. As his hand moves over my breast he moans against my neck and the ache between begins to throb as he moves his mouth next to my ear. "I fucking want you soo much right now." I think I am going to die right here and now from desire.

Before I can respond, he suddenly jumps up. "Shit!" I look at him confused as he adjust his pants looking pissed and irritated at the same time. Then I hear voices getting closer. He gives me a quick kiss holding my chin for just a second and then winks at me and walks toward the bathroom quickly.

 _Fuck!_ I swear this man is going to kill me by driving me crazy. I sit up quickly trying to gain my composure as Mike and Huck walk in the dorm. I just glare at them, I don't mean to but I can't help it. I grab my book that is still laying on my bed and start reading. Patrick and Jeff come in too a minute and I am glad I had a minutes to calm down because they would know something was up immediately.

"Good, he brought you something?" I follow Jeff's eyes and see there is one of those Rev wraps along with a bottle of apple juice. "I was going to get you something but he said he would 'fucking deal with it', so I didn't push it." He puts his fingers up quoting Eric. I am trying to hold back a smile picturing him saying it. "I know he is so hell bent on making sure you eat now, so I figured he would bring you something. So do you feel better."

I smile, "Yep," is all I can get out thinking of what just happened a few minutes ago and really it did make me feel better. Although I imagine he is feeling less than comfortable right now getting that excited twice in the last 24-hours without a release can't be feeling too good. I may have never been with a guy but I hang out with them a lot and they never did hold their tongues just because I was around. Matter of fact, I've learned a great deal about guys and the way their minds work.

I get up needing to use the bathroom and as I walk my eyes skim over the wall and stop where the camera is. _Damn._ I never thought about the camera. I wonder if someone watches that all the time. Is he able to block it or erase it or something. I try to act normal even though I am freaking out at the thought. I walk into the bathroom and freeze. Eric is coming out of the shower in just shorts and has goose bumps on his arms. I look him up and down with a big smile plastered on my face knowing exactly why he is taking a shower in the middle of the day.

I bit my lip trying to hold in the laughter. "Cold shower?" and I can't help it, I have to laugh a little. He gets a cute smirk on his face. "Funny is it?" I can't say anything because I am trying not to laugh. His face turns more serious and he sucks is lower lip in his mouth, his eyes darkening as he walks toward me. He wouldn't, not in here where people can come walking in.

Before I can even finish the thought, Royce comes in going to one of the bathroom stalls. Eric immediately stands up straighter completely composed and he walks past me with a wink and whispers, "Careful," as way of a threat. As soon as Eric is out of the room I hurry into the stall to calm myself down. _Damn he is good._

Once I calm down I go back to our dorm and sit down to finish my homework. I eat my ham and cheese wrap because I am actually really hungry now that the nausea is gone. I scan over the 50 page chapter and write my essay. I know a lot of what is in the chapter and I tell myself I will actually read it properly this coming week so that I don't get behind. But I really want to finish it before I have my session with the shrink and dinner. I know that Eric usually works out in the gym after dinner and I plan on running into him.

 _Geez,_ I roll my eyes at myself, who's the stalker now. I turn my music up and focus on the paper.

I finish my paper with 10 minutes to spare. I organize all my papers in my binder, clean up my desk and grab my Ipod. I head over to the classrooms and take my time walking around the path instead of through the grass. When I reach the building I am still a few minutes early so I sit on the outside step and wait for who ever is done to come out. I pull out my Ipod and turn it on. 'End of Me' by A Day to Remember comes on and I lean back against the side rail and stare into the sky trying to clear my mind before I have to go in and talk.

I listen to the song and it is kinda depressing. Half way through I yank my buds out and just stare at the sky. I don't know why but I just don't want to hear that right now. After a minute John opens the door and I stand to let him by. He doesn't look at me, he just walks out into the court yard. He doesn't seem in a good mood, but then again, he was just talking to a shrink. I take a deep breath and walk in.

"Good Afternoon Dani," She greets me as I walk in. I give her a tight smile and shake her hand. "Hello Lynn."

We go over and sit down. "So I hear you had an interesting night last night." Shit, of course John would have explained why he had a bruise on his face. "Umm, ya well what can I say that he hasn't." She gives me a tight smile. "All the same I would like to hear your side." I sigh. I guess, it is better than talking about the alternative that she has been trying to get at. I am about to start and glance up and corner and I suddenly realize something.

"Are there camera's in here too?" She looks at me confused, Maybe I am not suppose to know about them. "Why would you ask me that?" She ask now curious. Truth is I really don't want people sitting there watching what I say about my life, especially once these conversation get a little deeper and at some point I may accidentally say something about Eric. She is still looking at me expecting an answer. "Well I just know that they have camera's in some of the buildings and I don't feel comfortable talking about this if someone is listening. I don't want to get in trouble or anything." I hope it comes out convincing enough.

She nods her head. "There are actually is a camera in here but they are required to be off when we have our sessions. Patient confidentiality applies here just as anywhere else. What you say to me will not leave this room with out your permission. Ok?"

I nod my head feel a lot better. I continue to tell her exactly what had happen with us drinking all though I left out who was actually drinking besides John and I since I felt it wasn't and important part of the issue. I also stopped after I told her 'Eric escorted me back to the dorm'. I didn't tell her that we didn't actually go into the dorm or that we had a bit of a hot make out session. I am not ready to talk about that shit either. Really it is none of her business anyway. It doesn't have anything to do with why I am here.

"So really this time it wasn't as much as he touched you as it was that he kissed you and it was unwelcome?" I nod my head, "Ya, pretty much. I guess he picked the wrong girl to take advantage of." I smile because I am proud of sticking up for myself. "And that is why you think he did it?" She raises an eyebrow. _Shit._ I know right away by her reaction that it isn't true. "Damn, it wasn't that was it. He liked me." She looked at me slyly, "I can't reveal my conversation with him but if you have something on your conscience, it may be good for you to talk to him about it." Great now I feel bad because she just basically confirmed my thoughts. "Well either way, it is not how he should have went about it." She chuckles. "Well that is something we can agree on. Well looks like our time is up. Did you have any last questions?" I shake my head and get up to leave, shaking her hand.

I smile as I exit the room. I managed to get through another session fairly easily. Patrick, Jeff and Huck are out in the court yard throwing the football around and I decide to join them. I yell to Jeff to throw me the ball he does as everyone slowly starts changing positions so we are standing in a square. The weather has turned into partly sunny and this is a relaxing distraction while we wait for dinner. I have always been pretty good throwing and kicking a football. Huck seems pretty impressed. "Nice arm, and not just for a girl."

"Thanks." I say with a smile a little embarrassed. As if showing me off Jeff jumps in. "Ya she has always been good, watch this." He says as he runs over to me with the ball. "Common just like the old days." He tells me as he hands me the ball and gets ready to run. I uses to help the boys practice when they played youth football. I nod and grab the ball with both hands, "Ready, go!" I take several steps back and when he sprints pretty far down field then cuts right and I throw the ball hard in a nice spiral. He catches it easily. I always wondered why he never continued playing, he is fast on his feet. Jeff throws his hands in the air and Huck applauds our little demonstration. I laugh out a pure joy and my eyes are drawn to the side of the field where I hear shouts of 'nice' and 'damn'. I realized several other people watched it as well including Eric. My eyes find his. He looks impressed and my face heats up with embarrassment. Jeff has run back over to me. "Again?"

"Umm, I think we have shown off my impressive skills to enough people. Lets eat dinner." I am not doing that again with everyone watching. He throws the ball back to Huck. "Sounds good." We go into the mess haul and he goes to get food. Before I can sit Eric stops me. "Well aren't you multi-talented." I can tell he is hiding a smile and my face heats up again. "I think you can start serving up yourself again if you can promise me you will eat." I am surprise by the jester. I smile, "I promise I will eat." I say to him too happy. We both walk over to get food. I actually get more than he would normally serve be because I really haven't ate much today, not to mention I completely emptied my stomach this morning. I am really hungry. As we go to sit down, I see a slight smile on his face as he looks at my tray.

I sit down next to Jeff in my normal spot and Eric sits on the other side of me. As soon as we are settled in our seat Eric presses his leg against mine and I hold in the smile. Royce sits across from us complimenting me on my throwing skills and talk of Football erupts at our table taking the attention off me which is how I like it. As always Eric finishes quickly and gets up to leave quietly. I finish up my food trying to keep up with the guys conversation. We get up to put our trays away; the guys are going to back to the dorm and I tell Jeff I am going to go to the gym for a while to blow off some steam. "You ok. Is the shrink getting to you." I nod. It isn't exactly a lie, I don't like talking to her either. "Alright I will see you in a bit, and this time where gloves." I roll my eyes. You would think I was a damn doll the way these guys treat me sometimes.

I head into the gym hoping to talk to Eric. Speaking to Lynn about the camera's also made me think of our little make out session in the dorm. When I walk in I see him already punching at a bag in his tank top. His arms and chest are so freaking hot. Unfortunately Paulo is in here too lifting weights. I walk over to the equipment cage and grab a pair of gloves and then go over to the bags. "You ok?" Eric ask. "Umm ya, I just wanted to work out some frustrations." He fights a smile, "So you didn't just some in to see me." He says sarcastically.

I give him a pointed look, "Hey my world doesn't just revolve around you." He smirks, "OK. Please continue." I turn to the bag and start punching. "So what's wrong, Lynn hit a sore spot?" I glance at him and then at Paulo before I start hitting the bag again. Paulo is far enough away he can't hear us. "In a way yes." He pauses for a moment, "Really?" He is curious now. "Well I obviously didn't say it to her but I am wondering about the camera in the dorm and what happened earlier."

He laughs as he goes back to punching. "Oh, don't worry about that, I saved that for my own personal viewing. You know like when I need to see you and can't." I stop and my mouth actually falls open. He stares at me with a straight face. "Your serious?" I can't believe he would actually do that much less tell me he would. _Holy Shit._ Finally he breaks and starts laughing, like full on laughing. I just look at him. "You don't really think I would do that do you?"

"Your such an ass." I tell him and got back to punching the bag but with more conviction this time. I noticed Paulo looking over at us. Eric goes back to punching his bag too and Paulo focuses on what he is doing. "He has headphones in don't worry. And for the record I prefer the real thing" Eric informs me. "I was just kidding about the camera feed. I can't change the video feeds without someone knowing it was me. I do however know how to loosen the wire in the utility closet in the dorm to mess up the feed. It didn't take Will long to figure out it was a loose wire and fix it. Thankfully that also covered our conversation in the bathroom. Although that is not something I will be able to do often."

I relax a bit knowing it wasn't on some camera recording somewhere. "That brings up another point though. There are camera's in every building including this one. The camera is kiddy corner from us up pretty high so it can see us but would not pickup quiet talking across the room. We are too far away but be careful what you say in the buildings ok?" I nod my head and keep punching. "There are also cameras on the buildings outside although those don't have microphones on them. During the day if you look close you can see the sun on the lenses but at night they have red lights." I nod my head again. Then I slow down my punches, "The camera's don't show us in the showers do they?" He chuckles, "Of course not, that is why they have high walls. and why the toilets have doors instead of those flimsy swinging doors that you can see through anyway."

Wow he sure is being informative today. Eric suddenly moves over to me and I freeze because Paulo is still in here. He smiles and looks into my eyes. He pushes my elbow up a bit so it is closer to my cheek, "You need to make sure to cover your face. Punch." I look back toward the bag and punch. "Again." I do and he moves his large hand to my abs. Fire breaks out as his hand connects with my stomach. "I told you to tighten these muscles. It is important to build your core. Again." If anyone didn't know better they would think he was in full instructor mode but I know better. I punch but I don't stop I keep going because I need to release this pent up tension. When he seems satisfied, he releases me and goes back to his own bag.

After a while I get tired and it is clear Paulo isn't giving up so soon so I decide to go back to the dorm. "See ya at P.T. I tell him with a smile." He nods his head and smiles as I leave.

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I really couldn't talk to Eric after our workout without making it look obvious. I am a little sadden that I can't say goodnight. I just took a very hot relaxing show which felt really good. I go to get my toothbrush and there is a little sticky note on it. 'Night Princess' I can't help but smile wide, but then I remember the camera and I ball it in my hand. I brush my teeth and when I rinse my mouth I grab a paper towel to dry my hands and slyly put the sticky note in the paper towel before throwing it away.

I go in and lay down thinking about our little nicknames and it is funny because really we are the opposite. I am definitely no princess and he is by far prince charming!

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 **Well there is another one. You guys hate me yet? I just didn't feel right having them jump into something like that but be patient. Please let me know your thoughts and/or comments. They are always welcome. Until next time!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Here is another Eric's POV that I know some of you are craving. Hope I answered all your questions. Thanks again to my faithful reviews, you know who you are. I love your enthusiasm and can't thank you enough for the encouragement. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

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 **Chapter 18:**

 _(Wednesday July 1st)_

 **Eric POV**

 _Shit._ "Zeke can't you keep tabs on you fucking cadets?" I shout at him as I jog over to Leeann. She is collapsed just inside the tree line after her tracker activated. Joseph is standing a few feet away, afraid to move any further. "What the hell were you doing?" I am pretty sure I know. Zeke was too busy talking to Huck to notice that Leeann and Joseph were trying to sneak off together. Although I don't have much room to talk, I was paying attention to Danielle talking to Royce, getting a little irritated, that I couldn't be the reason for that cute smile on her face. I shake off the thought.

I have warned these the cadets every time we leave not to get to far away from us. I don't understand why they insist on pressing the limits. "I didn't do anything I swear. She told me to follow her but I swear we weren't trying to run, we just wanted, you know, some privacy and then she collapsed." I roll my eyes. "Fucking idiots!" I say to myself but loud enough he can hear me. I roll her from her side to her back and check her pulse. Zeke makes his way over with the rest of the cadets. "She good?" He ask, but before I can answer Joseph opens his big mouth. "What do you mean good, she just fainted you asshole, what the hell do these bracelets do to us." His tone and attitude combined with my climbing irritation was enough to make me snap.

I jump up and get in his face. "That tracker is the only thing that gives you the little bit of fucking freedom you get. So I suggest you be a little more damn appreciative you fucking piss ant. And it did exactly what it is suppose to do, which is to keep idiots like you in line when they can't follow the fucking rules. Now go sit your ass down and shut up the fuck up before I lose my temper." I honestly think this kid is going to piss himself but I really don't care. Shit I wasn't even yelling, maybe I raised my voice a little but I have done worse. I see Zeke roll his eyes at my actions. I am famous for being the asshole instructor of the group. I wasn't lying when I said that to Dani.

I see Leeann starting to stir just a bit. I let out a deep breath and go pick her up putting my arm under her shoulder and the other under her legs and take her back out to the large rock on patch of grass next to the John Wayne Trail and set her upright against it. It is going to take her a few more minutes to actually wake up fully.

I look down the seemingly endless trail. This trail actually goes on for 253 miles. I always have wanted to hike this trail but haven't got around to it. My eyes find Dani's. I wonder if he would ever want to do that with me. I look away quickly trying to control my thoughts, this is not the place or time for day dreaming but I can't help but see the look of disappointment on her face as I look away.

I look toward the trail that splits off going down to our camp and I really want this girl to wake up because I am not in the mood to carry her back. "Zeke, text Max that there has been an incident but everything is under control and that we will be a few minutes late. Keep it short, we don't need him freaking out." I look back at her and she is starting to become more coherent.

The Methohexital doesn't last long and doesn't have any long term effects but is very efficient. It only takes about a minute to work and then the person is put into a sort of trans losing all control of their limbs. After about 5 minutes they become fully awake again and are fully recovered after 30 minutes although we tend to monitor them a bit longer just to be sure. It is actually the same stuff they use on people in the ER to reset bones without having to put them under general anesthesia. It works perfectly for us because it puts the cadets down safely giving us time to get to them.

"Leeann, can you hear me?" I ask and she looks toward me a little confused. "I need you to focus." I try to get her to focus on my face. "Is she going to be ok?" Joseph ask and I just give him a dirty look and turn back to her. "Can you tell me what day it is?" She blinks at me for a minutes and smiles. "Yep, it is hiking day with our hot instructor. But he is kind of a jerk." I have to bit back the annoyance. "Really and who might that be?" I ask her with a raised eyebrow. She looks at me and realizes what she just said. "Umm, I mean today is Wednesday. What just happened?"

"You just broke the fucking rules cadet. I have told you not to stray from the group. Next time fucking listen." I stand up and turn toward Zeke. "She is fine. We will give her about 10 minutes and then we will start back slowly. You need to make sure you watch her this fucking time." I walk several feet to another large rock and lean against it looking down the long trail. I hear Zeke behind me mumble under his breath. "What-the-fuck-ever mister perfect." I smile slightly but pretend I didn't hear it. I usually don't mind that people think I am an asshole. Except Danielle of course.

I am really going against my better judgment with her but I can't help it. Just looking at her does all kind of crazy things to me these days. I had managed to stay back for a while but that night at the bonfire, I lost all kinds of sense. First I see another guy kissing her and my rage went through the roof. I fully intended on beating the shit out of him, but she beat me to it, and I was so fucking turned on that the beautiful woman right in front of me had just knocked a guy much larger than her down on his ass. When I realized I was already behind her I knew I just needed to get her alone. Not just because I knew she needed to calm down but also because I needed to compose myself.

As we walked back to the dorms all I could think about was that I needed to talk to her but I didn't want our conversation on camera. I decided to take her to the spot where I go when I can't sleep. I usually just sit there and stare at the stars. It helps me clear my head and forget about all the fucked up shit around me. But when we got over there she completely threw me off when she apologized. At first I was so confused as to why the hell she would apologize when she was the one being sexually harassed. Knowing her secret, what he did must have been difficult for her. When she told me she thought she was wrong for hitting him it actually made me mad. I wanted to know how she was, I didn't give a fuck about him.

With my hand on her chin she had looked deep in my eyes and desire started to build inside me. An internal struggle had begun inside my head. Yes she was 18 now but she was a cadet, and I really am an asshole, she deserves better than that. She leaned into me with so much want in her eyes and I thought maybe she would kiss me first and I really wanted her too. When she stopped in realization of what she was doing and started to lean back I about died. I wanted her to kiss me, I wanted to know what her lips felt like, everything that I had been daydreaming about the last few weeks came flooding in me all at once and I could not control myself anymore.

I closed the distance between us and when she kissed me back I about lost my mind. I couldn't help but think how the hell did such a pretty little thing still like me after everything I did to her. It felt so good to have her hands wrapped around me and when she pulled at my hair all I could think about was how much I wanted her right there. I was so lost in the moment I almost didn't realized that I had picked her up and her legs were around me, that was until the uncomfortable hardening in my pants which only got worse. The pain actually brought me back for long enough to realize I couldn't be with her that night, not like that. Although her smart mouth did make it was clear she sure wanted it. I was pretty pissed at myself for not having a condom on me but it isn't something i would normally need to carry at camp. Looking back though I am sure it was probably good that I didn't; I am a jerk but I am not totally insensitive.

She sure didn't make it easy for me though. When she had turned around and straddled me I was completely taken aback by her boldness, and her demanding demeanor was such a turn on, and when she fucking moaned my name like that, I thought I was going to lose it right there. I actually had to warn her because I really didn't think I couldn't handle hearing that again.

I realize that my thoughts are making me hard again. Thankfully I'm facing away from everyone. I adjust my pants just as Zeke speaks up. "We about ready." Shit, I need a few minutes. _Dammit._ I look over at Leeann then back at Zeke. "She looks like she needs a few more minutes." I say coolly. She really looked fine but it was a perfect cover." He looks at her and then shrugs his shoulders. He can be such and idiot sometimes.

I chance looking at her again. She is sitting next to Royce staring at the sky. Royce seems to be talking to her but she looks lost in thought. I really wish the fucking idiot would get away from her. I don't think he likes her like that but I still don't fucking like it. A smile spreads across her face and what I wouldn't give to know what she was thinking. She looks over at me and I am caught. I give her a half smile and look away before anyone sees. I really have had to be more careful.

When Jeff had come in, the next day after the bonfire, I actually became really worried about her. I knew she had gotten sick after P.T. I actually couldn't even believe that made it though it. She definitely is not weak. I really hate that she actually has to try to convince herself that she is not. She ends up pushing herself too hard to prove it. I had really want to tell her she could skip breakfast but it would have been way too obvious. Everyone has seen my extreme mood swings lately and that would have totally given it away, so I skipped breakfast instead so she could dish up her own. I was happy when I watched her actually eat something, even if it was only a couple pieces of toast.

And that fucking little friend of hers that sat there eating her fruit has been getting on my nerves too. Unlike Royce his actions are not all innocent. Even if he doesn't admit it to himself, he likes her, a lot. I am actually not sure how she doesn't see it. The couple of nights I seen him lay at the top of her bed comforting her, I just wanted to die. Once she falls a sleep he always kisses her head and looks at her with such longing eyes. Why he hasn't told her how he feels is beyond me, as is how she is oblivious to all of it. I swear that boy would jump off a building if she asked. I thought that since we are mostly together now she would distance herself from his overprotective ways but she hasn't. I am starting to really think she has no idea of his feeling.

He seriously irritated me that day he came in before lunch too. If it wasn't for my concern for her I would have run him in the ground for talking to me the way he did. Demanding that I needed to let her sleep and that he would make sure she ate. It didn't help my cause that I got extremely defensive telling him that she was 'my cadet'. Of course the implication was that she was 'all mine' in my head. Paulo had looked at me a little funny and I reeled in my temper playing it off that I didn't like his tone.

I am glad I was smart enough to disable the cameras before I went in. I knew that was probably not a good idea and that I wouldn't have long before Will came to investigate. Not only did I want to make sure she was really ok but I also had been yearning to touch her again, to be able to kiss her hair like I had seen Jeff do and not worry someone would see. I probably sat there on her bed for 20 minutes just staring at her before I woke her. She was sleeping so peacefully and when I kissed her hair I felt that odd pull inside me again.

I just wanted to hold her in my arms again just like the night before. Sitting there with her head on my chest, feeling the rise and fall of her breaths, I had never felt so content in my life. I continued to sit there long after she fell asleep in my arms. I just didn't want to let her go.

It is only going to be a matter of time before she realizes I who I really am and she will not want anything to do with me. How can she love someone that can never love her back.

I am brought back to now by some of the cadets laughing and pushing each other around. I am good, we should go. I walk over to Leeann. "Stand up." She does and she looks pretty sturdy. "Any dizziness? nausea?" She thinks about it for a second. Christ it isn't a difficult question, I wait irritably.

"I think I am ok." Thank goodness for small favors. "Fine, lets head back. We will take it slow. Leeann do not leave Zeke's side. As for the rest of you, I hope you learned something. Lets go!" I don't wait for the rest of them, I just start toward the trail to go back and everyone jumps up.

I smile when I sense Dani beside me. I brush my arm against her shoulder to let her know, I know she there and I see her smile out of the corner of my eye. I decide to have a little fun with her since we are lost in our own world in front of everyone. I was so amused when she shyly asked me if my tongue was pierced but I never got around to letting her see it. It had turned me on thinking about what I could to her with it. We had kind of got lost in the moment until we were so rudely interrupted. I also owed her one for that 'cold shower' scene. Granted she was right and I was a little surprise she understood given her limited male contact, but I fucking ached so bad after I left her on her bed I had to take a cold shower and get myself under control. It didn't help that I hadn't met up with Lynn since two weeks before camp started. Again I had been glad the cameras weren't working although Will came in while I was dressing to check on the wires. I knew it wouldn't take him long.

I wait patiently until she looks at me. When she does I casually reach up and stick out my tongue and pull on the barbell holding it for just a minute as I look at her without moving my head. I let it go and then bitting on it showing her the ball on top. It is clear but you can see it quite easily when it isn't in my mouth. Her eyes get big and she looks at me in shock. I let it go and suck in my lip biting on it and I see the lust cross her eyes as she looks down trying to control herself. She changes the way she walks for just a second and I can tell I hit home. I can't help but grin at her. I seem to have such and effect on her body it is pure joy to me. Most girls swoon at my good looks and well toned body and I don't give it a second thought but when I see the effect I have on her it actually turns me on.

"Jerk." She says quietly with a smile on her face. "I never said I wasn't." She looks up at me and rolls her eyes and I can't take the grin off my face. It really sucks that I haven't been able to spend any time alone with her since then. Granted it isn't from a lack of trying. I have been thinking over and over in my head trying to find a reason but there wasn't an opportunity and Paulo is already watching me.

The night we had our impromptu meeting at the gym, Paulo had been there. He already knew something had been going on with me. Of everyone, he is the only one that knows me, even if it is just a little. That day she confessed to me and then pushed me away had actually upset me quite a bit. When I went back inside leaving her on the stage, I pulled up the camera and watched her. Paulo had picked up on my fowl mood after almost two hours and had try to talk to me but I didn't want to talk. I told him I was going to the gym and got up and left. Once in the gym I watched her as she went back into the dorm. I had so much anger and confusion in me I started hitting the bag and didn't stop until Paulo had text me that she had freaked out.

I rushed back and he told me what happened and then looked curiously at me when he saw my hands. They were red and bleeding, even though I was wearing gloves the chaffing of the fabric over several hours had done a number on my hands. I just struggled it off as if it was nothing and went and took a shower to avoid further questioning. It didn't help things either that week as I was trying to stay away from her. I didn't just withdraw from her, it was from everyone including him. Then all the sudden I was ok. He knew something was wrong. I think the icing on the cake was in the gym. He always listens to his music loud. I usually do too but I forgot my headphones that day. That night, he told me that he had seen me laugh at something she said and that he had never seen me smile like that. He begged me to tell him what I was laughing at but I wouldn't budge. He knew something was up. I had a feeling he'd saw me laughing which is why I tried to pretend I was correcting her, although inside me I really just wanted to touch her again. After he confronted me, that I knew I had to be more careful.

After the note I left for her on her toothbrush, I didn't chance it again. I just hope she got the ironic connection to the little nickname she'd gave me her first weeks here. As we close in on camp I put a little more space between us. Honestly I don't think Paulo would care or say anything but I would rather be safe than sorry. I see her smile falterer at my actions but I have to do this. I hope she understands. I need to find some time for us to be alone. I want this to work but I am not sure how we are going to do this. We reach camp, and I quietly whisper, "Princess," as if saying goodbye and the smile reappears on her face. I compose my face and stop to wait for Zeke and then escort Leeann to the infirmary so Marlene can check her out.

When we walk in Max is already there waiting and I am instantly irritated. "Everything is fine Max." He gives me a pointed look. "Really, and how did a cadet's tracker manage to go off?" I knew he would freak. "She's fine." I say trying to reel in my frustration. I guide her over to the medical chair and then go outside not wanting to finish this conversation here. Max follows me and we go to his office. Once we are inside he starts up again. "So what the fuck happened?"

"Zeke wasn't watch his cadets. They tried to sneak off to have a make out session and got too far away." I know he is going to ask it. I have already come up with an answer. "And where the fuck were you?" I smile inwardly at my accuracy. "I was watching my own cadets." It was technically true. I was watching one of them at least. He looks at me still irritated. "Are you ok Eric? You seemed to be distracted lately. If you need some time please tell me because if you are here I need you 100%. It is our responsibility to take care of these teens and I take my job seriously." I roll my eyes and shake my head, even he has noticed. There is no point in trying to deny something was wrong. "I am fine Max. I had an issue and I resolved it. I'm good." I really hope he believes me because I do not want to take time off. After a minute he shakes his head. "Fine. I expect a full written report of today's incident on my desk by tomorrow." I go to walk out. "Will do Max. See ya." Before I close the door Max stops me. "Eric. I need to see you tomorrow evening to go over Saturday's Events." I nod my head and close the door.

 _Shit._ This girl is making me weak. _Get yourself together Eric. You are stronger than this!_

* * *

 **Soo...Hope you liked this. Please let me know what you think. I always appreciate all of them. Have good one. Until next time.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey Everyone. I am going to keep saying it. You are all amazing and has inspired me so much to continue this. Thank you again to everyone who has reviewed. I try to reply as much as possible and thank you to the guest reviewers. Here is another chapter. Again I had to split it in two because it ended up being so long. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 19:**

 _(Saturday July 4th)_

I don't want to get up today. This week has been dragging on so bad partly because I haven't actually got to spend anytime with Eric. I really hope his distancing is just him being cautious. I have also been bothered by his ridiculous mood swings that are driving me nuts. First he is happy and playful, then he is irritable and cranky. Sometimes I feel that warm connection from him and then other times he seems so cold. Beyond frustrating.

I was shocked at how he reacted Wednesday when Leeann set off her tracker. He seemed pretty pissed off and had no problem letting Leeann and Joseph know exactly how he felt. Then on the way back I about died when he was playing with his barbell showing it off to me. I know he did that on purpose to get me all riled up and that is exactly what happened. But then, ever since we came back to camp, he seems even more distant and I wonder if he got in trouble for what happened. I mean it wasn't his fault but it really doesn't explain why he has barely acknowledged me the last couple of days. He almost seems to be in full instructor mode in a camp that I don't exist. I have been racking my brain wondering if maybe I did something wrong, but I can't think of anything.

"Come on Dani. Where's my pushy little girl?" I look up at Jeff annoyed. "Little Girl?"

"Ok so maybe your not such a little girl anymore." He says with a sheepish grin. I roll my eyes, I am not in the mood. I drag myself out of bed and make it up real quick. We go out to the stage and Eric and Max are out there. _Great, Now what!_ Once we are in formation Max steps forward.

"Good morning cadets. Because today is the 4th of July we will being doing things a little different. The rest of the world celebrates the 4th and so it is only fitting we do as well. After your evening classes, we will be taking a field trip to town to join in on the festivities. They have a festival on main street throughout the day and into the evening and then a big firework show at night. You will have a normal schedule up through your last class and then we will be boarding the vans to go to town where you will be able roam around and join the festival. Now we have a good relationship with this town and I expect all of you to be on your best behavior. I will not be happy if we are banned from this in the future. Also, don't get any ideas. Your trackers will be set to go off if you stray to far from your instructors or staff members and by now I am sure you all know what that means. All instructors will be in charge of their own groups and addition staff members will be teaming up with each instructor, while Tori and I roam around providing assistance as needed. Now this is meant to be fun so everyone behave and we will all have a good time." Max finishes his speech and everyone is instantly buzzing.

I want to be happy but I am not sure what today is going to bring. We are hanging out in groups which mean zero chance of my getting to spend some time alone time with him. As I walk back to the dorm, I glace over at Eric and he is fiddling concentrating hard on his tablet. I should really just be happy, at least I will get to spend this evening with him. Even if it is with a bunch of people.

* * *

Instead of hiking today, we climbed the big rock wall behind the gym which was kind of exciting. Our stray from our normal hike can't be due to the weather because It is a beautiful and warm day, not a cloud in the sky, so I figure they just didn't want anymore problems right before we leave. The day has actually gone by quicker than expected and I am a little more excited to be going on our little field trip. At least we are going to get to go out and do something fun; and I really do love fireworks. Sitting here in our technology class which is the last class of the day has turned into more of a tell-all from Tris about what to expect. She said they had all kinds of food stands and booths that we will be able to explore and there are a few carnival rides. I haven't been to a carnival since I was a kid. It seems like it will be really fun.

It also helped a little that Eric had to put help me in and out of the climbing harness during our class earlier. His hands had lingered a bit longer than needed on my hips and legs and the contact sent chills through me. When I had went to leave for the next class he had given me a sly wink and I couldn't help but smile.

Tris wraps up class and tells us we have 15 minutes to get ready to go. "Can I take my Ipod?" I ask. "Yes that is fine, but I would be careful not to lose it." I give her an nod of acknowledgement and I walk back to the dorm with our class.

I see John kind of walking to the side of everyone. I have really meant to talk to him but haven't really had a chance. I don't want to have enemies here and Lynn told me I should talk to him. Now is as good of time as any. I make my way over to him. "Hey John." He looks at me curiously. "Uh, hi." I can tell he is a little shocked by my presence.

"You know we really never talked about what happened the other night." I really hope we can just get pass this. He doesn't say anything so I continue, "We have to be here for another few months and it does no good for us to sit here and be upset with one another." He finally stops as we near the dorm and looks at me. I can still see the faded coloring on his jaw, but I try to ignore it and look him in the eyes. He takes a few deep breaths as if he is trying to get up his courage. "You right. I was an ass for trying to kiss you like that. I guess the alcohol got the best of me. I really have a hard time talking to girls and I kind of liked you and didn't know how to tell you. I promise that I never intended to take it any further, I just wanted you to know I liked you."

I give a small chuckle only because I think of what happened after I left. "Well I am sorry for hitting you. It was just a reflex reaction, in case you haven't heard, I really don't like people touching me." He finally smiles. "So I've heard, or should I say now, I've seen." I smile and see Eric watching me from the office. "So does this mean we can be friends now." John ask nervously. "Sure. But let me be clear. I am not interested in anything but friendship." He puts his hands up in defense, "Hey I'll behave in the future, promise." I give him a quick nod, "I have to run in and grab some stuff. I will see you later." I tell him. "ok, see ya."

We turn our separate ways and head off to our dorms. Before I walk in I look back at Eric and he is still staring at me, looking almost angry. _What now?_ I push the thought aside and go to grab my Ipod and use the restroom before we leave.

Jeff, and Patrick walk with me to the front of camp where there are a bunch of people standing in front a small bus that says Dauntless Bootcamp on the side. There are three people I have never seen before spread out between the staff and they are all wearing the camp uniform and all the staff has matching black backpacks. Max steps up on the first step of the bus and waits for everyone to be quiet.

"Good Afternoon. Listen up closely because I will only say this once as I am sure we are all excited about this trip. Real quick I would like to introduce you cadets to our extra staff for this trip. Bud and Shauna here are ex-instructors who still help out occasionally." The older guys nods his head and looks at all us. The girl looks about the same age as our instructors. She is very pretty and seems pretty confident. "Then we have Lauren. She is the camps on-call instructor who lives here in town." Lauren gets a proud smile on her face and Tris says something to her to make her chuckle. She looks barely out of high school. "As I said earlier, all cadets will stay with their instructors. Tris and Christina will be joining Four's group, Will and Shauna will join Zeke's Group, Marlene and Bud will join Paulo's group and Uriah and Lauren will join Eric's group." I look over at Eric but I cannot figure out the expression on his face., maybe something between happy and annoyance. "Once we leave here, no staff member should be responsible for no more than one cadet at any time. Cadets I know you shouldn't have to be told but I will say it again. DO NOT stray from the staff. You are on short leash for lack of a better word and if one person's tracker is activated, everyone is done for the night. Is that understood." We nod our heads. "Good. Everyone on the bus." He gets down and turning to Bud, "I'll follow you," and he starts to walk over to where there are some cars parked.

We all fall into a loose line and start getting on the bus. Jeff and Patrick are in front of me and Eric gets behind me. Jeff goes to the back of the bus where there is several open seats together. Jeff get into the middle one and Patrick sits in front of him, I am about to slide in next to Jeff when Eric pushes my forward a little so I have to walk past and then nudges at my hip to sit in the seat behind Jeff. Everyone was walking so close together, I don't think anyone else saw what he did, but both Jeff and Patrick looks at me strange and I know they did. Eric sits down beside me and I roll my eyes. "I guess I am on a really short leash." I say quietly trying to justify his actions to my friends and I hear Jeff laugh as Eric glares at me. I guess my attitude and everything I have done has gotten me a bit of a reputation because no one really seems surprised Eric sat next to me.

There is exactly enough seats for all of us as Bud sits down in the driver seat and we pull out as everyone is chatting away with excitement. Jeff, Patrick and Huck are talking about football and I just kind of tune it out and stare out the window. I am nervous about how this afternoon is going to go. I am still a bit confused with Eric's and my situation. I am startled by Eric's hand on my thigh causing it to go still. I hadn't realized that it was bouncing at my nervousness and must have been annoying him. I look up at him and he is still looking forward pretending not to be paying attention to me, his backpack on his lap hiding his hand. "Relax," he says under his breath. He leaves his hand on my thigh moving his thumb back and forth on the outside of my thigh. I take a deep breath, put in my ear buds and lean my head back on the seat looking out the window.

I am actually pretty content just sitting with Eric. The bus is small and so are the seats. Eric and I fit perfectly in it with his hip pushed up against mine. After a few minutes, between us sitting so close and his hand on my thigh, I feel better than I have in a few days. A smile spreads across my face and I assume Eric sees it because he squeezes my leg gently. I don't move to look at him because I don't want anything to change in this moment. This is the closeness I have been craving and I want it to last as long as possible.

We get into town and it is full of people. The bus goes down a side street since most of Main street seems to be closed for the festival. We pull over and park on the side of the street. Tori gets up, "Alright staff we will be going to the BBQ tent for dinner. Get the cadets sat and Max and I will be bringing dinner over. We all stand and get off the bus. "Stay together!" Eric's shouts at our group as Max and Tori walk ahead of us. Jeff and Patrick come to stand next to me in the back of the group and Eric backs off just a little to walk behind us. I feel a little disappointed but I am in a much better mood now.

"I really hope we get some french fries." Patrick says. I have to say I would love some too. As we turn onto a street with more people, I notice the staff automatically creates a loose circle around us. They lead us to a large area that has tons of picnic tables, and several very large BBQ's behind a long line of tables with people taking orders. There is a large banner on the wall behind them that says 'Famous Dave's'.

We all sit at four of the tables and Eric sits next to me one one side and Jeff on the other. "What did you do to piss him off this time?" Jeff whispers in my ear. "I don't have the slightest idea." I tell him and Eric eyes me when I respond. I roll my eyes and he pushes his leg against mine making me smile.

I look around. On the other side of Main street there seems to be some fair rides but none that are really big except on very tall pole looking thing. There is lots of lights hung everywhere and people are walking around us smiling and laughing everywhere. Kids are running around and I see groups of teenagers. A few people stare at our group. I am sure of our all black uniforms stand out when you have 24 of us, but they just smile and keep walking, a few even nod their heads to say hello. People here seem really friendly, that would never happen in Chicago.

Max and Tori walk up to us each carrying a stack of to-go plates and several people behind them are also carrying a bunch. They hand them out to everyone and Max and Tori sit down to join us for dinner. I open my plate and there is a pulled pork sandwich, baked beans, potato salad, a small corn on the cob, and a piece of corn bread. _Wow_. "This place has the best pulled pork and corn bread." Max tells us and Eric nods his head in agreement as he is already eating his. I pick up my sandwich and take a bite. It is really delicious. I eat the whole sandwich and a few bits of everything else.

I set my fork down "Damn that was good." Eric smiles a little but when Patrick grabs my plate to finish it he glares at him. I just try to ignore it.

When most of us are done Max stands up. "Alright, staff you are welcome to go off with your groups. Have fun but remember your responsibilities. We will meet back at the bus at 9:00 to go over to the firework show. Tori and I will be around if we are needed. Enjoy yourselves." Four and Zeke get up and call over their groups. "Hey Eric what are we doing first?" Lauren ask. "I want to go browse the booths. Paulo, how about you?" Marlene speaks up before Paulo can answer, "I want to go on some rides." Paulo gives Eric a little shrug, apparently he isn't calling the shots.

Rides do sound like fun. "Man I want to go on rides." I put in my opinion in hoping Eric will let us go too. Paulo laughs at me, "Really...you got some money." My face falls at the realization that we don't have money to do anything, that will definitely put a damper on our fun. "Jerk," I say looking down at the table, I don't think he heard me. He laughs he gets up calling his group, "We are going over to the rides, see you later man." He tells Eric and Jeff gives me a smile hoping up to join them. As they walk away Eric leans in to me. We have money for you guys to go on rides, he was fucking with you." I instantly cheer up. Everyone has left but our group. "Lets go Eric," Uriah whines.

Eric rolls his eyes. "Alright listen up. We are going to go walk the booths. You guys do not go walking off. Uriah and Lauren I know it is your first years as leaders so you need to make sure you are watching the cadets at all times. If you want to stray just a bit that is fine but I need to see you at all times and you keep a cadet with you. Danielle, no problems, you stay by me at all times." I am about to roll my eyes until I realize that was his way of keeping Lauren and Uriah from taking off with me. I just nod my head and Huck and Mike look at me sympathetically. Geez, do people really think I am a trouble maker or what? "Ya ok, you already told us all that. Let's go!" Uriah is impatient but I see he is irritating Eric who rolls his eyes.

We get up and start walking to main street. There are tons of tents to the left just like an open flea market. To the right there are tons of game booths running far down the street. Straight in front of us are all the rides, and I hope we get to go on some. We turn and go left and start looking at all the different things. There is so much stuff, clothing, jewelry, wood carving and trinkets.

Not thinking I stop and look at some animal caved out of wood. There is a beautiful one of two dolphins jumping out of water. I run my hand over it. "Can I help you with something my dear." The old lady smiles at me. I return her smile. "Just looking. Thank you!" Eric touches my back and I realize the other have continued ahead. I look around. "Don't worry, Four and Zeke will be playing games most the night and Paulo is over in the rides." He smiles. "Common let catch up to the others." He keeps his hand on my back until we are right behind them. Lauren has stopped to look at some jewelry and the guys are patiently waiting.

I join her and Eric stays at my side, they have hundreds of necklaces, bracelets and anklets that have all kinds of ocean wild life. "These are so pretty." Lauren says to me. I smile, "Yes they are." My eyes find the many different dolphin charmed ones. I love dolphins, they are smart, beautiful animals. What's not to love. I always thought it would be cool to go swim with the dolphins. I really hope one day I can do that.

"Check these out," Lauren pulls me out of my thoughts and I turn to the other side and walk to the other wall to see. There were a bunch of different pearl bracelets. Every color you could think of and there were opal ones to. I could never afford something like this, but then again I didn't wear a whole of lot of jewelry either. I have my ears pierced but that is it.

"Ok can we go now?" Uriah asked. "Hold on, I want this one." Lauren shows the booth keeper a grey pearl bracelet with matching hanging earnings. The booth keeper take it out as she pays for it. It is a beautiful and I am a little jealous. I go to step back but Eric is behind me still and I run into him. I apologize quietly and walk over to where the other boys are waiting. Lauren comes out and we continue looking.

When we get down further Lauren stops, buying us both a pretty feather with beads that we clip into our hair and I am glad I had let it out of my bun and brushed it down before we left. Putting it up in a wet bun the night before had made it very wavy and it now falls down just below my chest. I was glad it was cooperating for once. The one she gives me had deep green beads that matched my eyes. "Thank you, it is very pretty." I tell her.

Eric and I have been staying behind the others and he keeps putting his hand on my back and I almost forget we are here with the camp. As we continue to walk Eric leans down and whispers in my ear. "You look beautiful, tonight. I love it when you wear your hair down." I blush and look down. "Thank you." I say softly. I see Lauren stop at another booth and Eric pulls me inside the one we are next to. I look at him a little surprised. "I can't wait anymore." He grabs my face gently and kisses my lips ever so softly. Even though I know we only have a few seconds, he takes his time kissing me slowly like we have all the time in the world. He pulls away and smiles with the biggest grin. "I have been waiting for that for a week." I smile back at him as I try to slow my heart beat. I hear Uriah say Eric's name and I turn around to pretend I am looking at some tourist shirts so I can compose myself. "Ya, just a sec, were coming." Eric tells him as he quickly grabs two of the shirts that say 'Roslyn Cafe' and pays for them, before he pulls and my wrist and we go to join the others.

When we catch up, Eric slows to stick the shirts in his bag. "Can we go on rides now?" Huck ask. Eric tries to act annoyed but I can see otherwise, "Fine, but if you go on a ride, one of us has to go on it with you." Eric tells him. "Max gave me enough for each of us to go on a few and after that, it comes out of our own pockets." He looks at Lauren and Uriah and they nod their heads.

We go over to the rides area. We agree to all go on the Gravitron first and then we go over to the scrambler. Pairing up we get into the seats and of course Eric sits with me. As the ride starts up the ride he puts his arm on the back of the seat behind my back and it starts going so faster that I am squished against him but neither of us care. I actually think I hear him laugh. He seems so care free.

When we get off, I am drawn to the large pole I had seen earlier. There is a basket with three people in it that is climbing the very tall pole . I watch it go up and I feel Eric standing right behind me. There are two people connected to each other and as it reaches the top, the other guy opens a gate. After a minute the couple jumps. I hold my breath as I watch them fall toward the huge air bag below and just before they hit it the cord slows them and springs them back up. "Have you ever bungee jumped before?" Eric ask curiously. I look back at him, "Nope. You?" He shakes his head no but then a sly smile crosses his face and he raises an eyebrow. "You dauntless?" I mirror his expression, he probably thinks I won't do it. No way I am backing down to him. "You paying?" He looks slightly surprised but recovers quickly letting our a chuckle. "Only if I get to go to, that shit is expensive." I look over at the sign and my mouth drops. It is $80 for one person and $100.

"Dani are you kidding? Your going to do that?" Mike ask looking shocked and I turn to look at him. I didn't notices the rest of our group standing around us, but my head turns back to the sign. "Eric, I can't let you spend that kind of money on me." I tell him. It is too much. He looks insulted. "It's my money, what are you scared." The guys giggle and my courage explodes. "Absolutely not!"

"Good because I have wanted to do this for a long time. Lauren, Uriah, stay right here with these guys. "We ain't going anywhere. I want to see her chicken out." Mike laughs. "Fuck off!" I say as I shove at his shoulder. "Come on." Eric grabs my forearm pulling be back from Mike and we walk over to the ticket window. "We would like to jump tandem, please." He says to the man. "This really is expensive Eric." He rolls his eyes and pulls out a credit card. "I can afford it, trust me."

The guy hands us a waiver to sign and then stamps our hands. We step behind him to the other guy who helps us put on the harnesses that will connect us and then we move to the basket and another guy helps us on and then puts our feet harnesses on that are connected to the bungee. I am actually getting nervous now. "Breath," Eric tells me. We shuffle back a little and they close the gate. I look back at our group and they look curiously and we start going up. The guy checks our feet again and then stands looking at me. "Facing him or away from him?" I look confused and before I can answer Eric does, "Facing me," and he smiles at me. "Gives me a chance to hold you in public." He explains looking into my eyes and I can't help but to grin at him. The guys eyes him oddly. "Alright face each other and stand as close as possible." We do as we are told Eric holding one side of me while the guy reaches between us hooking our harnesses together. "Make sure you hold her tight as you go down. To help not hit each other you need to either lean your faces away from each other at the bottom or keep your head tight on his shoulder as it snaps back up." We both nod and he moves back. I look down, we're really high and I can't help but be nervous.

We come to a stop and the guy tells us to move to the rail. Eric pulls my chin up so my eye meet his. "Ready." I just nod my head because I am to nervous to talk. The guy opens the gate. "You gonna chicken out?" Eric ask and I roll my eyes at him. "No!" He chuckles and tries to hide his smile. "Ok." We move to the very edge and I hear people below me yelling but I can't make out what they are say. Eric wraps his arms around me tightly. "I will count down from 10 and you jump when I say 'Go'," The guy tells us but we don't acknowledge him and he starts counting. Eric face gets completely serious as he looks deeply into my eyes, and everything else falls away. "Ready." He says more serious but looking thoughtful. "Yes," I whisper and put my arms around him. He leans toward the inside of the basket and kisses me twice on my neck and his lips stop at my ear. "Be brave."

I hear the guy say, "Jump," as I press my head to Eric's shoulder keeping my eyes open and his arms tighten around me as we both push out.

For a moment, time stops and I am completely lost, nothing but him holding me in his arms, weightless. It seems like we stay like that for hours and then all the sudden I feel us snap back up and my stomach drops. "Oh crap!" I yell and I feel Eric chuckle under me. We bounce around a little more and I grab him tighter if that is even possible. "Wow!" I say as I feel them starting to lower us. I can't believe we just did that. I am so proud of myself that I actually pushed off myself, not him pulling me off. He pushes me back a little so I can see his eyes. "You...are...amazing!" He says each word slowly and with so much conviction. "I really wish I could kiss you right now." He confesses and I laugh a little. "That makes two of us." I smile at him.

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 **Well sorry but I figured that was a good place to cut it. Stay tuned tomorrow for part two of the day. As always, reviews and comments welcome. Until next time :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Ok, here is part two. I really hope you like it. Thanks again to all my wonderful reviewers and readers. You guys are awesome. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 20:**

 _(Saturday July 4th)_

We reach the bottom and we get unhooked. That was the craziest thing I have ever done. I have so much adrenaline running through me right now. We walk out the gate and I notice quickly our group has been joined by Paulo's. "Holy shit! I cannot believe you did that." Patrick says to me and Jeff just looks at me speechless. "Geez, thanks for the vote of confidence." I say with a laugh.

"Dude I cannot believe you just took her up there. Max would have your ass." Paulo says, slapping Eric on his shoulder. He looks indifferent. "What she's 18 now. Besides I didn't think she was actually going to do it. I figured she chicken out. Guess I was wrong." He shrugs his shoulders and I want to laugh at the game he is playing. "Well anyway, we are going to meet up with Tori. I will see you in a bit." They turn and walk away, Paulo shaking his head and I am secretly glad because I do not want to deal with Jeff and Patrick's questioning looks right now.

I get a little dizzy and I grab Eric's arm for support not thinking about it. He looks at me concerned. "You ok." I let go quickly and stand up straight, realizing what I just did. "Uh, ya, I just got a little dizzy, I'm fine." He shakes his head in disapproval, "Its the adrenaline rush. Uriah, Lauren, stay here for a few minutes with these two. I am going to take her to the restroom real quick." He takes my upper arm and starts leading me away before I can object.

We go around the corner and he leads me into a 'family' restroom that is thankfully unoccupied. He shuts the door behind us and before I can comprehend what is happening, I am pressed up against the wall by his body and his lips are on mine, feverishly moving, so full of want. My body instantly reacts and my hands are in his hair as he kisses down my neck. He mumbles against my neck as he continues to move across it kissing and lightly biting, "You are the smartest...bravest...most incredible women...I have ever met." My body explodes with desire and I am completely overwhelmed by emotion. I pull at his face bringing his lip back to my own, fulfilling my own need. I suck on his tongue moving his barbell around with my tongue. His hands tighten on me as he bits my lip, and somehow my need for him grows even more. My feelings for him are so intense they almost scare me. I want him so much, I have never felt such need in my life. "I need you Eric."

He lifts me up and turns to sit me on the counter so I am now eye level and I wrap my legs around him as he continues to kiss me. I pull his hair and I am rewarded with a deep moan. As his hand reaches up moving under my shirt, the ache between my legs gets stronger and I loosen my legs a bit and move my hands down and undoing his belt and top button. I am not sure where this bravery is coming from. I slid my hand between his pants and boxers to rub the growing bulge, He is larger than I thought and a shiver runs through him as I massage his hardness. "Christ, Is there anything you can't do princess." His voice is low and broken, so full of lust. I know it isn't what he meant but my mind flints back to my objection to touch and I am brought down a little from the clouds. His hand feel so wonderful on me. I can't believe I actually found someone that I can be with. But the broken must attract the broken. I think about what he said that night as we sat outside. He doesn't think he can love, and my heart aches because I think I am falling in love with this man. How can I love someone that won't love me, the thought saddens me.

A single tear escapes my eyes and falls to our joined lips. He stops in confusion and my head hangs low as I pull my hand out of his pants, I just fucked up our moment. He pulls my chin up to look in my eyes. Why does my head have to fuck up everything. "What's wrong," _Its not you, I am just fucked up in the head_. "Nothing I am sorry." He looks concerned and he is not going to let me get off that easy. "Hey. We have to be honest with each other if this is going to work, ." His tone is soft but this week floods back to me and Irritation grows in me. "Is that so. Is that why you ignored me almost all week." He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "It isn't so simple for me."

"And what, you think it is for me?" My words are laced with frustration. He can't possibly imagine how much I crave the most simple touches from him. Something I have never been able to have but have always wanted. I am the fucked up one, how could this possibly be simple for me.

"Danielle you don't understand." Now I am just down right pissed. I can tell he is holding something back. I take my hands off him and cross them in front of me and raise my eyebrow. "Enlighten me then." He huffs and pushes back from the counter walking over by the door and leaning against it. "Shit," He says as he hit his head against the door. "I do believe you just told me we need to be honest." I remind him.

He takes another breath as conflict spreads across his face. "This is not me." He pauses and I know that this is it. I knew it wouldn't last, better it stop now before it can go any further. "I am a very calculating person. I like routine, I like knowing exactly what is going to happen and when. I love the control I have over my own life, something I never had when I was younger."

My heart sinks. "I get it, I am messing that up." I can't keep the hurt out of my voice and I look down not being able to look at him any longer. I need to get out of here. I jump down and head for the door grabbing the handle waiting for him to move off of it. "It's fine, go back to your life, I will leave you alone." I try unsuccessfully to open the door, I need to be alone. I don't want him to see me weak. I pull at the door again.

"Hey it isn't that. Stop, please, I don't want you to go." I look up at him confused. I don't understand. "Its just that around you I am so distracted, I am not use to it and it's making me sloppy at my job and it's like I am confused all the time about my feelings." Confused, I know that feeling but what is he talking about _his feelings_. I take my hand of the handle and lean up against the wall next to him. "Feelings?" He huffs again, "Yes." He pauses until I look him in the eyes. "Danielle I have never wanted someone, as much as I want you. I wish I could hold you all the time, to sit with you in my arms; it makes me angry that I can't. I see you hanging out with your friends and it makes me frustrated that we can't have that. And the way the guys fall over you, it makes me jealous and that is not something I normally have to deal with, it make me confused."

I try to process what he has said to me. I feel mostly the same way so I do understand. "Eric don't you understand I feel the same way. I have never been able to be so close to someone. This is so new to me and I have a hard time processing it all which isn't easy with your mood swings. You seem so cold toward me sometimes and then you do a complete one-eighty and you want to be playful. It is hard to keep up. I feel all that just like you. Well...except for jealousy. I really think you are overreacting on that point."

He finally laughs pulling me over in front of him holding me against him. He tilts my head up so can see his raised eyebrow. "Really. Mike, John, Jeff...should I keep going?" I shake my head and roll my eyes at him. "Jeff and I aren't like that but that is beside the point. I don't want them." I hold his face so he cannot look away. "I want you, I am just unsure how mutual the feeling is."

Something crosses his eyes. "Hey, I promise you the feeling is mutual. I just need to work out some shit in my head. I can't let my feelings for you affect my job. I need to find a way for us to have some time alone because longer I go without you the crazier I seem to get and the more I fuck up." I smile up at him and he kisses my lips gently. "And for the record, I only stayed away because Paulo already knows somethings up. I got to figure out what to do about that." _Crap_ , now I feel a little bad. "Next time, try telling me so I don't have all these crazy thoughts going through my head." I tell him and he kisses me again. "Ok."

Someone pounds on the door making us both jump. "Come on. We better get back." He kisses me one last time and we exit the bathroom as he buckles his belt back up and the lady gives us a dirty look. I can't help but laugh and I notice Eric is smiling too.

When we get back to the others I try to keep a straight face. "You ok?" Lauren ask me. "Ya I am ok now."

"So shall we go play some games?" Eric ask and I see the amusement in his eyes. Everyone agrees and we go over to the games. We spread out just a little in our pairs playing various games. When we come to the 'Bullseye' game I smile at him. "You want to play with me?" He looks at me surprised. "Yep." I tell him enthusiastic. "Ok, but I am pretty good." He says and I try not keep the grin off my face. He has no idea. He pays the guy and we both pick up our rifles. I smile at him. "Eyes on your target." He says playfully, I look over to my target and the bell clinks and we began shooting trying to remove the star on the target.

We finish and we have both completely shot out the star. "Damn woman, you are completely full of surprises."

The guys tells we both can pick a stuffed animal. "Pick one," Eric tells me. I point at the black one and the guy hands it to me. "That's from me," Eric tells me. "But that means you have to give yours away." I understand and I am so smitten when he is like this. I point at the white one. "I'll give it to Lauren for the feather she bought me. "Actually I will, just don't take it the wrong way." I nod with a giggle and he takes the bear.

It is almost 9:00 so we gather up the others. "You won Lauren?" I ask as she has a cute floppy ear dog in her hands. "Nope, Uri won it for me. I see both of you did though." Eric looks at the bear in his hand, "Here, you might as well keep this one too. I don't have a need for it." He hands it to her and her face lights up. He rolls his eyes, "Alright lets get back."

We walk back to the bus. Everyone is already there. "Alright everyone on the bus in your same seats so I can do a head count." Eric shouts over everyone and we pile on the bus. Once I am seated, Jeff turns to me. "So what did you win?" I laugh in a playful mood, "Who says I won anything, someone could have gave it to me." Jeff looks over at Eric and I see that he is trying not to laugh. "Well..." I can't help myself. "Dude I am just playing. I won the 'Bullseye' game." Eric's hand finds my thigh again and I see the slightest smile on his face. "Ya, that makes sense. You are truly a bad ass." He turns back around and I smile, but Eric looks at me with a questioning look. I just shake my head slightly.

We get up to the school quickly and Eric stands up. "Alright, this place is going to be packed. The whole town comes to watch it. Staff members do not lose sight of your cadets and cadets do not move away from the staff, it will be easy to lose them. Meet back here right when the show ends. Lets go."

We get back in our groups when we get off the bus. Eric turns to ours. "Uriah, you are responsible for Mike. Lauren, you are responsible for Huck. Keep them in front of you at all times so you do not lose them. Lets go." We all walk over to the huge crowd of people who have gathered. There has to be more than a thousand people here. We walk out on the field and you really have to watch your step as people have already set up their blankets and chairs everywhere. We head for the back of the field and I am not sure where the other groups have went, our group slows moved away from them as we walked and mixed in with everyone moving and standing around. Once we are almost all the way back Eric stops. "Here is good and I can see everyone." I turn and Paulo's group is a little in front of us and the other two groups are more toward the front of the field. Everyone starts to sit but Eric slyly pulls me back just a little further and He sits behind me.

Everyone on the field starts sitting down as a voice come over a loud speaker welcoming everyone and telling us to enjoy the show. Everything gets really quite and I jump at the first pop of the fireworks and then Ozzy comes over the loud speaker singing crazy train as the fireworks begin to go off to the music. Eric pulls me back against his chest and wraps his arms around my waist once he is sure everyone is focused on the show, even though my bear on my lap is probably hiding his arms anyway. "Happy 4th my princess." he whispers in my ear. Today may have been the best day of my life despite me freaking out earlier. I lean my head to the side and look at him. "Thank you for such a great day." I smile at him and pull him down to kiss me. He smiles and we go back to watching the show.

After watching the show for a bit, he speaks up. "So, you going to tell me where you learned to shoot like that." I shrug. "My dad is big into hunting. He believes it is important for his to know how to shoot and handle a gun. He taught my brother and I when we were kids. We use to go out and shoot at bottles and cans. I think was proud I picked up on it so quickly. He always told me I was a natural. As I got older he would take us down to the shooting range." I smile at the memories. I was always a bit of a daddy's girl, helping fix cars and learning about guns. I never did like dresses and make-up.

I feel Eric shake is head. "Amazing. You are just amazing." He kisses the top of my head and we return our attention to the show until I start to shiver. With no clouds it is getting pretty chilly. Eric shifts and grabs his sweater out of his bag. "Here put this on, you really should have brought one." I happily comply even though it is big on me and when I have it on, I inhale his scent still present on his sweater. It smells of some type of cologne that I just love. He looks at me a little strange but i just smile at him and he returns it. I lean back against him again. So many of my senses: smell, touch, sight, hearing, all full of beautiful things and I wish I could stay just like this forever.

Unfortunately it is over way before I am ready. Eric sits me up quickly. and stands up. "Lets go guys." We get up and walk back to the bus. I notice several of the staff members are holding hands. Four and Tris, Zeke and Shauna, Will and Christina, Bud and Tori and even Uriah and Lauren. "Are all these guys together?" I ask Eric quietly. "Pretty much, that is why Max has them come up for the holiday. Tori and Bud are married. Four and Zeke have been dating their girls for over a year. Christina and Will have only been the last few months. Uriah and Lauren is new though. Among others." He smiles at me and squeezes my hand quickly then lets it go before anyone sees.

When we reach the front of the field, Paulo's group dissolves into ours. "Well don't you look happy." Paulo says as he knocks his shoulders into Eric's. "What I had a very exhilarating day. I am not aloud to be in a good mood?" He questions. I am still walking very close to him and it makes me feel good knowing I was part of that day. "Hey man whatever, I am just saying, it is a good look for you. Hopefully Happy Eric can show his face a little more often." I see Paulo look at me but Eric just laughs, they must mess around a lot. "Ya well ass hole Eric is sitting close by so watch it." I can't help but smile at their carefree banter. "Ok, Ok, I will behave." I can tell what Eric had said about his suspicions were true.

Eric orders us on the bus in the same seats for the head count. I secretly know he just wants to be sure he can sit next to me. We sit down and I set my bear in my lap and pull out my ear buds putting them in. I can't believe today turned out the way it did. I lean back looking out the window perfectly happy. I feel Eric's hand slid under my bear so it is being hid under the backpack and bear. He laces his fingers with my own and close my eyes no wanting to forget how I feel right now.

Our ride is over before I know it an Eric shakes me a little. I am not quite a sleep but I am half way there. Everyone is quiet after our exhausting day and we quietly get up to leave the bus but Eric doesn't let me out until everyone has passed then he gets up and we start walking. Before we get to the steps, he turns and smiles. "Night Princess." He is so quiet I am sure only I hear it, he turns and exits the bus. I get off unable to take the smile off my face.

Jeff and Patrick walk with me back to the dorm although Jeff seems upset about something. As soon as we get inside Jeff stops me, I am a little startled because lights are already out since it is past 22:00. "So what the hell is up with you." I knew he was going to notice but really he needs to quit this. "What are you talking about Jeff?" but I don't give him time to answer. "You know what I am so tired I just want to go to bed, we can talk about it tomorrow." I walk past him. Grabbing out a pair of my shorts and quickly take off my pants. The sweater goes down far enough to cover my underwear and right now I could care less. "Jeff!" I say as I notice he is watching me still. His face turns red and turns to his bed so I can have my privacy. I set the bear up on my desk and I climb into bed keeping Eric's sweater on, snuggling it against me. "We will talk tomorrow." Jeff presses. "Kay. Night." I say with a yawn and I am grateful to be able to put it off.

I breath in deeply and fall asleep with Eric's smile permanently etched in my mind.

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 **Hope you liked it. I had a hard time for some reason writing part of this so I hope it ended up ok. All comments and reviews are welcome. Until next time.**


	21. Chapter 21

**You guys are so awesome. Thank you for all the reviews. I know the last chapter was just off a little. Hopefully this one will make up for it. Enjoy!**

 **This chapter is a MA rating. Please proceed with caution.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

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 **Chapter 21:**

 _(Sunday July 5th)_

No one can keep the smile off my face today. I feel great, even on the lack of sleep. I get up and quickly changing out of the sweatshirt and into a clean t-shirt. I don't want to ruin the smell of it with my sweat. I head out to the stage with the guys and as I walk out, Eric's eyes meet mine and he winks at me before putting his instructor face back on. Max starts in with his normal speech about things people did right and wrong, but I really only pay attention to half of it until the ranking appears and I am in the bottom three. I had a feeling that Leeann and Joseph would be there but I am not sure what I did.

I look up to Eric and his face is impassive. Max continues about the importance of our educational classes and how it is expected we all participate with a good attitude. Recognition suddenly hits me as I think back to last week. I had been in a bad mood at Eric's irritable behavior and it may have projected out a little when I was in class. I did give Tris a bit of a hard time. Well, there is no one to blame but myself.

We continue with our stretching and begin our run. I go to run next to Eric but he pushes a little harder than normal and I have to try hard to keep up, but it puts a little distance between us and the guys behind us. "Work harder!" I look at him and he seems a little pissed. I guess he has a right to be mad. "I do not like having to put you in the bottom but when I get reports like that from Tris, I don't have a choice." I knew that was it. I bite my lip a little. "Ya. Ok." I sound a bit defeated. I glance at him and his anger is gone almost as if he feels bad, then he smiles and he raises an eyebrow. "You want to rephrase that cadet." I know what he is doing and I can't help but to smile. "Yes sir, Eric sir." He smirks at my response.

We finish our workout and I go in to take a quick shower since I didn't get a chance last night and I am secretly trying to stay away from Jeff's obsessive questioning. I gather my clothes in the bag and hang them for the laundry but I make sure to leave Eric's sweater out. I don't want it to lose its smell of him. I fold it and put in in my chest. I brush my hair straight and debate whether to put it up, deciding against it. The guys are ready so we go to breakfast.

The mess haul seems loud today and I am sure it has to do with the awesome day we had yesterday and I smile thinking about my own day. As I go to sit down next to Eric, I hear that I am the topic of conversation at our table. Royce looks at me, "You really jumped?" I look around not wanting all the attention. "She sure did, or maybe Eric just pulled her over." Mike speaks up.

"Fuck off dickhead, I jumped." I couldn't help it. Four puts his fork down. "Seriously Eric, you really took her bungee jumping. Are you completely out of your mind?" He must have not heard. Great here we go again. Eric stops and looks at him. "What, I have wanted to go for a long time and she said she wanted to. Honestly I thought she would chicken out when she got up there. Apparently, I underestimated her bravery. Besides, like I said yesterday, she is 18, it was her choice and I went with her, we were within the rules, so back off." He says the last part with a bit of malice in his voice. Everyone had stopped to listen to Eric's explanation and when Four doesn't say something right away they go back to talking about how cool it would have been.

A few seconds later, Four leans forward with a lower serious voice. "And what about if she did chicken out, three seconds after you jumped, her tracker would have activated." Eric is getting irritated by Four and I wonder why they constantly are at each others necks. "Actually you idiot, I actually had the ability to disable her tracker, it isn't like she would have been able to run, so I suggest you mind your own fucking business and worry about your own cadets." I'm shocked. I didn't know he could have deactivated it. I look to him to ask questions and the look in his eyes say it is not the appropriate time.

When he is sure I am not going to say anything, he gets a sly smile on his face and looks back toward Four. "What's the matter Four. You afraid this little thing over here is going to show you up because she just did something you would never do." I am confused, there must be something I don't know. "Fuck off Eric." Four stands and leaves. Zeke shakes his head. "You don't have to be a dick Eric." Eric lets out a small laugh, "Dude it is not my fault that pussy is afraid of heights." He says answering my thoughts. Zeke stands up. "Your no perfect angel either." He shrugs, "Ya but I never claimed to be." Zeke walks off like a mad girlfriend. I find it pretty funny.

"Geez, are they a couple or something." I say before my mind can tell me to stop. Eric laughs a little and Paulo almost chokes on his eggs. "Damn woman, you got some balls," He shakes his head and I see Eric trying not to smile. We finish up our food and I get a few more compliments on my bravery yesterday before I excuse myself and go to clean up so I can get my homework done. I really did slack off last week and I have a ton of homework to get done. Eric was right, I need to try harder.

Watching Leeann and Joseph putting their hands all over each other is really getting annoying and I can tell Christina is getting quite annoyed as well. She has yelled at them twice already to get to work. I have done most of the work and we are almost done. I grab the garbage needing to get some fresh air. I go out the back door to throw it in the dumpster.

"Hey!" He says in a low voice startling me. I look over and Eric is standing up against the wall with one foot on the wall and seemly playing with something in his hand. "Come down here so the camera can't see you." I smile and go down to him and stand in front of him. I am a little surprised he is risking doing this since he has been so cautious lately. A smile crosses his face. "I just wanted to say good morning and kiss," He kisses me lightly, "this smart mouth of yours." My grin is huge as his cuteness peaks through. "Is that so." He lets out a small chuckle. "I also just go done reviewing last nights dorm cameras and I have to say, I about lost it when I saw you strip off your pants, showing all those guys these fine thighs of yours." He looks at my legs, dragging his fingers along my thighs and peaks back up at me driving me crazy.

I can't help myself. I smirk at him, "Well you are really going to keel over when you find out that after I got into bed I removed everything else that was under that sweater." He closes his eyes and growls, suddenly he turns me so he has me pinned up against the wall. "I happen to know that isn't true but thank you for that visual." His voices hits that spot between my legs and his lips crush to my own. I grab his neck trying to pull him closer. These little impromptu make out sessions are creating so much sexual tension it is driving me crazy. He presses the hardening bulge in his pants against me and I don't' know how much more of this ache I can take. "Fuck Eric." I say as I pull his hair hard and I am rewarded with a moan. "Keep that up and I swear I am going to take you right here and I don't care who shows up." He says continuing to kiss and biting my neck. I can't take it anymore, "I accept that."

He stops kissing me and looks at me with a sly smile. "So bold," He kisses my jaw and start working up toward my ear, "What's the matter?" He moves down to my neck and I lean my head back on the wall to give him better access. "Getting a little impatient are we?" He bits the top of my shoulder and I moan. "Is that ache down there becoming unbearable. His hands start roaming the edge of my pants. My hands freeze on his neck and I feel his smile on my neck. His fingers slide under the front of my pants and my breathing get heavy with desire. I pray that he doesn't stop and my prayers are answered when he undoes the button on my pants. His lips move back to mine and he deepens the kiss as he moves to the side just a little, taking my leg with him so my legs are apart and one is between his, giving his hand and better access. His hand slips inside my pants and I feel his fingers slowly rub over my underwear all the way down between my legs. My mind is clouded and I do not care that we are doing this outside where anyone can walk up on us.

His leisure pace is driving me nuts as he rubs over me again. "Eric," is all I can say. "You have to tell me if you want me to stop ok." he whispers on my lips. The lust in his voice pulls at me. "Please, don't stop." I feel his smile and he continues kissing me, moving down my jaw. I tilt my head back again as I am lost in pleasure. His hand slides inside my underwear and his fingers find my sensitive spot. The feeling is so intense, I have to hold on to his neck tighter as he continues biting and kissing away at my neck. He puts his other arm around my back and holds my side pulling me tight against him so I cannot move as he starts moving his fingers in circles. I moan at the unimaginable pleasure I am feeling. I feel him hard against me and it just adds to the incredible feeling. "I want you so bad right now but this is going to have to do for now." He slide his fingers further down between my folds and pushes one finger into me and I can't holding my moan. "Christ you are so wet for me." My legs are getting weak and a unfamiliar pull builds in me as he slides it in and out while rubbing his thumb over my clit. His lips working their magic send tingles down my body. The feeling gets even stronger as he slides in a second finger. I don't know how much more I can take. "You are going to have to enjoy this for both of us for now." I have never felt this before, it's too intense, I don't know if I can do this. "I can't Eric its too much." I barley whisper. He brings his lips back to mine, "You can do it I know you can." He kiss me deeply. "Its ok, give it to me baby." and his words push me over the edge as my body is overwhelmed with feeling as I come, he covers my mouth with his own to quiet my moans, holding me almost painfully tight to himself.

He doesn't stop until my orgasm has worked its way through the end and I begin to come back down off my high. I feel him pull his hand out of my pants wrapping it around me as he leans his head against mine. It take a minute to catch my breath and I finally open my eyes. "Hey," he smiles sweetly at me sounding a bit breathless himself. "Feeling better?"

"Ummmhmmm." is all I can get out. "Wow is my princess speechless? That's a first." My lips turn up in a grin.

"I really hate to cut this short but I have to go and so do you. I believe you have work to do." I frown at him. "Hey, none of that. You just got the best end of this deal. Not that I am complaining, that was amazing!" He kisses my neck again. "I can't wait to do that again." He whispers in my ear. "Me neither." I manage to say but my voice cracks. "I am going to step back ok." I loosens his grip on me and my legs feel weak but I am ok, I nod my head. "Give yourself a little time before you go around the guys or they will know." Says as he rebuttons my pants with a smirk on his face. I will see you later ok." I smile at him not sure what else to say and he pulls me to him by my belt loops and kisses me sweetly one last time before he walks away.

"Hey princess?" I am still leaning against the wall and I turn my head. He is almost around the corner and he has and evil grin on his face. "Next time I promise to show you the purpose of my tongue piercing." Then he puts the finger in his mouth that was just in me, sucking on it. My mouth falls open and he smiles as he goes round the corner. _Holy Fuck._ I cannot believe he just did that.

I look up at the sky and I have no idea how long I stand there. Joseph come out and gives me a strange look. "Hey you ok?" I have calmed down mostly but I am sure I still look a little off being I have never felt anything like that in my life. "Uh, ya I just was feeling a little sick." I lie hoping I'm convincing enough. "Well Christina told he to check on you since you have been out here so long, We have finished so you can take-off if you want, I can let Christina know." I take a deep breath. "Thanks. I think I am going to go lay down for a bit." He gives me a half smile and goes back inside. I walk around the outside of the cabins to the dorms trying to avoid the guys. I see that they are all out in the courtyard and I quickly move from behind the cabins and go inside the dorm. I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I splash some water on my face. I do look a little flushed and thinking of what we just did feels so surreal. I grab paper towels and dry my face holding the on there.

"You ok?" Four is standing behind me. _Shit_. "Umm, ya just was feeling a little off. I will be ok." I can tell he thinks something is up. He gives me a last look and then leaves with out saying anything. I take a few breaths glad he let it go. I decide I have to face the guys so I take one more deep breath, go to get my homework and Ipod before going out to face the guys.

When I get out there, I sit cross legged near Jeff and Patrick and I settle in to get my work done. I have English and Math tomorrow so I figure I will do my assignments in the order I have to turn them in. The only thing I have done was my Math so I pull out my English. Thankfully it is just an article review.

"So can we talk now." Jeff ask. Wow that didn't take long. "Sure Jeff, what's up." I am not mad, just not wanting to go into this with him. He knows be better than anyone and usually knows when I am lying.

"Don't be irritated. I'm just worried about you." He scoots closer to me. "You have been really moody lately. Well, I mean, more than normal." I look at him pointedly. "Jeff I am a girl, mood swings are part of the package." He's not buying my explanation. "I don't know Jeff, this place just can be overwhelming you know." Well at least someone in it. "I guess that is understandable. I just worry about you." I look at him to stop right there. "I am fine Jeff."

"Then why is it you seem you are hell bent on pushing Eric over the edge. The way he looks at you sometimes, it, you know, worries me. Then you go and pull that shit yesterday with him. What in your right mind convinced you to do that? I mean did he make you?" My head snaps to look at him. "No, of course not. I mean the guys kind of egged me on but I wanted to do it." He looks down, "I don't know, seeing his arms around you like that. I have never seen you let anyone besides me, Patrick and your family do that. I guess I am kind of shocked." Patrick is looking at me expectantly now. I take it they have both had this discussion. Honestly I didn't think about how to explain that he can touch me.

I am getting annoyed because I don't know how to explain it and I am not ready to tell them the truth. "So now what you are complaining that I let someone touch me? Forget it. I, uh, I think the adrenaline kept me from freaking out. It was either that or chicken out so I just did it, no big deal." I have clearly become pissed even though I know he is just looking out for me, I really just don't like lying to him. "Hey don't be mad. I am sorry. Just please, promise you will be careful around him ok?" I take a few deep breaths trying to calm down. I want me and Jeff to be good, today has been incredible so I smile at him. "Ok Jeff, if I have a problem with Eric you will be the first to know. Are we done with the interrogation?"

"Maybe, you gonna go with me next time." I laugh, "We will see about that. Ok, now seriously, I need to get this done. I refuse to be in the bottom, two weeks in a row." I pick up my notebook, put my ear buds in and start reading the article, but I have a hard time concentrating because my mind keeps floating back to Eric.

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By lunch time, I have finished Monday and Tuesday work and I am happy with my progress, but I get frustrated when realize must have left my workbook in Health class Saturday so I can't do it yet. We put our stuff up and head to the mess haul. It really sucks I have to clean after all meals today and had to go in and clean the bathroom while Uriah was busy doing god knows what.

I have to admit I am a little nervous see Eric after what we did. He is not there when we get in the hall and I feel a bit disappointed. I am nervous to see him but deep down I really want to. I see we are having homemade pizza for lunch and I hear Patrick's approval. As I sit down Zeke turns to me. "So Dani, I hear you had a question for me." He says with amusement. I turn a little pink remember what I said this morning. "I am sure I have no idea what you are talking about." I tell him levelly and Paulo laughs. He must have told him I look at him with frustration. "Hey don't look at me like that, your the one with the mouth little one."

"Something tells me she isn't so little." I hold my breath at his voice behind me. He sits down next to me and I know what he is actually referring to and I can't help showing my embarrassment. I just hope they think it is by his compliment. "She has already shown she is Dauntless which is more than I can say for some." He is trying not to laugh and he pushes is leg against my and I relax a bit. "Eric don't start with that shit enough, he has been pissy all morning." Eric shakes his head, "I can't help he can't take damn joke."

Everyone quiets down as Four comes over to sit down. "You all up for a bit of football later?" Huck speaks up changing the subject. Patrick, Jeff and Mike agree right away. "Fearless one?" I roll my eyes at him, he has no idea but they are just playing around. "Actually I have to get caught up on my homework, but if by some chance I finish, yes I will join you." He seems satisfied by that and he goes on trying to recruit others.

I am eating my pizza and I feel Eric nudge me with his leg. I glance side ways at him and he does the same as he starts licking the pizza sauce off of his fingers. I choke on my pizza in shock. I cannot believe this man! He pats me on the back. "You ok," He ask me like he is surprised. I push his hand away. "I'm fine," he picks up his tray and leaves trying to hide his smile. _Asshole_. He did that on purpose.

* * *

I am finish cleaning up and now I need to finish my homework but I need my workbook so I decide to stop by the classroom on my way back. The counseling sessions are in the other room and sessions don't start again for a bit so I decide it will be ok. When I get into the room I go right in, the doors here are never locked. I see the workbook on the back counter. As I pick it up I hear voices in the other room. I don't want to be nosy but I think I know the voice and I am curious.

I go stand by the door. "Zeke said you needed me," It is Eric's voice. I should leave now. This isn't my business I go to turn. "You don't need to sound so damn professional." It's Lynn. "I guess not. What's up?" I pause curious. "It seems like you have been avoiding me the last few weeks that I have been here. Are we not friends anymore?" She questions. "Lynn, you are one of my very few friends, I have just had some difficult cadets this time around." She laughs, "Ya, you can say that again. Although I have to say, I enjoy reading all of Dani's reports. She sure keeps it interesting." I hear him let out a quick laugh. "So Pain in the Grass is this next weekend on Saturday."

I have no idea what that is. "Really, sometimes it sucks being up here, I don't get any of the radio stations. Who's playing?" _A concert?_ "Linkin Park, Theory of a Deadman, Three Days Grace, Pop Evil and some other small bands. It's up at the Gorge all day." Wow, all those bands are awesome! "Damn, nice line up." He says, I love that he likes the same music as me. "I was actually wondering if you could get Lauren to cover you and come with me. It has been a while since we went out." _Went out?_ As what, friend, girlfriend?

"I can't, we are doing the Lookout Trip that day." So confused again. "Come on Eric, I want to hang out." She says, but not whinny like most girls, it sounded more demanding. "What do you want me to say, I can't Lynn."

"Fine, how about we go down to the Old Number 3 for drinks next Sunday. I have Casey's Cabin all weekend because of the concert and work, I am not heading back until Monday." I really don't like how this conversation is going. She really doesn't sound like 'a friend'. I chance opening the sliding door just a hair. I am able to open it just a tiny bit so I can see though. He is leaning against the desk on the other side of the room and she is standing in front of him much to close for my liking. He is looking down playing with something in his hand. I don't like this. "I don't know. I will have to check with Max." Really, he is seriously consider going out with her. She leans up against him. "Eric, come on, I need a little release. It has been a couple weeks since we had some real fun." She touches his stomach. He raises his eyebrow at her. "Ok, I know not at work." She says slyly and I can't fucking believe him. I don't know if I should go in there and say something or just walk the fuck away. She laughs, "But we have broken the rules before." Her voice is full of lust as she grabs him between the legs. "Fuck Lynn, I said I told you I don't do this shit at work."

That puts me over the top! I can't handle this shit anymore. I leave going out the front door. I pause for just a second, I don't know where to go. _I will not cry, I will NOT cry!_ I tell myself. I need to do something, anything. I don't want to the go to the gym. _Fuck, I should have known better._ I put in the ear buds, turning it up loud, and go to the back field and start running around it where people won't really notice me. How the hell could he do this to me?

* * *

The running and loud music helps keep my head clear. I look at my clock and realize I am five minutes late for my counseling session. Shit! I stop and catch my breath. I have managed not to cry but now I have to go and talk to this hoe. The problem is I don't want her to know about Eric and I. Why would I, so what, she can laugh at me that I actually though he liked me. I start walking as I shake my head at myself.

How do I always get myself into these fucked up situations? As I am walking across the court yard Eric as walking out of the gym and he stops looking at his watch. "Your late." He says with disapproval but he sounds a little off. I suppose he should. "Thanks, I am well aware. I am going now." I walk away toward the classroom and away from him.

I go into the classroom and Lynn seems to not be in a great mood. What's the matter, she couldn't get what she wanted today. She sees me and perks herself up. "Hey Dani." I don't say anything I just go sit down. "You ok today?" She ask. "Oh yes I am just splendid," I say sarcastically. I know I need to calm down and get through the next 30 minutes. "Is there something you would like to talk about today?" Her little chipper attitude makes me want to punch her in the face. I actually have to sit here with her after she just pushed herself on my boyfriend, while he sat there and took it. Then to find out they obviously do that sort of thing a lot. Breath! It isn't going to do me any good to hit her as much as it would make me feel better.

I am more pissed at Eric. She probably doesn't know we are together, although I don't think much of girls who just sleep around. He should have never let her do that shit to him. He could have easily got up and walked away from her at any point but instead he sat there all non-chalant. He didn't tell her he had someone and that he wasn't interested, or that he didn't want to mess around with her or nothing. For christ sake, she grab his shit and all he had to say was 'not at work'.

"Dani!" Lynn breaks me out of my thoughts. "Did you want to talk about something?" I roll my eyes. "No, the last thing I want to do right now is talk. Can I go?" I tell her as I try to reel in my ire. "Unfortunately I have to complete the 30 minute session. What would you rather do right now?" Go a few rounds in a boxing ring with Eric may make me feel better. "Listen to my music and exercise." She looks at me. I am sure I smell like sweat from running. "Were you just doing that before you came here?" Isn't she observant. "Yes."

"So this is your normal reaction when you get upset." It really wasn't a question. So I just strung my shoulders. "Did someone upset you?" Didn't I tell her I didn't want to talk about this. Sitting her trying to get it out of me is just making me not like her even more. "I don't want to talk about it. Period." I am very harsh but hopefully she finally gets the fucking point.

She writes her little notes and shifts in her seat. "Ok. Well lets go back to what we had been talking about the last few weeks. I would really like to work on your issue with touch. From what I have seen in your records this steams back to your preteens." Fuck, I can't talk about this shit either. I close my eyes and try to breath. "But your doctors records do not show any aversions to touch or possible causes, such as autism." Is this bitch serious, I look at her irritated. "Do you remember how old you were when you began you feel uncomfortable with touch?" Of course I fucking do and I sure as hell ain't telling you. "You know what, I have had just about enough of this shit today." I get up and go to walk out, "Dani we need to finish our session." And I don't give a fuck what she thinks I need to do. "Go complain to someone who cares. I am sure you can find somebody!"

I walk out. _Crap_. Why can't I fucking control my emotions. I am sure this is not going to work out in my favor.

I walk back to the dorm and get my stuff to take a shower. As I go though my chest I see Eric's sweater and it just pisses me off even more. I slam it shut a little harder than I meant to causing Patrick to jump. "You ok?" I really wish people would stop asking me that. "I'm fine. Just fucking peachy." I walk toward the bathroom not wanting to hear a response. I really just don't want to see anyone right now and being here isn't going to make that easy. I turn on the shower as hot as I can stand it and get in.

I can't help it any longer, the tears began to flow as I let the hot water beat down on my head. _Can't anything in my life just be ok._ I am so tired of being broken and weak. I am tired of trying so hard to have it all tore down in an instant. I was so happy and now I feel like the world's biggest idiot. Why did I let him do that to me? I guess someone as broken as me could never keep his attention, I was just something to pass his days here, something he could play with to bide his time.

As my tears dry up, I decide to wash my body. I can't cry about this anymore. I take a few deep breaths and try to put this to the back of my head. I don't want everyone else to see me like this. I need to be stronger than that. I have to get past this. _I can get past this_. I shut off the shower and get dressed, resolved to get past this.

As I step out of the shower and stop. Eric is standing against the wall his lips in a line, clearly irritate. He looks up at me "I just left talked to Lynn." Really, of course that is who she would call. "Good for you." I go to walk past him but he reaches out and grabs my wrist. "What's wrong?" The irritation in his face is has been replaced with concern. Although I am not sure why he even cares. "It's none of your concern anymore." Jeff walks in and looks at us and his eyes shoot down to Eric's grip on me and then to my pissed off look. "I was just coming to get you for dinner, ready?" His voice is full of hatred. He obviously put together I am mad at Eric. Jeff reaches his hand out to me and I take it pulling out of Eric's grip, and Jeff and I walk out.

"Do I need to worry now?" I shake my head at him. "I will be fine, thank you." He really is the most amazing friend.

I am not really hungry, but I really can't deal with Eric and I am not trying to go back to our old arrangement, so I do my best. I sit down next to Patrick and Jeff sits on the other side of me without me even saying anything. "So you playing football with us?" He ask me. Eric sits down on the other side of Jeff leaving a seat between them. "Ya I'll play if it is flag football." I need to stay away from Eric as much as possible. I look at him for just a second and he seems to be concentrating awfully hard on his food. I really hope he figures out I know because I really do not want to have to explain it to him. I just need to stay with everyone as much as possible and away from him. He wouldn't dare talk to me with others around. So that is what I set out to do.

* * *

 **Ok, so please don't hate me too much. In my life nothing is ever a fairy tail with flowers and stars. Stay tuned for more. Until next time!**


	22. Chapter 22

**OMG you guys are hilarious. I laughed so hard at your comments, I love you guys. Well here is another chapter for you. It is a little shorter but the next one is turning out to be long. Maybe I won't split it in two. Enjoy.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 22:**

 _(Wednesday July 8th)_

I lay here in bed unable to sleep. Its 4:50 and I have been up for the last hour. In a strange turn of events it isn't because of my nightmares. Every time I close my eyes, I see his face and I don't want to. When I do fall asleep I have this weird dream where I am chasing him but I can never catch up and I wake up out of breath and sweating. The last few days I have spent a lot of my spare time just laying here in bed with my music on so I don't have to think about how fucked up shit is right now.

I also lay here at night curious of who might visit. Sunday night Eric came in the dorm in the middle of the night. I hadn't been able to sleep but I assumed he thought I was. He leaned against my desk for a few minutes before moving my hair out of my face and running his finger down my jaw line. I just tried to stay as still as possible. Since then I have also made sure I don't sleep toward the camera since I know me must be looking at it.

It is weird how I feel so lost and hurt after only being with him for such a short time. Honestly I feel a little pathetic that I fell so hard for him so fast, but it is so hard to shake what I am feeling. I go about each day as if things are ok, but it is all a show. I feel nothing on the outside, but I am so twisted on the inside and I still find myself confused at his actions. He has tried several times to talk to me but I have cleverly found ways to almost never by alone. Eric has been in full on instructor mode but I catch him looking at me all the time. Some times he look confused and sometimes I think I see hurt in his eyes although I have no idea why; this was his doing. I really don't care, he can go play with his little toy because I refuse to be one.

The alarm goes off and I get up and get dress and make my bed and even though I am done before everyone, I wait for the guys and Tara before I go out. Jeff has become almost attached to me. He knows something is wrong despite my facade, but he doesn't ask and gives me my space when I ask. He makes it just a little bit easier for me, but I see that he is becoming increasingly concerned about me. Last night he asked me if it was something like our last camp. I had insisted it was nothing like that, but I am not sure he believes me anymore. I need to find a way to spend more time away from him.

We go through our workout doing our routine for the last few day. I no longer run with Eric but I run with Jeff and our P.T. is no longer such a chore as I have now become use to it. I've been trying to push myself even harder the last few days because the pain pushes away any other emotions that I may have. Somewhere in my mind I also know that it keeps Eric from being able to say something while we work out.

Before I even realize, our workout is over and I go back and lay on my bed to listen to my music. I have caught up all my school work and managed to get some of this weeks assignments done already. Anything to keep my mind busy and off him. 'Buried Beneath' comes on and I just stare at the ceiling.

Jeff nudges me to tell me it is breakfast time and we go. "Is she ok today?" I hear Patrick as Jeff quietly as we walk. Jeff just shakes his head no. I know Patrick has noticed too. I have gotten a little more jumpy when people touch me, even when its them that touch me, but I am thankful I do not always react with violence. As I sit down between them and pick at my food I noticed that Eric hasn't come to breakfast. That is good because I don't want to see him anyway. _Damn hypocrite_. He was gone from Dinner last night too, all that crap about making sure I eat and then he skips his meals. I am not hungry and I just sit there until Jeff turns to me. "You need to eat or I am taking you to Max." I look at him pissed that he would even consider that. "You have not been eating enough, I know you don't want to explain, but you have to eat." I roll my eyes, partly because I know he is right. I pick up my fork and eat my eggs and potatoes. When I finish the small plate I had gotten myself I look at him and he gives me a half smile. _So glad I have his approval_ , I think sarcastically.

It is my day to clean up after breakfast and I am glad when Jeff stays to wait for me to finish so I am less likely to walk back alone, but today even that isn't enough. As we are leaving the mess haul Eric stops us. "Danielle, I need to talk to you." I can't look at him and I feel Jeff tense beside me. "I don't want to talk." I feel his eye boring down on me. "You can't avoid me forever you know." I huff and grab Jeff's wrist and look up at Eric. "Watch me," and I pull Jeff as we walk across the field. "I fucking knew it. He did something to you didn't he. I am going to kill him." I stop and Jeff turns to look at me. "Jeff it is not what you think." He looks across the field from where we just came. "Is that so, why don't you clarify what the hell that just was because it sure in the hell didn't sound like an instructor requesting to talk to a cadet." I just shake my head.

"Dani, I have always been around to protect you, and really I don't mind but I cannot help you if you shut me out. I have been patient the last few days but I have seen you slowly deteriorate back into that little girl that hides behind me and it kills me to see you like this. I care so fucking much about you and I feel utterly helpless because I don't know what to do. You need to tell me what the hell is going on Dammit! Please, please let me help you." I look in his eyes and they are so full of anger and hurt and sadness. I don't want to hurt him, he is my best friend and now my misery is his. _Fuck!_ I put my hand on his cheek and look into his eyes, "Jeff I care for you deeply as well. You are my best friend and I am so sorry I am hurting you, but there are some things you cannot protect me from. Things I need to work out on my own. I can't explain this to you because honestly I am not quite sure how to, but I do know this is something I have to fight on my own. Please let me deal with this ok?" I kiss him on the cheek and leave him standing there frozen as I walk into the dorm. I go over and lay down and turn my music all the way up, I don't want to think right now. I see Jeff walk in a minute later and when he sees me he shakes his head a little and heads into the bathroom.

Patrick lets me know when it is time to go. Jeff walks next to me but he seems upset still and doesn't talk to me. I don't know how but I need to fix this between him and I, because as selfish as it sounds, I need him. He is the only thing keeping me tied down.

When we get into class both Paulo and Eric are standing at the mats. Paulo proceeds to tell us that today we are doing our defensive test in which we will each be fighting the instructor. He tells us all to work on our weight training and we will be pulled out individually. _Great_. Well he is right about one thing, I cannot avoid him forever.

I follow the other over to the weights and start my arm exercises, and Paulo and Eric split up, one going to each ring in the gym. I am grateful when Eric pulls Mike and then Huck. I am hoping by some miracle that he will just skip over me.

"Danielle, your up." I guess I am not that lucky, but on a better note, he sounds like the Instructor Eric. Maybe he will just keep this professional. I put my gloves on and step on the mats. Something like concern crosses his face for a moment but he quickly recovers. "Ready?" He ask and I nod, "Let's just get this over with." I put my hands up trying to remember all the different moves we have learned.

We circle for a moment and I attempt the first punch to his face which he easily moves away from. "I really need to talk to you." He says to me. _Crap_. So much for professional. I look over and Paulo and Patrick, they're far enough away not to hear us. "Well I don't want to talk." I try to hit his side and he jumps back out of the way. "Danielle I need to know what I did wrong." I give a little laugh. "I am really surprised you haven't figured it out. Maybe your not as smart as I thought." He makes a lame attempt to hit my side but I move quickly. "Then maybe I am fucking stupid because I am completely at a loss here." He lets down his guard just a little and I capitalize hitting him in his ribs, not holding back and I hear him grunt as his lips press together in a line.

"I am serious, I don't know. Did I hurt you Sunday?" He ask as his eyebrows pull together. How can he not fucking know. He is not protecting himself again and I take the opportunity to kick him in his ribs. It felt so good so release some of this tension and I start to feel braver.

"Yes you did." My face hardens as his turns to concern and sadness. I try to punch again but he grabs my arm and wraps it around on myself so he is holding my arms with my back against his chest. "Dammit, and you couldn't talk to me about it? I told you to tell me if it was too much for you. You seemed fine when I left you back there." _Seriously!_ That is what he thinks I am talking about. I am so pissed off. I turn my hip slightly and suddenly throw my feet in the air grabbing his arms as I swing by feet back down hard throwing him over my shoulder and he hits the mat hard. "That was not what I was fucking talking about." I hiss at him. He seems stunned that I just did that.

"Nice job Dani, about time someone put him on his ass." Paulo tells me and I turn to see him still standing on his mat looking at us. Eric jumps up quickly putting on a good show trying to act like nothing just happened. He looks at me pissed and confused for a minute then clears his emotions. "Good job cadet. You can go back." His voice cold and I think I have just hurt his pride.

* * *

Eric hasn't said another word to me. Even during our hike, I hung in the middle of the group so that I was not near him. Although he keeps looking at me with this odd expression that I just cannot figure out. He has to realize at some point that I saw his little rendezvous with his play thing. We finish up evening P.T. but I still have way too much pent up anger. Jeff still hasn't said much to me either making it worse. Eric goes inside and I decide I am going to go to the gym to use the punching bags. Eric and Paulo usually go right after dinner so I should be ok. I tell Jeff I am going to the gym and he just nods.

When I get inside I put on some gloves and I dig in hitting the bag. Today has been much more frustrating and I am confused about Eric's reaction to what I said. I start to get into a rhythm as I blare 'Trenches' by Pop Evil. As the song ends I notice the door open and I see Paulo and Eric come in. _Shit._ Why are they in here so late? Eric looks shocked that I am in here which is not normal. Typically he always knows where I am. I don't think he would say anything in front of Paulo but I don't know. He comes over to the bag next to me and starts hitting it and I see he didn't put gloves on. I can't sit here and watch him. I take out my ear buds and take off my gloves walking past him.

"Running again?" He ask me in a low voice and he hits the bag hard. My irritation rises. "I'm not running."

"Really because that is what it seems like to me. You can't deal with something and you run. You know something is seriously wrong with you." My anger goes through the roof and I turn toward him. "Fuck off, I am not the asshole." He huffs and he turns toward me. "Oh what I am. How is that, because you have made up so stupid shit in your head convincing yourself I did something I didn't?" So now he is calling me delusional. "I didn't imagine what I saw Eric. It was pretty plain as day you fucking prick." I tell him trying to keep my voice down because Paulo isn't far away.

He walks up to me, "and what the fuck did you think you saw because I am pretty sure I left you satisfied coming down off your orgasm and the next time I saw you, you were pissed!" He doesn't raise his voice but his face is full of anger. I guess I have to spell this shit out. "Well I am pretty sure I didn't imagine Lynn all up on your shit. Maybe you should make sure she follows your rules a little better next time." His eyebrows pull together. "You saw that?" All the anger is gone. "Yes I did and I am not a little fucking toy for you to play with when you get board with your little hoe, so you can leave me the hell alone and run to her with your problems." I turn to leave but he grabs my wrist pulling me back so that I am inches from his chest. "Danielle wait you don't understand?" I look up. "I understand just fine. You want to fuck her, that is just fine you are a grown ass man but you are not dragging me along for the ride." Tears are threatening to spill and he looks confused. "Babe please, let." I slap him hard across the face, not letting him finish. "Don't, Just Don't. We're done here." I pull my wrist away and I turn and walk out the door. "I fucking knew it." I hear Paulo say, but I can't listen to anything else.

I run back to the dorm and grab some clothes and go into the shower. Ignoring the looks from the others. I managed to keep my tears in until I am under the water and then I can't stop them. I know I said I wouldn't cry anymore over this, but hearing him confess to being there, even though I already knew, it was just like a punch in the gut. This is so unfair. I think I had finally found someone I could have a relationship with and he turns out to a bastard that can't keep it in his pants. I cry my tears out and after washing up, I get ready for bed and go in to face the boys.

Jeff has a really worried look on his face when I come in and it gets worse when he sees my face. I sit down and face him. He is my best friend and he deserves the truth, I just need some time. "Hey, I am sorry for earlier and you are right. You are my closest friend and you deserve to know. You have seen me through some of my worst times in my life and you will always have a special place in my heart. Please just give me a few days and I will explain it all to you, I promise." He smiles at me and comes to sit next to me patting me on the leg. "I can do that that." The lights go out. Jeff kisses me on my temple and gives me a side hug. "Goodnight." He says sweetly and goes to get in his own bed. I grab my ear buds and turn on the music. I am so tired and exhausted, sleep takes me as I listen to the first song that comes on:

 _I never thought I'd feel this_  
 _Guilty and broken down inside_  
 _Living with myself, nothing but lies_

 _I always thought I'd make it_  
 _But never knew I'd let it get so bad_  
 _Living with myself is all I have_

 _I feel numb, I can't come to life_  
 _I feel like I'm frozen in time_

 _Living in a world so cold, wasting away_  
 _Living in a shell with no soul, since you've gone away_  
 _Living in a world so cold, counting the days..._

* * *

 **So now he knows. How is he going to get out of this... As always all comments and reviews welcome. Until next time :)**

 **(Music Credit: Trenches - Pop Evil & World So Cold - Three Days Grace)**


	23. Chapter 23

**As always, you guys are great. This chapter is a little longer but there was no way I was breaking it up, so I really hope you enjoy!**

 **This chapter is rated MA. Proceed with caution.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 23:**

 _(Saturday July 11th)_

I have mixed feelings on whether or not this trip is going to be a good one. Max informed us last night at evening P.T. that today, we will be leaving for our hike to the Lookout tower. He told us it is a half day hike to get up there and that we would be leaving after lunch today and hiking back down in the morning. They sure don't give us much notice when we do stuff. I suppose that is to keep us from planning our escape or something. My schedule shows that we only have our educational classes today which is fine by me because then I don't have to spend time with Eric. He has backed off a little since Wednesday and stop trying to talk to me all the time, but I still catch him looking over at me a lot, almost deep in thought.

Unfortunately I still haven't been sleeping a lot, especially after Wednesday night. I fell asleep fast Wednesday but I awoke several hours later when I felt Eric's fingers moving my hair out of my face and him running his fingers along my jaw. I was shocked, but I held still not wanting him to know I was awake. After a minute I felt his lingering fingers leave my face and I heard him walk to the end of my bed, but no further. I chanced peaking up and I saw that he had sat down at the end of my bed on my chest with his head in his hands. He just sat there for almost 30 minutes before he got up and left, giving me one last look. I assume he was saying his goodbyes because I have not seen him in our dorm since.

I also let another part of him go yesterday morning after P.T. I was getting out a clean shirt when found his sweater that was still in my chest. I figured I shouldn't keep it now that we aren't together, but I really didn't want to see him. He and Four had walked toward Max's office when I came inside so I figured I would just leave it on his bed. When I got into the instructors dorm I stopped. Paulo was there and after a second of debating, I decided I just need to do it. Paulo pretty much already knew and I was just returning something, no big deal so I explained I was just returning it and I set it on the bed. I paused there as I thought about the time Eric and I spent just sitting on that bed. It is where he got me to confess my darkest secret, then he held me, comforting me. I realized after the bonfire that he actually felt bad for hurting me. Now I am not so sure that was entirely true, maybe he just said that to get closer to me. As I was leaving Paulo had tried to say something but when I gave him a dirty look and shook my head he dropped it.

Jeff, Patrick and I head to our Health class. I have made a big effort to be polite to Tris. Although I don't think it is going to keep me out of the bottom this week since I walked out on my counseling session. Still, I shouldn't be taking out my anger on Tris. She is actually one that has remains nice to me despite my attitude. Jeff nudges me when we get to class and smiles at me trying to cheer me up. He has been really patient with me giving me the few days I have requested, I smile at him grateful that he is there. I have thought about it over and over but I don't know how I am going to tell him. I just really have never had much a private life and I really don't feel comfortable talking about it, even with him. I think part of it is that I am pretty embarrassed about what happened, but I know he will not be patient for ever.

We begin our second class before I know it, and we discussed the Lookout that we are going to be hiking to. She was able to cleverly tie it into the progression of technology. Apparently back in the old days there were large towers in the mountains that men would lived in watching for fires so they could alert people. The one we are hiking to is one of those that is still standing and has been restored. As we finish up the class, Tris lets us know we have 30 minutes to get ready and to be back out to the stage; telling us that we were to bring a change of clothes, a jacket and a sweater out with us.

We go outside and there is a flurry of activity going on. It seems like everyone is working on our prep for the hike. There are black hiking backpacks that are lined up in front of stage. I am curious to know how much of the staff is actually going with us, there are a lot of bags sitting there. Jeff pulls me because I have slowed to a crawl and I pick it up. When we get inside everyone is moving around. "Wonder if we all share the same tents." Mike says. I really hope not, last thing I want to do is sleep close to him. I actually don't know how well I would do in such a confine space with all the guys. "Ha, I wonder if they will let us bunk with one of the girls." Huck speaks up. I laugh, "And who would you want to be sharing with?" He smiles at me, "Wouldn't you like to know." I roll my eyes at him. I remember I forgot to ask if I could bring my IPod. I really don't want to go into the instructors dorm but I really want to take it. I chance it and hope that Eric isn't in there.

Of course my luck isn't that good. Paulo and Eric are both in there, but Eric's back is turned to me as he leans over his desk tapping away at his tablet. I have had a bit of a hard time looking Paulo in the face after he heard Eric and my conversation, I only did it the other day because I needed to stop that conversation before it started. But I am not going to ask Eric so I turn toward Paulo. "Uh, Paulo am I allow to bring my IPod?" Eric turns around at the sound of my voice. Paulo looks at me then at Eric who nods at him, before looking at me. He gives me a sad smile and then turns back around. Damn, why does he have to look so moppy. "Sure that is fine." He gives me a strange look and I am suddenly very uncomfortable. "Thanks." I say as I leave.

Ok that wasn't so bad. Maybe things will start getting a little easier. I grab all my stuff and we go out to the stage I assume they will be giving us backpacks to put our stuff in. When we get there, Uriah starts handing out the backpacks and gives us a marker to write our names on the tape that goes across the top. When everyone is outside and has a back pack, Max comes out to the stage.

"Alright cadets. This hike will last for the rest of this day and the first half of tomorrow. Your instructors will be escorting you up to the Lookout. This is a traditional hike and you will be stoping to see several things on the way up. There is a awesome waterfall and the Old Oak that is still standing, things like that. You will stay the night at the Lookout Tower and then you will be taking the shorter trail back down. As always, do not stray away from the staff or your trackers will be activated. Marlene and Will are going to be joining you on this hike as support. I hope everyone enjoys your hike and I will see you when you get back." He smiles at all of us and then Eric gets up on stage.

"Everyone, go ahead and take a seat. Christina will be handing out your lunch that you have five minutes to eat and to get your stuff put in your bag." Christina hands me a brown lunch bag with a sandwich, a protein bar and a water. "Everyone has been given a backpack that you can put your personal stuff in, but it also contains supplies that we need. Everyone will pull their own weight on this hike and I will not be listening to complaining. Some of these trails can get a little dangerous so listen and pay attention to where you are going. I will not be happy if I have to report bad news to Max." Eric has a completely straight face but Paulo ruins the seriousness when he smiles. "Keep close to us and we should get along just fine. You got four minutes and then on your feet."

I stuff my clothes in my pack and eat my sandwich quickly before we get up to hike.

* * *

Almost eight hours later we finally make it. My feet are aching and I'm so grateful we are finally here. We stop and Four starts talking about the tall wood lookout tower in front of us and its history in the area. When he is done with his speech we all drop our packs and Eric, Paulo and Zeke take us up. I laugh a little when I see Four isn't coming with us. With his fear of heights he must really loath this trip.

On our way up there were tons of cliffs we walked next to. Then we had to cross a bridge that was just a thick wire to walk on that was connected to two more thick wires on either side to hold on to. The drop below was probably 30 or 40 feet. I thought Four was going to die when he crossed it although he tried his best not to show it.

It is killer trying to climb all these steps after we just hiked for eight hours, but as we get to the top, it is completely breath taking. There is a platform walkway with two rails running around the entire building sitting at the top. Inside is a small room with glass windows going all the way around and includes a bed, desk, old instruments and other odd ball stuff. I go out to the walkway and the sun is just starting to set. Looking down I see why Four stayed down below. We are really far up giving us a view of the whole ridge and the valley below. It is so beautiful being lit up by the dying sun. "Its really beautiful up here this time of day." Eric says looking out at the valley. I just nod my head not sure what to say to him. We stand there in silence for a minute just taking in the sinking sun. I see him glance at me and then turns, walking back to the group.

We go back down and Four has pulled out all of the tents setting them in two tight rows where they need to be put up. There are two people to each tent and he explains how we need to set them up. They pop up pretty easy and we set them up together with the staff tent placing theirs in a large circle around us. They do not let us sleep co-ed to Huck's dismay and Eric and Marlene are the only ones that get their own tents. Eric because he is the head leader and Marlene because she was the only woman staff member. I take it Marlene was required to come in case we get hurt.

There was one close call on our way up. Huck, Mike, Jeff and I were hiking right behind Eric. There was a steep ridge on one side of us. I really hadn't been paying attention to the guys because was listening to my music focusing on the next step in front of me. Apparently Mike had shoved Jeff who stumbled against me. Not expecting it, I fell backward toward the ridge. My hands flew out trying to stop myself from falling and I was able to grab a branch of the tree on the edge, but my pack was heavy and my feet were barely keeping their grip on the edge as I leaned out over it. Before I could process what was happening, Eric was grabbing me around my waist and pulled me back to safety. I swear I saw fear cross his eyes but it quickly turned to relief. He had stared into my eyes just a moment longer then he really should have before he released me and then he turned and ripped Mike a new one. I felt really sorry for him, Eric can be a little scary sometimes. It is probably really good for Mike that I was fine other than a deep cut on my hand that Marlene clean and wrapped.

By the time we got all the tents set up and our sleeping bags inside, Eric and Paulo already have the fire built in the pit. Eric tells us we get the rest of the evening to just sit and talk and Uriah hands out bags of M&Ms to snack on. They are so delicious after eating the MREs that we stopped and ate for dinner on our way up. I just look up into the sky as the guys are being goofing seeing if they could throw them into each others mouths.

Of course Huck was good at it and as it turned out so was Royce. We all just sit around talking until Leeann suggest we play a group version of 20 questions. I really don't want to but I am not putting damper on our evening. Royce suggest we take off clothing if we don't want to answer but Eric put a quick stop to that. Looking at me when he says 'absolutely not'. So we just play.

Leeann starts. "Mike what is the craziest thing you have ever done?"

"Stole a car." He shrugs like it was nothing. "Tara are you a virgin?"

Wow, way to to turn that one quickly. She looks at him shocked. "Seriously?"

He gets a big grin on his face. "Common it just a question."

She breaths deeply. "Fine, Yes." Mike eyes get big. "Wow, really?"

Tara shakes her head, "Yes, moving on. Patrick, you got a girl back home." His face goes a bit pink. "Yes."

Now it is my turned to be shocked. I didn't know that.

"D." _Shit_. I look down at my hands. "Out of pure curiosity, who was the first guy you kissed."

 _Crap_ , I look at Jeff and then back at my hands. "I fucking knew it. Jeff you fucking dog." I look over at Jeff a little confused. "You never told him?" He looks at me annoyed. "No, although he has tried for years to get me to say it. You let that one out of the bag." He looks at Patrick pissed, "and for the record it was at camp when we were 13 out on the docks. I kissed her, she kissed me back and nothing else happens. So drop it now." Patrick puts up his hands in defense and Royce laughs. My face must be pretty red right now. Out of the corner of my eye I see Eric get up and walk toward the Lookout and lean against it so I can no longer see his face, just his outline.

"Um ya ok, moving on." I say. "Four, why is they call you Four." He looks at me incredulous, "I ain't in this game." A few others chime in with 'come on' but he refuses. "Fine Huck, is there someone here that you like?" I know he does and I just want the attention off my admission. "Yep," He says quickly and moves on.

We keep going for a little while longer. Thankfully everyone left me alone when they figured out there were several crushes amongst our group. Everyone trying to get names out of each other.

We end up back to just having random conversations. Most people have gone to bed including Jeff and Patrick when Paulo waves me over to the edge of the fire. "What's up?" I ask him. "Can I show you something? I promise it isn't anything bad." I laugh a little and shrug. "Okay." He turns and we go over to the lookout and start climbing the stairs. As we go up I am a little nervous and curious at the same time, but then again I really don't think Paulo would do anything bad. We get to the top and he turns around. "Please don't be mad ok." I look at him confused as he steps aside letting me pass and I see Eric standing out on the walk way looking up at the sky. "Just give him five minutes. Please." I look back to him and then to Eric again. I roll my eyes at him. "Fine, Five minutes." Paulo smiles and start going back down.

I go out to the walk way. "Hey," He says nervously. "Can we sit and talk for a few minutes?" I huff at him because I am here. "Apparently I have already agreed to that." He goes to grab my wrist but I pull it back. He looks down kind of sad and motions to the floor so I sit and he sits next to me. I look up at the stars and it is so beautiful out here. I have never seen so many stars in my life, and being up here where it is so dark and high up off the ground, it is almost like I am floating in the sky.

"I am not really sure where to start." he tells me. "Eric you don't need to. I saw it and that is all there is." my voices is quite and small as I play with a sting on my pants.

"But it isn't." I am not sure what to say to that. "The thing is, I haven't had many normal relationships, in fact I have only had one other relationship that was purely exclusive, and it didn't end because I cheated on her. All my other relationships were with women that knew it was an open relationship. They all knew I was not good with emotional attachment. As you now know, one of those was with Lynn although that was mostly out of convenience."

I am getting more irritated, "Eric I really don't want to listen to this shit. What you do with your life is your business." I take a deep breath hoping he just stops. "Wait, please hear me out. What you saw the other day, you only saw part of the conversation. I honestly didn't know what you were so upset about at first, then when you told me I went back and looked. The camera's were still on since they are only off when Lynn is actually in session." He hands me his tablet and it shows both classrooms on two different cameras. I look at him not sure what he wants. "Watch it, please."

I click the play button, and watch as I see me on one half entering one room and Eric in the other walking over to lean on the desk. I watch it and it isn't any better watching it instead of just hearing it: Eric is picking at his nails as I watch Lynn walk up to him and I see it all over again. My anger starts to boil up.

 _"Fuck Lynn, I said I told you I don't do this shit at work." and I see me rush out of the room on one side of the screen. "What is the matter Eric, you don't want me anymore because that would be a first?" She says sarcastically. "Actually, I don't. I am in a relationship with someone and I plan on being with just her." She laughs still not moving back from him. "Since when do you do exclusive?" She drags her finger down his chest and Eric looks a little irritated. "Since I met her." He gets up causing her to move back and he goes and stands against the wall._

 _"Damn, your serious?" What a stupid bitch. "Yes Lynn I am serious. So this little thing that we had, its done. Got it." He says firmly looking her in the eyes and she actually looks embarrassed. "Um, ya ok, if that is what you want then so be it." Shit, he did tell her, and I didn't stay around to find out. "So are we still friends or are you not interested in that either." She sounds a little hurt but he rolls his eyes and answers her, "Yes I want to be friends, but this girl is, I don't know, special, and I want to try to give our relationship a chance and I don't want my past life messing it up."_

 _She gives a fake laugh, "Ya ok, strictly friends, I get it. So do I get to know who it is?" She seems a little hurt for someone that was just an occasional fling. He gets a worried look on his face. "Not right now, maybe later ok. I got to go, I will talk to you later." He gets pushes off the wall and leaves the room._

 _Shit._ I kinda feel like crap now but not completely. He really shouldn't have let her get up on him like that before he said something. "When I realized you only saw the first part of that conversation, I figured out why you were so upset. I wanted to explain but it took me the last few days to figure out if I should. I told you that this would probably end up with you being hurt and that is not what I wanted for you. I do not like it when I hurt you and I have been thinking if maybe it would be better for me just to let you go so you can have a relationship with a normal person. When I came back to my room yesterday and my sweater was sitting there, I knew you had given up on our relationship. I thought I had resolved it in my head to let you be, but then today turned everything upside down." He stops to take a deep breath and he looks back at the sky.

"First you almost fell over that ledge and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life. It took all the restraint I could muster to not kill your little friend." He takes another deep breath. I can tell he is having a hard time talking about this. "Then we were sitting around and you guys were playing your little game. When you admitted Jeff was your first kiss it angered me because I don't want to think about anyone else kissing you. I want to be kissing you."

He looks down into my eyes. His face is lit by the moonlight and I can see compassion in his eyes. "Danielle I want you back. I know you have no reason to and it is unfair to ask you but I am hoping you will give me another chance anyway." He looks down and sliding something into my hands. "What's this?" I asked confused. He gets a small smile on his face. "A peace offering. Even if you don't want to be with me, you should have it. I bought it for you."

I get really nervous. When did he by this for me? Why would he buy me anything. The box is deep blue velvet. "Please open it." he request in a whisper as he pulls at his lip. He must be nervous too. I open it and my eyes get wide and my mouth drops open.

 _Holy shit_. It is a white gold pendant necklace. The pendant has two dolphins chasing each other in a circle around a beautiful black opal with blue floating in it. I look above it inside the cover it says '24k White Gold and Genuine Rare Black Opal'. I am speechless, this is one of the ones I had run my hand over at the fair. It was so pretty but I was completely shocked at the $600 price tag. How did I not see him buy this? This is way too much, I can't accept this. "Eric this is way to expensive, I can't accept this."

"Don't worry about the money. I know you like it because I saw the way you stared at it. You love dolphins and you love blue, I don't see how anything could better suit you." I look up at him shocked at how observant he has been. He looks so young and caring, something I have only seen the few times we have been alone. "Please, even if you don't want to be with me, take this, it is yours." He gives me a sad smile and then looks back down.

I reach up and pull his face back up so I can look in his eyes. All my anger, irritation and sadness from the last few day has dissolved completely away. I look deeply in his eyes hoping he can sense everything I feel as my heart is being pulled to him. "Thank you." I pull him down and kiss him gently on the lips. He seems a little surprised at first but doesn't resist and after a moment his lips turn more desperate like he is afraid he my never touch them again. All the longing and need instantly reappears as he pulls me to him.

He breaks our kiss in need of air and he puts his forehead to mine. "Danielle I am so sorry, please forgive me, please be with me." His word hit me hard and I cannot deny him. I kiss him again, "okay." I mumble on his lips and he deepen our kiss.

I want him, I need him. His worry has been replaced with lust as he holds my face to him. He pushes me back gently lowering my body to the floor as he positions himself next to me. His hand slides under my shirt. The feeling of his hands on me is amazing sending shivers all over my body. He pushes my sports bra up releasing my breast and his hands gently massage them. His lips leave my mouth and he kisses me down my neck as he twist and pulls at my nipples, resonating down between my legs. I moan and I feel his smile on my neck.

He pushes my shirt up exposing me to the chill of the night which is replaces by his warm mouth. I pull his hair trying not to moan again and he hums still sucking on my nipple causing me to squirm under him. He puts his hand across my stomach and I know his intentions. He moves it down unbuttoning my pants with ease and slides his hand in my pants and down my underwear where he stops. I ache for him to touch me there. He brings his mouth to me. "Can I please?" he begs me. Words elude me at the intense feeling I lost in, so I crush my lips to his answering wordlessly.

He slides his fingers into my folds and pushes one finger inside me as I gasp at the amazing feeling. The odd tug starts to build almost immediately. I feel him harden against me and he slides in another one and the pleasure is so incredible. "Always so wet for me." He bits at my neck. "Did you miss me?"

"Hmmm." is all I can manage. "I think I owe you something." I have no idea what he is talking about. He pulls his fingers out of me suddenly and he moves his head down as he slowly begins kissing down my stomach. He looks at me with a sly smile as he begins to pull my pants off, kissing down my legs as he peels them down. He quickly removes my boots. When he has them off he runs his fingers down my thigh slowly and I see the lust in his eyes. He looks in my eyes as he put his hands on the top of my underwear silently asking for my permission. I nod ever so slightly and he doesn't hesitate, quickly and expertly removes them. I see his breath quicken as he looks at me down there and he sucks in his bottom lip biting it.

He moves back up so he is over me and I am confused being he still has all his clothes on. He leans down to kiss me and I hold the back of his neck as he pushes his very swollen self against me, only the fabric of his pant separating us. I push myself up to relieve my insane ache. His lips bit my earlobe as he moans in my ear and then whispers to me, "I always keep my promises." and he begins kissing down my jaw, then down my neck. I try to remember what promise he is talking about, but as his mouth moves down to my breast again I can't concentrate. When he continues down sucking and kissing down my stomach I suddenly remember what he said as he left me behind the mess haul. I feel the hard ball on his tongue as he sucks on my stomach. I can't believe he is about to do this right now. He pauses looking up at me, biting his barbell with a sly smile and I almost loose it before he has even dose anything. He move down kissing my thighs and when he reaches the apex I moan louder than I mean to. He looks at me with a very satisfying look. "You are going to have to quiet down or I will have to stop." He continues and I can no longer watch what he is about to do. I look up into the sky lost in the intensity. I breath in sharply as I feel his tongue on me for the first time. My back arches and I feel his arm wrap under my leg and his hand spread across my stomach holding me down. I am having a hard time trying to stay quiet as he wraps his other arm around my other thigh pulling my legs further apart. His tongue moves magically around my clit, up and down along my folds, over and over teasing my entrance, and the pull is getting unbearable.

"Eric I am going to come." I tell him because I don't know if I can handle this feeling. "I'm counting on it." His voice is so low and ruff. "Danielle, its ok babe, let go." His tongue enters me and he hums sending vibrations through my whole body and I can't stop it. My orgasm rips through me and I think it is going to tear me in half. I have to cover my mouth with both hands to stay quiet. He continues to move his tongue sending aftershocks through my body as he holds me down making me absorb them. When I finally come back down and manage to open my eyes, he is leaning over me running his fingers a long my face. "Hey you," he smiles at me. I can only smile back, that was the most incredible thing ever. "That was beyond incredible," He says mirroring my thoughts as he bites his lip again and then kisses me. I expect him to stop but he doesn't and I can feel the desire and longing in his kiss.

I feel the ache again already, Geez, how can I still want more. Feeling bold, I undo his buckle and I feel him body stiffen a little. I quickly undo his button before he can stop me and slide my hand in his pants over his boxers. As I begin to message him he relaxes, "Fuck!" he says as I feel a shiver go through his body. "Danielle I really want you right now, so if you don't want this I need you to stop right now." I continue without a second thought and I hear him growl. "Are you sure?" he ask me and I squeeze him in my hand. "Ahh fuck." He grabs my hand pulling it out of his pants and pushes it above my head and I look at him confused. He kisses my nose. "You are going to make this end much quicker than I want it too." I hear the lust in his voice and I am still a little confused. He smiles and lets go of my hand, moving his hand down between my legs and begins to tease my already sensitive clit again. He slides his fingers into me. "God I love that you are so wet for me. I need to get you close. This is going to be much quicker then I prefer." He moves his lips to my neck as he begins to slide his finger in and out slowly as his thumb circles my clit, building up the pull that is becoming familiar.

My head is tilted back and my eyes are closed as he continues to push me higher kissing, sucking and biting my neck, my jaw, my breast. He suddenly stops and I assume he can no longer help himself, I feel him move rather quickly doing something but I don't open my eyes. I hear him tear open the wrapper and a second later he is leaning over me as he pushes my legs apart with his own positioning himself at my entrance. I feel his warmth against me and I realize he has removed all of his clothes, "Babe look at me."

I comply and look up into his eyes feeling a little nervous about what we are about to do. His eyes are so full of lust. "Are you sure you want this?" He ask me one last time. I pull his lips down to me. "Yes." I whisper and kiss him gently before he pulls back to look at me. He smiles and pushes into me quickly and then stops as I close my eyes and gasp at the shocking feeling. "Fuck! You are so tight." His voice so low and rough driving me crazy. He is so big it hurts but at the same time he feels so damn good. His forehead is on mine and he gives me a minute to get use to him. His breaths have gone erratic, "You ok?" I swallow loudly and nod my head looking into his eyes. He starts moving slowly watching me as he does. The feeling is so foreign but it feels so incredibly good and I can't help lifting my hips to meet his as the pull inside me gets stronger and stronger. He picks up speed and I am so close. I don't know if I can handle another orgasm and I try to hold it in. "Dammit Danielle, give it to me now!" He growls as he slams into me hard, pushing me over the edge as another orgasm rips through me even more relentless then the first one. His lips crush to mine to quiet my moans and he quickly follows causing him to moaning into my mouth as we ride out our orgasms together.

When my thoughts finally come down out of the clouds he is still inside me, hovering over me trying to catch his breath, resting his head on mine. "You really are the most amazing woman ever." I smile, and put my hand on his cheek, "Your pretty amazing yourself." He rolls over onto his back and we stare up at the stars for a few minutes until our breathing has evened out.

A breeze hits my naked lower half sending a shiver through me. He props himself up on his arm looking down at me with a smile. He grabs something next to him. "Move your legs apart." I looked at him confused but do as he ask. He sits up and I see he has his talk top in his hand. He looks at me with a smile and gently wipes me up. I am so sensitive down there, that it sends shivers up and down my body. "Fuck Eric." He laughs little. "That a girl." He leans down giving me a quick chastising kiss. "Put your pants back on before I decide I can't wait to take you again." The thought makes me blush and I sit up to dress.

When I put my hand down, I feel fabric under my hand. I look down and see that I had been laying on his sweater. _How the hell did that happen,_ I wonder but in retrospect I am grateful as my backside would have been cold and uncomfortable against the rough wood walkway. I glace sideways and I see him remove the condom and even not hard he is still pretty impressive. I can't believe that was just in me. "See something you like?" He smirks when he sees me look at him. I bit back my smile embarrassed that I just got caught looking at his manhood. He grabs my chin giving me another quick kiss before he grabs his pants standing up and slides them on quickly. I stand and do the same.

When we are fully clothed again minus Eric's tank top which he has tucked into his back pocket. He wraps his arms around me and I nuzzle into his bare chest. "Can we stay up here for a bit longer? The stars up here are so beautiful." I ask him. "Sure." He says with a chuckle as he takes my hand and turns back toward the wall where his sweater is. He grabs it and the box next to it. He puts his sweater on and embarrassment hits me again as I think that we just had sex on the sweater. He sits down with a smile as I am sure he knows what's going on in my head. "Come here." He pulls my arm down and I sit between his legs with my back to his chest. He opens the box he picked up and takes out the necklace. He opens the clasp and wraps it around the front of me and pushes me up a little so he can clasp it around my neck. He kisses my neck before pulling me back against him. "Keep it hidden under your t-shirt if you wear it. Cadets are not suppose to have jewelry." He warns me. The chain is thicker and long, and the pendant falls just above my breast. I pick it up and look at it closely. "It really is beautiful, thank you." He kisses the top of my head. "I guess it is fitting that you are wearing it then." My heart swells. This man has no idea how incredibly sweet he can be when he wants to be. I stare up at the stars with his arms wrapped around me.

After a bit I have to shift. Now that I have come down off my high, the dull ache between my legs is becoming more noticeable. "You feel ok?" He must know it is the reason for me moving. "Ya, I'm ok, just a little sore." I feel him bring his mouth down to my ear. "Not to be an ass but I am actually pretty happy about that." He chuckles. "Its normal the first few times to be a little sore. I guess I will have to give you a few days before we do that again." I want to laugh at his presumption, even though it is true. "And how exactly do you know that was my first time." He runs his fingers along my collarbone. "Well, I had a hunch before but when I cleaned you up, there was a little blood. Dead give away." he laughs.

 _OMG!_ I cannot believe he just said that. I slap his leg, "Jerk. That is not funny." My anger showing through. "Hey don't be mad, I am incredibly honor and happy to be your first." He sits up just a little so he can kiss my shoulder and I lean my head to the side giving him better access. "I also would love to give you a lot more first here in the close future." Fuck, his sexy low voices resonates right between my legs. I turn my head and grab his neck pulling his lips to mine. As our kiss deepens so does my need of him. I twist my body so I am facing him and I kiss down his jaw to his neck. "Fuck, babe you gotta stop." I really don't want to. "Why?" I say disappointed as i look down. He pulls my chin back up so I can see his eyes. "For one, I need you to be able to walk back to camp tomorrow and it is already going to be a bit uncomfortable, and second, I don't have another condom. Believe it or not, I didn't plan for this to happen tonight." I laugh, "Really then why did you have one at all?"

He smiles and stands up pulling me with him. "Well after you damn near jumped me the night of the bonfire, I have have made it a point to carry one at all times." I raise and eyebrow. "If I remember correctly, you were all too happy about that."

"That I was. Come on, we should head back down. He tucks my necklace in my shirt and gives me a big hug, before sliding the box for it in my pocket. He takes my hand and we start toward the stairs. "And princess, don't wear any tank tops for the next few days." I don't think anything of his comments as we go down the stairs. When we get to the bottom I can see the only person that is still up is Paulo. Eric turns to me before we get near the tents and fire. "You should probably go to bed." He gives me a cute smile and I move to go to my tent giving him a shy smile.

I see him go over to Paulo who is looking at him. As I am getting into my tent with Tara I hear Paulo whisper. "You know that smirk on your face is a dead giveaway." I bit my lip. Shit he knows what we just did. "Shut the fuck up. You have no idea what you are talking about." Eric keeps his voices low so I can barely hear him. "So how was it." Typical males, can never keep their mouths shut. "Seriously dude, we are not having this conversation." Thank god. I really don't think I could never look Paulo in the face if Eric did tell him. I cuddle into my sleeping bag and fall asleep listening to their whispers.

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 **I know right! That was a difficult chapter to write imagining Jai doing all those things. Ya...I needed a cold shower, but there you go. Hope you enjoyed it. Comments and reviews always welcome. Until next time!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Glad to hear you all liked that last chapter so much. Loved all the reviews. I can't wait to see more, as always you guys are awesome. Enjoy.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

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 **Chapter 24:**

 _(Sunday July 12th)_

I wake up early. My body feels exhausted but I have been use to waking at five in the morning and I cannot go back to sleep. I look at my watch and it is exactly five. I think everyone is asleep because I don't hear anyone, but I need to get up and stretch. I step outside my tent and the light is just over the horizon, I slip on my sweater because it is still chilly. Eric is sitting on a log with his ear phones on next to the fire. He has a big grin on his face as he just stares into the fire. As I begin to walk I realize how sore and tired my lower half is. He sees me and removes his headphones and stands up. "Good morning."

"Good morning." I smile back and go sit down on a log next to where he just was. "You want some coffee?" He ask and I nod. Coffee sounds awesome. He pours me a cup from the pot on the fire and hands me a tin mug. "Sorry, no milk or sugar." I shrug indifferent to the idea of black coffee. He pours himself a cup as well and sit down next to me. "How do you feel this morning?"

"Honestly, tired and sore." His grin gets bigger and I roll my eyes. I mean that is sore too but my legs also are sore from our long hike yesterday. "You know, Paulo was right. That grin is a dead giveaway." I laugh. "Well no one is up now," He whispers to me and kisses my neck.

"Besides he has no room to talk. He wasn't waiting up for me last night. He was waiting for everyone to go to sleep so he could sneak into Marlene's tent." He says quietly. I am shocked. "What?" He chuckles. "They kinda have had a thing for a while but they don't want the others to know. It's why I wasn't too opposed to him knowing about us. I keep my mouth shut about them and he will keep his shut about us. It may actually come in handy like it did last night." I smile looking down thinking about Paulo taking me up to the tower.

"Why would they care if someone knew?" He shrugs. "Paulo is pretty private, well mostly, but they also would lose privileges. There is a reason Tris and Christina are not on this trip. Max wants us to make sure we focus on you guys."

I hear some getting out of a tent. It is Paulo and he is getting out of Marlene's tent. He looks at me shocked like he is surprised to see me up. I try to hide my smile as he walks over to us. "Morning," He grabs out a cup and pours himself some coffee. "Did you get any sleep Eric?"

"Ya, I slept real good for a few hours, but you know me, my body is wired to be up at 4:30 everyday." He tries to hold in his smile when he says the first part and I look down at the ground. "You know Dani, if you don't want people to know you really need to work on that blushing thing." I look at him shocked at his bluntness, no wonder he and Eric get alone. I go a few more shades redder. "Paulo don't be an ass." Eric tells him trying to hold in a smile. "Hey you mind if we go up in the tower for a few before everyone starts to wake up?" Paulo nods his head and Eric stand grabbing my hand. "Come on, the sunrise here is awesome. Well be back in 15." He tells Paulo as he pulls me toward the tower.

"Too many stairs to early." I tell him having a hard time making back up. "Come on I know you can do it." We make it to the top and walk out to the outside. It really is beautiful. There are a few clouds and the sun is throwing beautiful pinks, blues and purples on them. Eric stands behind me, hands around my waist holding me as we looking out over the valley. The air here is so clean and I take a deep breath. "I love this. It is so beautiful and perfect." I say letting him know my thoughts. "That it is."

"You know I never got around to apologizing last night." I feel him huff behind me. "For what exactly?" Just say it... "Well, granted I was pretty pissed at you for letting Lynn get all up on you, which was not ok, even if you eventually pushed her away, I should have given you a chance to explain. I'm sorry. I guess I overreacted." He is quiet for a minute. "Its ok Princess, lets just put it behind us." I nod.

"You really ok about last night. I mean I know it was kind of a big deal being it was your first time." I roll my eyes at his nervousness. Being self conscious does not suit him. "Your kidding right." He stays quiet and I turn toward him. "Lets see, my first time was out under the stars with an unbelievably sexy, smart, sweet man that just about drove my completely crazy." I pause as he licks his lip. "I really don't see how it could have been any better."

He smiles at me. "Glad you think so highly of me." He kisses me gently and I wrap my hands around his neck so he cannot pull back. I want him. He pulls me tighter against him and I deepen our kiss but when I bite his lip, he growls at me. "Stop that shit, it is like an instant wake up call to my dick." His bluntness knows no bounds. "Good to know." I mummer on his lips. "Babe, I am serious, you are going to want a few days to recover. I would much rather the next time be pleasurable, not painful." I bite my lip and look at him with wanting eyes. "You mean I have to wait a few more days?" I say whinning a little. He sighs and adjust his pants and I assume he is getting frustrated at his inability to control his hard-on. I can't help to be proud about that. He kisses me one more time before pulling back with a sigh. "You are going to be the death of me." I laugh at his dramatics. "Well hopefully not anytime soon." He smiles and grabs my hand. "We better get back down there before everyone wakes up.

Right before we go down he turns to me his face very serious. "Next time I fuck up or do something to upset you, please talk to me, don't shut me out. I want to be honest with you and I want you to be honest with me. If there is something wrong, tell me." I feel a little bad knowing we could have resolved this a long time ago if I would have talked to him. I smile up at him "Ya, Ok." He gives me a kiss and we head back down.

Paulo is still the only one awake. "That was quick." I roll my eyes and Eric punches him in the shoulder. "Dude, I was joking." Eric shakes his head. "Ya well enough of the jokes." I laugh at them. They really are pretty funny but Eric only seems irritated at my encouragement.

We sit down and drink our coffee and Paulo and I talk about his life before camp. He tells me that he is from Samoa and describes me about the beautiful scenery there and their way of life. Joseph had told me little about it too. Apparently Samoan's have some anger issues because Paulo tells me that he was here back in the day for assault.

By 07:00 everyone has gotten up and we eat our MRE breakfast. Today's wasn't as bad as last night's dinner and I actually really liked the trail mix. We pack up everything and are ready to go by 8:00. As we get ready to leave Eric speaks up. "Alright we will be taking a quicker trail to get back down to camp, but the trail can get very steep in places so be extremely careful, I do not want a repeat of yesterday." He looks at the guys that were messing around yesterday. "And you," He looks toward me. "Keep one of your ear buds out of your head so you can hear what's going on." Ya ok mister pushy. He is definitely in is 'instructor mode'. I nod and Jeff shoves at my shoulder lightly with a smirk on his face. I see Eric's face darken slightly before he hurries and turns around. "Lets go!"

When Eric said steep he wasn't lying. At one point the path is only a few feet across with drop offs on both sides. My legs are killing me and being sore isn't helping my cause. I have to hold on to the trees that line the path and to Jeff to keep my footing. When Eric looks back he seems irritated that I am holding on to Jeff, but honestly, he needs to get over that. I would much rather hold him but that is not a possibility and Jeff is my friend. He needs to get use to that. I am not giving up my friends over jealousy. I try not to look up at him too much.

Jeff is acting a little strange during our hike back. He keeps a smile on his face but I can tell something is bothering him. There is no way he knows about Eric and I, we were really careful to make sure no one would know. All morning we sat apart and he has been good at keeping the smile off of his face. I start to wonder if Jeff is getting impatient with the explanation I owe him. I still don't know how to explain it. I am not sure if I should now that Eric and I have worked things.

Finally I see the bridge that goes over the river into the main camp. I am so exhausted. Eric tells us to go sit by the stage and Max comes out and does his normal Sunday morning routine. Of course I made the bottom three. This really sucks. I am so frustrated with myself. That is it, no more getting in the bottom. No matter how people piss me off. At least we only have two meals today. Max tells us to report to Uriah right after we clean up for lunch. I really just want to take a shower and lay down. I didn't sleep much and Eric was right, the hike down was quite uncomfortable between my sore legs and the soreness from last night's late night activities. Max tells us to leave our packs and dismisses us giving us 10 minutes to put our stuff away and get to the mess haul for lunch.

I slowly walk into the dorm with everyone else. I look at my schedule and our counseling sessions are only 15 minutes today and there is no evening P.T. _Thank goodness for small favors._ I put my dirty cloths in my bag and as I see my underwear. I debate whether I should throw them away. I noticed when I changed this morning there was indeed blood on them. The indication that he had taken my virginity. Then again I have no idea how to do get rid of them without people noticing them in our communal garbages. I decide to let them be washed and see if it comes out. If not I will find another time to get rid of them. I go and hang my bag for the laundry quickly before we walk to lunch.

"So what did you do this time?" Royce ask me as we walk across the court yard. "Walked out on my counseling session. She was kind of pissing me off. It was that or hit her in her face." He laughs, "Wow good thing I have never pissed you off, but I know what you mean, she gets on my nerves too." That seemed to hit a soft spot with him. "So who is up for a game this evening." I turn to see Huck walking up behind us. "Are you crazy, I ain't doing anything but sleeping. Well except cleaning up after you slobs." I pipe up and he laughs at me. "We aren't that bad." I roll my eyes. Maybe not 1 but when you have 10 guys using the same bathroom, I don't even want to think about it. "I'm in." Royce pipes in and we go inside to eat.

* * *

I wake up and it is late afternoon. Everyone is gone but Jeff who is sitting next to me on my bed. He looks pissed just staring in front of him. Somethings wrong. I sit up. "You ok?" I ask him, for once it is me asking him and not the other way around. "I guess you would say that." I am seriously confused. He turns on the bed to face me. "You want to tell me what has been going on."

"Not particularly. Is there a reason you are suddenly getting so pushy." He grunts and shakes his head. "Lets just say there is no reasons to try to hide it from me anymore." _What the hell!_ "Jeff I don't know what you think you know but I am fairly certain it isn't true." I see the anger rising in his eyes. "That's funny because these are pretty plain as day." He reaches up and pulls down and over on the neck of my shirt. There are two dark marks just above my breast.

 _Shit._ I swat his hand away giving him a dirty look. "So what, you are looking down my shirt now." There is no way he just saw those, my shirt covered them pretty well. "Actually I came in here to check on you, to think I was concerned about you, and your shirt was all twisted exposing them for everyone to see." He seethes. "Then again it was pretty clear what you did last night when you were walking around this morning. You know before today I really thought he was just being a prick to you, not that you were actually with him. But apparently despite the fact that he has been a fucking asshole to you, causing you unimaginable emotional pain, you go and open your legs to him anyway." I am instantly angry and hurt.

I smack him hard across the face before he can say anymore. He looks shocked that I just did that. "Fuck you!" I quickly walk out of the dorm leaving him sitting on my bed. I can't look at him right now or anyone. I need to go somewhere private, but I have no shoes on. I settle for going back behind the dorms where Eric and I spent the night of the bonfire. I slide down the wall, putting my elbows on my knees and my hands behind my head, trying to calm down.

 _Fuck._ Can't shit just be good and stay that way. I am so mad at him for saying that, even if he is kind of right. Eric has caused me all kinds of emotional pain and Jeff was the one that was there for me. He always has been. But I don't understand why he has to be so upset. This is my life and even though I am sure he doesn't want to see Eric hurt me again. Going about it that way was not right. He doesn't get to choose who I am with.

I clench my teeth bang my head back against the wall a couple times hard in frustration. "Stop!" Eric's authoritative voice stops me from continuing. He walks over to me and sets my boots next to me. "Let me guess, you saw that." He squats down and looks in my eyes, he looks a little frustrated, or maybe angry, I can't tell which. "I did." He grabs my hand that smacked Jeff and turns it over. It actually stings a bit now. He tries to smile a little and kisses my palm. "I have been on the receiving side of that before and it doesn't feel to good." I pull my hand out of his and bite the inside of my cheek. "Eric I am really sorry but I would really like to just be alone right now." He presses his lips in a line and nods. "I know. You seem to like to be alone when you are mad. Here," He hands me my Ipod. "I figured you might want that too." He runs his hand along my jaw and stands up. He looks a bit irritated but I hope he understands. I need to work this shit out in my head. Kind of ironic that Eric and Jeff's roles have reversed. "You have counseling in 25 minutes, be on time. And no more hurting yourself." I nod once looking down at the ground and he turns and leaves.

I put on my socks and boots that Eric brought out to me and put my ear buds turning it up my music, singing the words in my head...

 _Crawling in my skin, These wounds they will not heal,_

 _Fear is how I fall, Confusing what is real,_

 _There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface,_

 _Consuming, Confusing,_

 _This lack of self control I fear is never ending,_

 _Controlling, I can't seem, To find myself again,_

 _My walls are closing in..._

* * *

By the time it's time to go to my counseling session, my music has calmed me down a bit. I am a little nervous about seeing Lynn again. I really need to make it through this without over reacting.

"Hello Dani." She says as I walk in; I give her a tight smile. Even though I know he told her, I still don't have to like her. I give her a nod. "So are we feeling better today?" I shrug my shoulders. I sit for a few minutes and she obviously isn't going to let me out without an answer. "Maybe a little, but I am working through a lot of shit right now, stuff I do not want to talk about." She gets a frustrated look on her face. "Ok, so what would you like to talk about, if we had to talk about something."

"I don't know." She thinks about that for a second. "Ok, so last time you said you like to exercise and listen to music when you are mad. So what kind of music?" Apparently the same kind as you. I think about my answer for a minute, the longer I draw this out, the less I have to answer. "Rock, alternative, things like Linkin Park, Theroy of a Dead Man and Three Days Grace."

She smiles, "Really, did you know all three of those bands just play a venue not to far from here yesterday. I actually went." Yes, I am aware you damn twit. "Ya, I heard about some music festival this weekend. Did you go with someone?" Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. "Well actually my really good guy friend had to cancel so I went alone, but I met up with some friends." I want to roll my eyes at her.

"So you told Eric that I cut our session short last week." Trying to get her to talk so I don't have too. She looks at me again, "Yes I did, he is _very good_ at his job and I thought he might be able to talk some sense into you." I know exactly what she meant by 'very good' and she wasn't talking about as an instructor. My anger start to rise again. "Well next time just let me be. When I want to be alone, I want to be alone."

She writes something down. "You know Dani, I am here to help you. Learning to work through your problems is important. Learning your triggers and then finding ways to deal with them in the proper way. The current way you deal with them is obviously what landed you here." I am getting really tired of her preaching to me. She is no miss perfect. I look at my clock. "Well that is all nice in all but there is only one way you can help me and I am not interested in telling you what it is." Like stay the fuck away from Eric. "My fifteen minutes are up, can I leave now?" I stand, and she looks confused. "Um, sure. I will see you next week." I roll my eyes and leave. I made it through yet another session.

I go around the back and walk the outside of the buildings so I don't run into anyone. As I make it behind the cabins I hear a quiet heated argument.

"You don't fucking scare me." _Jeff?_

"I am telling you, you better keep your mouth shut." _Eric?_ What the hell.

"Why are you even doing this? It isn't like you could possibly have feelings for her. She doesn't need this shit, she has been through more than you could possibly imagine." Of course, always trying to protect me.

"Oh, trust me I know exactly what she needs, and for the record, I do know." Eric's irritation is showing in his voice. _Crap._ They are not going to sit here and talk about this shit.

"She told you?" Jeff's voice is barely above a whisper. He knows I have never told anyone. Eric is quiet for minute. "Yes as much as she could, she confided in me, she trust me." His voice is cocky. I want to laugh because that isn't exactly why I told him, he kind of pulled it out of me. "Well I guarantee she didn't tell you everything. I seriously doubt she could ever sit through explaining some of that shit. The things that bastard did was horrible. I was there and I was the one who saw the bruises he left on her, I was the one who comforted her night after night as she cried herself to sleep. Me. Just like I did when you brought all that shit back to the surface. I knew there was a reason her dreams had gotten so bad again. It was because of you, and I am not going to sit here and watch you fuck her over and then leave." I don't think I have ever heard Jeff so angry in my life.

"Oh don't worry Jeff," Eric voice is menacing. "I will fuck her in all sorts of ways you couldn't even imagine. What's the matter, jealous?" and I hear a punch and a struggle.

I hurry and go around the corner that I have been inching my way toward. They are between two cabins and Eric has Jeff pinned to the wall of one. "Stop." I say forcefully as I can without yelling. I do not want to draw anyone over to us. Eric looks at me with shock. He lets Jeff go taking a few steps back until he is against the other wall and looks down obviously pissed he was just caught. I notice a small cut on his lip. It must have been Jeff that hit him. Jeff looks down pissed.

"Both of you just fucking quit right now. Jeff, I am a grown ass woman and I can make my own damn decisions. You don't have to like them but you will respect them or you can consider our friendship as being done. And Eric, you need to leave him the fuck alone. He is right, he has seen me though some fucked up shit and if you care about me even a little you will respect that. Jeff won't say shit so lay the fuck off him. This shit is done right now or you both can stay the fuck away from me!" Jeff looks at me a little surprised and Eric is looking at the ground with a proud smirk on his face and glances up at me.

I turn around and continue walking the way I was going. I hear Eric "I told you! She is stronger than you think." He says it with pride and I hear him run up after me. I half wonder what the hell they said before I walked up on them.

Eric grabs me around my waist successfully stopping me and I don't struggle. "Babe, come on wait."

"Eric. He is just looking out for me. You didn't need to do that." He chuckles, "Do what, your friend hit me. He is lucky I didn't lay his ass out." I turn to face him. "Well maybe next time you should let me deal with him." He bites the inside of his lip. "Ya about that, I would prefer you let me, that boy has it bad for you." I shake my head. "I am not going through this with you. He is a good friend, he was there for me when things were...bad. And he has spent so much time since then trying to protect me from bad shit. I will not stop being his friend so you can get that out of your head now. He is a friend, that's it." He looks at me for a minute. "Ok! But he better keep it strictly friends."

I roll my eyes. "Besides look what happens when you try to deal with it." I pull at his chin and he licks the cut on his lip and gives me a smile.

"Ya well I think you should nurse it back to health." He walks me back until I am up against the cabin. I wrap my arms around his neck trying not to smile at his corny line, but it is so cute. "Really, is that what you think." He kisses me. "Yep."

He kisses me again. "You know if your upset, I have the perfect tool to work off some of that frustration." He kisses me again but this time doesn't stop. He deepens our kiss and I start to ache. He kisses down my neck and when he bites lightly, it sends a shock through my body.

There is no way we are doing this right here, right now. "Didn't you say we should wait a few days." He smiles against my neck, "Hmm mm." I laugh, "Well then I think you should stop before I don't care who comes out here." He brings his lips back to mine, "I don't think I would mind that." I sigh.

"Come on Eric, I don't want you to get in trouble." He finally pulls back and looks at me with that smirk. "Demanding." He kisses my forehead. "Alright princess, I will be good." He steps back. "It's dinner time, you should go. I got to run inside for a second." I nod and he smiles walking away.

"Oh, and Eric." He turns to look at me with a raised eyebrow. "Don't think I don't know what you were doing just now." I know he was hoping Jeff would come back around that corner and see us. The thing with having a lot of guy friends is you learn how they think. He gets a big grin on his face. "I am sure I have no idea what you are talking about." I roll my eyes. "Sure." He turns and keeps walking.

This man. I turn back toward the mess haul and head to dinner. I don't know how I am going to deal with these two. They are both so frustrating, on top of that I am going to have to figure out a way to spend some time with Eric. Something tells me this our little meetings are going to be few and far between. I am starting to regret stopping Eric.

* * *

 **Well it isn't like she could hide it forever. What will Jeff do now...Stay tuned. Until next time.**

 **(Music Credit: Crawling - Linkin Park)**


	25. Chapter 25

**As always I just want to thank everyone for reading this. My followers grow by the day and it is very much appreciated that you continue to follow my story. Here is another Eric chapter for you. It is definitely the longest chapters I have done from his POV. I really hope you like it. Enjoy!**

 **This chapter is rated MA. Proceed with caution.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 25:**

 _(Thursday July 16th)_

 **Eric POV**

 _11, 12, 13, 14..._ I try to concentrating on my pushup but I am failing miserably. I have already restarted counting twice. Every time I try to concentrate my mind flints back to her. These last few weeks have been such a fucking emotional rollercoaster. The day at the festival, she surpassed any expectation I ever had for her, or any woman for that matter. Jumping off that basket with her in my arms was beyond incredible, especially since she is the one who pushed off first. It completely shocked me.

I had been pushing her away that week mixed up about how I was going to balance work and us. Paulo was on to us too. I kind of felt like shit seeing her mop around and I knew it was because of me. I think that was one of the reasons I bought her that necklace. When she had looked at it, she had such longing in her eyes. It was expensive but when she ended up taking that jump with me, I knew that there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to make this girl happy.

 _Shit._ I did it again. I start again. _1, 2, 3, 4_... It was even more amazing when she let me work her over behind the mess haul. Of course it wasn't my original intention although I had been extremely turned on when I saw her strip and wearing barely nothing except _my_ sweater. But again she surprised me with her boldness and just the thought of her only in my sweater made me lose it, but not wanting to be a complete ass and take her for first time right then, I decided to test the water first. Jesus, she was so fucking responsive, so wet.

But then she had done a complete one-eighty and those days were just about the worse in my life. I sat for hours trying to figure out what the hell was going on in her mind just going crazy that I couldn't figure it out. I had been so frustrated when we walked into the gym and when I saw her, the anger inside me exploded. I need to know what the fuck was going on and the nice way didn't work. All it did was confuse me even more. So, I used the one thing I knew would push her over the edge, other than my charm, I used her anger. Of course it worked perfectly.

I have to admit when she smacked me it hurt like hell. Not physically or anything, I have been smacked on several occasions before. I am a pretty straight forward kind of guy and some woman don't like finding out they were merely a one night stand. No, when she smacked me it is like being punched in the gut, reaching something way down inside me. I still don't quite understand my feelings for her but the more time I spend with her. The more my need for her grows.

I was surprised how much I felt like shit when I was debating whether or not to let her go. She had a right to be pissed at what she saw. Granted I ended up pushing Lynn away, but she was right, I shouldn't have let it get that far. I just didn't want to ruin my relationship with Lynn, she is one of my close friends despite our little 'no strings attached' fuck buddy nights. Danielle really does deserve better than me. I am truly fucked up. I could never love her the way she deserves. When I sat on her chest and debated what I should do, I thought I had resolved to leave her alone. As much as I still wanted her, I had to let her go, and when I came back and found my sweater, I knew she had gave up on me and that I did the right thing.

That was until she almost fell over that cliff and I realized I did not want to spend another day without her, I don't care how selfish I am being. I want her to be mine and only mine which was my intentions when I text Paulo and asked him to bring her up. He had text me back with that 'you sure' bullshit but I had made up my mind to try at least once to get her back.

For a moment, when she said 'okay' I thought it was the happiest moment of my life. I wanted her so much, I needed her so much and when she let me take her there on the Lookout Tower it really was the happiest moments of my life. It was amazing seeing her lite by the moon, mostly naked and completely lost in pleasure that I so expertly providing. Then she let me enter her pushing my pleasure higher then I could have ever imagined. She was so tight around me, I had a difficult time not coming within seconds but I managed and when her orgasm hit, clamping around me even tighter, I couldn't hold on any long. I don't think I have ever come so hard in my life. Fucking amazing.

 _Shit._ I am hard now and my fucking arms hurt. I have no idea how many pushups I have done. I really need to find some time to be alone with her for more than a few minutes. I need to feel her around me again. I gave her a few days to recover but every day that goes by, my need, my want for her grows and I am just about insane. I have always been asshole Eric but now I am becoming crazy, asshole Eric.

Shaking my head I decide I need yet another cold shower for the ump-teen time this week. So I quickly get my stuff and get in. Most of the cadets are out in the court yard so hopefully I don't run into them. It does look a little odd when I am taking showers so early in the evening.

I finish and get dressed, Paulo should be coming in anytime to get me for our evening workout at the gym. I am putting my clothes away and see Zeke had come in while I was in the shower. Paulo comes walking in, "Hey man you ready?" I grab my Ipod and ear phones and give him a quick nod. He smiles as he sees my freshly showered appearance. I sigh and we head out the door.

"Another cold shower huh? You ain't getting it enough from your girl?" I give him a cold stare. "Dude I am just saying. You need my help getting her alone, just let me know. Lord knows you have helped me and Marlene out plenty of times." I shake my head. "Ya well it is easier when all I have to do is make sure her room mate doesn't show up and make sure your not needed. It is simple as asking Tori out for drinks which she is always up for beer and pool. I on the other hand have to worry about cameras, not having a private bedroom and people noticing that she is not around. And not to mention trying to keep her quiet where ever we do go." He laughs, "So she is a loud one huh?" _Fuck._ Yes she is. Several times I have had to cover her mouth or remind her to be quite. I am so looking forward to being able to work her over without keeping her quiet. I can't help but smile. "I am not having this conversation with you. You already know more than enough and I do not intend on taking another fucking cold shower."

I hear shouts from the gym. I look at Paulo and see that it isn't just me and we both take off running. I pull open the door and Joseph is on the top of Jeff hitting him over and over while Leeann looks on shouting for both of them to stop. Jeff isn't even fighting back though he is conscious. _What the Fuck?_ I grab Joseph by his arms and throw him hard back onto the floor in front of Paulo and I step in between them. "What the fuck is going on here?" I look at both of them getting to their feet. I look at Leeann and she looks at the ground. I am guessing this had to do with her even though I am surprised being I have never really seen Jeff show interest in anyone other than Danielle. Except for the last few days that he has been hanging out with these two more and more, which I have no problem with being he isn't hanging with Danielle as much, but I thought they were all friends. I look to Joseph irritated that I have still not gotten an answer. "I asked you a question cadet, what the hell is going on?"

"Why don't you ask that little sneaky bastard?" I raise my eyebrow at his tone. With my earlier sexual frustrations, my anger pops off fast and I get in his face. "You will watch how you talk to me cadet or I will lay your ass out right her and now, I don't fucking care the reason." I see fear cross his eyes and I feel a little better. I walk the few steps over to Jeff. "What is this cadet?" He looks at me with cold eyes and I know he is still pissed at me. "I don't know what you are talking about Eric sir. We are in the gym and we were merely sparing. It just got a little heated." He says sarcastically giving me a sly smile. "Just two guys who aren't afraid to deal with shit _Like Men!_ " I hear the double meaning in his words. Little fucking prick. He has no idea. I turn back toward Joseph, "That true cadet?" He is still pissed but nods his head.

Fucking headstrong kids. It is always the same thing, 'what happens on the streets, stays on the streets'. I know they ain't going to tell me but really I don't need them to. I have a pretty good idea what is going on and I have cameras.

"Fine, since you two seem to have so much extra energy, you can work it out by doing an extra 30 minute run before evening P.T for the next week." I see Joseph shake is head pissed as ever but Jeff just keeps his eyes on me. I notice Danielle and Patrick standing just inside the door and I have no idea how long they have been there. "Paulo, escort these two back to their dorms. You two are to be confined to your own dorm for the rest of the night and if I have to pull you too apart again you will be sorry." Paulo grabs each by an arm and hauls them toward the exit.

Danielle stops them looking at Jeff's face with concern. He took quite a few right to the face. "Jeff what the hell is going on with you?" She ask with worry. He laughs at her. "It isn't my business who you are fucking just like it isn't your business who I am fucking." He pushes past her dragging Paulo forward and out the door. Damn I just want to lay him out seeing him treat her like that. Her eyebrows pull together and she looks over to me. I can only shrug my shoulders and press my lips in a line. She shakes her head and walks out followed by Patrick and Leeann.

I pull out my phone and log into the security camera and rewind them to lunch to see what started this. This would be easier if I had my tablet but this will have to do. I see all three go to their afternoon classes which the have together today. They sit together in the first class with Tris and they go to knife throwing. Things seem normal until part way threw class I see Jeff step behind Leeann and help her with her stance. He runs his hand up her side slowly before positioning her arm in the right spot and then tells her to through it. She does and hits the target. Huh, not bad other than his intentions are clear as day. Then he whispers something in her ear and she gets red. With a sly smile on his face he goes back to stand next to her and Joseph who is on the other side of him gives him a dirty look.

They go to lunch and she is sitting between the two. Things seem fine and Joseph gets up going into the kitchen and the other two get up to leave. He must have had clean up duty. Jeff leads Leeann out the door and down into the gym. When they get inside, he grabs her around the waist and starts kissing her. She seems pretty eager herself so I can ruled out that this was forced. He sticks his hand down the front of her pants asking her if she wants 'a real man'. I have to laugh at that but then I am shocked when she says yes and he pulls her pants down, unbuckling his own and then turns her around quickly leaning her over the table and inserts himself in her.

 _Holy crap_. I was sure that Joseph was pissed because Jeff made a move on Leeann but I am completely shocked that he actually fucked her. Not to mention the way he just took her over the table like that. It reminds me of myself, it is not because I like the girl, it is because I need a release. I fast forward the video not wanting to sit here and watch this shit although I try to make sure she does not fight it at any time. After a few minutes, I press play as I see Joseph walk in and Leeann is moaning Jeff's name as he finishes off.

 _"Are you fucking kidding me you little fucking prick? She is mine."_

 _Jeff laughs bucking up his belt and Leeann quickly pulls up her pants, clearly embarrassed._

 _"Well I guess you should take better care of her so she doesn't have to come to me to be sated." Joseph is growing more and more pissed._

 _"How could you do this to me?" He ask Leeann but she has no response._

 _"Don't blame her, sometimes they just need a real man." and Jeff gets that smile and Joseph loses it._

I know that smile. It is the same smile, that cocky-I-got-it-and-you-didn't smile, the one I gave him the other day when he found Danielle and I. I had actually set it up on purpose. I know Jeff likes Danielle and I wanted to show him she is mine. I had noticed he had been going on the side of the cabin to sit and do school work trying to avoid her and everyone else. I could see it bother Danielle that he seemed distant since our little encounter and I wanted him to hurt the way he is hurting her by being so cold to her. Then yesterday the perfect opportunity arose when I saw him sitting there as I went to check on her. My plan formed quite quickly and worked out to perfection.

 _Flashback_

I wait for her to finish clean up and catch her as soon as she come out getting her to follow me around the back of the buildings, toward the cabins. She gives me a knowing smile and I am glad she wants me. It just turns me on even more. I take her to the second from last cabin where I know he will hear us and where this is no cameras. I can't help myself any longer. I pin her against the wall and kiss her letting her know I want her now.

"Fuck I have missed you." I whisper on lips. I feel her smile. "The feeling is mutual." I turn her face to the side as kiss her jaw down to her neck. I am already hard. I want her right her and right now but I don't have enough time. Not to mention that might push the little boy over the edge. I kick her feet apart and pin the side of her body against the wall with my own letting her feel my hard dick pressed up against her. She moans and I know she wants this. I kiss her deeply, she bits my bottom lip sending a shiver straight to my already hard dick making it swell more. "Ahh fuck babe." I say loud enough for him to hear although he had to of heard her moans. She leans her head back closing her eyes as I continue to kiss her neck and unbutton her pants. I look over just as he look around the corner confused.

Perfect timing. I slide my hand down her pants and as my fingers reach her clit I circle it getting a very satisfying moan out of her and as my eyes find his, his face turns to anger. I don't stop, I continue down her folds sliding first one finger in and then a second. Fuck she is so wet for me. "Eric," she moans as she pulls my hair hard and I want to take her right now. I need to get her off as fast as possible because I don't know how long I can control myself. I start moving my fingers faster, in and out, in and out, using my thumb to tease her clit. I see Jeff is still staring at us and I get a sly smile on my face, that smile, satisfied my message is getting across.

 _SHE. IS. MINE_. But I want him to hear it for himself, "Does that feel good princess?" I ask still smiling at Jeff. "Yes." She barely can talk and pride builds in me. "Do you want me?" Her breaths are getting staggered, "Yes." I pull her tighter rubbing my dick on her trying to get a little relief as it is getting uncomfortably swollen. "Only me?" His eye shoot her lips. "Yes." She is barely audible as she is so close and I can feel her begin to tighten. I don't know how it is possible but he looks even more pissed and I am satisfied he got the message. "Then come for me now!" I say with a growl because I want so much to have my dick in her right now and with that I feel her orgasm hit hard around my fingers and I tighten my grip around her, putting my head to hers trying to control myself. I continue moving my fingers in and out, in and out, in and out, as she rides out her orgasm griping my neck tightly and moaning my name.

I lick my lips with a proud grin on my face as I look up at Jeff and feel her begin to relax, completely exhaust. If looks could kill I would be dead 100 times over. For a second I think he is going to say something but he just turns and walks away.

 _End Flashback._

 _Fuck._ I am hard again thinking about her. I adjust myself in my pants before anyone walks in. I really need to do something about that. I have a plan for Sunday but I don't know if I can wait that long.

I can't believe Jeff totally gave Joseph the same look I gave him and I start to wonder if he did it on purpose so Joseph would kick his ass. I didn't see Jeff fight back but the cut he left on my lip the other day proves he packs a bit of a punch and I know if he isn't scared of me, he wouldn't be scared of Joseph. I wonder if I pushed the little piss ant too far.

Paulo walks in shaking his head. "Dani wants you to meet her out back." I really wish she wouldn't do that, that is the second time this week she asked him to do that. It's not like I haven't seen her at all. In fact we had several makeout sessions back there in addition to my little show for her friend. I really don't mind meeting up with her but I don't like anyone knowing we are back there. But I am sure she is upset with what just happened as is worried about the little shit. "Hello?" I look up at Paulo as I get pulled out of my thoughts of her. "Huh?" He shakes his head, "Did you figure out what the fight was about." I smile at him as I am sure he will get a kick out of this. "Ohh ya, this kid is fucking nuts." I rewind the camera to right before they walk into the gym and hand him my phone. "I am going to check on her, that little shit is one of her close friends." He nods his head as he presses play and I head out the door.

She is waiting for me in a spot that the cameras don't reach and I smile that she has been memorizing the blind spots in the cameras. "Hey you ok?" I ask her trying to sound a little concerned. She gives me that 'what do you think look'. "Ok, stupid question."

"Do you know what the hell that was all about." I bite my lip. I don't know how well this is going to go over. I look her in the eyes hoping I can distract her. "Yes." I say in a low voice as I put my hands on her waist pulling her shirt up slightly so I can touch her skin to skin. She closes her eyes for a second. I take the opportunity to kiss her. "Stop trying to distract me and talk." She says against my lips. I pull back a little looking into her eyes. So demanding!

"I really don't think you want to know." I already know she isn't going to give up until I tell her. "My best friend just got his ass kicked when I know he could do damage of his own and yet the other guy doesn't have a scratch, now what hell happened." I roll my eyes, she asked for it. "Well it looks like your little friend just fucked another man's girl and the other man happen to walk in on them." She looks at me like I have two heads. "Jeff wouldn't do that, he probably just wanted you to think that." I have to laugh at her. "Sorry to burst your bubble princess but your little friend has quite the little bad boy in him." She rolls her eyes at me and it is so fucking cute. Even when she is being difficult I am drawn to her. "Hey, I pulled the camera footage Joseph caught Jeff and Leeann." She looks at me shocked.

She looks down shaking her head. "What the fuck is wrong with him?" How does she not see this shit? Even without me pushing him yesterday, he is clearly pissed that I am with her and not him. He has been pissy about it ever since he found out. It was him that stopped me the other day by the cabins. Getting in my face telling me to leave her alone. He had a lot of balls standing up to me like that. Telling me that she is not strong enough to have some prick like me break her heart. Obviously he was mistaken, I don't want to break her heart, and she is stronger than he thinks. I told him that much and she proved when he came around the corner putting her foot. I couldn't keep the pride off my face and I made sure to rub it in his face before I walked away. But seriously, she is completely blind to his feelings for her.

I pull her chin to bring her eyes back to my own. I hate when she is upset like this. "Hey, he is a big boy and he can make his own decisions, just as you have requested of him." I can tell she is still struggling but sees reason. "I just don't like see him like this. He has been there for me so much." Urrggg.

She cares for him, much more that I prefer, but she is right. He was there for her when she needed him. I am glad she had someone to help her through such dark times. Only wish it could have been me. Shit, why can't shit just be simple.

I kiss her softly and then wrap my arms around her pulling her to my chest. I really wish I could just sit and hold her in my arms. I really hope the next few months go by quick because I am already tired of trying to hide our relationship. "I think I am going to go check on him." She says quietly not moving from my chest. "Ok. You going to be alright?" I really don't want her to go. She smiles up at me, "As long as I have you, I will be just fine." I can't help but smile back at her. She is so sweet. I feel that weird pulling in my chest again but I quickly push it back. "Well, in case I don't see you later. Sleep well." I give her one last kiss and she turns and leaves.

Damn I feel so fucking emotional watching her walk away. I swear I will not be happy until I can spend every hour of every day with her. _Control Eric._ I need to get my shit under control. I take a few deep breaths and go back to the gym to face Paulo.

When I get in he is at the punching bag so I grab a pair of gloves and go join him picking up my head phones. "How's your woman?" He says quietly. I shrug. "Frustrating as ever." He laughs. "Well don't expect that to change man, that's women. I have to hand it to her little friend. That boy has some balls on him." I roll my eyes at him. I need to figure out that shit but for now I just need to get everything out my head. I scroll through my play list and select Skillet's 'Monster' and turn it up loud and start punching away.

* * *

I am a little depressed I didn't get to kiss her again before lights out. Today was a fucking crazy day. When I got back to the dorms, I pulled the camera's to see if she was able to talk to Jeff. She really did try but he had just told her 'Its no longer your concern'. He is really starting to piss me off. It isn't her fault that he has absolutely no sense. He should have told her he had feeling for her a long time ago. I mean secretly I am glad that he didn't but this is his fault not hers and it isn't fair for him to just be a dick to her. She moped around the rest of the night until lights out and she got into bed turning toward the camera, giving me a sweet smile before saying 'good night' to everyone, including me. I turn off my side light, I might as well get to sleep, then at least I can dream about her. I shut my eyes and fall fast asleep.

I wake up to Danielle's blood curtailing scream. Me and Paulo jump up and sprint through the door and come to a abrupt stop. _Oh, fuck, what did I do._

* * *

 **Sorry to leave you with a cliff hanger. I already have most of the next chapter so you only have to wait until tomorrow. As always let me know what you think. Too dramatic?**

 **(Music Credit: Monster - Skillet)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Wow, I got a lot of reviews over that cliff hanger. You guys are great and I love reading them. It really puts a smile on my face in the morning. Hope this chapter does not disappoint. Enjoy!**

 **To my guest reviewer; this is a four month camp (16 weeks) so they will be there through September. I am still wondering if I will do a sequel once camp is over. Let me know what you guys think.**

 **This chapter is rated MA. Proceed with caution. **

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 26:**

 _(Friday July 17th)_

 _It's too fucking early._ I look at the clock and it is two in the morning but I need to pee bad. I get up and head for the door. This floor is too damn cold, this is why I like to wear socks to bed. I mentally kick myself for not putting some on before I went to sleep. I push open the door and stop.

 _No this isn't happening,_

 _This can't be happening,_

Tears instantly begin flowing from my eyes as I see Jeff slumped against the wall with blood pooled at both wrist and a razor on the floor

"NOOO!" I scream and then clamp my hands around my mouth utterly shocked at the scene before me.

"No, no, no this isn't happening, this isn't happening." Everything slows down into slow motion. I rush over to him pulling him against me. "Wake up Jeff, please wake up." I see Eric. His eyes find mine and there is soo much pain in his face. "Eric do something please, please don't let him die, please, please, please." I yell. I can't lose him, _God please no_. Eric is trying to pull me away but I can't, I can't let him go. "God Dammit Paulo grab her." Strong arms pull me a few feet away and stay so tight around me I can't move. I close my eyes, and all I see is blood. I open my eyes as Eric ties towels around Jeff's wrist. Blood, there is so much blood! "Four we need a fucking ambulance now." Eric shouts at him as he feels for a pulse. Four sprints out of the room as Max rushes in. "Fuck. Eric?" Eric looks up at him grim. _Don't say dead, please don't say dead!_

"His pulse is weak." _What does that mean?_ I try to scream but nothing comes out. Max looks around at all the cadets standing around. "Get these guys out of here now!" He shouts. Zeke starts shouting for everyone to go back to the dorm and I feel Paulo start to walk back with me in his arms. "NO! NO!" They can't take me away, _NO_ , I struggle with all my might. _Let me fucking go._ My voices still eludes me. I through my feet up as hard as I can and swing them back down with everything I have and Paulo goes over the top of me. I run to Jeff grabbing a hold of him again, I can't leave him, he can't leave me. "Jeff please I need you, this isn't fair." I hold on to his chest and cry. "Marlene its about fucking time. Eric get her the fuck out of here." Max shouts as he tries to pull me away.

Eric grabs me hard and pulls me away. I kick and scream but he is too strong, "Let me fucking go." I scream as he drags me through the his dorm and out the door to the side of the dorm. "I don't want to leave him. He needs me, take me back!" I cry, trying so hard to get away. "Ow fuck, God dammit Danielle stop fucking struggling." Eric shouts.

He is behind me and I can almost get out of his grip. "I can't leave him, let me go." I elbow him in the chest, and I hear his sharp intake of breath, but he grabs both my arms and cross them over my chest pinning them there with his own. He backs up against the wall and he slides down taking me with him and wrapping his legs around my own successfully stopping me from moving, but I will not give up. He is my best friend. I can't lose him. I need him. I try again to get out of his grasp. "Baby stop please, stop. He'll be ok, just stop. Baby please!" He pleads with me and the sadness in his voice hits me hard. I stop struggling. "Baby, please I need you to be strong. Jeff needs you to be strong. Please." His voice is calming. I start to relax a little and the tears fall harder. "Why?" I ask through my tears. He releases my legs and crosses them under him as he pulls me sideways to cradle me in his arms. Holding me tight against him as my tears fall onto his bare chest. I can hear the sirens of the ambulance and I sob even harder.

I can't believe he did this. Why would he do this? He was always there for me, why wouldn't he let me be there for him. He finally has came back into my life and now I might lose him again. I hadn't realized until now how much I missed him being there to help me, to comfort me. He always made me feel strong, reminding me that I could make it through anything. I hear the commotion of the EMTs as they leave the dorm, shouting out commands to each other. God please let him be ok. _Please don't take him from me._ The love of my best friend, only rivaled by my brother, and I feel like I am about to lose part of me. Nausea hits me hard and I jump up out of Eric's arms going to the tree line where I fall to my knees and expel what little food I had in my stomach.

Eric is behind me in a second and I feel his hand go around my waist for support and he pulls my hair back with the other. I hear someone walk up behind us. "Is she alright? Is she hurt?" I hear Max's sullen voice as I continue to dry heave having nothing left in my stomach. "She seems to be ok but that was one of her closest friends and finding him like that must have been traumatizing. I think it may be a good idea for Marlene to give her a valium." Eric is in instructor mode but I hear the worry laced in his voice. Max is quiet for a moment and then sighs. "When she is done, take her to the infirmary and Marlene will have it waiting. Let her sleep it off there but I would like you to stay with her. I don't want a repeat and after what she just did to Paulo; I think Marlene would be no match for her. I hear him walk away and my body starts to relax as I have no energy left. "You done?" He ask quietly and I hear the worry in his voice. I nod my head.

He pulls me up so I can stand and I turn trying to bury my face in his chest. I just want to crawl under a rock and die. He wraps his arms around me. "This is my fault." I cry. "How the hell is this your fault?" He ask shaking his head. "I should have been a better friend. He has been distant and I haven't been there for him. After all the times he was there for me and I let him do this to himself." I cry harder at the thought.

He pulls me back and looks in my eyes. "Hey this is in no way your fault, so fucking quit that shit now. You have been a good friend to him, he just has his own shit he has been dealing with and he tried to take the easy way out. Do not blame that shit on yourself. He is grown and there is no reason he couldn't talk the shit out." I look down and he pulls me back against him. I don't want to say it but I have to know. "Is he going to die?" My voice is barely audible. He is quiet and for a second I don't think he is going to answer me, then he tightens his grip on me. "I don't know." His voice quiet and full of hurt and all I can do is cry.

My legs are getting weak and I begin to slump in his arms as I continue to cry. Eric leans down and picks me up under my knees and kisses me on my head. "Come on babe. Lets get you inside where it's warm." I realize I am in my shorts and a t-shirt with no sock or shoes, but I don't care, I can't feel anything on the outside. On the inside I feel like my stomach is being twisted into a thousand knots. He walks us across the court yard and into the infirmary where Marlene is sitting at her desk. "Take her in the room." He takes me in the room and sits down on the edge with me still on his lap releasing my legs. "Here, I gave her two. She needs to take them with water, and I have shot of Phenergan, Max says she was vomiting." I hear them talking but all I can think about is Jeff, seeing him there in a pool of blood and my tears come faster again. "Danielle, please hold still while she gives you this shot ok?" I can't answer. I feel the pinch but I don't care. "Give her a few minutes for it to kick in so she is able to keep the pills down. Need anything else?"

"She needs some clean cloths, and some wet wipes." His voice is flat and I know he is trying to hide his feelings from Marlene. "Sure let me go next door." Eric doesn't move, just holds me in his arms and I am grateful.

"I got her a clean shirt, some sweats, and socks. Do you want to step out so I can help her?" I grab him harder, I don't want him to let me go. Eric tenses and hesitates answering her. "Its ok, you can do it if you want, and you can sleep in here with her. It is probably better for her anyway." Eric stiffens again. "You don't have to pretend, Paulo told me. I will keep your secret. The camera is not on and I will keep people out." Then she leaves the room shutting the door.

I just want to sleep but I can't stop crying and every time I close my eyes I see the blood. Eric grabs the pills and water that was on the side table. "Here take these, it will help." Feeling numb I swallow them quickly. Eric turns and sets me on the edge of the bed. He pulls off my shirt and puts on the clean one on, not stopping to stare at me in my sports bra. There is no lust in his eyes, just sadness. He kneels down using the wipes to clean the dirt off my knees and feet. He puts on my socks and then he slides the sweats on pulling on my arms to stand me up, so he can slide them up over my shorts. I move by his guided actions but it I am numb just staring at the floor as the tears fall. He looks up into my eyes. "It is killing me to see you like this babe. What can I do?" He lays his head on my stomach and wraps his arms around me. I need him, that is it, I just need him. "Just don't let me go." I whisper. He looks up at me with such understanding and longing. He stands and hugs me tightly. "I am not going anywhere. I am yours." My heart swells momentarily and as much as I have been fighting it, I know I love him. It is completely illogical and way to fast, but it is the truth. My head is starting to get a little fuzzy and I feel unbalanced.

Eric tenses a bit and looks down at me. "Come on, time for you to lay down." I lay down scooting back toward the wall so he can lay next to me. He pulls me to lay on his bare chest and I gladly comply. I feel his kiss on my head as we wrap our arms around each other and I tears start to stream again. Not just because of my fear for my friend but also of the fear that one day I might lose Eric too.

My body relaxes as my head gets more cloudy, but I try to fight sleep afraid of what I may see. Eric runs his hands through my hair and I hear the rhythmatic beats of his heart. It is so calming. "Be brave" he whispers to me as he kisses my head again and I reluctantly let the darkness take me.

* * *

When I wake, I am half laying on Eric over his chest. I glance up at him surprised that we are in the same bed together, my head is still a little fuzzy. Then I remember why I am here and the sadness hits me hard. _Jeff!_ I feel the tears threatening to spill again I need to be strong, to be brave. I am suddenly aware of how warm Eric is below me. His breathes making his chest rise and fall at a stead pace.

My hand glides over his stomach and the ache begins between my legs as my need for him hits me. I look at my watch and it is already 06:00. Eric never sleeps in and I very much intend on taking advantage of being in the same bed as him. I remember last night finally admitting to myself that I love him and while I can't tell him just yet, I can definitely show him. Show him my love, show him my thanks for comforting me last night, and show him my need to forget the outside world right now.

I let my hand slide into his flannel pajama pants and I start to message him. It doesn't take long for him to harden under my grip as I move my hand up and down his impressive length. I hear him moan lightly as he pushes his hips up. I shoot up and crush my lips to his as I continue to message him. I want him in me. He seems shocked for a second but then kisses me back just as desperate and he his hand slide under my shirt. I moan into his mouth at his touch. It feels so good. I kneel up beside him without breaking our kiss and pull down my pants and underwear using my legs and feet to get them the rest of the say down and take them off. He pauses in surprise.

"Are you sure?" He mumbles on my lips. "Eric I need you. I need you now." After debating it for just a second I feel him, take something out of his pocket and lift his hips, pulling down his pants to his thighs. My ache gets worse knowing I am only moments away and I get impatient. I pull his pants down he rest of the way as he kicks them off and then crawling back up to straddle him. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow and I bit my lip. He smiles handing me a condom. I looked at him confused, I have never done this before. "Just pinch the top of the condom and roll it down me." I open the package and do as he says taking my time to do it right. His eyes close and he tilts his head back as I do it. "God that feels amazing." he tells me and I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. I finish and scoot forward positioning him and my entrance. "Slow babe. I don't want this to be over to soon."

I slowly start to lower myself but the feeling is overwhelming and I drop quickly down letting him fill me with pleasure. His fingers dig into my hips almost painfully. "Fuck Danielle!" It is such a turn on hearing him talk to me like that. I try to move but he doesn't let me. "Wait, just a second." His breathing is erratic. As it starts to slow a bit, I am aching to move and he begins to move my hips, forward and back as he lifts me up and down. He feels so deep in me and I quietly moan his name. He continues to move me as the pull inside me builds. He his so big filling every part of me and he lets go of my hip as I continue moving the same way he was guiding me. My breathing begins to stagger as I lose myself in pleasure. He sits up pulling my shirt off and then my bra. I am completely naked above him as he begins kissing and caressing my body. I moan as his mouth finds my breast and he sucks on my nipple pushing me even closer to the inevitable. "Quiet babe." He reminds me and I grab his hair pulling hard trying to stifle my moan as he lets out his sexy growl that resonates in his chest. He grabs my hips again and begins to move me faster. I am so close but I don't want this to end. It feels so incredible, I never want it to end. His hand grip my hips hard again and he moves me even faster. I can't hold on much longer. "Come for me baby!" and that is it, my orgasm tears through me and Eric wraps one of his arms around me tightly as he continues to move my hips, his lips crushing to mine to hide our moans as his orgasm follow mine.

As we both stop our movements, he pulls me forward to lay on his chest as he lays back, he is still inside me. That was beyond incredible. He runs his fingers up and down my back. The simple action makes my heart swell as a single tear escapes my eyes and falls to his chest. He must feel it. "Hey, it's ok. He is going to be ok. Marlene came in a little while ago, he is stable and they were able to stop the bleeding. They had to give him some blood but he is going to be ok. I am sorry I didn't wake you to tell you but you had been through so much, I just wanted you to rest." I tighten my grip on him hearing the thoughtfulness and compassion in his voice and I know my heart is his, but it is too soon to tell him, the feelings are so strong it scares me. "Its not that but thank you for telling me." He must sense my hesitation and he rolls onto his slide placing me on my back so he can look into my eyes. "What is it?" He runs his fingers down my jaw. "You can tell me anything, you know that right." His eyes so soft and he looks so young. The Eric no one but me gets to see. "The feelings I have for you scare me." I tell him honestly. Several things cross his eyes quickly and he gently kisses me and rest his forehead on mine. "Me too. Me too." I am surprise, that is not what I expected to hear, but it warms my heart.

He lays back and removes the condom and pulls me to lay on his chest again. It is amazing feeling his nakedness against my own as he runs his fingers through my hair. I just want to stay in this bubble forever.

Someone bangs on the door. No such luck, Marlene talks through the door when she turns the handle and it doesn't open. "Eric, you have about 10 seconds before Max gets in here. "Shit" Eric says mirroring my thoughts _._ Eric jumps out of bed quickly pulling his pants back on and grabbing a cleanly folded shirt I didn't see on the table next to the bed. I pickup my shirt that is laying next to the bed putting it on without my bra but I don't see my pants. "Just pull up the blanket and lay down and pretend to be asleep. I see him kick my pants under the bed and he unlocks the door and sits in the chair as I do as he says turning to face the wall so Max doesn't see my flushed face. Eric has time to take about two deep breaths before Max opens the door quietly.

"Morning Eric."

"Max." How can he calm down like that. "How is she?"

"She was pretty traumatized. Marlene had to give her a double dose."

"I have been reading the boys counseling file. Seems these two grew up together and other than the last few years they were very tight due to some childhood trauma she suffered. Lynn hasn't been able to get what it was out of either of them. By the looks of her last night they must be really close. That took a whole lot of adrenaline for her to put Paulo on his ass like that. How about you, did she get you at all?"

"Ya, my ribs and chins are a bit sore but noting bad."

"She is definitely a fighter. I am excusing her from this mornings activities. When she wakes make sure she gets some food. I need you to make sure she is ok before we let her go back to a normal routine."

"Sure. What about Jeff? Any word?"

"Ya, I just spoke with the the hospital physiologist that was on call. They say his is ok and that they don't think he is a further threat to himself. They are releasing him to our custody this evening with orders to watch him close for the next few days. Tori and I will be leaving around 6pm to go get him up in Ellensberg. We will keep him on bed rest in here for a few days before we easy him back into the group. I am having Lynn come up tomorrow for a few days to have a few extra sessions with him and anyone else that my need it. I need you to set up shifts to keep 24-hour surveillance on him until I am sure he won't do it again. Uriah and Will can help out too." He stops for a second. "He is really lucky she found him when she did. Any longer and he probably wouldn't have made it. And I want to thank you too Eric. Your quick actions getting the wounds covered and getting the ambulance right a way played a big part too." Eric doesn't say anything.

"I really hope we can help these two." Max says and I am not sure if it was to anyone particular. "Me too Max. Me too."

"Alright, make sure you get some rest too. It won't hurt the others to take on classes by themselves today. P.T is just getting over and I have some calls to make, Let me know if there are any more concerns."

"Will do." Max leaves quietly closing the door and I turn over.

Eric smiles sweetly at me and then gathers my clothes from under the bed and I quickly dress under the covers. Eric chuckles but I am not as confident when its not in the heat of the moment. I sit up and he sits down beside me giving me a big hug. "I told you he would be alright. You need to lay down and get some rest."

I look up at him, "Will you stay with me. I am afraid to sleep." He kisses the top of my head, "Of course."

There is another knock at the door and both Paulo and Marlene come in. Paulo smiles at Eric holding me and I try to pull back but his grip tightens not letting me move out of his arms. "Here dude, thought you might like some shoes. How you doing sweetie?" His smile turns to me. "Better thank you."

"I need to check her vitals and check her head, Eric if you don't mind unwrapping yourself from her for a few minutes."

"My head?" I had a bit of a headache but after crying all night I wasn't surprised. "Yes you head, apparently you are a strong little one and head butted Paulo over hear." I look at him and notice a small bruise on his cheek. I don't remember that happening and I am instantly embarrassed. I look down at my hands and start fiddling with them. Paulo laughs, "Don't worry, it takes a lot more than that to hurt me." I look up at him with a small smile.

"Alright, alright." Eric stands up beside me. Hey Paulo can you stay here with her for a minutes."

"I am just fine by myself." I say hurt that he thinks I need someone to look after me. He grins widely and kisses me on the cheek. "Don't take it like that. Max wants one of us guys with you while your here. Apparently he thinks you are dangerous because of your impressive display kicking this guys ass last night." He nods to Paulo and Paulo punches him in the arm. "Shut up dick. Ya I will stay with her. Hurry up, I am ready for breakfast." Eric smile down at me, running his fingers along my jaw. "I will be back in a few." I nod and he leaves.

Paulo looks at Marlene. "Man he's got it bad. I don't think I have ever seen him this way." She shakes her head in agreement as she starts taking my vitals. I am intrigued by their thoughts. Marlene start pushing around on my head and she hits a tender spot. "OW".

"Sorry, Have you been experiencing any dizziness, or nausea since last night?" She shines a light in my eyes.

"Not since last night." She clicks it off and writes on my chart. "Alright, let me know if you have any new symptoms alright. I will get you some Ibuprofen as I am sure you have a nasty headache." I smile at her gratefully. "I will be just outside if you need me."

She goes out and sits at her desk as Paulo sits in the chair across from me. I scoot back and cross my legs. "Sorry about last night." I tell him. "I really didn't mean to hurt you." He laughs. "Don't worry about it. I don't blame you. Sometimes we can't control our actions." He looks down at his hands and then out the door like he is nervous. "You know I am serious what I said about Eric. I have known him for years and I have never seen him take interest in anyone. Girls have always thrown themselves at him but he just pushed them off like they were nothing, but it is different with you. He really has fallen head over heels for you." I smile at the thought. "I know he is difficult sometimes, but just try to be patient with him."

I laugh at him. "K, dad. Will do." I say with a grin.

Eric walks back in with a backpack, clean clothes on and a tray of food. "Thanks man." Paulo stands up. "No problem. I will leave you to it." He goes out and shutting the door behind him.

Eric hands me a tooth bush and tooth paste. I gratefully go over to the sink and brush my teeth, my mouth taste awful. I see him watching me in the mirror and I can't figure out his expression. When I sit back on the bed he gives me some toast and a small bowl of oatmeal. I take it and he picks up his own as we eat in a comfortable silence. I am kind of hungry after getting sick last night and the food hits the spot.

I am finishing up my oatmeal when Marlene comes in with my pills and Eric gives me some apple juice. Once I have taken them Eric sits across the top of the bed and I lay on his lap. "Get some sleep." He begins running his fingers through my hair causing my body to relax. I am still so exhausted so I gladly comply to his request closing my eyes and falling fast asleep.

* * *

I just lay here staring at the ceiling thinking of the past few hours. Eric promised me I would get to see him tonight so I just lay here waiting.

I ended up sleeping until just after two. I couldn't believe I had slept for so long. I was still laying on Eric's lap and I was shocked he had sat there for so long. He had his tablet out and was working on it. He told me I could go back to the dorm and that he had excused me from classes for the day and P.T. was optional. I had really wanted to get up and stretch and so I put on my shoes that he had grabbed and he walked me back.

I had really wanted a shower and clean clothes but I was nervous to go into the bathroom. I tried to push the feelings away and gathered my stuff. I could see Eric noticed my nervousness as he walked with me in there. I stopped a few feet inside looking down at where I had seen Jeff, the blood was gone but the image is permanently etched in my mind. The tightening in my chest had started until I felt Eric's hands on my shoulders and he whispered in my ear, "He's ok. Be strong babe you can get past this. I believe in you." He was right and after a few deep breaths, I calmed down and proceeded in the shower. When I looked up I saw Eric suck on the bottom of his lip and I knew he wanted to join me. _Stupid cameras_. I gave him a smile and closed the curtain.

I decided on participating in P.T. although I took it easy. None of the instructors seemed to mind and the exercise really helped, but now all I have to do is wait.

I look at my watch growing impatient. It is just after eight and I know Jeff is back. Eric walks in and I sit up quickly, "Danielle, come with me?" he says with no emotion. I am off my bed in a second and at his side. He turns and I follow him out the door.

"I convinced Max to let you see him but he is still sedated so this is going to be quick. You can visit again tomorrow when he is awake. I will make sure Marlene knows it is ok." I want to hug him so bad. "Thank you Eric. For everything, I don't think I could have made it through this without you." He glances sideways and I see the happiness in his eyes. "Anything for you." He says with a smile. "I really wish I could kiss you right now." I smile because I feel the same way. "Ditto."

When we walk in, Marlene and Zeke are in there. Zeke is sitting on the couch in the corner doing something on his tablet. "Go ahead and go in. He is sedated so he won't be waking up tonight." Marlene tells me. I look through the door and I can see the bed. "It's ok, you can do this." Eric whispers behind me.

I take a deep breath and go in. He looks so young and carefree sleeping in the bed. My eyes wander down to his wrist where I see the bandages hiding the cuts. I feel tears swell in my eyes but I keep them from spilling over. I swallow down the lump in my throat and go sit next to him. How could things be so bad for him that he would resort to this? After everything I have been through and he is the one that tries to end his life. He is the one that always preached to me that this wasn't the way out. How there people in this world that would miss me and how I couldn't do that to them, that it would be selfish. Then he did it and tried to leave me and Patrick and I have no idea why. But I will. I will find out. I take another deep breath and try to calm my heart that has begun to beat fast. I shake my head resolved to be a better friend and stand up. "I'll be back tomorrow." I know he doesn't here me but I felt I needed to say it out loud. I lean down and give him a kiss on the cheek and leave the room.

Eric is leaning against the wall looking at the ceiling deep in thought. He gives me a small smile. "I can come back tomorrow?" I ask Eric but Marlene answers, "Yes. The sedatives should wear off by morning and I will not be giving him more." I nod my head at her. I smile at Eric and walk out the door as he follows. We stop a few steps outside and he looks at me. "You ok?" His eyes guarded. "I'll be ok, I feel a little better now that I have seen him."

"OK, well I have a meeting with Max, you ok to walk back." I give him a small laugh. "I am fine Eric, I am sure I can walk back by myself, but I don't know. I may trip over a stick and who will be there to catch me?" His smile grows at my sarcastic words and he lets out a chuckle. "That's my girl. I will see you in the morning, Sleep well."

I give him one last smile and I turn to walk back to the dorm. I really do feel better. Seeing him sleeping there was like a weight lifting off my shoulders. Almost like I didn't believe he was ok until I could see if for myself. When I get back in I am bombarded with questions. "He is ok, he is sleeping right now but he should be awake tomorrow." I quickly get out to stop the questions.

"Can we go see him tomorrow?" Tara ask. "Um, you would need to ask. I am not sure if they are allowing everyone in but I don't see why not. Now if you guys don't mind I really just want to sleep." Patrick comes up and gives me a hug. "He's strong, he'll bounce back." He is so sweet. Although Jeff and I have always been closer, I care for him a great deal as well. "Oh and I brought you your homework, it's on your desk." I laugh "Geez, thanks, you know some flowers would have sufficed." He lets out that mousy little grin. "Sorry, fresh out of flowers." I smile and lay down grabbing my IPod. I am not really tired but I don't want to talk anymore. I turn up the music and try to clear my mind of everything.

* * *

 **Well there it is. Hope the wait was worth it. Let me know what you think. As always, your comments and reviews are always welcome. Much more to come. Until next time :)**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey Everyone, sorry I didn't update yesterday I have been sick and have gotten behind. Thank you guys again for all the reviews, they are awesome and I will have to think about that sequel. I have a few ideas. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 27:**

 _(Saturday July 18th)_

P.T. this morning is dragging. I just want to go see Jeff. The minute Eric tells us we are dismissed, I head for the infirmary.

Marlene smiles at me as I walk in. "Hey Dani." I see Paulo sitting on the couch but the door is shut to the room. "Is he awake?" I ask Marlene. "Yes he is. You can go in and visit until breakfast. Please keep in mind he needs to stay calm and stay in bed." I nod to let her know I understand and I quietly open the door.

He is sitting up against the headboard reading a book. "Hey," I say softly trying testing out the waters. He looks at me but doesn't smile. "Hi." Ok, so he isn't too happy. Obviously or he wouldn't be here. I go sit next to him on the bed as his face stays guarded. I look down at my hands. I had so many things I wanted to say to him, so many questions to ask, but now that I am here, I don't care. I am just glad he is still here. My emotions over take me and I lay my head on his chest and wrap my arms around him.

He freezes and for a second I think I have made a mistake, but then he relaxes and hugs me back putting his chin on my head. "Don't you ever fucking do that to me again." I feel him huff under me and I just know he is shaking his head at me. "Yes ma'am." He says with a laugh.

"I am serious Jeff. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I need you" He doesn't answer and I sit back up. I see sadness in his face. "I don't think that is true anymore Dani. You have found someone that makes you happy and it isn't me. You don't need me anymore." He looks down playing with his blanket and I start to get angry and hurt at the same time. "How could you say that Jeff. After everything we have been through, everything you have helped me through. How could you possibly think I didn't need you anymore." He doesn't answer me and my anger continues to grow. "Jeff, who did I seek out all those nights at camp?"

"Me," he says quietly. "And who did I sneak out to see when my nightmares were too much." He looks at me for just a moment. "Me."

"You have always protected me Jeff. From my thoughts, from my dreams, from other people, even from myself. Do you think I will ever forget everything you have done for me." He breaths in deeply. "I guess not." I grab his hand being careful not to touch his wrist. "Then how in the hell can you think I don't need you anymore." He pulls his hand out of mine and I am a little hurt.

"Your boyfriend seems pretty content on helping you with all your future needs."

"Seriously Jeff. He is my boyfriend, what him and I have will never be what you and I have. You are honestly my bestest friend and the things you have helped me through can never be replaced. I can go off, fall in love, maybe get married one day, but there is always going to be a special place in my heart that will always be yours. I love you and I don't ever want to lose you." He is staring at me shocked and I can't help the tear that escapes my eye just at the thought that he could've died.

He snaps out of his shock after a second and his face turn apologetic, "Fuck, don't cry please. Come here." He pulls me back against his chest. "I am sorry. I swear I will never do that again. Ok." I let him hold me for a minute before I sit back up a little calmer.

"So do I get to know what the hell you were thinking? You know you are a fucking hypocrite right." He looks at me crazy, "How the hell am I a hypocrite?"

"You don't remember?" He looks at me and shrugs his shoulders while shaking his head. "Hello, the night at the docks when you kissed me." He gets a half smile on his face. "Oh, I remember the kiss."

"Geez, fucking guys. Do you remember why I snuck out to the docks in the first place?" His face falls and he looks down. "Oh ya."

"Exactly, I told you I didn't want to live anymore and you told me that it was the cowards way out and that I was not a coward." He still doesn't look at me. "How do you know I am not a coward?" His voice is so quiet. "Your fucking kidding me right, it took all the balls in the world to kiss me after that. Your lucky I didn't kick your ass." That got a smile out of him.

"If I remember correctly, you did kiss me back." He peaks up at me with a sly smile. "Hey enough of that. You know it ain't like that between us. I love you but I am not in love with you." He breaks our eye contact and takes in a deep breath. "Yep, I know that. Just promise me that you won't forget me now that you have your new toy." I smack his arm as the my face heats up with embarrassment. "He is not a toy, and of course I won't forget you. Couples fight you know. I will always need my best friend to comfort me. Promise you will always be there for me?" He gives me a sad smile that I don't quite understand and after a deep breath he pulls me back into a hug. "Promise."

Marlene comes in. "Hey time for you pain meds. Dani they have started breakfast." I get up and smile at him. "I will come visit later K." He gives me a genuine smile and I am relieved that he seems mostly back to normal. "Marlene, are the others allowed to visit?"

"Sure, as long as you guys are on free time." I squeeze Jeff's and and leave for breakfast more refreshed.

When I get in the mess haul, everyone is already there and I take a sit next to Eric. I noticed that Patrick didn't move down and sit where Jeff normally sits. I know this has been hard on him too but he doesn't like to show his hurt. I smile at him, "Hey Pat, Marlene says you guys can go visit on your free time." I say it loud enough that everyone hears being others had asked too. Patrick smiles at me. "Thanks, I'll go see him later."

* * *

As we are on our afternoon hike, I am walking beside Eric but being careful to not be too close, even though, I really want to. We walk in a comfortable silence most of the time, just taking in the beautiful scenery. When we start nearing the came again Eric breaks the silence talking very low so only I can hear him. "I saw the video from your visit with Jeff this morning." I look at him with a raised eyebrow and he gives me an apologetic look and shrugs his shoulders. I kinda had a feeling he would knowing he has to review most of the video that is taken to be sure we are not up to anything.

I was waiting to see his reaction, not sure how he felt about me hugging and telling Jeff I loved him. I just hoped that he listened to all of it and understands he is just my best friend that I deeply care for. The love I have for Jeff is nothing like the love I have for Eric. "You love him?" His voice is guarded. "As a very close friend yes, but that is it, ok." I glance at him trying to show him I am completely serious. He nods his head slightly obviously still deep in thought.

We get back to camp walking into the court yard. "Have a good class." He says as we part ways, but he seems bothered still so I try to reassure him with my smile. I really hope he understands. I want to tell him I love him to assure him that my heart is his, but I am afraid to tell him so soon.

I go to my technology class and sit next to Huck and he gives me a tight smile. Everyone is still being careful around me and it is starting to irritate me. I know I made a scene but it is getting frustrating. I am fine now, my best friend is ok. Everybody need to go back to fucking normal already before I go crazy.

I am still worried about Eric. He seemed to be bothered a lot about what he saw and I am worried he is going to let it come between us. It's nothing really, I hope we can move past this and quickly. I loved being wrapped in our bubble. I really hope we can find time to be together again. Yesterday was incredible and I could see how our life could be together once I am out of here.

We get out of class and I decide to go see Jeff again before dinner. He has got to be bored as hell sitting in that room all day. Maybe if I can convince them he is ok they will let him out sooner. The thought of being able to hang out with him makes me feel better. Just talking with him this morning, he seemed to be feeling better. I think he just needed to be reminded that there are people around him that really care about him. Although I still want to know what the hell drove him to do that shit.

I walk in the building and Marlene is sitting at her desk but none of the guys is on the couch. She must see the confusion on my face, "Eric's in room with Jeff." I wonder why, he doesn't particularly like Jeff, especially because he thinks he likes me. "Everything ok?" I ask a little guarded. "Oh ya, they have just been talking for a while. Hey I have run and give this report to Max. Can you tell Eric I will be back in a few?" I nod my head and she gathers up her paperwork. "You can go on in, I really doubt they are talking about anything heart felt." She laughs a little as she walks out.

I debate whether or not I want to go in, but I really only have a limited amount of time before dinner. I lean against the wall next to the closed door to see if they are talking.

"Fuck, I knew it was bad but didn't realize it was that bad for her." I hear Eric say. Please tell me they are not talking about me. I am yet again ease dropping which is becoming a bad habit. "If I see that fucker again, I will probably go to prison for murder. I thought about doing it a couple of times during that summer, but she made me promise I wouldn't do anything. She was scared out of her mind. He threatened to kill her several times. Beat her up pretty bad a few time too, but he never left marks that her clothes didn't cover and only left permanent marks once. He found her in my room one night crying and curled up on my lap. He dragged her out by her hair and locked me in my room. By the time someone let me out the next morning I found her curled up in the corner of her room. Two of the belt marks broke skin and bled pretty bad. I cleaned them up but they ended up scaring." I was having a hard time breathing and It hurts just sitting here listening to this but I am frozen in place. Why the hell is he telling Eric all this. "In the shape of a 'x', just to the right of her spine." Eric says sounding so sad. I don't want him to hear this shit.

"You've seen it?" Jeff sounds a little shocked. "Um, no, I have felt it. I ran my fingers over it several times wondering where she got it." Oh my god I did not want him to know about that. "Oh," is all Jeff can say back. "Hey man, sorry, I don't mean to throw that in you face."

"Well it's not the first time." What the hell does he mean. "Ya, about that. That is why I originally wanted to talk to you, we just kind of got side tracked. You know she makes it really hard for me to focus these day. Anyway, I am sorry about that day you caught us behind the cabins. I let my male ego get out of control, I knew you were there, but I had no idea it was going to upset you so much." _He did what?_ When the fuck did this happen. "It's alright, I am the one that was being nosy, I just love her so fucking much, it really hurt to see that."

"Was that it? Is it was made you do this." I stop breathing. "I don't know, maybe a little but not really. It's just, I have loved her for so long, and I figured that one day she would realize it and that we would be together. Even though she had pulled away from me because selling drugs, I still watched over her all the time. But being here I slowly started to see that it wasn't ever going to happen. I mean what you guys have, I have never seen her like that, not even with me. She's happy with you, not guarded, never afraid, bolder, stronger. She has been on an emotional rollercoaster and for someone who rarely lets her emotions get to her, other than her anger, I know you must mean a whole lot to her. That is why I decided to let her go. I want her to be happy, that is all I ever wanted for her. She deserves that after all she has been though, but I can't pretend it doesn't affect me or hurt me. After all these years it was just too much for me and when I saw you doing that to her, it just kinda pushed me over the cliff I was already hanging over. I tried to take the easy way out of the pain and I figured it would be easier for her if I wasn't around."

I can't control the tears are falling down my face as I figure out what they are talking about. The day behind the cabins, when Eric was so insistent on me telling him, I was his. Jeff was watching and Eric knew it. He made me say that on purpose to prove his point to Jeff. He did it knowing Jeff loved me. I didn't even see it. I never knew he felt so strongly. _This is all my fault._ Mine and Eric's, we pushed Jeff to this. How could I do this to him? I slide the wall with my head in my hands. _I am so fucking stupid_. How couldn't have I known he loved me like that?

The door opens suddenly and Eric is there pulling me up off the ground. "Babe what's wrong? Are you ok? How long have you been here?" Jeff is at my other side in an instant. I don't know how to process this, I am so mad at both of them. I look at Eric through my tears. Before I realize it, I slap him hard. "How dare you! You did that and made me say those things just to hurt him. To fulfill you own fucked up need to make sure he never made a move on me, even though, you obviously saw he would never do it. You are one fucked up son of a bitched." He stands there frozen from shock and I turn to Jeff. "And you, you selfish asshole should have just grew some damn balls and told me how you fucking felt about me instead of just waiting around for me to figure it out and then be mad when I fall in love with someone else."

I go to turn around and and Jeff grabs my arm and I yank it away quickly. "Stop, if you know what is good for you then you will leave me alone," I look at Eric, "Both of you." I turn and walk away. "Don't dude. Give her some time, trust me." I hear Jeff say as I walk out the door, not looking back.

I want to be alone and I am really fucking pissed that there is no where I can go that he can't find me. I go back to the fire pit and sit on the ground behind the logs on the ground so they mostly hide me from the camp. Here we go again, shit in my life can never be happy, fucked up shit has always got to make it complicated. I am so tired of this. Jeff was right, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster since I met Eric and I really don't like this. How could he be so fucking cruel to Jeff. I don't care how much Jeff likes me, there was no reason to put him through that.

And Jeff, all these years that he pretended that his love for me was merely as a close friend. He said he loved me, he actually loves me. I pushed him to try to end his life. How do I ever feel better about that? How do I ever apologize for putting him through so much pain and hurt? All I know is I need to calm down and think about this with a clear head because right now I just want to stand up and walk right out of this camp, not caring what happens.

* * *

I grab out my Ipod and turn up my Linkin Park to clear my head.

I have to get up to go to P.T. I skipped dinner which I am sure Eric is probably mad at me for but he wisely left me here to cool off. I really am not in the mood to be around people but I am trying not to get into trouble this week. So I just go. Four and Zeke are the only ones there. I still don't know what to say to Eric, or if I will be able to for that matter. The one thing I know I need to do is to apologize to Jeff. I have put him through so much and I really feel bad about it. He doesn't deserve this even though him keeping his true feelings from me was kind of a dick move.

I push though our work out harder than I probably should, but I need to work off the irritation in me. By the time we are done, I feel a little better and I am ready to face Jeff. I walk in and Paulo is sitting on the couch with Marlene. "Hey sweetie," He says as I walk in and I have a feeling he knows what happened earlier. The door to Jeff's room is open and I just nod at Paulo and walk in to the room closing the door behind me and leaning on it.

I just look straight forward but I can feel Jeff is looking at me. "Hey, you feel better now?" He ask me. I shrug my shoulders. "A little, more confused than ever." I look down. "I am so sorry I hurt you Jeff." I try to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill. It is really irritating that I am struggling to hold it in. I have cried more in the last few weeks then I have in 5 years. "Hey stop that shit. It ain't your fault I am a dumbass. Come here." He pats on the bed next to him.

I hesitate for a second and then go to sit on the bed looking down at my lap. He grabs my chin forcing me to look at him. "You are right, I should have told you and it isn't fair for you to blame yourself over this. You finally found someone that you can be happy with. I have seen you with him and I know you really love him."

"Jeff, I don't know if I love him." He laughs a little. "Well I am pretty sure you already told me that you do." I look at him confused, "I didn't say that." He shakes his head. "You told me that I couldn't get mad that you fell in love. It's true, I can't get mad and it is true that you love him. I see it, just like I can see that he loves you. Although like you, he is stubborn and doesn't want to admit it." My heart jumps at that thought but I don't know if it is true as much as I wish it was. "Yes, I am hurt but I really want you to be happy, and if I have to settle for being your friend than that is what I am going to do because I don't want to lose you completely." I am so overwhelmed by his words, I lean over and hold him. I feel him sigh. "I love you Dani and as long as your happy, I am happy." I just shake my head not being able to talk.

"I wanted to tell you sorry too." I pull back from him my eyebrows pulling together. "For what?" Now he looks down. "Eric told me you were the one that found me. He said you completely lost it. I had to beg him but he let me see the camera footage. I am so sorry, I never thought in a million years you would have taken it that hard." He looks at me and he has tears in his eyes. "I'm so fucking sorry, all the things you have been through, you should have never had to see that. I should have never done that to you. I was so fucking stupid, I swear I will never do that again just please, forgive me." I pull him into a hug again, heartbroken at the hurt in his voice and just stay there holding him tight. "Stop, it's done, it's finished. Lets just move forward." I tell him and he kisses me on the top of my head.

I pull back and smile at him. "Now that I have cried for the fiftieth time, I really need a shower." He laughs and holds his nose. "Ya you do." I smack his arm. "Shut up ass. No I really do just need a hot relaxing shower."

His face gets serious. "You should really go talk to him. He was pretty upset when you left. He punched that solid oak desk out there pretty fucking hard. I am pretty sure he did some damage to his hand." I look toward the door shaking my head. He really shouldn't do shit like that. "I don't know if I can. What he did to you Jeff was pretty messed up and he pull me along on his little fucked up scheme."

"Oh no you don't, he did that shit to me, and we have worked it out. Dani he loves you, you love him. You are not going to use me as a reason _not_ to be happy. You deserve to be happy, I want you to be happy, and if that means I have to put up with him than that is what I am going to do, but you have to forgive him. Here, he wanted me to give this to you." He hands me a folded piece of paper. "Now go and talk to your new boy toy, K. Then go take a damn shower." I smile at him even though I still don't know what to do about Eric. I give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "See you later."

I go outside and take a deep breath. I unfold the small piece of paper and read it.

 _'I have a hard time telling you how I feel,_

 _but hopefully this song will,_

 _since music seems to be the way to your heart._

 _Cold by Crossfade._

 _Forever yours, E.'_

I swallow hard. I pull out my IPod not sure I have the song, I have not heard of it. I find it, I never put this on here. I put my earbuds in, sit on the step and turn it on.

 _Looking back at me I see that, I never really got it right_  
 _I never stopped to think of you, I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win_  
 _You are the antidote that gets me by, something strong like a drug that gets me high_

 _What I really meant to say, is I'm sorry for the way I am_  
 _I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so_

 _Cold to you, I'm sorry about all the lies, maybe in a different light,_  
 _You can see me stand on my own again, cause now I can see_  
 _You are the antidote that got me by, something strong like a drug that got me high_

 _What I really meant to say, is I'm sorry for the way I am_  
 _I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold_

 _I never meant to be, so cold_

 _I never really wanted you to see, the screwed-up side of me_  
 _That I keep locked inside of me so deep, it always seems to get to me_  
 _I never really wanted you to go, so many things you should have known_  
 _I guess for me there's just no hope; I never meant to be so cold_

 _What I really meant to say, is I'm sorry for the way I am (Is I'm sorry for the way)_  
 _I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold_

I listen to it twice. I wanted so much to be mad at him but the feeling is quickly fading. I am not perfect, how the hell can I expect him to be. Ya what he did was fucked up but Jeff is right, Eric apologized and Jeff forgave him. He knows he fucked up. I think about what Jeff said, _does he really love me_. I know I have fallen in love with him but that is different. I have never been with anyone else and he is an incredible man, but me, I am just a broken little girl. In the back of my head I am pretty convinced that this will never be serious for him. He told me himself, he doesn't know how to love. There is no way someone like me could hold down a man like him.

But I do know he cares for me, even if it only a little and if I can have him for even a little while, then it is worth it. I do love him and maybe my love for him can hold us together. I need to see him. I am pretty sure he is in the gym. That is his go-to place, but the cameras.

I get up and go back inside. "Paulo, are you able to disconnect the camera in the gym for a few minutes." He looks at me like I am crazy. "I need to talk to him and I would rather he doesn't get in trouble assuming that is where he is." He looks a little nervous. "Um, that records my name and I will be questioned to why." He gives me and apologetic smile. "I'll do it. Will owes me a favor. I can only do it for 15 minutes before it alerts Max." I give her a grateful smile. "Thanks."

"Its worth it. He really cares about you, you know that right." I just nod my head and go to the gym.

I take a deep breath and go inside. Of course he is at the punching bag and he is shirtless, completely drenched in sweat. He must have been here the whole time. I am happy to see at least he put gloves on, but he is concentrating so hard he doesn't see that I have come in. I start to walk toward him and I notice he is not hitting very hard with his left hand. That must have been the one he hit the desk with. He really shouldn't do that shit. As I walk up behind him he slows his jabs almost to a stop. He must sense me.

I can hardly breath and I lose all words that were in my mind. I reach up and place my hands on his back and he flinches making my stomach drop. _Shit._ I go to drop my hands, "Please put them back." His voices is so sad and rough. I do as he ask unable to deny his request. "I didn't know if I would ever get to feel your hands on me again." He is breathless and I can feel his heart pounding a hundred miles and hour. "Danielle, I..."

My heart breaks hearing his sorrow. "Eric stop, please." He turns around slowly and looks at me. His eyes show me the only apology I need. "I know, your sorry, I'm sorry. Please, can we just put this behind us?" I want this wall between us to gone. He looks at me for a second then closes his eyes and shakes his no. My stomach fall again thinking this is not going to be over this quickly. Then he falls to his knees, sitting back on his heel, pulling me down with him so I am straddling his legs. He puts his head on my chest and wraps his arms tightly around me. "I don't deserve you." He whispers and I want to cry understanding that he shook his head in disbelieve instead of denying my request. I take a deep breath, holding him to me, laying my head on top of his.

When he finally looks up at me, he kisses me so soft and tenderly as if I am going to break. I deepen our kiss allowing our tongues to dance around each other and losing my self feeling of him against me again. We finally break apart to catch our breaths.

"Hey as much as I would love to stay right here with you all night, there are cameras in here." I say breathlessly. "I don't care anymore. Besides it is too late, they just saw us anyway." I pull back a little frowning at him. "You don't' mean that and no they didn't. Marlene gave us a 15 minute window. I don't want you to lose your job, I know you love it. I don't want to be the cause of that." He just smiles at me. "If it means I get to keep you it would be worth it." He kisses me again so softly. Damn he can be so fucking sweet sometimes. "And for the record, I wouldn't necessarily lose my job, at least I don't think so." I smirk at him and peck him on the lips before I stand up taking a step back. But he isn't have none of that. He stands and grabs my waist pulling me back to him.

"How did I get so lucky?" He bits the inside of his cheek. I have to laugh. "I was saying the same thing about you." He rolls his eyes.

"Our time is about up and I really need a shower." He pulls me in by my shoulders one more time to give me a kiss. When he pulls back i see the lust appear in his eyes. "What I wouldn't give to be able to join you." I smile about to respond when the door opens and and Lynn walks in. Eric drops his hands quickly.

He looks back at me, "Just keep in mind what I just said. " Hey looks at me giving me a wink that she can't see. I try not to smile like fool. "Oh I intend to," and I turn and walk out the gym satisfied by the shock that crossed his eyes so quick I almost didn't notice it. I was careful not to look at Lynn because I was afraid she would look past the facade I had put on.

I go back and take a shower before crawling back into bed. Today has been exhausting.

* * *

 **So what did you think? Too mushy? Let me know what you guys think and if anyone else wants to see a sequel. Thanks guys for supporting me. Until next time :)**

 **(Music Credit: Cold - Crossfade)**


	28. Chapter 28

**Wow. Thank you guys so much for all the reviews. You guys are great and I can't say how much I love seeing what you guys think. Here is today's chapter and I hope you like it. Enjoy!**

 **This chapter is rated MA. Proceed with caution.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 28:**

 _(Sunday July 19th)_

 _I feel the smack across my back and I bit down hard on the pillow. I know if I scream he will keep going. It hurts so much more this time. 'You fucking little slut, what were you doing in his bed'. He says it quietly so no one can hear, but he is mad and I can smell the alcohol. Another smack, and I don't know how much more I can take. I didn't break his rules, I don't know why he is doing this. I thought I was ok going to see Jeff, he never comes back once he has left for the night. Oh God please let him stop. I feel something warm running down my back. I reach back and touch my back and he hits my hand away. 'I said fucking stay still you little hoe'. He hits me again. I see the blood on my hand, and I am afraid he is going to kill me. 'Now take your pants off and turn over. I hurry before he hits me again. 'Spread you legs, I want to see what you were going to give him.' He smacks my thigh with his belt when I don't go quick enough. I do what he says and close my eyes tight, I don't want to see him touching with himself and I pray he doesn't make me this time. I sing in my head blocking out his voice and trying to forget the pain that I am feeling. 'Wake up', I feel him shaking me, 'Wake up', I can't do this anymore. I swing out punching him._

"Ow, fuck." _Eric?_ I open my eyes and I feel my face soaked in tears. I see Eric in a blur standing above me holding his mouth. _Shit._ I sit up quickly still trying to catch my breath. "Oh Eric, I am so sorry." I must have been dreaming. "I'm fine. Are you ok? You were sobbing. I thought you were awake at first." I try to wipe my face. "I'll be fine. It was just a dream. It was just a dream." I wrap my arms around my legs trying to forget get my dream out of my head. I really wish Jeff was here. I just stare down rocking myself back and forth. "What can I do?" He says so softly I barely hear him, but I the sorrow in his voice is clear. He wishes he could comfort me. He looks around at the other beds. Everyone is sound asleep. "Fuck it. I will fix the video." He sits down at the top of my bed. "Come on, lay down, I will stay until you fall asleep."

"Eric? I don't..." He cuts me off. "Just lay down, let me do this for you." I give in mostly because I really want this. I lay my pillow in his lap, then lay my head down. He begins to stoke my hair and it is so calming. I begin to relax after a few minutes and the feeling on my skin starts to dissipate. I pull his hand down to mouth and kiss his palm. He runs his finger down my jaw and I smile. "Night princess." He whispers softly and I close my eyes focusing on the feeling of his fingers in my hair.

* * *

Patrick and I are on our way to P.T. I feel a little lighter this morning despite my lack of sleep. As usual Max is on stage ready to reveal our rankings. I am fairly certain I am not in the bottom this week. In fact I worked really hard this week to make sure I would stay out of it. Our rankings appear and I am ecstatic that I actually ranked 2nd this week. Even with all the shit going on, I still managed to do well. Max walks past me "Nice display of self defense the other night." He says quietly. I have to laugh because it was more like I wanted to kick his ass, but it is true, I learned to do that in class. I see Eric smirk at me quickly before he starts our workout and a smile splays across my face and stays there for our whole work out.

When we finish, Steven and I are called up to the stage while everyone else is dismissed. Eric hands the list to Steven first who picks the a 30 min Skype chat. Steven says he would like to Skype his girlfriend and gives her name to Eric so he can get her approved. Then he hands the list to me.

1\. No morning P.T. for one day

2\. Pass on 1 instructional class

3\. Pass on 2 homework assignments

4\. No mess hall duty for 3 days

5\. Sports Balls (Basketball/Football/Soccer)

6\. PSP*

7\. Kindle Reader*

8\. IPod (1 gig)*

9\. Lunch at The Cottage cafe

10\. 30 min Skype chat (may not use until day 30+)

*Cadet may only choose 1 electronic item during the 4 month cam

What do I want. I read down the list. "If I do the lunch how does that work." I am really hoping maybe Eric could take me, it would be nice to spend time with him outside of camp again. "Well, two instructors will escort you out of camp to lunch." He winks at me and I know that he will be one. "I would like to pick that one." He writes it down. "Alright I will let Max know. Steven, once Max approves this, Will will set you up in the office whenever you are ready and I will get your Lunch approved and work out your escorts. I also wanted to let you know they are letting Jeff out this morning. He has shown a significant change in attitude. He should be in the dorms here shortly. You guys are dismissed." I want to laugh at how professional he acts sometimes. It is probably good because it keeps people from being suspicious.

I am so excited. Not only do I get to leave camp, but Eric gets to take me out to lunch and to top it off, Jeff is getting out of the infirmary. I start to wonder if Eric gets to choose the other person. Of course, I really hope Paulo is the one because Eric and I can be more open with him. I walk back to the dorm to get some work done before my afternoon.

* * *

I head out to the parking lot excited to get out of here for a while. Jeff came into the dorm a bit ago and I was so happy to see him even though it had only been a few hours. He looked a lot better and it raised my spirits even more.

When I get out front Eric is leaning against a Ford Expedition with dark tinted windows twirling the keys on his finger. His tight shirt is showing off his muscular upper body and flat stomach and he has this half smile on his face as he stares at the ground. Damn he is so hot. He looks up and smiles at me. "You ready." I return his smile. "Yep, who else is going?"

"I am." Paulo startles me from behind. "Thanks for requesting my presence." He laughs at me and I look at Eric confused. "Oh ya, I passed on your request that Paulo goes with us to make up for kicking his ass the other night." He laughs. "Hey if it gets me lunch out at the cottage she can do it anytime. I can't wait to get me some country fried steak." He chuckles. "Come on lets get out of here." Eric says with a nod toward the SUV. I know the real reason was so that we didn't have hide.

The guys jump into the front seats and I get in the back. As we pull out, of the camp, my excitement grows. Eric turns on his Ipod through the bluetooth and Evans Blue comes through the speakers. "Come on man. Can we listen to something else?" Paulo whines. Eric laughs, "Nope, I am driving, we play my music. Beside, majority rules." He looks at me in his review and I can't help but smile that he is listening to the music I downloaded.

We pull up to the little restaurant just as people are getting out of a car next to us. Paulo jumps out quickly greeting one of the guys "What's up man, it's been a while." I get out and Eric comes to stand beside me as Paulo and his friends come over to our side. "Sup Eric, who is this fine little thing you got here?" The guy says to him as he looks me up and down like I am a piece of meat. I feel Eric tense beside me. Thankfully Paulo steps in, he must have noticed Eric as well, "Oh this is Dani, and be careful of this one, she will put you on ass. Trust me." He turns and winks at me and I see Eric holding back a smile. "Dani, this outspoken one here is Sean, and this is Eddie and Clara."

I give them a smile and laugh a little at Paulo , "Nice to meet you." Sean is still eyeing me. "I am starved, lets get some lunch." Eric says as he puts his hand on my back and turns me toward the door before he lets go and walks behind me. We go in and sit down at a booth against the back wall. Eric and Paulo sit on opposite sides so of course I sit next to Eric. Their friends sit next to us in the other booth. The waitress comes over immediately taking our drink orders and giving us menus.

The guys start in talking to their friends and I look at the menu. They have a philly cheese steak, but it is a little expensive. "Um, do we have a price limit or something?" I ask Eric quietly. "No, I have Max's credit card, get whatever you want. He is footing the bill on this date." He whispers and smiles at me. I raise my eyebrow, "So we are on a date huh?"

"It's the best I could do for now." He laughs.

The waitress comes over and we order our food. Paulo and Eric both get the country fried steak and Paulo tells me it is the best. "You know this is an extra hour in the gym tonight right?" Eric says to Paulo. "It will be well worth it." Everyone goes back to talking about the gossip in town. I feel a little left out because I have no idea what they are talking about but I can't stop smiling because this feels so normal.

Sean comes back from the restroom and instead of sitting back down at his table he sits next to Paulo. "So Dani what is your deal, what are you in for?" They must be use to seeing these guys bring cadets here. "Assault." I shrug my shoulders like it isn't nothing. "A fighter huh. So do you have a guy out there waiting for you to get back?"

"No." He is right here next to me, but I am not sure he wants me telling anyone. I look up at him and he seems to be debating something. "Really?" Sean says way to eager. "That's right because she has someone right here." Eric says as he puts his arm across the back of the booth behind me. He must be giving the guy one cold stare because he suddenly looks scared. I smile looking down, jealous Eric is so cute. Sean gets up and goes to join his own table as the waitress brings our food.

My philly is delicious. When my sandwich is almost done, it Eric steals some of my fries. "Hey, step off my fries." He laughs and bites the inside of his lip and I know his thoughts have turn. "Here try a bite of mine, it is the best." I give him a shy smile as he feeds me a bite of his lunch. There is something so fucking sexy in what he just did. I raise my eyebrows at him. "That is delicious. Would you like to try mine?"

"Oh, I would love to." He says as he grabs my hand, bringing it to his mouth. He puts my thumb into his mouth and sucks on it, before he bites the pad sending chills right down between my legs. I close my eyes and try not to moan. I suddenly remember that there are people around us and I quickly glance around as my face turns a little red. Paulo is looking down at his plate trying to hold in a smile and Sean is staring at Eric. When I look back at Eric he has sly smile on his face. "Behave." Is all I can say through the grin on my face.

He leans down to whisper in my ear. "What if I don't want to?" His low rough voice waking up the ache between my legs. "Well there isn't anything we can do about it here because we sure aren't doing anything in front of a bunch of people." I say quietly.

"That is what you think." I look at him a little worried. There is no way I am doing anything in front of people. He laughs a little. "Follow me." _Seriously._ He has been driving me nuts the whole time we have sat here. He is sitting so close to me, yet he has barely touched me and it is making me antsy to touch him. "Be right back. I am going to show her where the restrooms are." He tells Paulo and nudges me to get up. I do and I follow him. The restaurant's dining area is in an L shape and we walk around the corner and to the other end and down a hall to where there are two unisex bathrooms. I pause for a moment and he looks back at me. "A bathroom really?" I tried to hold back my smile. He looks down the hall. He obviously isn't into PDA. Guess I better get use to that.

He grabs me by my hips pulling me to him surprising me as he crushes his lips to mine. "Baby," I try to reason with him, we are in a damn hall way. "I need you now, and I am not a patient man." Man he drives me crazy. He breaks our kiss and pulls me into one of the bathrooms, closing and locking it behind us. "And if that means I need to fuck you in the bathroom, then that is what I am going to do." His lips find mine again as he pins me against the wall and I can tell he needs me now. It just makes me want him more, like right now, but this is not exactly the ideal place. "That is unless you tell me to stop." He rubs himself against me and I can feel he is hard, needing a release. The last thing I want to do is stop. An idea hits me.

I flip us so that he is against the wall and I hit the light switch. I don't think I could do this if he is watching me. He finds my face with his hands and kisses me lightly before pulling back. "What are you doing?" I pulls his face down to kiss him again. "Just taking care of my prince." I move my hand down to message the growing bulge in his pants. "Seems he is very uncomfortable." He moans leaning his head back and I move both my hands to find his buckle and I am able to get it undone quickly. I feel his hands on my arms. "You know you don't have to do this." I smile at his concern, but I have thought about this before and I want to. I push his pants down a little, freeing him from his confinement. I grab him hard and I am rewarded with another moan. "I wouldn't do it unless I wanted to."

I slide down and bite his stomach on my way down and I hear his breath hitch. I push my nerves away as they start to show themselves. I message his hardness for a second before I lick the tip. "Ahhhh" He moans and I feel his body tense. I swirl my tongue around the very top of him several times and then take him all at once into my mouth. "Holy Fuck!" Exactly the reaction I wanted. i begin moving him in and out of my mouth. He is so big I cannot put it all in, I wrap my hand around his base and message around it as I pull him in and out of my mouth as deep as I can take him. He moves his hands so the are holding the back of my head and I pick up speed. He gets even harder and I know he enjoying this. I begin to ache between my legs hearing his moans of pleasure and I suck on him even harder. He breaths begin to shorten. "Babe if you don't want me to come in you mouth stop now." His voice is so rough and ragged I am about to come without him even touching me. I suck harder not wanting to stop. "Fuck Danielle." He cries out as his hands ball up in my hair and I taste him as he comes hard. After a second of thought, I swallow and keep going allowing his orgasm to work through him.

When I finally release him, he pulls me up to him and gives me a quick chastising kiss and hugs me tightly as he tries to catch his breath. "Have you ever done that before?" He ask a little hesitantly, still out of breath.

"No, of course not." He switches on the light. "Then where the hell did you learn to do that." I want to laugh at him. "Eric, I watch movies, I read books. You can learn a lot." I smile at him. "So it was to your liking?" I question him although by the way he looks right now, I already know. He grabs my face with both hands looking me in my eyes. "That was fucking amazing." He kisses me tenderly. "You are fucking amazing." He kisses me again and my heart explodes with happiness at his words.

He steps me back a little as he does up his pants again and I go over to the mirror and my hair is all messed up. I use my fingers to straighten out my hair and he walks up behind me. He smiles at me through the mirror and bends down to kiss me on my neck. "You are so beautiful." I look up at him unable to remove the grin on my face. "Come on, Paulo will start to wonder what is keeping us." I straighten my clothes and we walk out.

We round the corner I see Paulo laughing with their friends and Eric stops me as we get to the bar counter. "You want a latte or something?" That sounds so good. "Yes, I would love one." He leans against the counter between two stools looking toward the waitress and she comes down. "Hey Eric what's up?" She smiles at him a little to sweetly for my liking. "Hey Kate can I get my normal?" She flips her hair back taking out her pad and pen from her apron. "Sure, Paulo too?" He nods his head. Geez, I wonder if he knows all the girls in town. He is beyond attractive, I am sure they all fall over him. He looks down to me. "What about you?" It takes me a moment to recover from my thoughts. "Um, I will have a iced venti non-fat caramel sauce latte." Eric raises his eyebrow at me. "Hey they have Starbucks in Chicago too you know." His lip turns up a little. "That it, she ask." He nods. He looks back toward Paulo and then to me again. "Stay here and wait for our drinks. I will get knuckle head." He runs his thumb nail down the side of my thigh and winks at me before walking back toward Paulo, I see him leaning in talking to him and I sit down on the bar stool. Paulo nods his head and they turn to start talking to their friends and I wonder what that is all about.

A guy sits down next to me and shouts down to the waitress. "Kate, can I get my normal." She nods at him. Wow, does she know everyone's order? "Hey, you new around here?" I realize he is talking to me as he turns toward me with a smile. "Not really. I am just visiting for a few months." He looks me up and down. "Let me guess. Dauntless?" He let out a chuckle. "Is it that obvious."

"Pretty little thing like you in all black. Yep, just a bit." I smile not knowing what else to say. I glance over at Eric and he is still talking to Eddie but I see he is watching me out of the corner of his eye. "Any plans on sticking around afterward." I shrug my shoulders. I still have to talk to Eric about that. "You know this place can be pretty fun if you know the right people." I look over at him and I see that look in his eye. Man, do these guys not have enough girls around here or what. "I could take you out and show you a good time if you like." He licks his bottom lip but before I can decline his offer I feel Eric behind me and I sit up straighter.

"You ok?" He ask and I hear him trying to hold back is anger. I turn the stool around so I am facing him. "Yep I am good." He looks at the guy with an evil look before looking back at me, "Good," He puts his and to my cheek and bends down giving my a very hot passionate kiss. Then leans down to my ear. "I love tasting myself on your lips." My face instantly gets red thinking of what I just did in the bathroom and I am completely floored at his boldness. He pulls back to give me his sly smile and drops his hands to my thighs. I am pray I was the only one to hear that.

Kate interrupts our moment, "One non-fat caramel latte and two caramel mochas. Ready for the check?" Her voice now sounding a bit bitter. I take it she saw that kiss. Eric nods his head at her and then turns to the guy. "Hey Eric, who is your little friend here." The guy tries to ask smoothly but fails. I really wish people would stop calling me 'little'. "Sorry Kevin, didn't mean to be rude. This is my girlfriend Dani." My heart quickens as I hear him call me his girlfriend and I get a shy grin on my face. "Ready babe?" I nod at him grabbing mine and Paulo's coffee and Eric grabs his. "Good to see you man." He says with pride in his voice, obviously happy that he has staked his claim on me, jealousy is going to be a problem with him.

Paulo comes up behind us and I hand him his coffee and I notice he has a bag of togo plates. Eric laces his fingers through my now freed hand pulling me from the stool toward the register. Eric pays, then puts his arm around my waist and we go out to the car. I guess Eric doesn't have any problems with public displays of affection. "Well that's new..." I hear Paulo mumble behind us. I wonder what he is talking about. Eric releases me giving me a smile and a wink. I am saddened by our loss of contact and even more sad that he didn't kiss me again and he won't be able to do it once we are back at camp.

We get in the SUV and head back. I am surprised when we get close to camp that Eric turns off on a dirt road that is not the way we came. "Where are we going?" I ask curiously. "I want to show you something. We drive for a few minutes and then we stop. He looks at me in the review. "Come on." I wonder what he is up to now. We get out and he takes my hand. I notice Paulo is still in the car. "Isn't Paulo coming?" He shakes his head. "No, he wants to finish the pie he ordered, and he has seen it before." We walk in silence for a few minutes and then we get to wooden steps that we go down until we emerge in a round cove with a waterfall cascading over the side. We walk to the end where there is a round platform. I lean against the rail and look out; it is so beautiful. The waterfall has to be 50 feet tall and runs down into a pool of water that drains into the river. The mist seems to float and the sun shinning in the cove is creating a beautiful rainbow that dances all around. "Wow this place is incredible."

"We come here sometimes and jump off the top. It is actually on the camp's property. The water is pretty deep and it is really refreshing on a hot day." He seems to be willing to talk so I figure I will take advantage. "So you seem to know a lot of people around here." He shrugs his shoulders. "I have been working here for few years, and sometimes we go drink at the local bar at night."

"You guys can do that?" He laughs. "Yes, after lights out we can go out for a bit as long as two instructors are at camp. Usually Four and Zeke will go or Paulo and Me. Before we were legal, we would meet up with the local kids and go to the bonfires they have out in the woods. The town is pretty small, it doesn't take much to get to know everyone." I look down at the water. "Guess you have met quite a few girls too. Kate seemed overly warm toward you." He pulls my chin up and I see his raised eyebrow. "Are you jealous?"

"No. I am not really the jealous type, but it is kind of hard to not notice all the girls who throw themselves at you. I am curious how many of their fantasies about you are actually true." He sighs. "Danielle I am not going to lie to you. Yes, I have been with a lot of them." I try to look down but he places both hands on my face so I can't move it. "Hey, it's not like that. They were just a means to and end. What I have you with, I have never had with anyone. None of them mean anything to me. I swear, you are the only one I want." I see the truth in his eyes and I smile at me and he kisses me.

He pulls back and looks out toward the water. "Did you mean what you said to Jeff yesterday?" He seems worried. "What part?" I said a lot of stuff yesterday. His voice gets really quiet. "Are you in love me?" _Shit_. Do I tell him? I look down and bite my lip. I don't want to scare him away. My heart starts to race and I am afraid to answer him. I turns toward me again and pulls my face inches from his. "Please tell me the truth." I look at him getting lost in his eyes and swallow the lump in my throat. "Yes," He closes his eyes and breaths in deeply. This is it, he isn't going to want to be with me. I got too attached to quick.

Suddenly his lips are on mine so desperate and full of want. I kiss him back sliding my hands round his neck trying to pull him closer because I want him too. He kisses down my neck, "Please Danielle, I need you now." He begs me and I know I cannot say no because I am desperate to relieve the ache between my legs that is getting painful. "Ok."

"Do you trust me?" He whispers in my ear. I just nod my head unable to talk right now, as his lips continue nipping at my neck. He unbuttons my pants and I kick off my boots knowing what he is doing. He slides down me pulling my pants and underwear down together. I step out of them. He grabs my hips and stops with his nose at the top of my thighs and breaths in deeply before licking my clit once sending shockwaves through my body. "Hmm, I wish I had time for desert. Next time, I promise." He smiles up at me and I am at a loss at how he can keep shocking me with his actions. He kisses me there one more time before standing up and pulling off his shirt setting it on the rail.

He kisses me ruffly and grabs me under my ass picking me up. I quickly wrap my legs around him and he walks forward to the rail setting me on his shirt. I smile as I get what his plans are. I reach down massaging him through his pants and he is already hard. I love that I excite him so much, it makes me want him so bad. "Eric I want you in me." I whisper on his lips.

"My princess is impatient is she." He slides his hand between my legs and quickly inserts his fingers sliding them in and out. I moan loudly unable to hold it in. "Fuck, I love that you are always so wet for me." My hands frantically undo his belt for the second time today and release him from his boxers. "We have to be quick." I grab him hard, "I don't think that is going to be a problem." My voice is all breathy. I am already so close. He kisses me hard and I feel him grab the condom out of his pocket and put in on himself without his lips leaving mine. He grabs my hips and enters me quickly, then stills.

"Fuck, I will never get tired of that feeling." I can't reply, I am too close. "He starts moving in and out slowly at first and then he picks up speed. His fingers dig into my skin but I don't care. I lean back just a little putting one hand on the rail and the other holding his neck, not caring there is a 10 foot drop behind me. He feels absolutely divine as he pushes me higher and higher. I open my eyes and he is looking at me with pure lust. "Come baby." He slams into me hard and I can't hold back any longer my orgasm tears through me. I moan his name loudly and it is enough to push him over too. He grabs me tightly holding me to him as we come down.

When my breathing evens out a little my head is resting on his shoulder. "I don't think I will ever get enough of you." I grin at his words. He sighs, "As much as I like our little bubble here, we have to get back." I take one more deep breath and unwrap my legs from him and he pulls out of me slowly watching me. I close my eyes as the aftershocks go through me. When I open my eyes he has a huge smile on his face. "I love seeing that." He helps me down and I grab my pants to put them on. He turns his shirt right side in and puts it back on, then does up his pants. I could look at him all day. He looks up at me and smiles. "Did you not get enough?" I get a little embarrassed but I pull his lips to mine. "It will do for now." I kiss him and he shakes his head.

He grabs my hand and we start back. When we reach the car he gives me one more tender kiss before we get in. I look at Paulo and he gives Eric a knowing smile. "Nice walk?" He ask sarcastically. I look down embarrassed. I know he knew what we just did. "Oh yes it was breath taking." Eric says back with amusement in his voices. "Oh my fucking god you guys enough." I snap at them with a smile not wanting to hear this. They both laugh and Eric starts up the car and we drive the short distance to the main camp.

We come to a stop and Paulo turns back to me with a mischievous smile. "Do you want your desert or did you get enough at the restaurant?" _Holy Shit_ , Eric fucking told him. My face turns about five shades of red and Paulo laughs. Eric punches him in the arm. "Suttle asshole," and he looks at me apologetically in the review." A smile spreads across my face.

"You can have it, Eric's too. I had my desert already and I promised Eric he can come get his from me later." I lick my lips and wink at Eric. He looks at me shocked as his mouth falls open as does Paulo's. "See ya later boys." I hop out satisfied. "Oh damn dude." Paulo laughs at him.

* * *

I head to my session with Lynn. I still can't stop smiling. Lunch with Eric was just amazing and I can't wait to see him at dinner after this. I walk in and Eric is in there. He looks up at me and keeps a straight face. "I will bring these to you when I am done. Thanks Eric." The sweetness in her voice is nauseating but Eric goes to leaving and gives me a wink making me forget about my irritation.

We go over and sit on the couch and we greet each other. Of course she wants to talk about what happened with Jeff.

"So Jeff tells me you guys are really close." I look up at her. "Yes, you can say that, we grew up together. He has always been there for me."

"Max also told me you found him and that you took it really hard." I shrug. "Ya, I guess so. He is my best friend. I am sure you could imagine that was pretty hard for me." She smiles. "Yes I guess I could. How were you able to calm down?" Shit. I am not sure how much I should actually tell her. "Eric took me out of the room." She looks down at her notes. "And how did he get you to calm down." Her voice has changed somehow. I think of how to word this without giving him away. "Um, he basically took me outside and held me down until I calmed down." She looks up at me. "Why would he hold you down?" She has temporarily lost her composure. _Crap, think_ , "I sort of lashed out physically at him, Paulo too. I think I left a few marks behind." She chuckles. I think her suspicions are gone.

"I also noticed you seem different around him compared to others." Nope, she knows something is up. I shrug trying to play it off. "I have emotional issues and tend to lash out, he has been showing me how to control them. He told me he use to have the same issues."

"He did huh. Well I suppose that is what they are here for. To work through your issues. I suppose it helps that he is extremely good looking." I keep a straight face. I know her game now. I shrug again keeping a straight face. "They are all actually hot, but that is not really what I am here for. I didn't come here to find a boyfriend." But I found one anyway.

"What about Jeff, you ever consider dating him." This is my way to get off the topic of Eric. "I know he likes me. He was actually my first kiss." I give a shy smile and she relaxes a little. She gets me to talk about it and I tell her, leaving out a few details that are none of her business. She actually has the guts to tell me I should really look into his feelings for me. I think that is a little out of her job description, to be fixing me up with guys.

We finally finish and I am happy to be done with that, but it still worries me that she has been so observant of Eric and I. I may have to say something to him. I go outside and the guys are outside kicking the soccer ball around so I go to join them.

* * *

Today turned out to be another great day. Laying in bed waiting for lights out, my mind runs through everything that happened today. I still can't believe I told Eric that I love him, well sort of anyway. He asked and I said yes. He hasn't ran for the hills so I think he is ok with it and I feel so much better that he knows. He also called me his girlfriend today. It was so amazing hearing it come out of his mouth. I also noticed I have becoming more bold around him. I still can't believe I actually went down on him. I still don't know how I had the courage to do it and what I said that to Paulo. He was teasing me at dinner when he asked Eric 'You going to have desert after dinner.' I about choked on my food and they both laughed at me while everyone else just stared at me. It was nice to just joke around though. I also was happy to have both Jeff and Eric at dinner, both seemly done with their feud and were even talking to each other.

The lights go out and I close my eyes with a smile on my face and fall asleep thinking of my _boyfriend_.

* * *

 **Well a day without too much drama. Hope you guys liked it. By the way this cove really does exist just not in Cle Elum. It isn't open to the public because it is in the Cedar River Watershed. I have a picture of the awesome rainbow mist somewhere, if I can find it I will have to post it somewhere. Let me know what you think. Until next time. :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't been keeping with my daily updates that you guys love so much. Hopefully I will be getting back to normal fairly soon. You guys are awesome as ever with all your reviews, they definitely brighten my day. Thank you guys so much for continuing to support me. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 29:**

 _(Sunday July 26th)_

Things are awesome. Considering my current situation, I don't things could be better right now. I have managed to go an entire week without any problems. Jeff is more cheerful these days and we are back to being best friends. Jeff and I talked again about our feeling toward each other on Wednesday and I felt a little shitty that I never realized how much he actually liked me, but I think he feels better that he got out the truth. I catch him looking at Eric and I sometimes but I don't expect him to just drop all his feelings that he held onto for so many years. I think we both feel better now that we understand how each other feels.

I have been doing good in class again this week and after two months of being here, my workouts no longer bother me. I have never really been big into exercising but there now I see why people get into it. I feel so much better throughout my day. A few times this week I even chose to run a few extra laps in the evening. I am even amazed the Jeff has chosen to join me on my extra runs, telling me it is nice to run together. He has complimented me on several occasions on how my body has become more and more defined, which I now blush a little now at his compliments knowing how he feels.

Eric and I are good although I have not had enough nerve to actually say 'I love you', even though I did answer his question when he asked. It still sucks that Eric and I have to hide our relationship too. It has mostly consisted of impromptu meeting behind the buildings to makeout but last night was really nice. Instead of their normal drinking night, Paulo and Eric joined Jeff and me at our monthly bonfire with the other cadets. We talked a whole lot about normal everyday things. It was nice getting to find out things about them. I found out that Eric really likes the local sports teams and loves to hike. Of course we talked about music and Jeff was surprised to find out that Eric like much of the same music we do. Eric also told me about wanting to hike the whole length of the John Wayne trail which I think would be really cool. They told us a few crazy stories about time they spent here. Paulo actually was the one that tried to escape and had to learn the hard way not to sneak out. It was so nice just to talk and laugh.

The only thing putting that has me down a bit today is that we have visiting day this evening. It is the only one we get but several of us don't expect to see anyone because Chicago to Washington is a bit to far for most of our family and friends. I know my dad would never take off work and my mom wouldn't come without my dad. My sisters are off doing their own things and my brother got his 'business'. It makes me really miss my family. Jeff told me his mom wanted to come but she didn't have the money. She wrote him last week letting him know she just couldn't make it. He gets letters from her regularly and wrote me a letter once too when she found out I was here as well. She is such a nice woman, always happy and trying to make the best out of crappy situations.

But other than her letter, I haven't heard from anyone including my family. It is a little depressing but at least I have Jeff and now Eric. It isn't so terrible that no one in my family cares and the one that does just has no time. I know Steven is mad at me but he will get over it when I am out. I wonder how he will react to Eric. I never really showed interest in guys before although he had blocked a few guys attempt to get close to me, but I mostly kept them away. He doesn't know what happened and I really don't ever want him to know. He would probably go to every length possible to find him and kill him. I do not want my brother in prison because of me. He deserves to have a better life than that. He is a good kid.

Eric sits down next to me at breakfast breaking me out of my thoughts. He keeps a straight face but bumps his knee against me to say hello. "Penny for your thoughts."

"Just thinking about my life." I try to stay happy. "Is that a good or bad thing?" Paulo ask with a smirk as he glances from me to Eric. Paulo sure has gotten more and more friendly with me and the guys which is nice, but he always has something sarcastic to say. Eric says that it usually happens about half way through camp because he gets tired of only having Eric to talk to. "Oh there are the good parts..." I smile glancing at Eric but trying not to be to obvious. "...and then there are the bad parts." I look down at my food. "No family coming today?" Paulo ask guessing my souring mood. I shake my head no, "We were hoping to see Jeff's mom but she can't make it."

"Well then we will just have to find something to do to have a little fun." He smiles at me and I try not to wonder what he has on his mind. "Did someone say 'have a little fun'?" I am shocked to hear Lynn's voice. She sits down on the other side of Eric. I give Paulo a strange look because she never joins us for meals and her sessions don't start for a while. I can't look at Eric so Paulo is my go-to person. He gives me a shrug with his eyes and I know he is just as confused by her presents.

"We were just talking about hanging out is all." Paulo says smoothly. Something is off but I am not sure why. "Oh yeah, are you guys up for hanging out and playing pool tonight?" Its been a while. "Actually we can't tonight, we went out last night." Eric says like it is nothing. I sit up a little straighter. I didn't know they went out, or maybe he is just making up a reason. "Speaking of that. I think I need to find a new drinking partner, these day Eric here won't shut up once he is drunk." So they did go out.

"Well that is something new. Since when are you the talkative type?" Lynn ask Eric. He gives Paulo a pissed off looks. "I just have a lot going on in my life and I thought I could talk about it with my _best buddy_ but obviously he doesn't want to hear it." He is clearly irritated either by the fact that Paulo brought it up or with the fact that Paulo didn't want listen to it. "Well you know Eric, I would love to listen to your problems." She says seductively and I see her rub her hand on his leg and I feel him tense up next to me. Paulo shakes his head. I bite the inside of my lip and look at Paulo trying to reign in my anger. I know her advances are unwelcome but it still pisses me off.

Jeff bumps my arm so I look at him. "Deep breaths," he whispers to me. I must be letting more show than I want. "I am good, thanks for the offer Lynn." Eric tells her moving her hand off his leg. She leans over and whispers something in his ear and she swallows hard. I need to get out of here. I stand up, and Jeff gets up with me. "Well see you guys outside." He says and I am grateful he is still trying to protect me. I don't know if I could talk right now. "Oh, hey Dani, I didn't see you there. You have my first session, don't be late." I see Eric lips are pressed in a tight line as he stares at the food he isn't eating. I just give her a tight nod and turn around before I roll my eyes. Jeff and I head outside.

"What the hell was that all about?" Jeff ask as soon as we are outside. I shake my head. "I have no fucking idea. I mean, they had a thing for a while but he told her he wasn't interested anymore." Jeff looks at me almost sympathetically. "Don't get mad at me for asking, but are you sure?" I laugh because I still haven't told him about that argument. "Yes I am sure, I saw him do it." Well on camera I did anyway. "But it is weird that she is here so early and joining us for breakfast and she sure it more touchy than normal." My voice is beginning to show my anger. "Wow are you getting jealous?" I smack his arm. "Of course not. I just don't particularly like her. She seems like a bit of a slut to me and he told her he is with someone now and looks how she is acting toward him." "Maybe she still likes him." Jeff looks at me to see my reaction. "Well too bad for her." I smile at him not wanting to talk about it anymore. I guess inside I am a little jealous, I mean she is older and way more beautiful than me. Eric's good looks obviously drawing in the good looking ones.

"So what are we doing today?" I try to lighten the mood. "How about we kick around the soccer ball?" I smile at him because he knows I love soccer. I only have a few more assignments to get done so I really need something to do today. "That sounds good to me."

* * *

When I step into the classroom for my session, I see Eric talking to Lynn. _Seriously_. Eric has a smile on his face until he turns and sees me. "Thanks for the files Eric." She says to him sweetly. "Sure thing." He says not looking back at her, I am sure trying to hide his change in expression. Lynn looks at me and then grabs his arm. "Oh Eric?" He stops and turns to face her. He touches his chest with one finger and drags it down to his stomach. "I will see you later." My anger instantly rises and I see a confused look on Eric's face. He doesn't say anything just nods at me and leaves. I try to breath, I don't want her to know that bothered me so much but when I look at her, her head is cocked to the side starting at me. She did that on purpose to see my reaction. Stupid bitch is starting to figure it out. _Crap_. This is only going to get more complicated.

I walk over to the couch trying to stay calm. We sit down and she grabs her pen and paper trying to seem normal. "Sorry, that man just drives me wild." I refrain from rolling my eyes and just shrug like it is no big deal. "You know to let you in on a secret, we kind of have a thing." Her voice is sickening to listen to and apparently she doesn't know I already knew that. But I have the advantage because I also know there is nothing between them any more. Although it is pissing me off that she is trying to make me mad at him on purpose, or maybe she is just trying to be sure it is me that he is interested in. Either way it just makes me not like her more and more.

When she sees I am not going to react to her petty comments, we go into talking about Jeff again and how I should talk with Jeff that maybe I have feelings I don't realize. Again irritating as hell because she is a little late on this point. I swear, she is the least helpful shrink I have ever seen.

Our 30 minutes is finally up and I go out to join the guys who are messing around in the court yard. Seems like everyone is out there today since it is a really nice day. On second thought I really should get my work done first so I head for the dorm to get my homework. As I am walking to the door Paulo stops me. "Hey, Eric wants you to meet him behind the cabins." I shake my head because I notice Lynn is watching me. "Tell him I said not now." Paulo rolls his eyes. "I guess I am a damn messenger now. I really don't need to be in the middle of your guy's quarrels." He walks off taking out his phone I assume to text Eric.

* * *

Lynn has been getting on my fucking nerves all day. I swear every time I turn around she is near by. She sat with us for lunch and now dinner. I haven't been able to talk to Eric all day and it is starting to wear on us both. He is super tense beside me as we eat dinner in an uncomfortable silence. "So Lynn, you out of here after dinner." Eric asks a little rougher than he usually is toward her. She seems pretty surprise at his tone too. "Yeah, I just wanted some food in my stomach before driving back was all." She almost sounds saddened. I hurry and eat my food so I can get out of here. I have had enough of her today and I really want to touch Eric. Being so close to him is making it extremely difficult. Jeff has been making small talk but it is no longer helping. I look at him and look out the window and he nods getting up. "You coming?" He ask me with a smile and I gratefully nod my head and we go out to the courtyard.

We set up a small soccer area so we can play three on three. As we finish, I see Eric exiting the hall and Lynn following after him. She smiles sweetly at him and tells him she will see him soon. I would really like it if she would stop that shit. Then she runs her hand down his arm and tells him bye. My face must look murderous because Jeff hisses at me. "Dani, fucking quit." I turn back toward him before anyone see me. "Is it that obvious that I want to tear her head off right now." He chuckles, "Yes, now stop."

The other trickle out and those of us not expecting visitors, start kicking the ball around. Since there is no P.T tonight and there wasn't any last night due to the bonfire, the game will help get out some of my pent up frustration. I have been avoiding Eric all day and I am sure he is just as frustrated as I am.

Visitors start arriving and they are pretty sparse but everyone still seems to be in a good mood. A woman with two younger girls comes to visit with Tara, both of Huck's and Steven's Parents come, and John's dad shows up which he doesn't seem happy about. When Leeann's mom shows up, I see why she is the way she is. Her moms seems to be the exact same. She was actually flirting with Max and Eric. I had to roll my eyes because I really didn't expect anything less.

I suddenly turn around when I hear a woman call Jeff's name. I am completely shocked to see Jeff's mom. She told him she couldn't come up with the money. Jeff, Patrick and I all excuse ourselves from the game and run over to her. She hugs Jeff warmly before giving Patrick a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug. Then she turns her attention to me. "Dani, my girl I have missed you so much." She engulfs me in a big hug and I accept it warmly. She was like another mom as I grew up. We were always at her house and she never minded having two extra mouths to feed. "I can't believe you are here. Not that it is a good thing but I tell Jeff all the time that he needs to bring you around more often. I never get to see you anymore. All I have are the boys to look after and I need a girl around." I smile at her, "Sorry, I haven't been around, and it is so good to see you too. "

"Mom, I thought you couldn't come?" All the sudden arms wrap around me tightly so I can't move my arms and before I can react, I hear the person grabbing me. "You hit me and I will kick your ass." _Holy Shit_. I wiggle out of his arms with a squeal and turn around, throwing my arms around my brother. "I can't believe you are here, what the hell!" He holds me tightly for a minute before letting me go. Then I proceed to punch his arm hard. "Don't you know how to pick up a pen Jerk." His grin is huge and contagious, I can't help but to smile back. "Sorry, I hate writing you know that." He gives Jeff and Patrick man hugs greeting them with 'what's up'. "Ok, so now you can tell us how you both are here." I say with all seriousness. Jeff's mom smiles at me sweetly. "Well I ran into your brother a few days back. I haven't seen him since Jeff was sent here." I suppose that makes sense since they all sell from the supplier so they swap products often. "I was telling him about visiting day and he was so gracious as to offer to pay for our trip here. He said that he owed Jeff and he really wanted to see you anyway, so here we are."

"Man I can't thank you enough." Jeff says patting Steven on the back. "Like I said, I owed you. Our debt done dude?" Jeff smiles at him. "Done."

Jeff goes to take his mom around the camp and Steven and I sit down beside our makeshift soccer field to catch up. "So how are mom and dad?" He shrugs, "Dad is still pretty upset at you but I can tell he is pretty sad your not around. You know kinda like he always does. I am suppose to tell you he hopes you finally learn your lesson this time, and that he loves you. Mom is mom, you never know how she really feels. She says hi and she loves you too." Sounds typical. "And the sisters?" He huffs, "The same, 'she needs to learn', 'hope this is the last time', you know. I went and saw Eve in Jail, she says she loves you and she hopes when she gets out we can all spend some time together." I roll my eyes. We were all pretty close as kids but we have grown apart these last few years.

"How are you doing?" He eyes me suspiciously. "You look great by the way. Looks like you finally lost that little girl tummy you always had." He laughs and I bump my shoulder into his. "Shut up jerk. You had it for a long time too. It is in our genes. But seriously I am good. I have been working on my issues, we work out a lot and get this, we have school work. It is summer time and I am stuck doing school work." He raises his eyebrow. "Sounds like torcher to me."

"It isn't all bad, I mean, I am in great shape now. School has always been easy for me so it isn't to bad. At least it passes the time and in case you haven't noticed, the hot guy to girl ratio here is in my favor." His lips press into a line. "Any of them bothering you? I have been really worried about you." He is serious, it just makes my heart warm. "I am fine _little_ brother. I have been known to take care of myself occasionally. Besides this place is different. There aren't groups pouncing on each other to show who is boss, or bullies who just like to go around beating up people. No colors, no drugs, it is actually pretty nice out here. The air is clean, I get along with mostly everyone, it is way better than I imagined." I can't help the grin on my face thinking about how nice it is. His eyebrow shoots up. Damn, he knows me too well. "And any of these guys catch the eye of my little sister." I am not ready to tell him yet, especially because I don't want him to freak out on Eric right here and ruin everything. I don't think he is going to like the fact that I am dating my instructor. I try to play it off nodding my head no, but I can tell he knows.

I look over toward the dorms and I see Eric and Paulo leaning on the stage. I have noticed that Eric has been eyeing me since Steven got here and he seems really irritated. "You want to meet my instructors. They are actually pretty cool." He looks at me eyeing me for a minute at my change in subject. "Sure."

We get up and I walk over to introduce my brother. I purposely stand next to Eric to ensure I am between him and my brother in case it happens to come out that we are dating. "Steven, this is Eric and Paulo. Eric is my lead instructor. Paulo, Eric, this is my brother Steven." I can't help the grin on my face as Eric's face goes from irritated to relief in less than a second. Who did he think it was. They all shake hands and say hello. "So you guys are the ones harassing my little sis." I look at him, "Little?" I am tired of hearing that just because I am shorter than all these guys. I am not short or anything they just all seem to be taller. "Ok, ok, younger. Man I feel for you guys, she is a damn handful." Eric laughs and I eye him as he tries to hold in a smile. "You are definitely on point there." Paulo speaks up. "Hey I am not that bad." Paulo laughs, "Says the girl who put me on my ass." Steven looks at me shocked. "I uh, some shit happened, I will tell you about it later." I shake my head, not wanting to rehash that shit in my head now.

"Oh yeah, I am sure she has all kinds of things to tell you." Eric says with a smirk. I glare at him trying to get him to knock it off, I really don't want to do this now. "Anyways, I am going to show my brother around. See you guys later." I start to pull my brother away. "You guys take care of her for me and for heavens sake keep her out of trouble." He says over his shoulder to Eric and Paulo. "Don't worry, she will be taken care of." Eric says with a smirk and I give him one more dirty look and mouth 'cabins' to him behind my brother back. I really want to talk to him and make sure things are ok after the whole Lynn thing today.

I show my brother the dorms and he was shocked at the co-ed sleeping arrangements and expressed his dislike. I introduce him to Four and Paulo who were in the mess haul as we get some coffee and we just talk. It is so nice to have him here, I missed our talks a lot. I finally get up the nerve to tell him about Jeff suicide attempt and the discovery of his feelings for me, which I managed to do without telling him about Eric, but I did tell him about what I did to Paulo.

I run my hands along the grass where we are sitting. "I always knew it. It was pretty obvious." He tells me. I guess I really was the only one who didn't realize it. "I actually kind of figured you guys would end up together. He has always been closer to you than anyone else outside of our family and to be honest I wouldn't have minded you dating him." I roll my eyes at him. "Thanks. Glad he would have been on your approved list."

"Well when you do meet someone, he better meet my fucking standards or he can take a hike. I ain't going to let some asshole date my sister. You need a real man that knows how to treat you and that makes you happy, I will except nothing less." I grin widely. Wonder how he will feel about Eric. He is a man, he treats me very well and he makes me extremely happy. I look up realizing he has stopped talking and is looking at me. His eyebrow is raised. "Is there something you want to tell me?" _Shit._ I try to be cool. "No, why?" The look in his eyes tell me he doesn't believe me. I glance at Eric quickly and then down at the ground hoping Steven didn't just see that. Paulo is with Eric still so if he did maybe he won't know who. I however can't keep the smile off my face. "Yeah ok."

Max steps out from his office. "Five minutes to the end of visiting."

My mood nose dives in a second. I am not ready for my brother to go yet. It has been so nice to spend the last few hours with him. Steven jumps up and holds out his hands pulling me up harder than necessary making me almost fly forward onto my face. He laughs at me, "Jerk." I say hitting his arm. He rubs it like it actually hurt and I roll my eyes and smile. He always knows how to cheer me up. I pull him into a hug and he hugs me back harder. "Take care of yourself, I will see you in a few months and I expect more answers then." He releases me and I smile at him. "Maybe you should try to pickup a pencil and I will write you back." He looks at me like I am crazy. "We'll see."

Patrick, Jeff, and his mom comes over. She suddenly engulfs me a hug and I am shocked as she tightens her grip. My chest tightens a little at the contact and I am about to push her back, until she begins to whisper in my ear. "You will always have a special place in my heart. Thank you for saving him." She lets go and gives me a loving motherly look and I fight to hold back the tears threatening my eyes. I give her a smile, and everyone gives hugs and say their last goodbyes. "You guys have a safe trip back." I manage to choke out. Jeff puts his arm around my shoulder and we all waive goodbye as they disappear between the buildings.

"You ok?" Jeff ask me as he gives me a hug and I feel Patrick wrap his arms around me too. I hold in my tears, I don't want to cry in front of everyone. "I need some time." I wiggle out of their grasp and Jeff nods at me. I walk to the mess haul going in and then back out through the back door. I walk absent minded, around the outside to the cabin side. I come to a stop and lean against the wall. I don't want to cry but I want my brother back already. I fucking hate this.

I hit my head on the wall several times trying to use the pain to push my tears away. "Stop." His authoritative voice rings out and I freeze. I don't want him to see me like this yet again. However, I managed to find myself where I told him I would meet him so it is my own fault. I put my head back still trying to hold my tears in. "I take it you and your brother are very close." I nod my head slightly and swallow down the sadness I am feeling. Eric walks over to me, "Babe, no one is here but me, don't be afraid to cry in front of me." I look at him. "I don't need to cry, I just need you to hold me." He gives me a smile. "That I can do." He pulls me into a tight hug laying his cheek on my head as I wrap my arms around his waist and we just stand there until my sadness subsides.

When I finally feel better I pull back and smile at him. "Better?"

"Much. You know, you could make me even better." His lips turn into a evil grin. "Now that I can definitely do." He holds my face and kisses me tenderly first before he deepens it licking my bottom lip. I forget everything but the feeling of his lips on mine. Our tongues dance around and I pull his lip into my mouth sucking on it. He moans and pushes me back up against the wall, continuing his assault on my lips.

I love the taste of him. I love how sexy he is. I love that he can take my mind off all the fucked up things in my life and I love that all it takes is his touch to comfort me. I love that he makes me feel so beautiful and strong. He really is the most wonderful man. We break from our kiss needing air and he leans his forehead on mine. _Tell him!_

I look up into his eyes, "I love you Eric!" He closes his eyes and smiles from ear to ear before he kisses me gently one more time.

* * *

 **So we are half way done with camp. I am sure you guys are seeing what is coming. As always your reviews and comments are appreciated This story has hit some stat I never for one second thought would happen. I appreciate all of your guys support with this. Thank you again! Until next time!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey everyone. Another chapter for another day. Thank you guys again for all the reviews. It looks like a lot of people want a sequel so I will start to think about that one. I have an idea, I just need to expand it. Also thanks to the guest reviewer that I cannot respond to as well as my faithful reviewer. I love reading you comments. Well here's another for you, Enjoy!**

 **This chapter is rated MA. Proceed with caution.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 30:**

 _(Sunday August 2nd)_

My time here seems to be flying by these days. I have made it through another week but my happiness from seeing my brother followed me into the week. I started to write him a letter about Eric but I can only get part way through it. I am not quite sure what to say and I am nervous how he is going to react. The last thing I want is for him to fly back out here and cause trouble. I wonder if maybe I should Skype him. I would have to work really hard for the week to get the privilege. I missed it last week by one as Steven and Tara ranked in as the top two.

Tara has actually started hanging out with us more and I have noticed her and Jeff sharing some glances. It would be really great for him if he finds someone he likes. So of course I encourage her hanging with us whenever I can. The more she hangs out with us the more I like her. She really is pretty cool now that she isn't hanging out with Leeann all the time. Leeann on the other hand just gets on my nerve more and more. Her and Joseph seem to have forgotten the whole Jeff thing and they hang on each other like two horny monkeys. It is quite irritating especially as I am becoming sexually frustrated.

Eric and I haven't been able to have more than a kissing session since our lunch at The Cottage. I noticed he has been working out quite a bit more this week and I am thinking he is feeling the tension as well. Our little make out sessions the last few days have gotten real intense and I can tell he really needs a release. I swear we were ready to just go at it behind the cabins yesterday as he had me pinned to the wall with my legs wrapped around him, but he was interrupted by a text from Max. The groan that escaped his mouth was nothing less than complete devastation. I couldn't help but laugh which earned me a evil look and a hard smack on my ass as I walked away so he could calm himself before going to see Max.

Max reveals today's rankings and I am in 3rd yet again. Damn. I really need to stop day dreaming during class. Eric does the ranking, why can't he just fix them so I am in the top. I really don't want to cheat or get anything that I didn't earn but I am starting to get desperate with need.

As we fall into our morning laps, I decide to sprint the entire way earning me a pool of stares from everyone but I need to work up all this pent up frustration. I push as hard as I can through our workout and by the time we are done I am a sweaty mess, feeling only slightly better. We are dismissed and I tell Jeff, who did make the top two that I am going to take a quick shower. Eric's eye shoot toward me and I see the lust in his eyes. What I wouldn't give to be able to have him join me and instantly my frustrations are back as I begin to ache at the thought. I see Eric look down and bite his lip with a heavy sigh. All I can do is shake my head and go take my shower leaving the water a bit colder than normal to calm myself down.

Jeff, Patrick and I go to breakfast and I try not to think about having to see Lynn again first thing this morning. I really wish he would schedule my sessions at the end of the day so it isn't totally ruined by her. I sit down with my breakfast burrito and fruit. Eric isn't here yet but I am guessing he needed a quick cold shower. I sit and mope, eating slowly as Patrick and Royce talk about how football preseason starts today with the hall of fame game. I should be excited but I am not due to a lack of Eric's presence. Half way through breakfast he finally joins us and I try to hide the smile as I see his wet hair.

My joy is cut short when Lynn come in a second later with two lattes and sits next to Eric. "Here, I figured you could use some good coffee." She sets his coffee in front of him and slides her hand down to his leg. Eric gets completely still before removing her hand quickly.

"Yeah, thanks. I will bring you the files in a few minutes, I just need to eat real quick." He sounds completely off but not in the way I expected. He almost sounds shocked and after she did this last week, I am not sure how that is possible. "Ok, see you real soon." Can she possibly irritate me any more? I look at Paulo's face and he has is lips pressed into a line trying to hold in the smile on his face.

Lynn gets up and leave. "She really needs to fucking quit that shit." Eric says quietly and I don't know if he is saying for my benefit or his. He shivers and looks like he is trying to shake off her touch as squirms in his seat uncomfortably. I notice Paulo's raise and eyebrow and Eric just shakes his head. I really want to ask him what the hell that is all about, but I will have to wait until later.

I finish up my food before Eric, which is new but I give him a sweet smile follow Jeff with a 'see you later' to everyone, but mostly for Eric's benefit. I think maybe if we can't both have fun later, maybe I can help him out in another way since he did it for me earlier this week.

* * *

I head to my eight thirty session with Lynn and I am not looking forward to spending time with her. As I reach for the door it is already half open, "Come on Eric, I felt your pants get tight when I my hand touched your leg." I freeze. _What the fuck!_ "I know you want me and obviously this new thing you have isn't taking care of you very well." I am instantly pissed beyond belief. "Lynn, we are not having this conversation." Eric's voice is a little rough. Does he want her still? Is she right? Why would his pants tighten unless he was turned on by her touch. Explains the look Paulo gave him. He knew by Eric's reaction.

"Eric baby, you know I can take care of you in all kinds of ways. Come out with me tonight, I will make you feel better." I can't listen to this shit anymore, and this time I am not running. I open the door the rest of the way loudly and I am almost relieved that he is not standing next to her. He is leaning on the wall while she is against the desk giving him goggly eyes. His eyes shoot to mine and I know I look pissed. He closes his eyes and breaths in deeply looking pissed as well. "I got to go Lynn and that is a no to your request." He leaves without another word or even another look to me. It pisses me off more and I suddenly feel a bit insecure.

Why does he not tell her to back the fuck off. I mean I know he did once but she obviously isn't getting the picture. Unless maybe he does what her still he just doesn't want me to know about it. I go sit down with a plop on the couch not wanting to get in trouble for leaving. Lynn sits down with a sly smile on her face. "He sure is a wild one, I don't think any woman would be able to tame him. Even I have a hard time." I do not look up at her and it is taking every last drop of strength for me to stay in my seat right now. This bitch is really pushing me to my limit here.

I take a deep breath to calm myself before looking at her. "Maybe he just doesn't like you as much as you think. He doesn't seem to return your gestures much." I say with a fake smile on my face. She chuckles. "Oh trust me, that is just the facade he puts on when others are around. He is completely different when people aren't around." and I want to smack that smile off her face. "Don't worry hun, its not just you,he has never been able to just stick with one girl. His needs are just far to great." _She knows._ She bites her lip and I am on my feet shaking my head. "Get a fucking life you dumb bitch." She laughs, "Oh honey, I am perfectly happy being his little fuck buddy. I can satisfy his needs like no other. That is why he keeps coming back to me."

I shake my head and turn to leave. I can't stay here or I will be in jail within the hour. I walk outside and Eric is standing against the wall. I see the alarm cross his face as he sees me. He comes up to me quickly. "Babe, what just happened?" He keeps his voice low. I am so angry right now I just need to be alone. I am pissed at him for being turned on by her, I am pissed at her for trying to fuck my boyfriend. This is all just too much. "Why don't you go ask your little _girl-friend_ in there?" His eyes pull together. "I am looking at my fucking _girlfriend_ and I want to know what the hell is going on."

"Well apparently she knows its me and she is hell bent of fucking you anyway. Since your body seems to want her so much maybe you should go grant her request." His anger peaks and he struggles to keep his voice low, "It was not fucking like that. I just got done taking a shower thinking about you naked, the only thing my body was reacting to is my need to fuck you right then." I look into his eyes and I see his truth. We are so close right now without touching it is driving me nuts. I go to grab his arm. "Don't" He tells me sternly and I know it is to keep me from making the mistake of others seeing us. "Go through the back door of the other classroom now!" I look at him confused. "Go now!" I turn on my heels, still pissed but I do what he says, I go around the back of the building and into the other classroom through the back door. What now? I shake my head and lean up against the counter at the back.

"What the hell are you trying to pull?" I hear Eric's voice almost yell. "Come on Eric I know your fucking her, she can't keep it off her face. There is no way that little thing could possibly know how to satisfy your crazy needs." That bitch has some nerve.

"And what you think you can." I really do not want to hear this shit. "I don't think Eric, I know! I have seen it before and you will end up running to me when she doesn't satisfy your obsessive need for sex. I mean look at you already, How long has it been a week? two? You are already pulling out your hair in need. Let me fix that for you." I can't help but hold my breath.

"Keep you fucking hands off me Lynn. You have no idea. You are merely a toy for me to play with. Someone I can fuck and leave when ever I want. But I no longer need you. I have found someone amazing that satisfies more than my hunger for sex. She reaches me on a level higher than I knew was possible. It makes the wait for her even more exciting and I have no intentions of being with anyone other than her. She loves me in every way possible and that is something you and I will never have. In fact as of right now, you and I have nothing. I don't want to be with you, I don't want your friendship and I would be happy if I never had to see you again." Her voice gets quiet and sad. "Eric you don't mean that. You need me." I hear him move toward the front door. "That is where your wrong. I only need her, and you better keep your mouth shut or I will lay all your fucked up secrets out to bare." He slams the door shut as he walks out and I hear a muffled scream from her. She is obviously pissed.

A second later he walks in the front door of the room I am in and closes the door locking it behind him. He walks up to me quietly completely focused on me trying to reel in his anger from his conversation with Lynn. "You get it, I only want you." His lips are on my hard with desperation in them, and hearing his confession to Lynn completely dissolved my anger replacing it with need for him. He deepens our kiss quickly and I know what he wants. "The cameras," I whisper to him. "Their off." He says quickly on my lips almost coming out as a growl. His lips move to my neck as he presses himself against me so I can feel his need which is only mirrored by my own. "You are mine and I want you right now." It is not really a question but I feel like he is asking for permission. "Then take me." He moans on my neck and frantically undoes my pants as I undo his.

He pulls them down quickly and I barley have enough time to kick of my boots before he is pulling my legs out of my pants. I look down at him as he stops suddenly. He gives me a that smile as he bits his lip and he quickly throws my leg over his shoulder and attacks my clit with his expert tongue. I throw my head back at the unexpected assault and bit my lip hard to hold in my moan. His tongue is relentless and in no time I am on the edge. He slides two fingers into me quickly and his moan of pleasure at my wetness pushes me over the edge. I pull his hair hard trying to contain my sounds and it only causes him to moan again sending more shock waves through me.

He stands and quickly sets me up on the counter I was leaning on. I have not fully come down from my orgasm yet. "And I am yours, only yours." He says roughly as he slams into me hard. I let out a quiet moan as the smile spreads across his face and he starts to move in and out of me fast and hard. Not having fully recovered from the first orgasm, the second one already threatens to ripe through me hard. His grip tightens as he slams deeper and deeper into me. All thoughts elude me other than how fucking good he feels in me, so hard, so big pushing higher and higher than I had ever thought possible. "Look at me," He says almost feral. I open my eyes to look into his as I begin to tighten around him. "I, am, yours, body, heart, and soul." I can no longer contain it as he slams into me between each word. I let go and let my orgasm rip through me. I try to cover my mouth to hold in my moans but he catches my hand, "Let her hear." He slams into me again extending my orgasm and I moan his name loudly, pushing him over the edge as he buries his face in my neck trying to quiet his own moans, calling out some form of my name.

I look up and Lynn is standing with the door between the rooms open just enough for me to see her. I can't help the smile that spreads across my face as he rides out his orgasm. "You are the fucking best, ever." He tells me out of breath still twitching inside me and he kisses me hard. I hear the front door of the other classroom slam shut, and I know that our issue has now been solved.

He lets out a single chuckle. "I don't think she will be a problem anymore." He says almost proud. I smile on his lips. "Me neither." He pulls out of me sending welcome aftershocks up my body, and I hum in appreciation. "Like it rough do you?" He says with a smile on his face as he removes his condom. I am not sure when he put that on but I am grateful he did. "With all my pent up sexual frustration, I think it was a necessity." I tell him honestly. "Glad were on the same page." He laughs giving me another chastising kiss. "Hurry up and dress, she has another session in a few minutes.

"So what about the cameras." I ask him curiously as I put my pants back on. "The cameras in both classrooms go off automatically from eight thirty to eleven thirty and again from one thirty to four thirty. Maybe we can sneak in here again sometime. It is exciting trying not to get caught." That evil smile drives me nuts. I bite my lip completely turned on again and he grabs me tight lifting me on the counter again so we are eye to eye. "Stop biting your lip. I have not had my fill of you yet but we are out of time. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. "Well maybe you should have put me in the top two so we can have lunch together again." He kisses me, "As much as I would love that, I am no longer doing the rankings, Four is." I look at him strange. "If we are ever caught, I don't want them to say I was being unfair because you were my girlfriend. This way I have no control over that. I told max, I had to much other crap to do and it was a waste of my time. He agreed." It is actually a really good idea. "Well that's smart. Looks like I just need to work harder to get into the top."

"Please do, so I can reward a job well done." Ugh, I am aching again. I close my eyes and push my pelvis toward him. "What's the matter, not get enough of me." His voice is incredibly low and sexy. I repeat my actions. "You better find a way we can be alone again and soon. I don't know if I can wait another week." A smile spreads across his face. "I'll see what I can do." He gives me a quick kiss and lets me down. "See you later." He winks at me and goes out the front door. Damn that man is going to be the death of me. I see Lynn entering her classroom again and I leave out the back before anything else can happen.

* * *

As we sit down for lunch, everyone seems to be in a good mood. Lynn is no where in site and I am ecstatic. The pizza we are eating is delicious and the guys are back on the football subject arguing over who is going to the superbowl this year. "Guys hate to burst your bubble but Seattle is going back again." Eric chimes in surprising me a little. "Not going to happen dude." Huck counters. "They totally screwed the superbowl last year." Eric shakes his head, "It was one bad call, in which could have lead them to victory. I wouldn't call that screwed up. Now if they had been blown out of the water like they did to Denver, I may have something else to say. Granted they lost last year, it was one of the most interesting games ever." Jeff laughs, "Keep telling yourself that dude."

"I am telling you they are going all the way. I don't have to tell myself anything. I mean seriously, who do you want to win? The Chicago Bears?" I can't help but laugh. I love to watch football but I really don't have a favorite team. Eric evidently loves the Seahawks.

Paulo sits down giving Eric a odd stare. "Well don't you look like you are in a _way_ better mood. Able to work off some of your frustrations?" He laughs and Eric almost chokes on his food. I look down trying to hide my face. I feel Eric kick Paulo under the table and he just laughs. "Anyway, what is up with Lynn, I just went to grab her morning session reports and she bit my head off. That one is crazy, I am telling you." I can't keep the smile off my face. Serves her right the little hoe. "As far as I am concerned, that is your job from now on." Paulo looks up at him. "What? Why can't you do it?"

"Because I am the leader and you do what I say. Besides, your right, she's crazy and I don't want to deal with her anymore." Paulo gets a frustrated look. "Whatever man, but if she starts hitting on me again, you are going to make Zeke or Four do it." Eric shrugs his shoulders, obviously he doesn't care as long as it isn't him. "You up for drinks tonight at The Brick?" Eric smiles and give him a nod. He really does seem to be in a much better mood and I am happy knowing it had something to do with me.

Royce brings my attention back to him as he ask who is up for some flag football. Everyone at our table agrees including Eric and Paulo. It is nice to just have some plain old fun sometimes. We all finish up our food and go out to play.

Uriah, Zeke and Will all join us. Unfortunately for Four, he is on Dorm duty. Having some of the older guys just makes it more fun. Eric's good mood seems to be contagious because everyone seems more happy. Although he was not happy about us ending on separate teams. Me on the other hand, I found it to be way more exciting since I am quicker than he is.

By my second touch down on a break away catch, I am beat. Between pushing myself hard this morning and Eric's rough nature earlier, my legs are killing me. "I am out, I need some rest." There is a series of whines, "Come on you pansycake, you can't quit. It will make uneven teams." I look at Uriah and laugh. That is the most ridiculous insult I have ever heard. "Not my problem boys." I go over to the sideline where the others are not at and lay on the grass looking at the sky. "I'll play." Steven stand from talking to Terrie on the sidelines. "Let me run and change real quick." He turns and goes off into the dorm. "I'll sit out for a minute until he gets back." Eric says coming over to sit by me but not to close. He rest his arms on his knees as he watches the guys resume the game.

"Are you extracurricular activities wearing you out?" He says quietly. I look over and he is wearing a sly grin on his face. He is having one of his moments. Looking so young and relaxed. "Yes, apparently my boyfriend likes it rough and it was a little taxing on my delicate self." He laughs. "I sure didn't hear any complaining, if anything it was quite the opposite." He turns his head slightly so he can see me. "Oh, I was in no way complaining and would love to repeat our encounter in the near future."

"Good, because when I can finally get you alone for a decent amount of time, I would really like to show you the other things I really like." He is doing that sex, hot voice again causing my ache to resurface. I raise my eyebrow at him. "So I take it you like a lot of different positions." I try joking with him, but his face gets serious and then he pulls his lower lip into his mouth biting away the threatening grin. "Oh baby, I have a position for everyday of the year and I would gladly show you every one of them." _Fuck!_ My heart stops at his words and the look on his face.

Steven come back out to the field and Eric jumps up. "Something to look forward too." He winks at me as he walks away with a laugh. Urg, I finally let out my breath. How does this man turn me on so much. I cross my legs trying to get rid of the ache, but it does no good and sitting here watching him doesn't help.

To make things worse he comes over to the side a few minutes later removing his shirt so I can see all the deliciousness of his upper body. He looks me in the eye and licks his lips before dropping his shirt to the ground and going back to the game. Yes, we need some quiet time and really soon!

* * *

The lights go out and I am completely exhausted. After a little while of watching the guys I joined in the game again needing to burn off the frustration between my legs that Eric had caused. I managed to score another touch down by slipping past Eric which absolutely thrilled me. We finished our game by dinner and then I was able to get my homework done but not before our evening workout kicked my butt. I had pushed my body way too hard today and this was suppose to be our easy relaxed day.

At least I got my work done. I really need to hit the top two this next week. I want some alone time with Eric and he told me if I can get into the top two, he could plan something out for our lunch, what ever that meant. I am a little worried because I am not sure how me walking out on Lynn is going to work out for me this week, especially with Eric not in charge of rankings. I am not sure what she said about our session.

She left right after her last session without a word to Eric or I, but something tells me this is not over. She paused coming out of the classroom at the end of the day and stared at Eric for a minute before she headed to Max's office. I do not look forward to having to sit down with her next week. She obviously liked Eric a hell of a lot more than she ever let on and I can tell she is not going to just let this slide. I really hope his threat to her works and at the same time, I am a bit curious as to what secrets he was referring to.

Eric seems to not think much of it, but then again he is a guy. He doesn't understand the lengths some girls go to when they get hooked on guy. They can get down right scary. I pray my feelings are wrong but in the back of my mind, I know we have not heard the last from her.

* * *

"Dani," I hear someone whisper. "Dani, wake up." I open my eyes alarmed at Paulo's whispered tone. "What's wrong." My stomach drops and Paulo puts his finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet. "I need you to come with me and quickly." Fear hits me but before I can say anything, he grabs my hoodie off my chair, turns debating something for a moment and then grabs my hand pulling me up off my bed. When he is sure I ain't going to hit him he tightens is grip as he pulls me out the door. I go with him unsure if this is real or just a dream.

* * *

 **Sorry to leave you with another cliff hanger but I had to. As soon as this chapter was done, I just kept writing so I am back on schedule. The next chapter is done and it is Eric's POV. So stay tuned for tomorrows update. As always feel free to leave reviews and comments, they are definitely an inspiration. Until next time!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Ok, I decided to go ahead and post tomorrows chapter now since I got several request. It is the least I can do since I missed a few days. I can't promise I will have another one done by tomorrow but I will do my best. Also, I have only re-read this once and I have no beta so sorry for any errors in advance. Enjoy!**

 **This chapter is rated MA. Proceed with caution.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

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 **Chapter 31:**

 _(Monday August 3rd)_

 **Eric POV**

"Get the fuck off me Four!" I shout at him as him and Zeke are holding me down on the bed in the infirmary. I don't need their fucking help. I am going back there to deal with this shit. _Stupid fucking cowards._ "Damn it Eric calm the fuck down." Zeke yells at me as I struggle out of Fours arms getting off the bed. "I said I am going to deal with this now let me fucking go."

"You're beyond drunk Eric just wait until you sleep this off. Let Marlene help you." Four pushes me back on the bed again and him and Zeke each grab an arm to hold me down. "If you don't let me go right fucking now I am going to fucking whoop the shit out of both..."

"What the hell is going on!" Her voice stops my struggle. What the fuck is she doing here? She is in her pajama shorts with a hoodie and no shoes and her hair in a messy bun. She is so beautiful, even all mussed up like this. I don't want her to see me like this. Fucking Paulo, I am going to kill him. "Take her back to the fucking dorm." I tell him trying to get up again. Her hurt eyes meet mine, then fall down to my torn bloodied shirt and her expression changes to fear and worry.

 _Oh baby, don't, I am ok_. I stop struggling with Four and Zeke. "What is _she_ doing here?" Four questions, but I can't take my eyes off her expression. I know I am the cause of the look on her face and I don't like it. "She has an odd way of making him calm down. You guys can go now." Paulo says completely serious and Four looks at him crazy. Marlene comes in with a handful of supplies, "Four, Zeke you guys need to get back to the dorm before Max finds out no one is in there. Thanks for your help." She says dismissing them.

I shake my arms out of their hold and push myself back on bed looking down so I don't have to look at her sad eyes. Four and Zeke go to leave but Four stops giving her one last look and I swear if he doesn't stop looking at her I am going to kick his ass too. "You don't have to do this, you shouldn't have to deal with him while he's drunk." He says to her, but she doesn't take her eyes off me. "I can handle myself Four, go." She is so strong. He nods at her whispering 'good luck'.

 _Fucking prick, stay away from my girl!_ I will show him his place, damn ass hole. I jump up and Paulo steps in front of me. "Come on man you need to calm down and let Marlene look at you." I push him back and look at his face so he can see I am serious, "I said leave me the fuck alone."

As soon as Zeke and Four close the door she is in front of me and her hand is on my face. "Stop." She says quietly, but firmly and I freeze. I look down into her eyes. There is so much love there, it almost hurts to look into her eyes. How can she love me so much? I am no one, a failure who isn't worthy of her love. I broken man that could never her be the person she deserves. "You need to let Marlene look at you." She says calmly with her hand still on my face. I look away unable to stand her loving gaze. "I'm fine. I don't need any help."

"Hey, you are not fine, and if you don't let Marlene look at you I am going straight to get Max to take you to the hospital, you hear me." Her voice is so stern, demanding, almost mad. She is so strong. I don't deserve her. "Lay down please." She pleads with me and there is no way I can tell that beautiful face no. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I fall back on the bed. I cover my face with my arm peaking at her from beneath it. She sighs in relief as she sits at the end of the bed watching Marlene. I bend my leg up so she has room and she places her hand on my outstretched thigh. I fucking love her touch. My body relaxes under her hand and begins to spread to the rest of my body.

"Now does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?" She says still quiet but stern, I looking at Paulo and I have to laugh at her tenacity. I hear Marlene start cutting my shirt. "Hey I like this shirt, what the hell." She shakes her head and Danielle looks at me crazy. "Eric your shirt is fucking ruined, have you not seen yourself." She says as if I am crazy. " I look down and there are several rips in it already, along with a slash right across my chest and a whole lot of blood. I breath deeply as the room spins a bit and I close my eyes to calm myself.

She peels back my shirt and I hear Danielle's take a sharp breath. I try to focus on her hand that is still on me. I flinch as I feel something cold on my chest. "Eric hold still. I don't think you are going to need stitches but I am definitely going to have to clean it, bottles leave germs and glass." I groan as she wipes the long cut.

"What the hell do you mean bottle? Eric what the hell happened? I am serious, I want a fucking explanation now." She gets loud no longer able to container her anger. She is mad at me. _Good Job Eric._ I don't like it when she is mad at me. I grab her hand from my thigh and hold it tightly as Marlene cleans the wound. She squeezes my hand back but I still can't open my eyes. I don't want to see her sad face. I feel her breath in deeply as her patience wears thin. "Paulo, you have five seconds to start talking before I beat it out of you."

"Ok, ok, but for the record, you would not be able to kick my ass. The last time was a fluke." He begins to tell her what happened as I replay the last few hours in my head.

 **Flashback**

"Just for a little while man. I do not want to be exhausted tomorrow." I tell Paulo as we walk into The Brick Tavern. It is much bigger than it looks from the outside. An old T.V. show called 'Northern Exposure' was filmed her back in the early '90's and it is probably he most popular bar in the area and the one all the tourist visit. We head over to grab some drinks and then to the back wear the pool tables are. I look down at the other room off to the side of where I am, that houses the stage and dance floor. The DJ music is loud and I am surprised that it is this full tonight even though there is no live band.

Paulo calls next game to Eddie and Sean who are playing two guys I have never met. I say what up and the two guys introduce themselves as Ryan and James. "So Eric, you got a new girl huh?" Sean says to me with a grin. I nod my head not really wanting to talk about her with him. "So I was right about her being a feisty one?" I look at him crazy, what the hell does that mean. "Oh come on dude. The look you had on your face when you came out of the bathroom, either she fucked you or gave you head." I roll my eyes and shake my head. These guys really need to find their own excitement. I look at him. "What me and my girl do are none of your business and I have plans on telling you what we did or didn't do in there." He takes a drink of his beer. "What ever, you don't have to say anything. How the hell do you get all the freaks."

"Man, she isn't a freak!" He laughs at me. "Serious dude, you guys fucked around in a restaurant bathroom, she's a freak. Bet she's fun in bed too!" I punch him in the arm a little harder then necessary. "Were done talking about her." I tell him with my cold voice. "Ok, ok." He turns to play his shot. Is she a freak. I mean we fucked outside at the top of The Lookout, down at the waterfall, now on a counter in the classroom. She definitely doesn't mind outdoors. Ok, maybe she is a bit of a freak, and boy would I love to explore what she would do if I could get her in a normal bed. _Shit._ Stop thinking about this. I have to calm down before my thoughts show in my fucking pants.

I sit down at the tall table and drink my rum and coke. After the crazy day I had today I need something strong. Paulo agreed to take it easy so he can drive, but only if I spill about what happened today. I swear his excitement over my sex life is just ridiculous. Have managed to give him very little detail about Danielle and I but he keeps bothering me more and more. Especially after I told him she went down on me in the bathroom. Fuck that was hot and completely unexpected. If I didn't know any better I would have never guessed that it was the first time she had done that. I didn't even have to ask, I am really hopeful that she is going to be willing to try other things. There is so much more I want to do to her. Paulo smacks my shoulder and I adjust my pants as he sits next to me.

"Man you really got to either stop thinking about your girl or tell me why you carry around a permanent hard on all the time these days. She must be doing something right." I laugh at the thought. "Shit man, she does just about everything right." She really does. She is strong and smart and beyond talented. "That is what I am talking about, but please really need start by telling me what the hell Lynn's problem is."

"Dude that could take a fucking life time." I raise my glass to the waitress to get another one and she nods at me. He laughs. "Ok, how about just telling me what happened today." I shake my head I might as well tell him, besides have to tell someone, it might as well be him. "She figured out that I am with Dani. Apparently she didn't like that I no longer want her as a fuck buddy." He chuckles. "That explains alot, and the hard on you were trying to hide from your girl?"

"Dude I hadn't gotten any in two weeks and I just got done taking a fucking cold shower. Then Lynn grabs me next to my shit, what the hell do you expect. Of course, Lynn had to goes and throw it in Dani's face and talking all sorts of shit. Dani got pissed off at me because of Lynn's esentric behavior, again, and I was done with Lynn and her fucking games. I needed to prove my point to Danielle so I had her go in the extra classroom so she could hear me tell off Lynn, and I told Lynn I am done with her completely." I pause to take a drink. _Shit._ Here goes nothing, "And?" Paulo prompts.

"And then I went back next door and fucked her on the counter ensuring Lynn heard it. I got rid of Lynn for good and fucked the shit out of my girl which I had been dying to do for two weeks, two birds, one stone." I shrug my shoulders but just thinking about it is making me hard again. Fuck what am I fourteen again. "You fucking liar, she did not let you." A big grin appears on my face and I down the rest of my drink. "Oh, yes she did, right after I got my desert." He spits out his beer. "Dude, you fucking serious?"

Crystal brings my rum and coke and I drop some money on the table. Let him try to beat that. "And for the record, I will kill you if she finds out I told you." He takes a drink of his beer. "I swear you guys fuck in the craziest places." Yes we do, but that is part of the fun, I guess she is a freak but I sure in the hell don't mind. I look at him with a smirk on my face. "We really don't have much of a choice, but with all honestly it is fucking hot."

"Did Lynn see you guys?" I don't fucking know. I was too busy enjoying my girl tightening around me as she moaned my name. " I heard the door of her room slam shut so I am pretty certain she did besides, Dani is pretty loud when I don't keep her quiet, it would be pretty hard for her not to know what was going on even if she didn't see." Paulo shakes his head exasperation, but then his face falls.

"Speak of the devil." I follow his eyes and see Lynn walking in with two of the local guys. _Great._ "Oh God, please keep her away from me tonight." I am not in the mood for her shit. Why the hell didn't she go home? I find Crystal's eyes again and let her know I need another one, as I down another drink. The guys finish their game and Paulo and I get up to to play Sean and Eddie. "I break." Sean says. I give him a nod and we start our game.

By our third game I have had several more drinks. Thankfully Lynn has kept her distance despite looking at me all the time, and the way she is hanging on that guy, I am thinking she is trying to make me jealous. Yeah fucking right, I ain't got no reason to be nor would I ever even if I wasn't with Dani. Lynn likes sex more than me. She once told me about that she had an orgy with seven other people, that is pushing beyond even my boundaries. I am not one to judge considering her and I have had a few threesomes but her need for sex is almost unattractive. Almost. Her willingness to do some of the more creative things is the only reason I keep messing around with her. She was just a distraction. Now that I have my beautiful little princess, she is all I need.

I am not quite sure how many drinks I have had, but things are getting a little blurry sometimes. It has been a long time since I drank so heavily. Crystal comes over to me but brings me a Corona this time. I give her a strange look. "Come on Eric, time to slow down a bit sweetie." I roll my eyes at her. _Fine._ I pull out a five dollar bill and give it to her.

"We got next." I turn around and see Lynn's two little pony boys. _Great_. One of which is hanging all over Lynn who is in a tiny skirt and skimpy tank top. Man she can be such a slut sometimes. But then again so am I so who am I to judge. "Its cool we have to bounce. I got to work in the morning." Eddie tells them. Sean comes over to shake my hand, "Take care of you sweet little thing bro." I laugh at him and I notice Lynn giving him a dirty look and turns walking back to the bar. "I fully intend too." They head out as Paulo racks a new game.

I break sinking in a stripe. I am obviously not that drunk as I seem to be playing fine. "So you guys work with Lynn huh?" Paulo looks at me. "Yeah." Lynn makes her way over back over to us with drinks for her two little friends. "Hey Paulo, Eric, can I get you guys anything?"

"We are fine." I quickly cut her off. I came here to relax, not deal with her psychotic ass. "Clearly." She says all whinny. She really should really stop, whinny is not her. "That's ok sweetness, you just sit your cute little but over there and watch us win this game." Her little friend says as he kisses her sloppily. I have to look away, it is disgusting, that kid has no game. "So what do you guys do?" The other kid ask.

"We are instructors, we teach delinquents how to behave and function in society." Paulo says like it is a normal job. "Oh yeah, we all know what Eric is _teaching_ his students these days, I wasn't aware there was a sex ed class." I glare at her. She just doesn't give up does she. I try to ignore her. "Basically we get to work out all the time and get paid to do it. Can't beat a job like ours." I say simply. "Plus we get to have a little fun in the process." Paulo adds. Lynn laughs, "Seems like Eric is adding in all kinds of personal fun, this time around." My anger is rising at her petty comments.

"Lynn fucking quit it already, you don't need to be such a fucking whinny bitch. It really doesn't suit you." Hopefully she will shut up now. "Hey dude, you don't need to be so rude to her." The guy she has been hanging on to stands up a little straighter. Paulo immediately positions himself between us. "Hey dude if you want fuck her go ahead, it is an easy score, but I suggest you back off him now." Lynn grabs the kids arm, "What the hell Paulo, I ain't walking on egg shells because Eric is getting all bent out of shape over his little fucking toy."

"Lynn you need to shut your fucking mouth about her, right now." I warn her, my patience for her has ran out. "What's the matter Eric, you know it is never going to work anyway."

"Your just jealous you little hoe that she satisfies me in ways you never could." The guy takes another step forward. "I said you need to fucking leave her alone." I don't need this little shit attitude either. "Dude I can't help that your little date over there is too hung up on my shit. Don't be surprised if she calls out my name when you fuck her later." I laugh and he lunges at me but Paulo catches him and pushes him back. "Bad idea dude." Paulo tells him. "Fuck you, I ain't afraid of some muscle bond ass hole that has no respect for women." I laugh, "Oh, I have respect for women, just not that one."

"Clearly this idiot is delusional. Lets fucking go Paulo." I say with a laugh and down the rest of my beer. We go outside and I stubble a little as I step along the curb. I guess I am a little more drunk than I meant to get. "Fuck dude, I left my jacket in there. I will be right back." I give him a nod as I lean against the stop sign. I look up at the stars, just like with Danielle that night. God she invades my head almost every minute of every day. What the hell has she done to me? I close my eyes and I can see her beautiful green eyes looking up at me with that cute smile on her face.

Oh fuck. I am stubbing forward. I turn around to see who the fuck just pushed me. It is the big mouth and his friend. "What's the matter ass hole, can't fight without your friend." He says to me. His friend standing behind him drinking his beer and laughing. "Trust me, you don't want this. Go back in to the little hoe. Don't worry, she'll give it up to anyone." He lunges at me and I let him hit me once to get my adrenaline flowing before I push him back on the ground. He jumps back up and hits me in the side. Damn, this alcohol is making me slow. He hits me again in the same spot. I focus as the adrenaline starts flowing and he lands another in my other side. Fuck this kids actually hits pretty hard.

I am focus and let loose on him and start punching him in the face. He is down after two hits but I keep going. Teach this little fucker to mess with me. His buddy suddenly tackles me. I get up quickly and he looks at me crazy and as he picks up the bottle he dropped and broke on the ground. Is this kid fucking for real? What is this a fucking movie. He tries to hit me with it and misses. I see Lynn coming out of the bar and running over to her friend on the ground. It distracts me just enough that the kid I am fighting swings and I feel something warm on my chest pissing me off more.

I kick the bottle out of his hand and land one that connects perfectly with his jaw. He falls back and Paulo grabs me before I can go after him. "Dude, stop, come on." I shake him off pissed off that this fool had the nerve to pull a broken bottle on me. He fucking cut me with a fucking bottle stupid mother fucker. "Get the fuck off me, this dude want a fight, I will show him." A few other guys coming out of the bar get in my way. I know them but I can't think of their names, all I know is these two fools over there need a fucking lesson in ass whoopin. "Eric dude enough, they have had enough." One of the guys holding me says but I am not ready to quit, they started it and I will finish it.

"Get him in my car." Paul tells them as he helps the guys drag me and put me in Paulo's car. "Paulo let me the fuck out of this car, I will show them who the fuck they are messing with, who do they think they are." He starts up the car and quickly pulls away before I can get back out.

"Dude you need to calm down. I need to get you to the hospital." He is speeding down the highway. "Don't you fucking dare take me to a hospital, I am fucking serious. They will call the cops and I am not doing that shit. Just let me out here and I can go back to fucking deal with those dumbasses."

"I will not, if you won't let me take you to a hospital I am calling Marlene and you are going to at least let her look at you." He pulls out his phone and calls her. "I said I am fucking fine. Let me out of this car Paulo right fucking now!." I hear him say something about Zeke and Four but I am not sure what. My adrenaline is still pumping and I just want to go back and finish teaching those kids a fucking lesson, no one fucks with me, no one! I will fucking walk back from camp, they can't stop me.

We pull into the camp and Four and Zeke are outside. "Paulo you fucking asshole. I am fine and I can deal with this shit myself." I get out of the car. "No you can't, you are drunk and not thinking straight, lets go inside."

"I don't fucking need to, I am fine, leave me the fuck alone." I feel Four and Zeke grab my arms. "I said get the fuck off me." They are dragging me backward toward camp. I twist and pull, throwing them on ground almost getting away until Paulo joins in dragging me into the infirmary. "Keep him here!" Paulo yells as he takes off, mumbling something to Marlene on his way. This is fucking crazy, they can't keep me here.

 **End Flashback**

At least Paulo skipped our conversation about her. Marlene puts a large bandage over the long cut that has to be at least six inches long. Now that the alcohol and adrenaline are running out of me, I am starting to realize how stupid I was being. This is why I don't get really drunk. _Shit,_ I never wanted Danielle to see me like this. I am ashamed of myself, this is the old Eric.

"There you go. You need to take good care of that for the next few days." Marlene says and I nod. "Cameras are off in here. Stay as long as you need, I am going back to bed." I look up at her and she lays a hand on Paulo's shoulder and they share a look before she walks out. "You good man?" Paulo ask. "I'm good. Sorry about that shit." He shrugs. It isn't the first time I have gotten into a fight and had to have him pull me away. He knows me pretty well. I just needed time to calm down and come to my senses. "I'll be outside if you need me." He leaves closing the door.

It is only us now. I look up at her and she is staring down at the bloody shirt that is on the bed next to me as she chews the inside of her cheek. I know she is thinking she made a mistake being with me. I never wanted her to see me like this. I am a fucking monster. We sit there in silence for several minutes until I can't stand it. I need to hear her voices.

"You mad at me?" I ask her. She finally looks at me. "Mad at you, no." _Really_. "I am more sad and upset that I wasn't there to beat her ass myself." I shake my head. "That is illogical for you to want to be there, but I am sorry that I am behind your sadness. I told you that I am not good for you."

"Eric stop, you are drunk, some guy got on your nerves, you walked away and they came at you. You fought back. Christ one tried to cut you open. How the hell is this your fault?" I don't answer her because I am not sure how to. "We all have weaknesses remember. I mean do you remember why the hell I am here. Its just when I came in and saw you like that. I got, anxious and i don't like feeling that way. I didn't know how bad you were hurt and I was worried that you may not be ok."

She gets up and comes to sit next to me. "Eric I don't want to lose you, I don't know what I would do if something happened to you. I love you." I close my eyes. This is my sweet, sweet girl. Hearing her say 'I love you' is the best thing in my world. My heart rate picks up and I get that warm fuzzy feeling again. I wish so much that I could love her back, but I don't know how to. I didn't even realize I could care about someone so much until I met her. I just want to hold her. "Come here." I tell her and pull her down to lay with me draping my arm over her stomach. "I don't want to lose you either. I know I don't deserve you, but I never what to lose you."

"Eric don't say that. You deserve someone that will care for you and love you. If anything I don't deserve you. I pull her into a hug trying to ignore the pain in my chest. Why does she never see herself as the beautiful, loving, smart women she is. "Stay with me babe, please." I close my eyes suddenly over come with exhaustion and I hear her whisper as I fall into a dreamless sleep.

"Always."

* * *

 **So what did you think. Hopefully that answered a few questions. And don't let any guy tell you he doesn't talk to his friends about his sex life because it is a lie. I am a guy friend kind of girl and I could probably write another story about all the things they talk about. Anyway, let me know what you think. I am dying to know how you guys liked Eric's POV. Until next time!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey Everyone. I didn't have time to post this in the morning but it is still here. Thank you so much for all the comments. They are as great as ever, I love hearing you guys feedback. Well Enjoy!**

 **To clarify: There is a cadet named Steven and her brother is also named Steven.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 32:**

 _(Wednesday August 5th)_

 _"Code red, all cadets remain in the dorm. Camp is on lockdown until further notice. Code red, all cadets remain in the dorm. Camp is on lockdown until further notice. "_

I jump at the repeating computer message from my alarm clock. "What the fuck!" I shout. It is too fucking early. I look over at the clock and it is only four in the morning. I sit up in bed and look around seeing the others doing it as well.

Paulo and Eric come running through our dorm half dressed in pant and boots carrying their shirts in their hands. "There all here, its not them. Don't you guys leave this dorm." Eric shouts as they run out. I have not idea what the hell they meant but I did see relief on his face when he saw I was still in bed. I didn't have time to ask him what was going on, but I have an idea.

"What's going on?" Jeff ask rubbing his eyes. "Well my best guess is someone got out. Although I am not sure how that happened unless they managed to get the bracelet off. Honestly the two I really care about are still in bed on either side of me so I am going back to bed." I say and lay back down just as Royce comes in. "Hey is John in here?" There is an echo's of no's and our questions are answered. "How the hell did he get out?" Royce ask but I am not sure if it is to himself or us. No one answers.

I have played with my tracker a few times and I couldn't see anyway to possibly get it off. The first week I was here, I pulled at it with all my might and it didn't even budge. Will has been very diligent in making sure it was nice and tight every week. He has had to tighten mine several times as body has been changing. But I have noticed John is extremely smart. He doesn't say a whole lot but when he does, you can tell he knows what he is talking about. He mentioned once about getting in trouble for hacking a police server. He is here on an assault charge but I guess this was the first time he got in trouble for that. I wouldn't put it pass him to have figured it out.

Royce comes over and sits at the foot of my bed. _What the hell._ I give him a hard look but he ignores me. I really just want to go to bed but others from the other dorm start coming in and making themselves comfy and everyone starts speculating how John managed to get away. Royce tells me that Four and Zeke came in and all he heard was cursing from from Four.

* * *

Two hours later Eric comes in through our dorm and everyone is still just sitting around talking. He is sweaty, covered in dirt and has a cut on his forehead near his hairline. "All you fucking get dressed and be outside in five minutes." He looks extremely pissed and doesn't even look at me on his way through. I am really curious now to what happened. I get up and get dressed and we go out to the stage.

Only Zeke and Paulo are out there and they already look like they have worked out. Something tells me they were all chasing after John, I am not quite sure how they would be able to find him. This property is huge and there are about 50 different trails. We have only covered some of them but Eric told me there are tons that we will never see. There is really no way.

I look around and I still see no sign of Four. We line up and Paulo gets up on stage. "Obviously this hasn't been a typical morning. This morning John took it upon himself to try to leave without permission, thinking we are actually stupid enough to only rely on your trackers. The trackers really just make our jobs easier. Remember this cadets we have back up plans for our back up plans. Anything you could possibly think of has already been prepared for. If I have to give this speech again you will all be sorry. Everyone will run ten laps and then go get ready for breakfast. Zeke track their laps." Zeke nods at him and then we all go over to the path to start running. I really hate being out of the loop. I decide to sprint all ten laps. Maybe if I can catch Eric alone I can find out what's going on.

I finish my laps way ahead of everyone. Zeke looked at me weird when I counted off my 10th lap to him and he dismissed me to the dorm. I go inside and it is all quiet. I go into the bathroom and someone is in the shower so I decide to peak in the instructors dorms. I crack to door open and I see Paulo sitting at his desk with his back to me. "Is there something I can help you with?" Eric scares the shit out of me as he comes out of the shower. His voice is low and I can tell he is still pissed. My eyes find the cut on his head and it looks a little deep. I walk over to him and he gets stiff so I stop. "What do you need?" He ask coldly.

"I, uh, just wanted to be sure everything was ok." He rolls his eyes. "Its fine." He seems so closed off. He doesn't normally do this to me. At least not the last few weeks. My eyes flint back to cut on his head. "There is nothing you need to know _cadet_ now go about your business." _Ouch_ , What the hell did I do. I can't say that didn't hurt. He takes a deep breath, his pissed off look not breaking, and walks around me and into his dorm.

I decided to take a quick shower before breakfast. I go and grab some clean cloths. Eric has seemed a bit off since his little drunken escapade. After he had fallen asleep Paulo came in to check on him. He told me that Eric has a reputation around town for being a fighter but that it really wasn't his fault this time. He really didn't have to try to convince me. I knew when they had explained it that he had try to do the right thing. I had been so frightened when I walked in and saw his blood soaked shirt. At first I was pissed at Paulo for not taking him to the hospital but when Marlene said he was ok, the anger went away and I only had concern. The police had showed up the next day and questioned him. Apparently one of the guys was hospitalized with head injuries and his friend insisted that Eric had done it unprovoked but their was another witness that saw the other kid start it.

Max was furious at Eric for not telling him before the police showed up. When they left, he called Eric into his office and ever since then Eric seems to have this edge. I just can't put my finger on what it is. Obviously today was too much for him to deal with. I swear this man has more mood swings than a damn woman. I really haven't seen him a whole lot the last few days but when I do he seems different. I tried to ask him yesterday what was going on but after a moment, he just kissed me hard and I dropped it. I get the feeling he isn't telling me something but I don't want to push him, he will tell me when he is ready. I just need to be patient with him.

I head out to breakfast with the Jeff and Patrick and after getting our breakfast, we sit down. Paulo and Zeke join us but Eric is no were in site. Paulo doesn't seem to be in a good mood either but I take a chance. "Hey Paulo, is everything ok." He looks at me and I hope he sees my concern. "Its fine." Urg, is that all I am going to get out of them today? I look around and then back at my food. "What happened to Eric's head?" I try to make it sound like pure curiosity, but when I look back up and can't keep the worry off my face. Paulo takes a deep breath. "John took him by surprise and tackled him to the ground, they rolled down a shallow ravine. Eric is usually much more aware. I don't think I have ever seen someone take him down like that. He put it to an end quick but he is pretty pissed at himself. He has been distracted lately and it has affected his performance." _Shit._ It is me; It is my fault. He is not concentrating on his job because I have been distracting him. I guess that explains his coldness toward me earlier.

I have suddenly lost my appetite. I excuse my self the the table and Paulo's lips tighten into a line and Jeff looks at me with concern. He offers to come with me but I tell him I want to be alone and he nods but his concern remains on his face.

When I get out side I see John out there running laps and Eric is standing in the center yelling at him that he will be doing this all day. I see a bruise on John's cheek and I wonder if Eric did that or if he got it when he tackled Eric. Eric's eyes find mine but the emotion in them is unreadable. After a second, he goes back to barking at John.

I head back to the dorm and grab my Ipod before going out to the bonfire pit. I turn on my music and I try to work this shit out in my head. For the first time I am thinking Eric and I should rethink our relationship while I am in here. We have to hide it just to keep him from getting in trouble. Now he is not doing his job effectively because I am distracting him. What if John had really hurt him? He could have had a weapon or something and Eric didn't come back. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to him because of me.

My chest tightens at that thought. I never really thought about it until the other night when I seen him all bloodied and now for the second time in three days he has gotten hurt. Maybe we should put our relationship on hold for a few weeks until I am done and out of here. I don't want to do it but I really can't just think about me. I can't be selfish, this is Eric's livelihood. How would he feel toward me if he lost his job because of me. Maybe he needs to focus on himself for a while. As much as this hurts me, it is what is best for him and what happens to him right now is more important than my feelings. I have to do this, for him. This is what is right.

* * *

Eric has spent the better part of the day making John run laps and do push-ups and sit-ups. I honestly am not sure how John is still going. Other than the fact that he has had Eric yelling his his face the whole time, dragging him up, pushing him back down all morning and afternoon, only stopping for him to drink water and eat a protein bar. Eric has even missed his classes and lunch. I am not sure how but he still looks just as pissed as he did this morning.

I sit down to eat dinner trying to figure out how I am going to tell Eric we should take a break so he can focus on his work. Something tells me he isn't going to take it very well. Just as Paulo is about to sit down he gets a text and leaves the dinning hall leaving his tray there. I look out the window and Paulo walks over to the middle of the court yard where it looks like John is laying on the ground. I see him and Eric both pick him up and carry him toward the infirmary. Wow, a little harsh isn't it. He ran him into complete exhaustion.

Paulo comes back a few minutes later shaking his head as he sits down and starts eating. I want to ask him but a second look at him and I decide against it. I see Eric walk past the mess haul. He must be going to the gym which means he is still upset. I really didn't eat much for Lunch and I haven't eaten any of my dinner but I am not hungry anyway. I get up silently and put my tray away and head to the gym, grateful that Jeff doesn't question me.

When I get in the gym, Eric is already pounding away at the bags. He is still upset, just giving me more resolve that what I am doing is right. I put on a pair of gloves and go over to join him. As I walk up next to him, he pauses for a second before resuming is ruthless blows to the bag. I start punching the bag next to him, taking in deep breaths to get the courage to do this. It takes several minutes before I can talk and my chest is tight.

"Eric, are you ok." I keep my voice low and hope the camera doesn't pick it up. He keeps punching but I see him close his eyes for moment. "I am fine. I fucked up. I just need to figure this shit out." I knew it. I have to do this. "Eric, I think we should take a break." My voice comes out barely a whisper and if wasn't for him freezing, I would have thought he didn't hear me. "Why would you say that?" He says quietly but doesn't look at me.

 _Do it._ "I'm not good for you." I am trying hard to keep breathing but the tightening is getting worse. That isn't what I mean to say but it works the same. He turns to me with shock on his face. "Your joking right." I hear the anger. I finally stop punching and look at him. "Look, we both know your work is suffering and it is because you are distracted." He just huffs, "And you don't think I don't know that. I have heard that shit enough lately, I surely don't need you to point it out too." So he isn't denying it. "And it is because of me, and I refuse to be the cause."

"What the fuck are you talking about" His voice is still low but he is getting more angry. "Look, I care about you Eric and I am not letting you throw away everything you have for me. I am not worth it." He is stunned. I turn around and start to leave, I need to get out of here before I can't control the tears that are threatening to spill over. He runs over to me and catches me before I can get out the door. "Don't I get a fucking say in this." I can't look at him, I will lose all my resolve. "No." Is all I can get out and shake his hand off my arm leaving him there frozen in place. _He didn't deny it._

I take several deep breaths once I get outside but it isn't helping, I can't breath. I run out to the fire pit and sit on the logs. _I did it_. I did the right thing, this is the right thing. I punch the log but I still have gloves on. I take them off quickly and hit the log hard several times. The pain in my hand is a welcome pull away from the pain in my heart. I have never felt pain like this in my life. _Breath._ All the physical pain I have been through and none of it even comes close. _Breath._ I hit the log a several more times. Pulling in the air through my nose and out my mouth between each hit, using the pain to get through the horrible pain in my heart.

He didn't come after me. He must know I am right. I am right, I am not worth it. I put in my ear buds and drowning my thoughts away.

* * *

We are almost through evening P.T. and I have managed not to cry but my hand is killing me. I am having a hard time doing up-downs and I almost couldn't do push ups at all. Eric is as pushes all of us as hard as ever as he shouts out to us from the stage. He is still pissed off and his cold stare keeps finding mine. I try not to look at him. Every time I do I feel the tightening come back.

"Everyone except Dani is dismissed." He barks out and everyone leaves exhausted. _Shit_. I don't want to talk to him. I just stand still, shoving my hands into my pockets and look at the ground until I feel him right in front of me, his boots coming into view. "What did you do to your hand?" He questions me coldly and I am suddenly grateful that I subconsciously was trying to hide it from him.

"I'm fine." I say deciding to give him a bit of his own medicine. "Danielle, you just struggled to do a workout I know you are more than capable of keeping up with, don't fucking lie to me." He hisses at me, his anger is showing again. "It's no longer you concern." I whisper. I hate this, I want to look at him so bad but I just can't. I hear him huff, "No matter what, I am your instructor, it is my concern, now fucking tell me." _Or what?_ I just stand there and suddenly he yanks on my wrist pulling my hand out of my pocket. "Ow," I can't help the yelp that escapes my mouth and I clinch my teeth as pain shoots up my hand.

I hear his sharp in take of breath. He examines my hand gently turning it in his own. It is completely black and blue and my knuckles are all bloody and swollen. His breathing picks up. "What the fuck is wrong with you." He whispers. _Everything._ I don't answer him. "Fucking answer me." He shouts at me and I jump at his sudden outrage, squeezing my eyes shut. I feel his hands still holding mine freeze. I feel him take several deep breaths."Fucking hell. Go see Marlene _now._ That is a fucking order." He hisses quietly, he's furious. He releases my hand, fisting them at his side and I turn, heading for the infirmary before he can say anything else.

"Fuck!" I hear him yell quietly to himself and I quickly glance back seeing him pulling his hair, staring at the ground.

I go into the infirmary and Marlene is at her desk. She looks up at me. "Hey Dani." She starts to say cheerfully but her expression falls when she sees my face. I look over and the door to the room is closed. "What's up?" She ask carefully. I look at her, "I was ordered to get my hand looked at." I show her my hand. "Oh shit. Come sit."

We go over to sit on the couch. She begins to feel around my hand and I flinch several times as she applies pressure. "So what did you hit and why?" I look up at her. "How do you know I hit something?" I ask skeptically. She just huffs, "You don't have any broken bones, it looks like a boxer's fracture. It is what happens when you don't punch with proper form or you punch too hard. So what was it cause is sure did a number on your skin." I knew this much. "The log out at the fire pit."

She gets up and gets into her cabinets. "I am going to need to clean your hand up. So now can you tell me why?" I shake my head. "I don't want to talk about it." She gives me a long hard look. She comes back over and sits down. "Fine, but if you need someone to talk to, I am hear ok?" I nod my head and she seems satisfied. She hands me two pills and water. "Ibuprofen. You need to come see me to get some more. I can give them to you every six hours. If it is after lights out, just ask one of the instructors to come get it for you. I need to clean these cuts, it is going to hurt."

I just shrug my shoulders and take the pills, then let her clean my hand. It hurts like a bitch but I don't care. When she is done she wraps my hand. "Take it easy with your hand for the next few days, and come see me anytime." I give her one last nod and then go back to the dorm.

As soon as I get inside I throw my sweater on even though it is still pretty warm out. I don't want Jeff to see it, but he walks in from the bathroom just as I am putting it on and he catches a glimpse of my wrapped hand. I turn and go right back outside not really sure where I am going, but start heading out to the fire pit which is becoming my sanctuary. He follows me out and stops me by grabbing my arm as I hit the path.

"What the fuck did you do?" He is pissed. _Great_. "Jeff, I am fine, I need some time." He shakes his head, he isn't going to let me off easy like normal. "Bullshit, this," he grabs my arm and pulls back my sleeve, "is not fine. What the hell happened. You haven't hardly eaten all day, and you have been sitting out at that fire pit. You wanted alone time, I gave it to you. Now it is time to explain."

"There is nothing to explain, just let me be." I try to turn and walk away but he pulls me back. "No, not this time. Dani, hurting yourself isn't the fucking answer. I am not going to watch you start doing this shit again." Great, he had to throw that in my face. It pisses me off and I huff at him. "Says the person who just opened up his veins," That was really low blow but right now I just want out of here. I turn and walk away and he just stands there frozen. That is the second time I have left a man I care about speechless today.

I don't get to far before I hear Jeff shout, "What the fuck did you do to her?" I turn around and Jeff is getting in Eric's face who seems to be on his way to the gym again. _Shit._ "Who the hell do you think you are talking to?" Crap, I can't let this happen. I turn around and rush back to them. "I am talking to the asshole who obviously did something to piss off my best friend to the point she is hurting herself again." Eric body gets ridged and a confused look crosses his face. I can see this is going to end badly. After a moment he takes a step forward. "I didn't fucking do anything to her, she is the one who has fucking flipped out." He pushes Jeff and just as Jeff goes back to push him back I jump in between them placing a hand on each of their chest. "Fucking enough." Eric freezes under my hand and my heart leaps out of my chest. "Jeff fucking let this shit be. I am a grown ass woman." He looks at my injured hand on his chest, and looks up into my eyes. "Clearly," He says between his clenched teeth. He turns and walks back toward the dorm. I look back toward Eric without looking at his face. Both his hands go to grab my that is still resting over his heart and I drop it immediately and he freezes again. I hesitate for a moment then walk toward the field without another word and again he doesn't follow.

* * *

I wake up sweating and out of breath, my skin still crawling. I had another nightmare, at least I didn't wake anyone this time. I pull myself up against my headboard, grabbing my legs, pulling them tight to my chest, trying to calm myself down. I hear something and I see Eric standing in the doorway to the bathroom. I look back down at my knees. I want nothing more then to have him come sit with me but i can't do that. I have to stick with my choice. He walks over and sits at me feet. "Here" he tries to hand me some pills that I am fairly certain are Ibuprofen. I shake my head. "Danielle stop being fucking difficult and just take them." He sounds almost sad. I take a deep breath. My hand is hurting really bad. I put out my good hand and he sets them in my hand letting is finger linger on my palm a second more then is normal and he gives me a glass of water.

I take them and hand him back the glass. I still can't look up at his face. I want to jump into his lap right now and I have to do the right thing. I have to be the stronger person. He tries to grab my hand but I pull it back. "Eric don't. I need to go to bed, let me be." I barely get it out. He takes several deep breaths and then stands walking back to the door. I can feel the tears pooling in my eyes. He stops, "I don't know what the hell is going on, but when you are ready to talk I am here." He sounds so defeated and I can't stop the tears as they begin streaming down my face watching him walk out.

For the first time since I made up my mind I wonder if what I am doing is right. I don't know how something that is so right can hurt so bad. I have to be strong, for him. I can't let him throw it all away, not for me. I lay down and silently cry myself to sleep.

* * *

 **So what did you think. I know crazy but love makes people see and think crazy things. Even if they may be stupid, she believes she is doing it all for him. Stay tuned as stuff gets a little crazier. Let me know what you think. Until next time!**


	33. Chapter 33

**I just love you guys. I love all the reviews and comments and I love that everyone likes this story so much. It is so exciting reading them so keep them coming. Here is the next chapter for you. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 33:**

 _(Sunday August 9th)_

 _Fuck!_ I really need to find a way to stop having these fucking nightmares. I am soaking wet. I breath in and out deeply to slow my heart rate. That is everyday since I broke it off with Eric. He is back to being cryptic. He went from being moody to just being pissy twenty-four seven. It is starting to irritate the shit out of me. He stares at me all the time like he doesn't care who sees. The tension between him and Jeff is also back. I have tried to explain it to Jeff that this was my choice but he doesn't seem to believe me. At least Eric has given me my space although Paulo has tried to talk to me several times but I just blow him off telling him it is between Eric and I.

The alarms go off and I take a deep breath before getting out of bed and getting ready. Eric has been on everyone hard since Wednesday. Yesterday we had extra P.T. because someone's bed wasn't made 'properly', so I make sure we all do it to his standards. My hand still hurts but I really haven't been taking it as easy as I should be mostly due to the welcoming pain that it provides. I looked at it last night and the coloring is still pretty bad, I thought about leaving off the wrap but I changed my mind when I looked over and anger appeared on Jeff's face as he saw my hand unwrapped for the first time since I messed it up. The less he has to see how bad it is the better off I am. He is back to sticking close to me again but I can tell he is upset with me.

We line up in front of the stage and Max starts talking. _Blah, blah, blah_. The rankings come up and I am in 1st. I huff because I was really working for that, but it was for a purpose I no longer want. Max takes his leave and we start in with our work out. I push myself hard wincing at the pain in my hand as we go. I glance over at John. He seems to be struggling as well. I found out he spent most of the evening and night in the infirmary Wednesday just to have Eric work him again until he collapsed on Thursday although it only took him until lunch to collapse and he returned to the infirmary. I guess Eric wanted to make a point. He finally joined us again on Friday morning looking completely ragged still.

I sat with him for a while yesterday evening while we were doing our homework. He told me Eric threatened another two days if he tells us how he got the bracelet off. He also told me that he made it several miles outside of camp before they caught him. He figured the only way he was getting out was to take down Eric. I shook my head at him. It was not very well thought out and the one punch Eric made to his face knocked him out. He didn't remember anything else until they were dragging him back into camp.

He has a new bracelet on now and something tells me no one is trying that again. We finish and Eric dismisses everyone and calls me and Mike up to the front. Jeff hesitates beside me for a moment. Protective as ever. "I will be fine Jeff." He looks from me to Eric. "Fine but I will be right inside." I roll my eyes at him and he walks away as Eric eyes him.

He lets Mike pick first and he takes the Ipod. Several of us have them now so they have become a common thing. Eric dismisses him after he tells him to come by later. He hands me the list and my eyes immediately fall to the Skype. I want to talk to my brother. Maybe he can help me feel better. I notice Eric is chewing the inside of his cheek looking down at my injured hand.

"I want to Skype my brother please." I say quietly handing him back his tablet. He lets out a sigh. "I will get it cleared." He says quietly. I turn and leave quickly before he can say anything else.

* * *

"Dani, I have your brother on for you." I look up to see Paulo standing in front of me. I manage a half smile and gather my books off the grass where I am working beside Jeff. "Tell him I said hi," Jeff tells me. "Me too," Patrick chimes in. "Will do." I follow Paulo into Tori's office which also doubles as the main office. As we walk in I see Eric sitting in front of the computer. "Here she is." He says to the monitor and gets up and walks out, his eyes not meeting mine. "You got thirty minutes. I will be back when your time is up." Paulo tells me. I give him a nod and he leaves as I go over to the desk.

I see my brother on the screen. "Taking your time are you?" He says and I force a smile on my face. "Hey kid, how you going?" I ask. "Same shit, different day. Nothing has really changed much since I saw you, but I hear you have been busy." My eyebrows pull together. "Really, and where did you hear that?"

"So is that what you were avoiding telling me when I was there?" Eric did not tell him. Seriously, why would he do that? "Did you talk to Eric before I came in here?" He pauses for a second. "I did, and he told me something that I would have much rather heard from you." I give him an apologetic look. "Sorry, I just didn't know how you would react. You have always been really protective. I started to write you a letter a few times but I figured this may be a better way. Obviously someone beat me to the punch." I can't keep the irritation out of my voice. I can't believe Eric did that. Why would he do that when I broke things off? "Well I was kinda excited for you. I was beginning to wonder if you liked guys at all." He looks at me pointedly. "Ha ha ha. Your hilarious."

"No seriously what is going on though. He said you guys were happy and then you just broke it off. Why would you do that sis? Were you not happy? Did he do something to you?" His lips press into a line. "No it wasn't like that." I stop his thoughts right there before he gets mad. "I was really happy." I try to hold back my tears. "Why then, I don't get it? You deserve to be happy, you know that right?" I take a deep breath and look down at my hands. "I know, I want to be happy, but not at his expense." He looks at me crazy. "And how does that work."

"He was risking everything by being with me. He lives for this job, it is the only accomplishment in his life he is actually proud of. I can't let him lose it because of me." I look up and he is looking at me in disbelief. "Something tells me he doesn't quite see it that way." Confusion crosses my mind. "Why, what did he tell you?"

"He wants to be with you Dani. Maybe you should actually talk to him, it seems he really cares about you." I shake my head. "He tell you that too?" He gives a quick huff. "Seriously, he didn't have to. I knew there was something between you to from the moment I came to visit you and he was shooting daggers at me with his eyes. At first I thought maybe he just liked you but when i saw the look you gave him and the way your eyes always seem to find him when he was around. I knew you really liked him. I was just waiting to see how long it took you to tell me. I knew you would in your own time. It is pointless to push you into things before your ready."

I lips press together in a line. "You know me well." His laugher fills my heart. "Which is why I am telling you just talk to him. If you have a chance to be happy then you take it." I raise my eyebrows at him. "So that is the only advice you have."

"What not good enough for you?" I laugh at him for a second before my face falls again. "I just don't know if I could live with myself if I end up ruining his life just so he can be with me." He taps on the screen as I look down to my hands. "You just need to think about it from all angles. You are a smart girl, start acting like it."

"Fuck off douche. I will think about it." I am done talking about this. "Anyways, Jeff and Patrick say hi. Business must have picked up for you in their absence. I sure hope your being careful, the last thing I want is to come home and see you in Jail." He smirks at me. "I am smarter than that, no offense to them. Anyway, I got to get going. I have some things to attend to." I see something cross his face. I smirk, as I realize for the first time, I do not recognize the background. "Something, or someone since you are clearly not at home." He looks off screen and his eyes shoot up before he looks back to me. "Hey, you are the only one looking for happiness."

"Yeah ok. Love you bro. See you soon." He gives me a quick wave. "Love you too, and I hope to see you in a better mood next time. Bye sis." An unforced smile grows on my face, "I will see what I can do. Bye kid, take care."

The screen goes black. I feel a little better but I still don't know what to do about Eric. I don't know what else there is for me to think about. I pick up my stuff and go back out to join Jeff and Patrick. Eric is sitting outside the gym watching me. I try to ignore his stares. "How'd it go?" Jeff ask and I sit back down next to him. "Good, he says hi." He didn't really but I want to be polite. He smiles at me and I settle in to get my work done.

* * *

I head to my session with Lynn. I have to admit I am a bit nervous. Not because I am afraid her or anything but because I am afraid for her. I am still pissed at the shit she pulled last week. I walk in and she doesn't meet me with her normal greeting. I go over and sit on the couch. I look at my nails picking at them.

"Hello Dani." She says smugly. "Lynn."

"So how's Eric?" My eyes fly up to meet hers. "Do you think you are being funny?" She shrugs, "I never meant for him to get hurt. I had no idea my date was going to do that." I roll my eyes. She really is a bit of a dumbass. "So I ranked first today. Why didn't you say anything about me walking out on you last week?" I have been curious about that all morning. She looks at me as darkness crosses her eyes. "I didn't have much of a choice."

"Just like you don't have a choice now." I turn to see Eric standing in the door way looking a little pissed. I look back at Lynn and her eyes light up at Eric. Get a fucking clue you idiot. "Lynn go next door, I need to talk to Dani." Her eyebrows shoot up. "You are kicking me out of my session with her so you can fuck your girlfriend. Hell fucking no." Eric look turns icy cold. "Lynn you have five seconds to leave this fucking room before I throw your ass out." His voice sends chills down my spine. She seems to ponder it for a second. "I swear if I hear you two fucking I am going straight to max." Eric rolls his eyes. "Get out." She gets up and goes through the door to the other room. He follows her and closes the door.

I stand up. "Eric I don't want to talk." He takes a deep breath. "You can't just keep ignoring your problems Dani." He says angrily. I do not ignore my problems. I may choose to bury them deep inside but I don't ignore them. I shake my head and start toward the door. I hear him sigh heavily behind me before hearing him cross the room after me. He grabs my waist. I freeze at his touch and he lets me go quickly, leaving a burn where his hands touched my stomach. I hear him take a step back from me but I still sense him standing behind me. I can't turn around to face him. I take deep breath. "Please just talk to me. I need to understand why you are so upset. This is killing me here." I flinch at his choice of words. He takes a half a step closer to me and I can feel his body heat radiating off him. "I miss you babe." He whispers in my ear without touching me.

My heart falls and tears pool in my eyes. "I need to know. Give me one good reason and I will leave you alone, I swear." I remember what my brother said. Maybe I owe him at least that much. "Eric I am screwing up your life." I whisper to him. I feel him huff behind me. "I can tell you right now that is bullshit." I shake my head because I know it is true. I turn around and look at him, no longer being able to resist.

"Eric, before you met me this was your life. This job, you love this job. It was all you had, it was what made you happy." His lips press into line. "Yes, I like this job and it made be happy to be here. It was the first time I felt accomplished. I have told you that. But that was before I met you."

"I am no one special Eric. I can't ask you to give up your whole life for me." His eyebrows pull together and he breathes deeply. "You are the most frustrating woman ever. Do you not see how much my life has changed since I met you. I don't wake up thinking about work, I wake up thinking about you. You are the only woman I have ever wanted to actually be with. How can you not understand that you make me happier than anything else in this world."

"Eric I want you to keep your job, you are happy with it. I don't want you to have to choose between me who you just met and a job you love that you have been at for years. And it is not just that, I am a distraction. Because of me you got hurt. "

"Are you not listening to me. I don't fucking care about this job, I care about you, only you. I would gladly march into Max's office right now and quit if it meant I could be with you again. Do I need to do that to prove it to you?" He looks into my eyes for a moment and then moves toward the door with intent in his eyes. I grab his arm and electricity shoots through me. He turns back toward me, "Dammit Danielle, I fucking need you." He grabs my face with both of his hands. "What do I have to do to make you understand." My resolve is faltering. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he needs me as much as I want him. I close my eyes to hold back my tears. "Please babe, be with me." He whispers and I can feel his lips mere inches from mine. I can't hold back anymore. I close the distance and kisses him as my tears begin to flow. He wraps his arms around me tight pulling me as close to him as possible as he deepens our kiss.

I have missed this so much. His touch electrifies me. Our tongues knot around each other until we have to breath. He leans is forehead against mine. "Sorry, I just didn't want you throwing your life away just for me." He takes a deep breath, "Babe, stop being so self depreciating, and I am not throwing my life away. I know I have been struggling lately, but I am just trying to find a balance in my life. Just give me a little time to get it figured out." I look down a little ashamed. How many times have I asked that same thing. I smile at him. "Take as much time as you need. Just please be more careful, it kills me to see you get hurt." He nods and pulls me into a tight hug. "Yeah, I know the feeling.

"No fucking way." Lynn shouts coming into the room. "What makes this fucking skank so special Eric. After everything we have done together why her?" She looks utterly furious and devastated at the same time. "I told you before Lynn, she reaches me on a level you never did, or anyone for that matter."

"And you would give up everything for her?" She spats. He just smiles. "Yes, yes I would." She turns and stomps out of the room.

I chuckle, "That one is going to be a problem still, you know that right?" I look up in his eyes and I can see he doesn't care. "Will you meet me behind the cabins after dinner." I look at him confused. "Or we could just go now?" He shakes his head at me. "You haven't been eating much, you need to eat. I have been so worried about you the last few days." He runs his fingers down my left arm to my injured hand and I see the sadness in his eyes. I close my eyes. Why do I always screw up everything? I almost let go the best thing that has ever happened to me and all because I had some stupid notion that he didn't need me in his life. "Ok, I will meet you after dinner."

He gives me another long hug and I nuzzle my face into his neck. "I got to go, I have a meeting with Max. Please go eat ok." I nod my head and he gives me one more gentle kiss.

* * *

I lean back against the cabin waiting for Eric. I tilt my head toward the sky and close my eyes. It is amazing how much lighter and happier I feel. It feels good. It feels right. My brother was right, I was being stupid. If our roles were reversed, I would choose Eric over a job any day. Suddenly I feel his presence. His arms wraps around me and he pulls down my chin a little so lips can meet mine. I smile on his lips. "I have missed that." I tell him. I feel the grumble in his chest. "Me too." He gives me another peck on my lips and then suddenly I am being pulled down in his lap. What the hell. He is sitting cross legged and I am sitting in his lap with my back to his chest.

"Um, what's going on." I turn my head to the side to look at him. "I thought maybe we could talk."

"Talk about what?" He breaths deeply. "What are your plans after you are done here?" I shrug. "I don't really know. I mean I have thought about it, but I figured we would need to talk about that."

"Would you want me to move to Chicago." I glare down at my hands. "Eric I just broke up with you because I don't want you to throw this job away. Your happy here. I don't want you to quit because of me." He takes another deep breath. "Would you consider moving here with me?" His voice is barely above a whisper. His whole body is tense waiting for my answer. I love him and I want to be with him. "Yes." His whole body relaxes and his arms tighten around me as he whispers in my ear, "Good."

"I don't know what I would do here though." He chuckles. "I think we can figure it out. Would you ever consider working here? We work kind of a crazy schedule and we don't really have to much of a social life." I shrug my shoulders. It wouldn't be so bad to work here, out in nature. "So where do you live when you are not working?" I ask. We don't talk about his life much. "I have a condo in Des Moines on the sound."

"Des Moines? In Iowa?" And I have no idea what 'the sound' is. He chuckles. "No, it is just south of Seattle on the Puget Sound." _Wow_. "That must be nice. You live on the water?" I can hear the smile in his voice. "Yep."

"Kind of expensive isn't it?" He feel his chest rumble under my back. "This job pays pretty well and half the year, I don't pay for clothes, food or utilities. The other six months I work at Amar's gym when he needs me to. I have actually built up quite the savings."

I have to ask him. I need to hear it. "Do you want me to move here?"

"I have never wanted anything more in my life, but I want you to be sure. I know leaving everything behind is not easy. I just want you to be happy, and I really hope you want to be happy with me." He kisses my head and my heart warms. "So will you move here with me?" He is holding his breath again and it makes me smile.

"Um, we'll see." I joke with him. He pinches me in my side and I jump. "Hmm, my little princess is ticklish." I immediately try to jump out of his arms but he attacks my sides and I try hard not to scream. "Eric stop." I say in an uncontrollable giggle but he is relentless. Soon I am on my back and he is half laying on me. He stops to let me catch my breath. "Come on, tell me you will stay with me." His eye look deeply in mine. I smile at him. "Always." He tightens his grip and leans in to kiss me deeply.

"Finally!" I jerk my head back hearing Paulo. "You know he i a real pain in the ass when you two are having your lovers quarrels."

"Fuck off Paulo." Eric tells him irritated. "You need to disappear, your virgin eyes won't be able to handle what I am about to do to her." My face turns bright red and I hit Eric on the arm making him and Paulo both laugh, He kisses my nose. "I am just playing princess, that is for my eyes only!" His voice is so rough I can't help but feeling shy. He places a tender kiss on my lips.

Paulo clears his throat. "I thought I told you to get lost dude." Eric says his lips still on mine. "Sorry man, Max is looking for you. I figured it was better I find you first and give you a warning." He turns and walks away.

"Fuck, I can't wait until I can get you alone where we won't be interrupted." I bit his lip. "Soon enough." He growls and slides his down hand between my legs and begins to message me through my pants as he kisses me hard. A hard fast ache springs to life between my legs but suddenly all his contact is gone. My eyes fly open and he is standing above me with an evil smile. "You better get in the top two next week!" He growls at me and then helps me up. I laugh at him. "Calm down tiger. I will do my best." He raises his eyebrow at me then gives me a quick kiss. "See ya princess."

* * *

 **Well all is well again between the two and they actually talk about life after since I have to start setting up the sequel. What did you think? Please let me know. I know it is getting irritating that Eric won't actually say he loves her. Until next time.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey everyone! Well you guys are definitely as awesome as ever. I completely love all the wonderful reviews. Many of you guess stuff before I even post it. It is great. I can't thank you enough to hear how much everyone absolutely loves this story. Here is another chapter for you. Enjoy!**

 **This Chapter is rated MA. Proceed with caution.**

This my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 34:**

 _(Sunday August 16th)_

I am slow to get up this morning as is everyone in our dorm. We were up until the wee hours talking. It was really cool to reminisce about the old days. We spent a lot of the time talking about Jeff, Patrick and me when we were kids and what it was like growing up in our neighborhood. The nights we would sneak out and hang out drinking or walking around down town all night long. We really did have some fun times.

I wear a smile on my face as we line up even though I am extremely tired. I look up to Eric and see a smirk on his face as he looks down at the stage. Something tells me that he sat up listening to our conversation. I had wished several times that he could have come in and joined our little late night group. Unfortunately when we did get a little loud laughing, only Four came in telling us to quiet it down which just making us laugh harder when he walked out.

Eric's face suddenly shifts getting serious as Max gets up on stage. He got in a bit of trouble last week and has been trying to be on his best behavior. When Paulo interrupted us, Max had been looking for Eric to talk about what happened earlier in the day. As it turned out, Lynn complained about Eric interrupting her sessions to give her paperwork and some bullshit about only having a limited time with the cadets. That is what she told Max anyway, we know that she was really pissed that Eric interrupted her to confess his feelings for me, but she is still not willing to tell Max what is going on. Eric is under strict orders not to enter the room during her sessions anymore. He was pretty pissed but he played along. On top of all the other things that Max has been coming down on him for, it was the last thing Eric wanted to hear.

We talked about telling Max, but he told me he is enjoying our little bubble and he isn't ready to give it up yet. He assures me he will though and that he has heard there may be an opening at the camp soon. I tried to pry it out of him what that meant but he said I would find out all in good time. I hate not being in the loop. Other than the one conversation, we really haven't talked any more about me moving to Washington but I can't help but notice we are going into the home stretch here. We only have a little over a month before we finish.

I am momentarily astonished that the time has gone by so quick. In the beginning it seemed to drag by and now here we are; I am happily with Eric, my best friend is doing much better carrying around a smile all the time and I am deciding my future. In the next few weeks, I am going to have to make some life changing decisions, but I am getting more confident about them.

"Here is this weeks rankings." Max says bringing me out of my thoughts and I can't help the smile growing from ear to ear. I placed 2nd this week under Patrick. I glance at Eric and I see his lips twitch up ever so slightly before he composes himself and starts off with our workout. Our workouts have been getting harder. Eric told me that it is normal since our body's have gotten use to the exercise that we changed it up to continue to push our muscles. Apparently that is why he is so ripped although I am sure it has something to do with the fact that he works out seven days a week usually at least three times a day. My own body has become just amazingly defined. My arms, legs, stomach have all become much more lean just in these last three months. We finish up and even though there is a dull ache in my muscles, I feel great.

Patrick and I go up to claim our prize. Patrick takes the skype session and I say the lunch without even looking at it. I see Eric hold in his smile.

* * *

I happily go to meet Eric out front. I am also happy that he scheduled me as Lynn's last session today. The longer I don't have to deal with her today the better. Plus I figure spending some time with Eric would put me in a better mood before I have to see her. When I get out front, Eric and Paulo are there waiting for me. Eric looking like a god standing against the car.

He smirks, "Congrats on getting into the top again." I smile at him. "Coming with us again Paulo?" I ask him. "Damn straight little sister. Lets go, I am starved." I raise an eyebrow at his nickname and Eric just shakes his head. We get in the car. "Little sister huh?" I ask when he starts up the car. I take notice that Eric is not driving this time. "Well yeah. You are dating my brother which makes you my sister right." I giggle at his playfulness. "Ok, if you say it, then it must be true." I see Eric roll his eyes.

It doesn't take long for me to see we are not going the same way to the restaurant. "Where are we going?" I ask a little confused. "Oh, don't worry your pretty little head. Your boy over here has got a little surprise for you." Paulo laughs, Eric punches his arm and then turns back giving me an evil grin. "We'll be there soon babe, just relax." Hm, yeah that is not happening. Now my stomach is all twisted in knots. What does he have up his sleeve this time?

We pull onto what looks like a long driveway through some trees and after a minute it opens up to a huge two story house. My eyebrows pull together, we are going to hang out at a house? We come to a stop and Eric gets out and opens my door. I give him a questioning look and he just waves his arm for me to get out. "You kids don't have too much fun now. I will be back in a bit."

"Fuck off dude." Eric tells him but he can't keep the smile off his face. Paulo drives off. "He isn't staying?" I look up at Eric. "Nope, he is going to get our lunch. Come on." We walk up onto a huge wood porch and the front of the house is almost all windows on the bottom floor. He reaches above one of the decorative shutters and pulls down a key. "Is this your house?" I ask curiously and he lets out a chuckle. "No this is my friends Casey's cabin." That sounds familiar. "As in Lynn's friend Casey?" He looks at me confused. "She mentioned it when I over heard you guys talking that day." He looks down pursing his lips. "Oh yeah. Well Casey is a mutual friend. He lives over on the other side and he lets his friends use his cabin all the time. As long as we don't trash the place, he is cool with us using it." I bite my lip.

"What?" He ask seeing my hesitation. "There is no chance that she is going to show up here is there?" He laughs, "I talk to Casey earlier, he said she didn't ask to use it this weekend so no, she shouldn't be showing up." He gives me a big smile and pulls me into the house. It definitely looks like a bachelor pad. It has a open floor plan and you can see everything when you walk in. To the right there is a hug flat screen T.V equipped with and Xbox One and a Playstation 4. I also notice a nice stereo system and tons of couches. On my left there is a pool table and minibar. The back wall is all glass looking out to the river. The view is really beautiful.

Eric pulls me toward the back wall to the kitchen, He gets into the fridge, pulling out two bottles of water and hands me one. I immediately open it and take a big drink as my mouth seem suddenly really dry. "Wow, this house is beautiful." He smiles at me but doesn't say anything, just looks at me leaning against the counter. His stare is like a direct line between my legs. I shift my weight as the ache appears between my legs. "So what are we doing here?" I ask although I am pretty sure I know his little plan. He shrugs his shoulders. "I thought it would be nice to spend some time alone, without interruptions or having to worry about who is around. We can just be ourselves. Come, let me show you around."

He takes my hand in his lacing his fingers in mine. We go out the back door onto a huge party deck. This place is really quite amazing, We are surrounding by giant trees and the river rushing adds to the character of the house. I lean over the railing and admire the view. "He likes to have a lot of weekend parties up here." I smile at him, "Let me guess, rich and unmarried?" Eric comes up behind me wrapping one of his arms around me while the other pulls back the hair on the side of my neck. "You are very observant." He whispers into my ear as he brings his lips to ghost over my neck. "Is that how you like your men, rich?" I close my eyes at the amazing tingling sensation that is shooting down my body. "Honestly I haven't really met anyone rich, I could care less." He nips at my neck and I let out a moan and I feel him smile on my neck.

He pulls back leaving me wanting more. "Let me show you the rest of the house." He takes my hand and we go back inside and up the stairs. He opens the first door and I see that it is a damn theater room with 12 oversize recliners stair stepping down toward the front of the room. Geez, this guy must be loaded. I feel the rumble in Eric's chest as he sees my reaction. "I suppose you can say he is rich. He owns a few businesses that are doing really well, it is awesome to watch movies in here. Maybe we could take advantage some time when we are not restricted by time."

"Sounds fun." We go out and down the hall. He opens the door and there is a good size room with the same look out toward the river. "And this is what I have been waiting for." I bite my bottom lip and he push me up against the wall kissing me hard and desperate. He pulls back. "I have been waiting to get you to a bed." I grin at him. "I take it you don't count the infirmary." I joke.

"Nope, not one bit." He grabs me under my ass and I wrap my legs around his waist as I giggle at him. He kisses my neck and I tilt my head to the side to give him better access. "I like hearing you giggle." He mumbles on my neck. He feels so good. He turns us and walks us over to the bed, lowering us both down so he is laying on top of me my legs hanging off the edge of the bed. He looks into my eyes. "You are so beautiful." He kisses me lightly on my lips. "And smart." He moves down to my jaw. "And selfless." His lips trailing down to my neck. "And brave." He bites at my collarbone and my ache become uncomfortable. "Danielle, I need you."

"Then please, satisfy that need, along with my own." My voice is weak but that is all the encouragement he needs. He sits me up and removes my shirt before kissing my neck again pushing me back down. His lips feel so good moving across my skin. They kiss and bite down my stomach. He has my pants unbuttoned before his mouth reaches the top of them and he bites at my hip bone. I buck my hip up as I moan at the intense pleasure it causes. He peels my pants and underwear down, pulling them off after quickly removing my boots and socks. He takes my foot in his hand and locks eyes with me. He bite softly at the top of my foot while dragging his thumb nail down the bottom, sending shivers up my body and a loud moan escapes me as a grin crosses his face.

He slowly kisses up my leg until he hits the apex of my thighs and I can't help but squirm under him from the anticipation. I squeeze my eyes shut and lay my head back. He blows between my legs and another moan escapes me. "That is the most wonderful sound in the world, and here you don't have to hold back. No one will hear you but me." He quickly runs his tongue along my folds and I let out a louder moan. "That's right babe, let me hear you." He begins his assault on my sensitive spot circling it slow at first, and then picks up speed. I feel that deep pull in me and I know it will not be long. His tongue moves with expert care and I feel his finger slide into me. He moans and the vibration push me closer to the edge. "Always so wet for me babe." He begins sucking and running his tongue round and round as his fingers begin pumping in and out. The intensity is almost unbearable. I start to buck my hips up and he pushes me down with his free hand holding me in place forcing me to absorb the intense feeling. "Let go Danielle, let me taste your sweetness." He mumbles and then hums hard causing intense vibrations pushing me over the edge as I yell his name.

That was so incredible, I don't even have words. I feel him crawl up next to me. I finally manage to open my eyes and I see him smiling at me as he runs his fingers lightly down my side. "You ok princess?" I hum my approval unable to talk. "Speechless, that has to be a first." I see the pride on his face and I can't help but smile. He sits up pulling me up and wrapping his arms around me. "You taste absolutely incredible." He kisses my neck. "But I am not done with you yet." He whispers in my ear. He pulls his shirt off and then my bra leaving me naked. My instincts kick in and I try to cover myself but he grabs my hands shaking his head. "Don't hide from me. Trust me, you really are perfect in every way." He kisses me lightly on my lips before turning me so I am laying up on the pillow. He removes his pants and boxers in one quick movement allowing himself to spring free. His impressive size always seems to take me by surprise and I take a deep breath of the sight of him before me.

He crawls on the bed kissing me everywhere as he moves up settling between my legs. He stops for several moments to tease my nipples with his tongue causing my need for him to return. As he reaches my mouth he kisses me deeply and he pushes his hardness against me teasing my already tender sensitive spot. He lowers his mouth to my ear, "Thank god your on the shot because I fucking hate condoms." He pulls his face back to look into my eyes and just as I wonder how the hell he knew that he slams into me hard and then stills. I close my eyes tight at the sudden fullness that fills me and I hear his sweet moan driving me more crazy. After a moment, I begin to move my hips up toward him needing relief and he finally complies and begins moving in and out of me slowly. "Fuck princess you feel amazing." He begins to pick up the pace and I meet each thrust as I am driven higher. My hands pull fist full of his hair as I get close to me release and I feel the grumble in his chest as his mouth attaches to my nipple sucking and nipping. It is too intense, I am afraid to let go. I moan his name unable to make a coherent thought. "Cum for me Danielle!" He slams into me again and I lose myself calling out some form of his name, just as he does and we ride out or orgasms together.

He rolls to the side of me. I try to slow my breathing. "You sill coherent babe." I smirk at his playfulness. "Nope." I say in between my breaths and he laughs. "So you approve of beds huh?"

"Definitely have their advantages. Much more comfortable for sure." Once I am breathing normal again. I bite my lip, looking at him shyly. "So how did you know I am on the shot?" He turns on his side propping himself up on his elbow and smirks at me. "Marlene told me she gave it to you when you were on your period." My cheeks flush, he can be so blunt sometimes. "Hm, I love watching you blush." He says and he leans down to kiss me. His hand slides up cupping my breast and I arch my back pushing myself into his hand. "It is amazing that your breast fit perfectly in my hands." He teases my nipple and I moan into his mouth.

"I haven't quite had my fill of you just yet babe, but I know your tired. Well make this easier for you. Turn on your stomach." he whispers in between his kisses. He breaks our lips and I do as he request and he climbs over me and pulls my legs off the side of the bed so I am standing on the floor again. The hieght of the bed allowing me to comfortably rest my stomach on it. He positions himself between my legs. "Eric?" I say not quite sure about what he is going to do. He rubs his hands over my bottom and I feel him hard against me again. "Don't worry babe, I promise not to take things too fast for you." He slaps my ass leaving just a slight sting and the slowly glides into my wetness and back out and then back in. His hands holding my hips incredibly tight as he continues at an agonizing slow pace until I whine his name. "What princess, what do you want?" I don't know if I can say it. I am too shy when it comes to this stuff. "Tell me Danielle, do you want it faster, do you want it harder" His words so rough and raw hit me right in the stomach. I hum hoping he will except that as I try to move my hips against him. His grip tightens me. His slow pace is driving me crazy. "Tell me babe or we will be here all night."

"Yes." I manage to get out. "You want me babe, only me?" He growls which resinating in his chest. I moan at the excruciating ache I feel. "Yes." He lays down across my back biting my shoulder lightly. "That's what I want to hear." He begins to move faster, rougher but it is a very welcome feeling. His finger grip my sides so hard I am sure there will be marks tomorrow, but the slight pain feels so good. He wraps an arm around my waist holding me to him tightly as he continues pounding deeper into me. He slides his other hand around in front of me and begins to message my sensitive spot. My body begins to tremble uncontrollably, "All mine." I hear him whisper in my ear and I am lost in the clouds. I faintly hear him moan a sting of curse words mixed with my name as he pours into me.

When my thoughts finally become coherent again he has moved me up so am fully laying on bed and he is laying on his side next to me running his fingers lightly over my back. The feeling is amazing on my sensitive skin. He kisses my shoulder lightly. My eyes are so heavy, but I open them so I can gaze at the perfect man beside me that is mine. "Welcome back princess." He has a wonderful glow to him as he smiles down at me. I really need a nap, I close my eyes again completely exhausted. "We really need to whip you in shape so these little sessions don't wipe you out." I let out a chuckle. "I take it you are well satisfied." He continues running his fingers over me and it feels absolutely amazing. "There are no words." I tell him honestly and I feel the laughter rumble through him.

"As much as I would love to stay here and nap, Paulo is going to be hear with our lunch and we have to be back by two." I sigh and let out a whine of disapproval. "I know babe, I know. Rest a few more minutes and then come down stairs. There is a bathroom right across the haul and don't worry about the bed, the maid will be here later. She will put some clean sheets on." My eyes fly open and my eyebrows shoot up. "Really?" He laughs and kisses me on the temple. "Don't fall asleep." He gets up smacking my ass again and I yelp. I look at him and see him bite his lip lust still hinting at his eyes. Wow, didn't he get enough. I watch as he quickly slips his boxers and pants on and grab his shirt and shoes. He kneels on the bed giving me one last kiss on my temple."I am serious, don't fall asleep."

"Or what?" I question. He huffs, "Or I might decide to show you how _rough_ I can be." His low rough voice sends shivers down my body and I feel him laugh in satisfaction. Then he is gone. _Holy Shit._ If this is how it is always going to be, I may choose never to leave bed. My man is definitely talented. For a moment, I wonder how many woman he may have been with, but I quickly push the thought away. I don't want to ruin how amazing I feel right now. I scoot toward the edge of the bed and stand up slowly. Christ, I feel like I just ran a damn marathon. I stretch toward the ceiling and then dress myself lost in the lingering feeling of his hands on me.

Going across the hall I find the bathroom. I am completely flushed and I have a perma-grin plastered on my face. I shake my head at my now crazy hair and take out the hair tie I put in my pocket this morning. Thankfully I always keep one on me. With no brush I quickly throw my hair up into a messy bun before going down stairs. Eric has turned on the music and has racked up the balls on the pool table. I raise an eyebrow. "You like pool?" He asks curiously. I nod my head. We use to play all the time at billiards hall by my house. He walks over to me giving me a gentle kiss as he wraps his arms around me. "Good, you break." He shrugs his eyebrows at me.

He watches me intently as I bend over to shoot. "Damn that is a mighty fine sight. If we had more time I would take you right there." He grins evilly at me. I laugh at his boldness, "Down tiger. We will have plenty of time to have all kinds of fun." He comes to stand behind me and leans down nipping my ear. "I am counting on it." Just then the front door opens. "Ok, enough of that shit unless you want me to join in." I feel Eric tense behind me. "She is for my eyes only asshole." He growls and I smile at his possessiveness. "Bro I was fucking joking, lighten up."

I sets some togo plates up on the mini bar and I am suddenly starving. "What did you get me?" I ask as I walk over to him. "I got you the same you got last time and I got Eric and I country fried steak." He is so awesome. "You are a damn saint. I am starving."

"I thought we were going to play?" Eric whines and I can't help but laugh at his pouty face. "You can stare at my ass later sweetness. Right now I need to replace all that energy that has magically disappeared." I send him a playful smile and bit my lip. "Damn Eric, better watch out for this one." He strides up to me holding my eyes with his intense stare. He wraps his arms around me pulling me tightly to him and he leans to bite my ear softly. "Fine, but if I get a chance I will be helping you work it off again." He makes no attempt to be quiet and I know Paulo heard him making my face to bright red as he pulls away with a satisfied look on his face. "Lets eat before we have to get back." I turn around toward the bar and I feel his hand drag down my side before he takes the seat next to me.

"Wipe that shit grin off your face asshole." He says. "Hey, it is just nice to see you so happy." Eric shakes his head before opening his plate and digging into his food.

* * *

I head over to my session with Lynn. I was able to get in a quick nap beforehand and I feel completely happy and relaxed. Not even her shitty attitude can ruin my mood. As i go in I head straight for the couch. I will sit hear in silence for the next thirty minutes and I will not let her ruin my mood. She looks pretty pissed off but I really don't care.

"So he took you out to Casey's cabin huh?" She doesn't waste anytime. I look at her with disbelief. How did she know that? "You spying on us now?" She looks at me like it was a stupid question. "I have my ways of knowing things too. Besides, he takes all of his little booty calls up there." I just shake my head. I will not let her get to me. "You know, we have spent many weekends there together." I cross my legs and look at her letting her know I don't fucking care. "That huge log bed is quite comfortable isn't it." I am starting to get irritated but I am not sure what she is talking about, The bed we were on was not a log bed. It occurs to me he must have taken me into another room. Thank goodness for small favors. As much as it is irritating to know he has been with her, I will not let his past ruin our relationship. I have one fucked up past of my own. I look down shaking my head. "I know what you are trying to do Lynn and it isn't going to work. I don't care about his past."

"Oh is that right. Did he tell you how many people he has been with, or how many at once?" My composure breaks and my eyebrows pull together. _Shit._ I don't care, I look back at my hands. "I told you already, he has a uncontrollable need for sex and there is no way you will be able to satisfy that. He needs a real woman, someone that knows how to satisfy him in every way possible." My anger is starting to get the best of me. I stand and clinch my teeth. "You are just jealous." I seethe. She lets out a small chuckle as she stands getting in my face. "Of what? you? You are just a temporary distraction for him. He will come around when his infatuation wears off, I have seen it before, you aren't special and soon enough he will forget all about you."

I have had enough of this skank. "No, I think you have it wrong. You weren't special. You are just pissed because you want him and he doesn't want you. Did you fall for him Lynn? Did you actually think you were special enough to hold him down? He doesn't want some hoe that puts herself out their for every man to get off on like you. He doesn't want a whinny, weak cunt that doesn't know how to say no." I see the anger in her face grow more and more with my words. I secretly hope she actually hits me so I have a reason to hit her back. I take a step forward and she takes one back. "You are not special. You will never be able to be with him. He doesn't want your nasty ass and you are just jealous that his large satisfying dick was in _me_ earlier and not you. Let me tell you I loved hearing him scream my name as he came violently in me. He will _NEVER_ be yours. He, is, mi..." A searing pain rips through my stomach cutting off my words.

I look down and there is a letter opener sticking out of my stomach. I look up at her in disbelief and I see complete hatred on her face. All my anger, all my rage shoots through me all at once. Everything I have ever felt for her and what she has done to Eric. All the pain and heartache she has caused both of us. Before I even know what is happening I send a single blow hard to her temple and she goes down to the ground dazed. I fall to my knees grabbing her head and start banging it on the ground over and over until she goes limp and dizziness takes me over. "Eric?" I try to yell but it comes out only as a small whisper. I have to get outside, now. I see black threatening around my vision. _Shit_. I try to stand but I can't, my adrenaline is used up. I crawl using one hand to scoot across the floor while I try to hold the object sticking out of me from moving. The pain rips through me and the black tries to close in. _I can't give up._ I have to see Eric one last time. If I am going to die I want his face to be the last I see. I move closer to the door trying to keep the blackness at bay but I am running out of . _Come on Dani, Move._

I reach the door and the handle seem like it is ten feet tall. I stop taking several deep breaths. _Do it_. If I don't I will never see him again. _Eric_. I squeeze my eyes close and reach up trying to ignore the pain that rips though my body. I fall forward as the door gives way, swinging out, as I fall to the small platform right outside the door catching myself with my hand. "Dani, I hear Jeff's confuse call from the court yard. I glance up. _Jeff!_ "DANI!" He yells as he jumps up running toward me as everyone around him stares at him in confusion. Then my eyes lock on Eric's as he comes out of the dorm. He smiles at me sweetly before it falls into confusion, then changing to pure fear. I can't hold myself up any longer. I fall to my side and look down, there is so much blood. I hear shouts all around me, but I can't focus on them. I am trying to breath, trying to keep the darkening from taking over. "Dani what the hell happened." Jeff shouts at me as he looks not sure what to do. He looks down at my stomach, "Oh my god! who did this." I can talk. It is taking everything I have to stay conscious.

Jeff goes to grab me. "Don't fucking touch her, don't move it." His voices is my single spark of happiness and tears spill over. "This is not fucking happening. Babe I am right her, hold on dammit, just hold on." He carefully scoots his legs under my head brushing my hair back. "Four where is the fucking ambulance!" He shouts and I hear the panicked voices behind him. He knows too. I am not going to make it. At least I will die here with him. Max is at my side a second later, "Dani who did this." It is getting hard to breath, I point toward the classroom and I see the horror in Eric's eyes. Max stands and goes in. "Hold on babe, you can do this, you are strong. I need to you to hold on." I hear the sirens but I don't think I can hold on much longer. I look to my side and see tears falling down Jeff's face. I try to smile at him. "Paulo, she is out cold, get in there and restrain her hands before she wakes up again." Max says as he kneels next to me legs. "Hold on kid. It's going to be ok. Do you know why she did this?"

I look up to Eric and I see him trying to hold himself together. "Its my fault." He says softly with so much regret in his voice. "She did it because of me." I shake my head staring into his eyes. It isn't his fault, it is mine. I pushed her to this. "What the hell do you mean Eric?" Max demands but Eric just stares at me. He cups my cheek in his hand as my tears continue to fall over it. _Say it before it is too late_. I take the biggest shallow breath I can manage. "I love you Eric." He shakes his head, before taking a deep breath bringing in his strength. "Don't you fucking give up on my baby. Come on, I need you to fight, their here, they are going to help you." I see him look toward the front. _Its ok baby._ I feel the heaviness take over my body. I drag my hand up placing it over his and turn my head slightly to kiss his hand. I can no longer keep the blackness from closing in and my eyes close. "Danielle, no! Fucking fight baby, you have to fucking fight. You promised you wouldn't leave me now fucking fight!" He shouts. He breaths in deeply as I feel him move and then feel his lips on mine. "I love you Danielle, please, stay for me." His voice so soft and sad. My heart breaks at the sorrow in voices as the black takes me.

* * *

 **You had to know Lynn was going to do something. Psychiatrist are always crazier than their patience. Don't hate me too much. Until next time.**


	35. Chapter 35

**Wow, I cannot believe how much feedback I got on that last chapter. It was amazing, I am so grateful by everyones comments. I love reading everyones thoughts on this story. As I said before, I never expected people to like it this much. Thank you guys so much for your continued support! Here is a shorter chapter for you but I promise the next one will be longer. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 35:**

 _(Day ?)_

I hear voices but I can't move.

"How is she?" Its Max. "She's stable but she is still in serious condition. I was able to repair the damage but she lost a lot of blood. She is extremely lucky. The next 48 hours will be crucial. She isn't out of the woods just yet." He must be talking to the doctor. "Let me know if you need anything, the nurse is right outside."

"Eric?" _He's here?_ I feel a hand tighten over my own. "I told you Max, I am not leaving her."

"How long?"

"A few weeks, after her birthday. Max, please just give me some time." He sounds so defeated. "Ok son, but we need will have to talk about this."

The blackness pulls me back down.

* * *

"She is going to pull through this man. She is strong, stubborn. Just like you."

"I can't stand seeing her this way Paulo. She is hurting and I can't help her. This is all my fault." _Eric this is not your fault baby._ "I fucking love her and it took her dying in my arms to tell her. I don't even know if she heard me." His voice is so quiet and I feel him bring my hand to his cheek. "You seriously love her?"

"Yeah, I am pretty sure I do. How fucked up am I? I didn't even realize that it was love that I felt for her. But when I was holding her and I realized she might die...Christ I thought I would never see her again, never hear her say she loves me, It felt like I was loosing part of me. I never thought I could love anyone. " _Oh baby, I love you too!_

"She'll come back to you man. I know she will. She loves you too!"

I try so hard to open my eyes but the blackness takes me once more.

* * *

There is a loud noise and I feel my bed shake. "You fucking asshole. What the hell did you do?" My brother is yelling and the sound of flesh hitting flesh, and again, and then another struggle "I'm so sorry, I never wanted this for her." What is my brother doing here?

"Steven, that's enough!" _DAD!_ The room falls silent.

"I'm sorry but you need to take this outside or I will ban all visitors." I women's voice hisses."Steven take a walk. Now!" I hear him storm out of the room. "Sorry ma'am. That won't happen again." My dad's voice full of authority and shoes squeak out of the room.

It is quiet for a moment. I feel Eric's hand in my own again. "You better take your hands off my daughter and start explaining before I finish what my son started." My dads voice is so quiet but so threatening it chills me to the bone. _Dad please,_ it is not his fault. He releases my hand. "Sorry sir. My name is Eric, I am her boyfriend."

"She was suppose to be at bootcamp and you clearly are much to old to be there with her. How the hell did you meet?"

"I am her instructor." He says surprisingly steady. I hear my father huff. "So you thought it was ok to take advantage of my daughter." Although he is calm and collected I know he is pissed. "I swear to you sir, it is not like that. I tried to stay away from her but she is...stubborn." He her my dad huff. "I care for her deeply. I never meant for any of this to happen. She doesn't deserve this." I feel him drag his fingers down my cheek.

"So what the hell happened then?"

"Lynn is my ex-girlfriend who is also the camps psychiatrist. She was jealous. As far as we could tell they got into an argument during her weekly session and she stabbed Danielle. Being the fighter she is she laid Lynn out before she crawled out of the room alerting everyone."

"And where the hell were you?" He is getting more upset.

"I was doing my job." _Calm down Eric!_ "If you were her boyfriend, it was your job to fucking protect _HER_!"

He sighs heavily, "I know, I failed her." He kisses my hand. "I'm so sorry princess." I can't stand the defeat in his voice.

There is a long silence. "Do you love her?"

"Yes sir I do." Eric releases me and the heat of his body disappears. I feel a new hand on mine. "You better hope she wakes up. Because I am holding you responsible." He squeezes my hand. "Fight this Danielle. Be strong. I love you kid." _Love you dad!_

Back into the darkness.

* * *

I feel absolutely exhausted and my throat is so dry it is on fire. It is quiet except the beeping that has sped up just slightly. I chance opening my eyes. It takes a moment for the blur in them to clear. I am in a white room and the lights are dimmed I look over and I can see the darkness outside. It must be night time. I try to move my hand but it is being held down. I look over to see Eric sleeping laying on my hand that is folded between his. He looks all mussed up like he has been through hell and back. I guess maybe he has a little.

I use my other hand that is hooked to an I.V. to push his hair off his forehead and I notice a bruise below his eye. As I run my fingers along it, he stirs. He looks confused for a moment until he looks up into my face. "Oh thank god baby your awake." His jumps up and closes the distance to place a soft kiss on my lips as he takes my face in his hands. "Where-" I clear my throat, "Where is Lynn?" His eyebrows pull together.

"Hey don't worry about her." He picks up my hand and kisses it as he sits next to me. "Eric please just tell me." He breathes deeply. "She's being release later today to the Kittitas County Sheriffs. She had a concussion and some bleeding on the brain but she has mostly recovered and has been cleared for the transfer." Damn, I was hoping I damaged her more than that.

He closes his eyes tight and takes a deep breath. "Fucking Christ babe, you scared the shit out of me, you know that? Don't you ever try to leave me again."

"Eric, I would never leave you on purpose. I can't believe that stupid bitch actually stab me. For as mouthy as she is, she's a damn coward. She is lucky she got me so good or I would have killed her ass." He shakes his head. "Babe you are lucky you made it and for the record, I thought several times about into that hospital room and kill her myself." I see the anger in his eyes. "Hey, it's fine, I am ok." I reach up to grab his neck and flinch at the pain that shoots through me.

"Hey don't move. Let me go get a nurse." He goes to move but I catch his hand. "I love you Eric." I tell him with all my heart squeezing his hand. He smiles and pulls my face gently with his hands so that our lips were barely an inch apart. His eyes so full of emotion. "I love you too!" He says as he closes the space and kisses me allowing me to feel his declaration.

I hear someone clear there throat and we both look to the side. My brother is standing there. Eric kisses me on the forehead. "I will go get a nurse." He gets up and give me a wink before walking out.

My brother walks over to me. "What the hell did I say?" He ask trying to act angry. I shake my head at him. "Well I have never had to worry about psycho ex-girlfriends before. Sorry if I am a bit out of practice. And what's the big idea of punching him for it?"

His eyes scrunched together. "How did you know that was me?" I roll my eyes. "Who else would it have been?" And I think I heard them fighting. It is all a bit hazy. "Well when I saw the guilt on his face, I knew one way or another, this was his fault. Might I mention I was right." I shake my head at him. "It isn't his fault that he has a crazy ex. It was my fault for egging her on and underestimating what she might do in return." He grunts. "Of course it was your mouth. It always is."

"Fuck off. So where is mom and dad?" I know dad is here. "Dad is sleeping out in the waiting room. He has been acting really weird. Mom is at the hotel." I bite my lip. "So they met Eric?" He nods his head. "He refused to leave the room. He explained what happened to dad and me."

"Yeah, after you punched him right." He gets a sheepish look. "Well, I was right, it was his fault."

"Hello Danielle. How are you feeling?" The nurse ask as she walks in and immediately starts checking things, Eric follows her in. "I feel a little hazy and I am extremely thirsty. Can I get some water?" He puts a blood pressure cuff on and pushes a button on the monitor bringing it to life. "You are on a morphine drip for the pain which may make you feel a little hazy and tired. Water will make you nauseous but I can give you some ice chips until the doctor gets here to examine you."

"Thanks." I give her a smile. "I am going to get dad and call mom." I give him a nod and Steven leaves. Eric is standing near the door with and unreadable expression on his face. Steven pauses to pat him on the shoulder and whispers something to him before he walks out. Eric just rolls his eyes.

"Alright Danielle, can I get you anything else?"

"Actually it is Dani. The only two people that call me that are the big lug over there and my dad." I smile at Eric as he smirks at me. She laughs. "I will be back with some ice chips." She leaves and Eric comes back over to join me on my bed.

"So my brother gave that black eye huh?" He chuckles, "Well according to him he whooped my ass, or at least that is what he just apologized for. But I really didn't fight back so I don't think that counts." My eyes narrow, "Why would you let him do that?" I say chastising him.

"Babe, this is my fault. She did this because of me, as far as I am concerned, I got off light." He looks down at my stomach. "Christ Eric if you don't stop saying that shit, I am going to whoop your ass." His eyebrows shoot up as he looks to my eyes. "This is not your fault damn it and that is the last I fucking want to hear of it." He looks at me for minute. "Ok." Something tells me that isn't the last of it. "So how long have a been here?"

"It very early Wednesday." Geez, almost three days. "My brother said that you haven't left." He looks down again. "I had to be here when you woke up." He says quietly. "Have you eaten?" His lips press in a line. "Max has been visiting. He brought me some clothes and brought me some food."

"So he knows huh?" Eric nods. "I sort of told you I love you when you passed out in my arms. Everyone heard me. I was too focused on you but Paulo told me that he has never seen Max frozen with shock. Then I grab the keys and followed the ambulance here, I couldn't talk, I just left. It kind of gave him all the proof he needed. He is a bit pissed at me and I haven't talked to him about what is going to happen yet. Honestly all I care about is that you are ok." He squeezes my hand.

I am getting really tired. "You should get some sleep babe. I will be here when you wake up." I nod at him with a smile." I turn at the curtain moving and see my dad, his face face full of relief. "I am going to go get a coffee." I raise my eyebrow. "You are going to drink coffee in the middle of the night?" He chuckles leaning forward to kiss me on my forehead. "I will be back princess." He gets up and leaves as my dad walks over to me.

"Hey sister." He hasn't called me that in years. "Hi dad." I am really struggling to stay awake. "I am going to be fine dad, don't worry about me." He rolls his eyes, "I never doubted you kid. Fighting is in our blood. I knew you would pull through." I smile at him. "Thanks dad." He looks at me pointedly. "So that is your boyfriend huh?"

I suddenly feel a little nervous. "Um, yeah." He looks to my eyes. "Does he treat you good?" I have to chuckle, always protective. "Yes dad he does."

"Well he better or him and my forty-five will have a date." I shake my head. "Dad!" I can only hold my eyes open half way. "Get some sleep sister. I will bring your mother by in the morning. Love you kid."

"Love you too dad." He kisses me on my head. "Night dad." I close my eyes and let myself fall back asleep.

* * *

 **Ok, I know this chapter is shorter but the next one is going to be longer. This was kind of just a filler chapter to set up the next and coming from someone who almost died once and spent three days in the ICU. Waking up for the first time is really exhausting as is the following day and I am trying to keep this as realistic as possible. I hope you guys like it. Please let me know what you think. Until next time!**


	36. Chapter 36

**OMG! What can I even say to you guys. You are completely awesome beyond all my beliefs. I completely love each and everyone of you. To my faithful reviewer you are the awesomest. Thank you for continuing to encourage me. I really hope I can continue to write a story that you enjoy. Here is the next chapter for your enjoyment.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 36:**

 _(Wednesday, August 19th)_

I wake up to the nurse checking my vitals again. She has been in here every hour like clockwork. It is quite annoying even though I barely wake when she comes in, it feels like I haven't gotten any sleep . Eric is sleeping on the chair next to me with his hand holding mine. It is eight in the morning so I know he hasn't been sleeping or he would have been awake hours ago.

"The doctor just got here. He will be in soon to talk with you. Also there is a detective that would like to talk to you this morning whenever you are ready." She looks to Eric as she keeps her voice low so he doesn't wake. "Difficult one you got there. He hasn't eaten and hardly slept the whole time you were out. I tried to get him to eat a sandwich a few times but he just sat there holding you hand ignoring everyone's attempt to help him." My face falls. _Eric dammitt_. "Make sure he eats something when he wakes, I don't want to see him ending up here too."

"Will do. Thank you!" She turns and leaves. I look back toward Eric. Something tells me life with him is going to be interesting. I still have to figure out how to tell my family that I am moving here. I know my brother is not going to be very happy about that. It is kind of scary but I know Eric will make sure I am ok. It feels a little surreal that he told me he loved me. His actions make it hard to ignore how much he really does care about me.

And now my parents know about him too. Not exactly how I planned on telling them but what's done is done. Hopefully they will feel better about me moving out here now. I must be out of my mind moving here with him after only knowing him a few months but I guess I never have done things the normal way. I have to smile at the fact that I have never even been to his actual condo.

Suddenly the lights come on and a doctor walks in. Eric is startled and on his feet in a second. I smile at him. "Morning sleepy head." He composes himself quickly and gives me a kiss on my head. "Morning princess." He says softly and turns to the doctor.

"Well Danielle, glad to see you awake. My name is Dr. Kane, I was the doctor who did you surgery. As I told Mr. Coulter here, the surgery went well. I was able to repair all the damage and you should be back to normal in a few short weeks."

"I have to stay here for a couple of weeks?" My voice comes out a little higher than I meant. He laughs, "No. The camp you're at has a certified nurse. We will be able to release you to them. We would just like to monitor you for a few more days to make sure no complications arise from your surgery. But you will need to easy back into physical activities."

I take a deep breath, "Good, no offense doc but I don't like hospitals much." I feel Eric squeeze my hand. "None taken. Get some rest, I will check in again with you tomorrow."

"Thanks." He turns and walks out.

"How you feeling babe?" I shrug my shoulders. "It would be better if I could sleep for more than a damn hour. How about you? What is this shit I hear about you not eating. Lying to me were you?" His eyes scrunch together. "I said Max brought me food, I never said I ate it." I roll my eyes at him a little angry he isn't taking better care of himself. "Well you better eat this morning." A smirk crosses his face. "Oh yeah, and what are you going to do if I don't?" His voices is low and sexy. "I don't know, feed you myself." He tries to hide his smile. "Oh babe I think I would enjoy that entirely too much. But you need to take it easy for a few days, so I promise I will get something to eat." He kisses me roughly on the lips and desire breaks out as the beeping on the monitor starts to go crazy. He breaks our kiss far to early looking at the monitor and disappointment runs through me. I am really tired though and I know there is nothing we can do here.

"Good." I say with a yawn. "Get some sleep princess, I have a feeling you are going to get a lot of visitors today." I look at him confused and he shakes his head. "Just get some rest. After another yawn I lay back and let myself fall back asleep.

* * *

I hear voices but I am still tired so I keep my eyes closed.

"And how is that suppose to work?" My brother is here. "I want her to move here with me."

"Are you fucking joking, you want her to move out here. After what just happened you have to be kidding." I feel someone touch my leg. "It's up to her, I asked her if she wanted me to move to Chicago but she said no."

"Of course she did, she is selfless like that."

"I don't think it is only that. I think she is looking to get away. I know I have only known her for a few months, but she has had a rough go of it."

"Why can she touch you? Why doesn't it bother her like it does with anyone else outside our family?" I feel Eric squeeze my hand. "You know I have been asking myself that same questions, since I figured out she freaked out in class."

"What class?"

"It was self defense class. We were practicing getting away from an attacker. She was ok at first although I could see it was bothering her, but when she switched places with Jeff to role play the victim I saw her completely go ridged. I could tell Jeff was nervous but she seemed to push him and then she completely freaked out. My first instinct was to push her further. Usually there is always someone who freaks out because they can't handle the stress of camp."

"Kind of a dick move dude."

"Its my job!" He tells him forcefully. "But I didn't do that to her. When I walked up to her and saw her face, I just couldn't do it. It took everything I had not to wrap my arms around her and just hold her until she was ok. I have no idea why I felt so protective of her. None of it made sense in my head. I spent the next several weeks trying to get that look on her face out of my head. I tried to stay away from her but I kept being drawn to her. I wanted to help her, to find out why she freaked out every time she was touched. It sort of became my mission in life. After all part of my job is to help these guys or at least that is what I kept telling myself."

"Did you ever find out the cause of it?" _Oh god don't say it, please._ "You don't know?" I had to concentrate hard to breath evenly, maybe it is time he knew. As much as I don't want him to, he really should know. I feel Eric sigh beside me.

"No, she was fine until she went off to summer camp when she was younger. I didn't go that year because I flew to Texas, to help out my uncle on his farm for the summer. She wanted to stay with her friends and my uncle was a bit of a jerk to her ever since his daughter. She was never the same after that summer. She started flinching when people touched her and she always wanted to be alone. We live in a small two bedroom apartment. Back then my parents had one room and the girls had the other. I slept on the couch. I could hear her crying late at night sometimes, rustling around in her sleep. Sometimes she would sneak out for hours and come back early before my dad got up for work. I asked her about what happened that summer, but she would never tell me. After a while I figure it was really bad and I really didn't want her to have to rehash it so I just did everything I could to protect her and let her tell me in her own time. The only ones she let close were Jeff and Patrick. I asked them a ton of times what happened but they insisted they didn't know, but I knew Jeff was lying. The way she clung to him after that, I just knew." He takes a deep breath.

"After a few weeks, she was mostly ok around our family, but she never let anyone else get close to her. That is until she met you." He pauses for a minute. "I have always wondered if things would be different if I would have stayed." It must be his hand on my leg. I feel it tighten. "Did she tell you?" I doesn't say his answer but I suspect his head does.

"Really?" He sighs. "I kind of tricked it out of her. It was an asshole move, but when I did, I felt like shit. I don't know everything, but I know enough. I am sure she will tell you when she is ready but trust me, you are better off not knowing. It was bad, it changed her as a person and now she just needs to move past it. I will do everything in my power to help her do that."

"I don't know man, I mean, maybe moving out here will help but I don't like her moving away from me. She is trouble." Eric huffs. "Boy you can say that again." Hey fuck off. "I have always been around to protect her, to get her out of things. Trust me, without me around, she would have been in Jail or worse a long time ago. She has absolutely no control of her anger."

"She is actually getting better at that. She hasn't really got into any fights since a few weeks in."

"That's because she everyone knows now not to mess with her." Eric laughs. "She did do a bit of damage, but that's not it. I think being around me has helped. I don't mean to sound so conceited but she seems to be calmed by me. For what ever reason that she lets me touch her, it calms her too. Maybe it is the touch itself, I am not sure but I have seen it. She is different around me."

"Sounds like you are very observant." My brother does not sound happy. "What can I say, she's hot." I can hear the smirk on his face. "Okay fuckface, that is my sister." Eric laughs. "Sorry. She is just a very interesting person. Can I be honest with you?"

"By all means."

"Have been with a lot of women, a lot." He says quietly and I can feel his gaze on me. I must be a damn sadist because I want to hear what he has to say. "Not, inspiring a lot of confidence in dude."

"Let me finish. I use to feel so alone. I had a fucked up upbringing. I was taught that any emotion other than the drive for power was for the weak and useless. I had to be the best at everything and even when I was, it still wasn't good enough. It created a need that I continually tried to satisfy. The woman I was with were nothing more than a way to escape my fucked up thoughts and need. They were nothing to me."

"Still not inspiring confidence here."

"My point is that she changed all that. I think I was drawn to her, just as much as she was drawn to me. Naturally we both fought it. Her stubbornness mirrored mine and we have spent a lot of time pushing each other away. I hate to say I have hurt her." My brother's hand tenses on my leg. "Not physically I swear." Eric spits out quickly. "But emotionally. I was trying to push her away. I was confused about how I felt. I was confused, distracted, all I wanted to do was be around her and it took everything in me not to be. I have never felt like this about anyone. I finally gave in and then she pushed me away. I gave her the space she wanted. I didn't want to push her into anything she didn't want." He quiets.

"But you ended up together obviously, so what is the point."

"My point is, she isn't just a distraction to me. I think she has changed me just as much as I have changed her. I swear to you, this isn't a game to me. I really care about her. If she stays here with me, I promise you I will take care of her. I will protect her. I swear to you that I would never let anything happen to her again." Wow, I cannot believe he just did that. My heart swells so much I feel like my chest is going to burst. I try hard to hold still, I really don't want him to know I have been listening. "Well this better never happen again, I won't stop at a single punch."

"Fair enough."

I hear the door open. "Son." My moms here. I decide now is the time to 'wake up'. I let my eyes flutter open and smile "Hey mom, dad."

"Good morning sweet heart." Eric gets up from beside me. I look at him and smile. He kisses me on the cheek. "I am going to go get some breakfast, let you catch up with your family." He nods to my mom and dad, leaving as he winks to me and I know there is no way I am leaving him.

* * *

I am exhausted again. I spent the last two hours trying to explain to my parents that I wanted to stay here. I figured they deserved to hear it in person. My father was less than happy. My mom was a little easier to convince, but my dad, not so much. Although he didn't say it, I know it is because he realized his baby girl was going out on her own and he didn't like it. I think it was even harder knowing that I was going so far away. I know he is just concerned for me and that he wants the best for me, but this is what is best for me. Our conversation ended when I shouted that 'I loved him' and that seemed to stop him in his tracks. After a long hard look, he said fine and that they had to leave tonight to get back home, quickly telling me goodbye. I know it hurts his feelings and that he is only leaving to show his disapproval, but I am going to be selfish for once. I want to be happy.

I could see the understanding in my mom's eye as she said her goodbye. My brother told me not to worry about it, that if it makes me happy, then that is what I should do. I am glad he supports me.

Eric magically has shown up now after they have all left. I am still upset at my father but when I see the smirk on his face my anger fades away quickly. I have a good feeling he heard at least some of the conversation between me and my parents.

He comes and sits by me giving me a long gentle kiss. "So its official. Your moving here?" I give him a shy smile. "Yep, your stuck with me now." He kisses me again. "I wouldn't want it any other way. Although the way your dad looked at me when he walked out, if looks could kill, I would be dead a thousand times over." He laughs.

Max comes walking in, "Hey you two." We both say "Hi" in unison and then laugh.

"Glad to see your ok." He tells me. "Thanks." I suddenly am nervous, I am not sure what is going to happen to Eric. I don't want him to lose his job or be punished for being with me. That is not fair for him. "Look Max, this is not Eric's fault." He goes to speak but I don't let him. "I am the one that started this and it isn't fair for him to get in trouble for me. I am a grown woman and I can make my own decisions. He didn't push me into this, it was all me." I get it out in a rush. Eric is trying not to smile but Max doesn't hold back his laughter.

"Well that is good to know, but if I could speak now." He pauses and I get a sheepish grin on my face. "Sorry."

"I was going to tell you that I don't encourage interaction between my instructors and the cadets. It obviously isn't good for business. However, I have known Eric for a long time. He has been unhappy for most of that time. Since he met you, I have noticed a big change in him. I have been coming down on him hard thinking he was just distracted by his old issues. I was trying to get him to regain focus when it turns out, I was actually creating more problems. I knew something was up with him but I just didn't know what. I sure in hell didn't think in a thousand years this was the issue." His lips turn up slightly.

"I am glad that I know now. However, I am disappointed Eric didn't say something to me sooner." Eric tenses up. "Max I was going to." Max holds up his hand stopping Eric. "I am happy that you gave over your duties over her rankings to avoid conflict of interest but really it is still there just by you being her lead instructor."

"Max, you can't do this to him. He loves this job." I say worried about what he is about to say. "Just listen Dani. I was just going to say that you and Tara will be switching lead instructors. You will now be under Paulo. Eric will be Tara's lead instructor." I smile at him and he returns it. "So Eric gets to keep his job?" Max lets out a chuckle. "Of course he does. I am really happy he has found you. I was really tired of him being a miserable bastard." He smacks Eric on the shoulder. "Fuck off Max." Eric says with a smirk on his face.

"But serious with all honesty, you really should have told me. I am extremely happy for you but better never happen again. I do not like being left in the dark and if I would have known sooner, I could have, I don't know, done something. Eric I need your word that Dani will not affect your judgment going forward or I will have to remove you until she is gone. This means, not distracted, not disappearing at inappropriate time and above all, you need to maintain a low profile until she has finished out her time."

"You have my word Max."

"Good. I have already taken in enough grief about this from her parents but they have agreed to let it be since she is legally an adult. Dani I need to know if anyone at camp creates anymore problems. I need the rest of this session to go off without any other problems."

"Will do bossman." He gets a sly smile on his face and I am not sure why. "Good. Do not make me regret this decision. Now Dani you have something else I would like you to think about. Assuming you past your final testing, I understand you will have enough credits to graduate." I look at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well this camp is certified as a summer school and the work that you do here gets you high school credit. It is one of the reason our curriculum is so exhausting and focuses on core classes. It helps those who have gotten in trouble to catch up since usually they are behind by the time they make it here. I have been over your school records and you only needed four and a half more credits to graduate. Each of your educational classes qualifies for a half a credit, that is three credits. In addition to that your physical classes get you two more credits, counting toward physical education and occupational credit. That gives you five credits. You will have enough to graduate early. You should really be proud of yourself." I am shocked, I don't know what to say, but I do notice Eric's face shows nothing but pride.

"That is, if it is what you want." He says with his eyebrow raised. "Of course I want that, so is that what you wanted me to think about?"

"Actually we have a position opening and I would like you to consider taking it. I would prefer to have Eric stay here, and I know you will be the key to that." I look over to Eric and I can tell he knew about this. "So what is the position?"

"Well I need this to stay in confidence for a little while longer. So you need to keep this to yourself." I shrug my shoulders. "Ok, I can do that."

"As it turns out, Tris is six weeks pregnant pregnant. She would like to resign so that she can stay home with her child. Her and Four have been looking to buy a home up here and he will stay on as an instructor other than the three months he will take off when the baby is born. I would like you to take her position."

"Wait really!" I say shocked and Eric face mirrors mine, I think he knew this was coming but I don't think he had discussed it with Max yet. "Yes. We would need to get you certified which is going to be a lot of work for you. It is done through a fast track program which means a lot of CLEP exams, which if you pass them will get you automatic credit to cover your core classes and then you can take the remaining classes online at the local college while you train under Tris. Tris will stay on as the technical teacher until she give birth and you can become certified. In all honesty, I believe you would be excellent at this position and you are extremely smart. I don't think you will have a problem." I am ecstatic until I realize something.

"Wait, I have no way of paying for college, there is no way I can come up with that kind of money." I look over to Max. "Don't worry. You qualify for federal grants that should cover the majority of your cost. I also provide my employees with tuition reimbursement. There will be very little cost you will need to cover and we can figure that out when the time comes." Eric huffs beside me. "No need, I will take care of it." I look over to him. "Eric, I cannot let you do that." He glares at me. "Funny, I don't remember asking for your permission. I said I will pay for it. End of story." I roll my eyes. Not in the mood for this argument right now. I press my lips into a line showing my disapproval, but I see he is not going to back down on this. "Fine, you can loan me the money." I look away and back to Max continuing before he can argue. "I would love to Max."

He smiles widely and i don't know if it is from my defiance to Eric or if he is happy I said yes. "Great, we can go over the details later, but please remember what I said. I do not want anymore problems arising from your guys relationship." We both nod at him but Eric is still tense next to me. I am sure we are not done talking about that.

"Now Dani, if you don't mind. I need you to handle a situation for me." I look at him once again confused and so does Eric. "Your friend Jeff has been causing quite the problem for us. He has been raising hell. We had to sedate him the day it happened and ever since then, he has been a royal pain in my ass. My agreement with the courts is you guys cannot cross out of the city limits of Cle Elum, so I can't bring him here. I need you to talk to him and get him to chill out."

"Wait, where are we?" I just realized I have not asked yet. He pulls out his phone and sends a text. "We are in Ellensburg. Cle Elum only has a small clinic, they were not equip to handle your situation. Same reason Jeff was brought here when he was taken to the hospital." His phones rings and he answers it. "Thanks Four, put him on." Max hands me his phone and I take it reluctantly.

"Hello?" I say a little timid. "Jesus fucking Christ your ok. I have been so fucking worried. What the hell happened?" I roll my eyes at Jeff's shouting on the other end of the phone. "A dumb bitch stabbed me, obviously." I say with a little laugh but Eric obviously doesn't think it is funny as he shakes his head slightly.

"I know that but fucking why would she do that?" I really shouldn't get into this now. "Jeff, I will explain everything when I get back in a few days ok. Until then can you stop giving everyone such a bad time. You are going to end up on mess haul duty for the next month you dumbass." I can almost hear him calming down at my smart ass remarks. "Fine, but you are really ok right? That was some pretty gruesome shit." _No shit Sherlock._ "I am ok, I will be released in a few days and I will explain ok?"

"Yeah ok. Has Eric been there with you? I haven't seen him since it happened." I look up at Eric and he is just watching me intently. "Yes, he has been here. My mom, dad and Steven are here too."

"Okay. I suppose that makes me feel a little better, although Max is an asshole for not letting me come there to see you. And I swear if the fucking nurse shoots me up with one more fucking thing I am going to break her arm. I hate that shit."

"Jeff you better not. They have rules to follow just like us, I said I am good, now fucking man up and deal with it until I get back. Understood?" Max and Eric try to stifle their laughs as Max mumbles 'yep, she'll fit in great'. "Whatever bossy. I will see you in a few days." I huff. "Better. I will see you soon. Love you." Eric's eyes fly to mine as I just realized what I said. "Love you too brat. Take care." Four gets back on the phone and I hand the phone to Max who starts talking and walks away from the bed. Eric's eyes are still on mine but I can't read his expression.

He obviously was not happy hearing that out of my mouth. I breath in deeply and take his hand. "Don't even think it. You know the love I feel for you and the love I feel for him is different. He is a very close friend, like a brother. I need you to be comfortable with that and know I would never do anything to hurt you. Ever!" He holds my gaze for a moment longer and his expression shifts as leans down to kiss me hard before pulling back. "You are mine and I don't share." His voices is so low and full of authority. I smile at his possessiveness. "Calm down killer. I am all yours." I take his face in my hands and kiss him lightly and then drawback to look in his eyes. "Always." I say softly putting all my heart into it and the kiss him on the tip of his nose, with a smile. I feel his chest rise and fall with a sense of relief. "Good."

Max rejoins us and says his goodbyes and I settle in to get a much needed nap. Eric runs his fingers gently on the under side of my wrist in a figure eight as we watch reruns of the Sons of Anarchy until I fall asleep.

* * *

I am awaken yet again by a nurse. Who informs me they are transferring me out of the ICU and transferring me to the PICU which means I might actually get to sleep tonight. Unfortunately though I will be losing my morphine drip and they will be putting me on pills, but on the good side, I will be able to eat a decent meal again.

Eric sits next to me as the nurse lifts up my gown to look at my wound checking it for signs of irritation. Even with the morphine it hurts a bit. Eric looks away as soon as she lifts the bandage with I find odd. I know he isn't squeamish. She moves it around slightly and I try hard not to flinch as I feel Eric tense beside me and tightens his grip on my hands trying to comfort me. She covers it with her approval and tells me they will be moving me sometime in the next hour as she leaves.

Eric continues to look down at my hands that cover his. "Are you okay?" I ask gently. His eyebrows pull together. He still feels guilty. "Babe, stop it. It wasn't your fault." He looks up at me.

"Excuse me?" We both turn to see a man in a pair of jeans and a nice blazer standing at the door. "Hello detective Kang." Eric greets him and the gentleman nods in response before looking at me. "Good afternoon Danielle. Good to see you are on your way to recovery. I am Detective Jack Kang. If you don't mind, I need to speak to you about what happened." I see Eric huff. "Is this really necessary." I can hear the anger in his voice which is odd. He is usually fairly composed. "I am afraid it is." Eric bites his lip and looks at me. _What now._ He is uncomfortable about something.

"Danielle," I stop him by putting my hand up. "Please call me Dani."

"Yes, ma'am. Can you please tell me in your own words what happened." In my own words? Who's words would I say? He takes out a tape recorder. "Do you mind?" He ask seeing my gaze on the recorder. "No that is fine." He presses the button and then says my full name and the date and time. "Please continue." He says to me.

"Well I was having my weekly session with Lynn. She had her choice words to say about Eric. I responded defending him and she got in my face and then stabbed me. I fought back before she could do anything else and then I crawled outside to get someone's attention before I could pass out and bleed to death."

"Why would you ladies be talking about Eric." Eric gets more tense beside me. "He is my boyfriend, but he use to be with Lynn. She wasn't too happy about that."

"And you never threatened her?" My eyebrow shoots up. "No, why would I do that?" He looks to Eric, "Did you ever feel threatened by her that Eric was cheating on you with her?"

"What! No of course not. He is not like that." I look to Eric and he is shaking his head slightly with his eyes closed. _What the fuck._ "Did your boyfriend tell you about his colorful past with women." My anger is starting to rise. "His past is his past, I don't fucking care. I am his future, period!" A slight smile tugs at Eric's mouth. "Why does it even matter, that stupid bitch stabbed me."

"Well ma'am," He says as he tenses up. "She is claiming she did it in self defense. She says she only stabbed you after you hit her and slammed her head into the ground out of jealousy." _Fuck me_ , "You got to be kidding me." I say exasperated. "That is a bunch of bull shit."

"I agree," Eric chimed in. "I have no feelings for Lynn. I really never did and she was pissed about that."

"That's funny because she told me that you recently got into a fight at the local bar because you were jealous that she was there with someone else." I see anger cross Eric's face. "That's bullshit, I have witnesses. I tried to walk away. He started that shit."

"Well this will be something you both will need to take up in court. The judge has granted her bail and a hearing has been set for thirty days from today. Until that time, she is not to come within 1000 meters of the either of you. I have talked with the owner of Dauntless and he has let her go and requested she not return. Until the hearing Dani, you will remain at the boot camp since your sentence is not up yet. I suggest you get a lawyer being you are already in there on assault charges. Good day!" He turns around and walks out. I am beyond shock. What the hell just happened. How did this get turned around on me.

"They don't fucking believe me." I seethe. "I am a fucking criminal and she is an upstanding citizen. She is going to get away with this. This is bull shit." Eric leans down hugging me to comfort me but I can tell he is pissed. "She is not going to get away with this babe, I promise you. We will figure this out. There has to be something we can do. We'll figure this out." I sure hope so.

* * *

 **What did you think? Just letting you know that this story will be ending soon but I will be setting the rest of this up for the sequel that I have decided to do since I write for you guys and you have requested it. As always, let me know what you think, it is always appreciated. Until next time.**


	37. Chapter 37

**So glad you guys like my story, you are amazing as ever. Thank you so much for all the reviews and comments. Here is another one for you! Enjoy.**

 **This chapter is rated MA. Proceed with caution.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 37:**

 _(Saturday, August 22nd)_

"Come on Max. Please?" I whine.

"Dani I said no, you just got back here a couple of hours ago. You need to rest." I scrunch my face at him. "Seriously Max, I have been cooped up in a hospital room for a week." He chuckles, "You were comatose for half of it."

"Yeah but it has been a week since my surgery, and I need to get up and move around. Especially since I have to be cooped up in an even smaller room for the next week. Eric will you help me out here?" I looks at me like I am crazy. "Sorry princess but I have to agree with him on this, you need to rest." _Urg_ , I thought at least he would be on my side. "Max, I can make the next week either really easy or really hard. You know I can, all I am asking is for a few simple things." I stare at him with my most serious face.

He breaths in deeply looking a little defeated. "Fine I will compromise. I will allow you to start going to the mess haul for meals starting tomorrow and to your educational classes on Monday. Other than that you are in this infirmary, you got it. If you can behave for one week I will let you move back into your dorm and I strictly forbid all physical activities for two weeks. That was the doctors orders." At least I got something. He was going to just keep me confined her for the next two weeks, but I am already itching to get out and move around. I couldn't imagine being stuck in here for two weeks. "But I get to go tonight right?"

He rolls his eyes. "Fine, but Eric needs to escort you to and from the bonfire and he is not to be staying in here with you at night. You need to recover. He needs to get back into his duties like we talked about." My face lights up and I can see a hint of a smile on Eric's face. It isn't everything that I requested but at least it is something. I really wanted to just go back to the dorm and get back in the normal routine and take it easy on the physical part but Max had immediately shut me down and I could see the look on Eric's face that he agreed with Max.

"Thanks Max." He shakes his head at me. "You are definitely going to fit in here. Another pain in my ass." Eric and I both laugh at him. "Now Eric she is fine, get out of here and start getting your shit caught up. I expect at least two of your reports done by sundown and on my desk before you take Dani to the Bonfire."

"Sure thing Max." He come over to me where I am sitting on the bed against a bunch of pillows. "See ya later princess." He gives me a quick kiss on the top of my head and I think I hear Max scoff as he says 'princess' under his breath. Eric leaves and Max looks at me. "I am serious, he needs to focus and you need to behave. I won't tolerate insubordination. This only works if you to do what you are suppose to do. You need to show me you guys can handle this." I nod my head. "Thanks again Max. For everything." He chuckles, "I was serious, he use to be a major pain in the ass. Hopefully things will get better for him now. It is all I want for any of you, is to be happy." He smiles and leaves me alone.

I try to relax. The trip home from the hospital really was a bit exhausting. Even though they insisted I be wheeled out in a wheel chair right to the waiting car. It made me feel weak and I don't like that.

Eric's constant hovering was actually getting a little irritating too. Always asking what I needed, or how I was doing, or if I was in pain. Always walking me to the bathroom or picking me up to set me on the chair, treating me as if I was going to break. Even when he kisses me. Anytime I tried to deepen the kiss he would immediately pull away. I am quite sexually frustrated right now. I know he feels it to. I have teased him a few times and felt his excitement but he just gives me an irritated look and excuses himself from the room to calm down.

Sometime really soon, I need some damn relief. I am getting all achy just sitting here thinking about it. I take several deep breaths and lay back while I eat the sandwich and fruit that Eric brought me for lunch. I should probably get some sleep so I am ok to go later tonight. It will be nice to be able to be around everyone. Jeff was there waiting for me this morning. Max looked a little irritated and I thought Eric was going to beat his ass when he hugged me so hard I yelled at the pain that shot through me. Of course Paulo, Four and Zeke all stopped in to say hi but so did just about all the staff. Uriah was also a little too excited when he plopped down on the bed sending a shooting pain though my body. Eric hauled him up by his collar and threw him against the wall a little harder than needed. It was almost funny.

I am still a little nervous about the whole Lynn situation. Max offered to get me a lawyer since I was injured in his camp. He also said that I shouldn't worry to much about it that the lawyer was good, but that doesn't stop me from worrying. Instead of her going to jail for attempted murder, I may get yet another assault charge and this time it would be two to five in prison because of all my past criminal record. That is what scares me. I seriously doubt Eric would wait around for me for that long. At first my fear was just going to prison for that long. Minimum Security was usually for non-violent crimes. I would go to at least a medium security prison that is full of murders.

Now my fear is loosing Eric. My feelings for him still scare me a bit. I never thought I love could be so strong, but as every day passes, the more I realize I don't want to ever be without him. Even when he irritates me, I want to be with him.

We talked so much the last few days, it was really nice to find out so much about him. We talked about everything from the stupid little things like our favorite things to do together, to the deep things. He told me more about his childhood. He dad sounds like the biggest asshole in the world. I couldn't imagine growing up like that. It really made me appreciate my parents so much more. He says he hasn't talked to them in more than three years and really has no intention too.

I admitted to him that I heard his and Steven's conversation. He ended up telling me he knew I was awake because my heart beat had picked up and that what he said to my brother was just as much for me to hear as him. He wanted to know that he only cares for me, that I am special to him. I already knew that but it was still nice to hear.

I crumple up all my garbage and throw it in the can next to my bed and take my pain meds Marlene left for me before scooting down on the bed. The Percocet and Ibuprofen only helps with some of the pain. It's painful has hell still especially once the pills start to wear off but I can deal with this. I need to show Max I am ok so he will lay off me a little; I hate being confined. I put in my ear buds, turn up the music and close my eyes.

* * *

"Ready?" Eric comes in to the room. Marlene just helped me get into my shirt since I still can't lift my arms above my head without a ridiculous amount of pain. She was kind enough to give me a little extra pain meds, but she warned me this was a one time favor. "Yep." I say a little to sweetly. He hands me one of his sweaters. " Thought you might like one that smells like me." He says as he wraps his arms carefully around me, making sure to avoid my cut. As he leans down to kiss me I can smell the alcohol on his breath and what ever he was drinking is strong. As he kisses me and I can taste the whiskey. At least it seems to have loosened him up a bit. That was the most passionate kiss I have gotten in a week. I give him a mile wide grin. "What?" He ask trying to be all innocent.

"What kind of whiskey you drinking?" He chuckles. "Black Velvet! We had a pre-bonfire get together. It is a normal thing for us." I bite his lip softly letting him slowly pull it out of my teeth. "It taste delicious. Especially tasting it on you." He bites his lip and I know he is turned on. He kisses my nose, "And if weren't taking pain meds, I would offer you some, but to bad for you." He says as he laughs. He sounds so carefree tonight. He has been so uptight and tense all week, I am glad he finally gets to relax. "Well I expect you to share at the next one." I tell him trying not to smile but I fail miserably. " You got it princess, come on, we got a date with all your friends who are dying to spend some time with you." He grabs his sweater out of my hand and puts it over my head and patiently helps me get my arms in. Once I have it on, I breath in deeply. He is right, it smells deliciously of him. I love the smell of the cologne he wears, mixed with the smell of his Bruit after shave.

He laces his hand in mine and I look at him. Max told us to keep a low profile. "Max said it is okay, don't worry. Holding hands ok, at least for tonight while everyone is here." I raise my eyebrow at him. "He allowed Shauna, Bud and Lauren to come. Since Tris is going to make her announcement tonight. Besides, half the camp heard me tell you I love you, it isn't like it is a secret babe." He kisses me on top of my head. "Lets go."

We slowly walk out to the firepit. By the time we get there I am breathing heavily and Eric looks at me a little worried. We sit down on a log together as he continues to look at me. "I'm okay, stop freaking out." He looks down, "I am not freaking out. I just want to make sure you are ok." He says grumpily. It is so cute when he pouts. "Why don't you get me a water." I say as I poke him in the side. His smile returns. "Yes ma'am. And for the record, I am suppose to tell you that you are not to get up from that seat all night or I have to take you back. So don't move that cute little toosh of yours. I am rather looking forward to spending this time with you and I won't be happy if Max makes me take you back." His tone is stern but I see a smile threatening at the side of his mouth. "Okay, mister bossy, I promise to stay right here."

He goes over to get a water and grabs out a soda too. He opens it and guzzles some before handing it to Paulo. I am momentarily confused until I see Paulo pull out a flask. Apparently that is how everyone drinks here. I smile as he comes back to join me with his drink and my bottle of water. "And what might I ask is so amusing?" He says to me curiously. "You know that is how we hid our alcohol from you guys during our first bonfire." He chuckles. "I figured. It hasn't been that long since I had to hide my alcohol.

"Looks like your boy found a little action of his own." I look at him confused and he nods his head to the side of me. I look over and Jeff is kissing Tara. _Wow._ That was unexpected. I mean I know she like him, I didn't realize he had returned any of those feelings. They break their kiss and Jeff's eyes catch mine. I give him a big smile and he looks down a little shy but he wraps his arm around her waist. Good for him. "I am happy for him. He deserves to be happy."

"At least I don't have to worry about him around you anyway." I elbow him in the side and I am suddenly glad he sat on the opposite side of my wound. "I know, I know but it is hard to get past the fact that he crushed on you for years okay." I roll my eyes. "Well get over it because I am not giving up my best friend because of jealousy." He shakes his head. "Okay princess, whatever you say."

"Princess? I think you may have hit your head." Huck says as he sits down next to me. "So this explains a lot." He points to our joined hands. "It is a joke between him and I and what do you mean 'explains a lot'?" He shrugs, "Is this how you got into the top so many times?" He says and I see the smile he is holding in. I know he is kidding, but Eric has gone tense. "I had no control over that asshole, I gave up that responsibility." He is down right pissed and I put my hand on his thigh to keep him in his seat.

"Dude chill out I was just kidding." He looks at him a little crazy, almost afraid. "He knows that Huck, he just isn't use to your uncanny charm." I smile at Huck and give Eric's leg another squeeze. "Anyway, welcome back." He smiles and leaves to go talk with some of the others. "Eric you need to relax a little." He takes a long swig of his drink, but he is still tense. As he goes to take another drink, I move my hand up the inside of his leg causing him to almost chokes on his drink. "I could help you work off some of that tension if you want." I feel his groan as much as I hear it. "Danielle, behave." He says lowly. "What if I don't want to?" I squeeze the inside of his thigh harder and he jumps a little as he quickly grabs my hand and sets it back in my own lap. "Behave or you will go back to bed." He says roughly as he adjust his pants quickly and I hide my smile. "That could be fun." I say bitting my lip, hoping it will work. I am absolutely aching for him right now. "Alone." He deadpans and I purse my lips. "Your such a party pooper."

"We will have plenty of time for that babe. Just be patient." He says trying to soften the blow. I huff. "Easy for you to say." I say smugly. "I'll make it up to you later." He whispers in my ear sending another thrum of aching between my legs so I cross them trying to to get a little relief and he laughs at me. "Keep laughing and I will show you how funny it is." I say completely serious but it just makes him laugh some more. "Asshole." He gets that incredibly sexy smirk on his face. "Never said I wasn't."

I smile at him and look around. Everyone is here, laughing and having a good time. This is so what I needed. Max shows up with Tori and Bud and our s'more supplies. Eric sees me eyeing the table. "You want one?" I nod at him. I was so tired of that hospital food, I want something delicious. He squeezes my hand and gets up to make me one. Royce and Mike come over to say hi and to welcome me back. Royce sits rather close to me while Mike just stands next to us. We sit and talk for a minute until Eric comes back handing me my s'more and sits next to me placing his hand on my thigh. I notice Royce's sour face seeing Eric's hand resting on my thigh which I am fairly certain he did to make sure Royce knew to stay back. We talk for a few minutes and they move on to talk to Jeff.

"Eric be careful, your jealousy is showing." I say sarcastically and he turns toward me. "I was not being jealous, I was simply touching my girlfriend." I smirk at him and I hear Tris ask everyone for their attention. Four stands near her and looks a little nervous. "Well I have some news for everyone. Actually I have two things now." She is absolutely glowing light a light bug. I see Max look at her confused. "The first thing is...that Four just asked me to marry him." He holds up her hand to show a ring on her finger, everyone erupts in cheers. I feel Eric huff be side me. "Its about time. I was starting to think he would never ask her." He says quietly. I look at him questioning but he just shakes his head and shouts, "And?"

Four gets a smirk on his face as everyone quiets down to listen. "And," he places his hand over Tris's stomach as she blushes. "I am going to be a dad." I hear all the staff members all yell at once and quickly converge on them. The guys knocking Four around and the girls all placing their hands on Tris's stomach.

Max picks up a bag that was at his feet and Tori starts handing out glasses and feeling them with champagne. "He is letting us drink." I look at Eric surprised and he laughs, "Yeah right, it is sparkling cider." _Damn_. Everyone gets a glass and then Max gets everyone's attention. "Congratulations Four and Tris. Your friends and I wish you two nothing but happiness as well as good health to your little one. To Four and Tris." He raises his glass and everyone shouts 'Four and Tris'. I smile as I stare at them, and I can't help but wonder if that will be Eric and I some day. Eric grabs my hand and brings it up to his lips gently kissing my knuckles. "One day babe." He murmurs against my hand. _Holy shit_. Did he really just say that. My freaking heart is racing. I don't say anything because I want to remember tonight just like this. I smile at him shyly and he mirrors it.

He stands and pulls me up so we can go congratulate Tris and Four. I give Tris odd side hug since Eric has refused to let go of my hand and nod at Four. "Great news you guys, I am happy for you. Congrats to you both."

"Number boy, you finally grew a pair. Bout time, Congrats." I elbow Eric in the stomach. Four just laughs and looks at our joined hands, "Apparently so did you." I press my lips together to keep from laughing. "Oh trust me that was never the problem." He says biting on his lip and looking down at me. I blush looking away from him. He has definitely never been shy about asking me anything. "Thanks guys," Tris says trying to stop the pissing match going on in front of us. "Nice to see you back Dani, you sure do have your hands full. Good luck with that one." I have to laugh because she is dead on. "Thanks." I say and pull Eric away before he can say anything else.

We sit and the night continues to pass quickly. Just about the whole camp has come over to say hi and I am exhausted, I lay my head on his shoulder and Eric lays his head on top of mine as he wraps his arm around my waist. "Getting tired?" I look up into his eyes. They are so warm and loving right now. "Just a bit." He smile down at me. "Come on, let me put you to bed."

We walk in silence back to the infirmary. I notice he is staring at the stars again. It is so cute that he does that. We get into the room and I turn and take his hand. "Lay with me until I fall asleep?" He smiles at me. "Sure babe. Lets get you ready for bed." I really want him right now. I am feeling a bit high right now from the pills Marlene gave me and it is making the feeling all the more intense. I grab out my shorts and I am suddenly happy I had already put my tank top on. I don't want him to see the bandage on my stomach. He helps me take my sweater and then my tee shirt and I look up at him sweetly. I swear I feel his pants twitch and I know he is just as horny as I am. He takes a step back and pulls out his phone. I look at him a little confused. "I am making sure the camera is off. I am not suppose to be staying in here with you tonight, even if I am only staying for a while. I don't want to get shit from him." I grab my shorts off the bed shaking my head. Works for me even better. I need to remember there is a damn camera in here. I turn away from Eric and slowly slide my pants off down to my boots and then untie my boots slowly. "Good." I hear him mutter right before I hear him breath in deeply, I am sure he just caught slight of me bent over in front of him. I smile before I slip off my boots and remove my pants.

I stand up and turn around to look at him and he turns his face away quickly looking like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His pants are beginning to bulge and I bit my lip. "Behave!" He tells me sternly. "I don't know what you are talking about." I say with an innocent smile. "Get into bed Danielle." He is defiantly frustrated and I want to laugh but I hold it in. I start to walk around the bed, "With you shorts on." He says as an after thought. _Crap._ I quickly get my shorts on and then lay on my side patting the bed next to me. "Come on. Come lay with me, I will behave."

He pauses for a second and then sits down to take his boots off. He lays down next to me and I lay in the crook of his arm and wrap my arm around his waist. He wraps the arm under my neck around my waist and starts to run his fingers up and down my side, but doesn't go down to my wound. The contact even though is so little, turns me on so much. "I love you Eric." I say quietly. He kisses my forehead. "Love you too." He says as his arm tightens around me slightly.

I begin drawing circles on his stomach. I can feel his muscles though his shirt. Damn this man is so fucking hot. His breaths start to even out. He has been sleeping in a hospital chair for the last week. I am sure he is more tired then he let on. He hand relaxes on my waist and I am fairly certain he fell asleep. I smile knowing exactly what I am going to do.

I move my hand down his stomach and very carefully undo his belt and then unbutton his pants. I can feel his little happy trail that leads down into his pants. I unzip his pants slowly, I don't want him to wake up just yet.

I let my hand slip into his pants and under the waist band of his boxers. My hand touches him and I freeze as he moves just a little. When I am sure he is not awake I start to rub him slowly. Even when he isn't hard, he is still impressive. He begins to harden under my hand and I hear him moan. I don't think he is quite awake yet. I begin stroking him a little faster as he gets harder and harder. Suddenly his eyes fly open and his hand covers mine. "What the hell are you doing?" I squeeze him and he breaths in sharply. "Babe, we can't do this. No strenuous activity remember." I feel his hips push up just slightly and I know his body is not agreeing with his brain. "It's just my hand Eric, I am sure I will be fine." His hand relaxes just for a second and I begin to move mine again before he stops me. "Please baby, I need you." I whine at him, I am dying here. I squeeze him again. He turns his head to look me in the eyes. I pull at him once more trying to get his mind over the edge I can tell he is teetering on. He closes his eyes for a moment and then turns on to his side so his whole body is facing me. "Lay on you back." He says sounding defeated and I know I have won. We move over slightly on the small bed so I can lay on my back. "We are not having sex tonight, but I will relief a bit of that pressure for you if you promise me you stay still. If you move around I will stop ok?" I just nod my head at him.

He leans down and kisses me. He deepens it quickly as he slides his hand down my shorts and into my underwear. As soon as he touches my bundle of nerves I let out a loud moan and push my hips up into his hand. He freezes "I said still." He takes his hand out of my shorts and grabs my leg hiking it up so it is bent and leaning against him, then slides his hand back in to my pants. "Absorb the pleasure babe." He whispers into my ear. "And for fuck sake say quiet before we get into trouble." He starts kissing down my neck and begins to message me again. I feel like I have been waiting weeks for this, but I don't want this for just me.

I slide my hand down into his pants again. He pauses for just a moment as I stroke him. I feel the shiver go up his body and he continues. It takes all my strength not to move. When he slides his fingers in me I let out a involuntary moan. He quickly covers my mouth with his. "Always so wet for me." He mumbles and then picks up the pace sliding his fingers in and out of me while circling my clit with his thumb. I stroke him harder trying to cope with the intense feeling building in me and he moans into my mouth. As I am getting close I try to close my legs but he uses his his arm to keep my leg pinned against him. "I said absorb it." His voice has gone very low and rough. I pick up my pace as my hand tightens around him because that is the only movement I am aloud. The pleasure is almost getting painful and he pushes his fingers into me deeper hitting my spot and my body begins to tremble and i tighten around his fingers. I squeeze him hard in response. "Ahh fuck." He breaths in in deeply between his teeth, I pause, "Oh god don't stop." He begs and I do it again, once, then twice and I feel liquid begin to spill from him. He groans and bites me on the sweet spot on my neck as he continues with his fingers causing my orgasm to go longer. He is fucking amazing. We both continue for a minute until our orgasms run their course.

That was crazy intense and I feel a hundred times better. He rest his forehead against mine as he tries to catch his breath. "You never cease to amaze me." I just hum not able to speak just yet. "Feeling better princess?" I hum again. "Is that all I am getting out of you tonight." I smile and hum one last time and he laughs as he reaches over grabbing the box of tissue and begins cleaning off my hand. "Looks like I am going to have to come give you a sponge bath tomorrow." He says with a wicked grin and then gets up to wipe down just above his waist band. He buttons and buckles his pants before laying back down with me. "Now go to sleep." He kisses me on my nose and I snuggle into his chest. I can't wait to fall asleep like this every night. "Night baby." I tell him. "Night princess." I close my eyes and fall quickly into a deep sleep.

* * *

 **Another one down and done. I had to give Four and Tris there happily ever after. I think they belong together. At least for now. It was necessary so that I can write the sequel. Again trying to make everything as real as possible although that is always possible. It will be sad to see this book done but I am happy to be writing the sequel. Until next time.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey, Hey Everyone. Sorry about not posting yesterday My husband didn't work and confiscated my laptop to watch movies. Thank you to everyone for all your reviews. It is so wonderful and awesome and I can't wait to continue on with my story. You guys really are the best and drove me to write this whole story in a month and a half. That is crazy. I think the next chapter is going to be another Eric chapter. Thank you so much again and I hope you like the new chapter. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 38:**

 _(Sunday, August 30th)_

I am was so relieved to take a real shower, those body wipes I have been using all week just weren't the same . It felt so good to relax under the hot water and I actually feel clean now and dressed in normal everyday clothes instead of the sweats and tee shirts I had worn all week. I also am happy to be back in my own damn bed. The infirmary bed is so uncomfortable. The only advantage to being in there is the privacy which does absolutely no good because the only person I would like to be alone in there with me is still treating me like a fucking porcelain doll. I have tried to get Eric to mess around with me all week with no avail. Apparently the alcohol was the only thing that loosen him up last week or I would be even more sexually frustrated. Right now I think I know how a guy feels always wanting sex. I think I am literally becoming addicted to it or maybe I am just addicted to being passionate with him.

As if he was reading my mind he comes into the dorm. I have just finished putting my stuff away and was going to go outside to join everyone in the court yard. The only thing is I really don't have homework today. Being stuck in the infirmary all week, and not being able to participate in physical classes has given me plenty of time to get it all done already. He comes over to me and kisses me on the head. "How you feeling princess?"

"Ok, I guess." He raises an questioning eyebrow. "Just ok? I thought this would make you happy. You have been itching to get out of there all week." I look down at my hands before standing up in front of him. "Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be back in here, but I have other needs that have been neglected and I would much rather they were satisfied." I peak up at him through my lashes and his eyes narrow at me. "I would be happy to satisfy that for you." He says with a smirk on his face. _Thank goodness_. I pull his face down to kisses him but he pulls away far too soon with an evil grin. "As soon as the doctor clears you for physical activity." _Fucking ass_. "Come on babe I am dying here." I whine at him and he chuckles. "Sorry but we are following the rules on this one. I don't want you getting any more hurt than you are. I know you, you have been holding back how you are truly feeling." He is right, I have cut my meds quite a bit even though I am still hurting a bit, but today I feel mostly ok. "I'm fine." I say irritated as I push him away and sit back down.

Suddenly he pushes me back on my bed putting just enough weight on me to hold me down. I look up at him shocked hoping he is doing what I think he is doing. He kisses me softly. "Suck it up. I really think you shouldn't rush back into things." He kisses me again. "Well I think you should stop treating me like a damn doll and satisfy my damn needs right now!" I say firmly. I have gotten more bold around him, but I am not sure if it is because I feel more safe with him or if he just makes me feel stronger. Maybe it is both. "Babe, it isn't that hard it is only one more week." He tries to sooth me, but I chuckle under him. "Easy for you to say, I feel like I am going to explode here." He tries to hold in his smile. "Easy is definitely not the word I would use to describe it." He pushes down his hips and I can feel him hard against my thigh. "See all the more reason to take care of our frustrations now." I can see he is going through an internal struggle that I secretly hopes he loses because the aching is getting unbearable especially with him laying on me like this.

"Hey Eric." I groan as I hear Paulo and I look over to see him standing in the door way to the bathroom looking a little shocked. "Um, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt anything." Eric quickly jumps off of me looking the opposite way of Paulo while he adjust his pants. "No its fine Paulo. What's up?" His eyes shoot up and he looks at me. "You know Paulo, you have great timing." I say to him irritated as hell squeezing my legs together trying to dissolve the ache I am feeling. He chuckles and I turn a little pink at my brazen attitude toward him. "Sorry sis, duty calls."

"And it would be nice if you would fucking get to the point of why you came in here." I can tell Eric may have been leaning on the side of just satisfying our needs. "Sorry man. I need you to review this and sign off on this ASAP. Max wants it on his desk in twenty minutes." Eric purses his lips and turns back to me. "Sorry babe, like he said, duty calls. I will see you later and for heavens sake take it easy ok?" I roll my eyes at him as he leans down kissing me again quickly before he goes to join Paulo who has turned around and left.

I have really got to find a way to loosen him up. There is no way I can last another week, and after what just happened, I don't think he can either.

* * *

I head to my counseling session with the new psychiatrist. We did my session in the infirmary last week but it was fairly boring. He basically asked me about what had happened and my feelings on the situation. He seems like a fairly nice guy and had apparently worked here several years ago before Max hired Lynn. Eric told me that He had decided to open his own practice down in Seattle and was doing quite well for himself. Of course he was very cute, in his late-twenties, with a very handsome smile and an extremely hot austrailian accent.

"Good morning Dani." He greets me at the door. "Good morning Christian." We shake hands as we go sit down. "How was your week?" I laugh out of pure frustration. "That great huh?" He obviously observed the sarcastic look on my face. "Well I was mostly confined in a small room for an entire week, only leaving for small amounts of time, and that is only after spending a week confined to a hospital bed. So lets just say I have been beyond board, with nothing to do but think about stuff."

"What kind of stuff have you been thinking about?" He seems genuinely curious, but I am not about to explain my sexual frustrations to a hot guy that, in a stretch, is young enough for me to date. He tilts his head to the side as if prompting me for an answer and I blush at the thought that just crossed my mind. "Well I definitely have all kinds of theories to what you are thinking but I would much rather hear it from you." Great, does he really know what I was thinking. I rack my brain quickly for something to say. "Um, I am worried about Lynn and the hearing." I tell him. It isn't exactly a lie, I have thought about it, it just isn't what I was thinking about a minute ago. "Why are you worried? You told the truth right?"

"Yes, of course but I am afraid that her reputation far exceeds mine and there is no witnesses to prove my story." He rights something down. "So if there was a witness would you be afraid?" I am a little confused by his question. "No. It happened exactly as I said it did. I didn't touch her until after she stabbed me." I almost don't like the way this is starting to go. "And why would she say it happened differently." _Seriously_. "I don't know, maybe to cover her own ass." He looks at something he has written down. "Max tells me that he has hired you and attorney, what does he say?"

I met with the attorney, Simon, last week. He was a very nice guy. He had me go over exactly what happened. With a little encouragement from Eric, I explained everything exactly as it happened and everything that happened leading up to it. Simon assured me he would only use what was necessary so I explained everything from her little hints to me all the way up to the argument that happened right before she stabbed me. After a lengthy conversation, he said I shouldn't have anything to worry about and that he would work on getting information to collaborate my story, which basically was Eric and Paulo since they were the only two that knew of what was going on. "He told me I shouldn't worry about it, but it isn't just something I can forget. I could end up going to jail for assault, not something I would be too happy about."

"Yeah I think I could understand that, but what I don't understand is why you always seem to think the worst is going to happen." I bite my lip. "Maybe because bad shit is always happening to me." I say quietly before I can stop myself from saying my thoughts out loud. " I looks up at me again. "Not to play devils advocate but you are the one who has been convicted of assault four times. Are you saying that it was never you fault?"

"No, I didn't mean that. I did all of those things but it was a reaction and that is the bad luck part, being put in the situation to begin with." I really don't want to say it. "A reaction to being touched." I look at him confused, "How do you know that?" His lips tighten into a line. "I have been given permission to go over Lynn's session notes. Just as with her, this information will remain confidential." I am curious to know exactly what was in those notes. "Really, and what else did those notes say?"

"Well I did notice that her notice seemed to be a little emotional but only the first couple of sessions actually had relatable notes. Most of the early notes bring reference to your problem with touch. Even since you have been here, there were several incidence in which you were touched and you reacted violently to it." Of course, this couldn't just be an easy few sessions where we restart and we don't have enough time to get through it.

"And let me guess, you want to know why?" He smiles. "Well typically your condition is caused by one of two things. Either you suffered a great traumatic event or you were born with condition causing it. Now Lynn had already verified that this was something you developed in your youth, meaning there must have been a traumatic event causing the issue. Now I am sure you know what it is and it is likely that you do not like to talk about it. Being I do not have proper time, I am more interested in trying to help you to learn to deal with it. How does that sound?" I think I like this guy already. I give him a smile. "I think I like that much better."

"Good. That is what I like to hear. We will need to start out at the basics. Are you able to handle touch form anyone." I bite my lip a little bit. "Yes." I say simply, not sure how much I should actually say. He stands up and comes to sit close to me without actually touching me. I immediately get nervous. Please tell me that he is not going to try to touch me. I can't deal with this shit right now. I feel my chest tightening and I try to discretely wipe the sweat on my hands onto my pants. "Are all of those able to touch you, people in your life prior to your traumatic event?" I look down at my hands and pick at them trying to stay calm, but it isn't working to well. Why can't I just get a normal person, instead of all these crazy assholes. "All but one." I say barely audible trying to focus on the question. He moves his hand toward me slightly and I freeze. Please don't fucking let this shit happen. Then all the sudden he stands and goes and sits back where he was, his expression completely impassive, like nothing just happened. "Sorry, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." I look at him confused. What the fuck did he just do that for?

"Please don't be upset with me, but I needed to see how badly your reaction would be. It helps me know how bad the problem is." I shake my head. "You could have just asked." I say a little more angry then I meant. "Actually I needed to see it in an unstaged environment." I wipe my hands off again on my pants trying to regain my composure. "And what would you have done if I hit you, I am sure you are well aware that it is my natural reaction." He chuckles, "Yes that is a risk I took but I am short on time and again I apologize for making you nervous like that. So I would assume that the one person that can touch you is your new boyfriend, the one all the fuss has been over." He really sounds genuine and I know he is trying to help. He gives my a cute smile and I breath in deeply. "Correct, it is Eric that can touch me."

He smiles as if he just had a major break through and he writes down something before looking at his watch. "Well Dani, I think we got a lot accomplished today so you can go ahead and go. I really want you comfortable when we talk and I know I have upset you which I again apologize for." I am not sure how much we actually accomplished since I really didn't say anything. "I look forward to our next session." He gives me a smile as he walks me to the door. "See you next week." As I walk out I feel little better, he does seem sincere that he wants to help me even giving me some space after pushing my limits. Maybe this guy will be better then the other ones I had seen. In the past, they always wanted me to talk about what happened, and that is just something I didn't want to do.

* * *

At dinner, Eric slipped me a note telling me to meet Marlene at the infirmary at eight thirty. I thought it was a little odd but maybe he just wants us to have some alone time. It would be nice. Everyone was already inside since has become cloudy and is raining a little. I told the guys that I was going over to see Marlene. No one really thought that was odd being I was stabbed a few weeks ago, they probably assume she needed to check it or I needed some medicine. She took out my stitches yesterday which wasn't painful but felt extremely odd. I am not sure if it was the pain meds she had me take before she did it or the fact that she had me put a hot wet rag on it, which she said softened up the stitches.

As I walk into the infirmary Marlene smiles at me. "Hey what's up?" I ask wondering what is going on. "You up for hanging out for a while?" I shrug my shoulders. "Sounds good." She put her paperwork in the locking drawer and then we walk outside and walk around to the outside perimeter of the buildings. My curiosity has peaked, but I don't say anything. "How you feeling today?" She ask breaking the silence as we round the back of the mess haul. "Good actually, it was really nice to get to take a normal shower today." She smiles, "Yeah, I think that would have driven me nuts too." Finally it is too much for me to take. "So where exactly are we going?"

"We are going to my cabin. I thought maybe we could hang out for a while. It is normal for staff to gather in the cabins in the evening just to relax and wind down the day. Since you will be working here soon, I thought you would like to join us tonight." I look over to her, "I didn't know Max told anyone yet."

"He didn't, Eric told Paulo so of course I found out. I think it is awesome, you seem cool and I think we will get along great." I suddenly feel better than I have all week. "Thanks." I tell her with a smile. We walk into her cabin. It looks bigger inside than it does out side. It reminds me a lot of a dorm room only slightly larger. I see a smaller bathroom through a door to the side and there are two beds, two dressers, a small couch and a small round table that has four chairs around it. At the table, Eric, Paulo and Uriah are sitting playing cards. "You guys start without us?" She ask and Eric looks up from his cards and smiles at me as he waves me over to him. I walk over next to him and he wraps his arm around my waist pulling me down by the collar of my shirt to kiss me. "Hey you." He greets me and I smile sweetly at him but I realize quickly everyone is looking at us. I am not use to him being so open with our relationship. "Hi." I say quietly.

Marlene walks over to a mini-fridge that has a microwave on top of it and pulls out a bottle of Corona. She looks at me with an apologetic look. "Sorry Dani but letting a cadet drink in my cabin would cause me to lose my job, it is bad enough I let Uri drink since he is underage." I shrug my shoulders, "Its fine, I take no offense, I understand and don't want you getting in trouble." I really do understand. Marlene smiles as she sits down at the last chair. I look around and there is no other chairs for me to sit in so I debate going to sit on the couch. Eric must feel me tense at the thought and quickly pulls me down to sit in his lap wrapping his arms around me so he can hold the cards and me. I smile shyly.

"What are you guys playing?" I ask curiously. "Poker Eric tells me. Marlene, buy in is forty bucks. You in?" He chuckles, "Of course. I love taking your guys money." She pulls out $40 and gives it to Paulo who hands her a stack of poker chips. "So this is what you guys do to relax at night, play poker and drink." One of Eric's hands moves down to my leg. "Some times. One instructor has to be in the dorm during free time so we trade off and some times we do other things." As he says the last part his hand moves up my leg. I tense a little and I feel him smile on the back of my neck before he kisses it. Damn ass knows what he is doing. "So where is everyone else."

"Christina, Tris and Will are over in Tris cabin and Four and Zeke are in the dorm." I know that Marlene shares a cabin with Tori but she is not here. "Where is Tori?" Marlene looks at me. "Oh, Max and her usually go out for drinks on Sunday nights." Well that is kind of nice. "Do you guys ever all hang out at the same time?"

"No not usually, the cabins are pretty small and Four and Eric don't get along well. But occasionally we have a poker party in the instructors cabin so that we can all play and hang out together." Marlene tells me as she deals out a new hand. I look to Eric, "Why don't you get along with Four?" I presses his lips tightly together. "Four is a dick." I chuckle, raising a eyebrow. "And why is that?"

Paulo speaks up before Eric can. "Four is still pissed at Eric for trying to steal Tris away from him." I am shocked. "What?" I say a little higher than I meant. "It ain't like that princess. Four is just a cocky motherfucker. I didn't like Tris but I knew he did, I just wanted to prove something to Four. He has always thought he was better than everyone else, but I know otherwise." I feel him take a deep breath as he feels me relax a bit. "Besides I helped the fucker, after I kissed her, he got up the damn balls to finally ask her out. If I didn't do that, he probably would have never did it. Look how long it took him to finally propose to her and he probably only did it because she is pregnant." I can't help but be a little surprised by his admission to kissing Tris, but it really doesn't bother me. "Eric be nice." Marlene scolds him.

We spend the next hour just relaxing and talking. It was a nice change to what I have been doing lately. Eric continued to move his hands around me touching lightly in different spots, my thighs, my sides, my arms. Occasionally he would kiss or nip at my neck, it was so normal, almost comforting to feel him in a relaxed environment. I noticed several times that the others also seen it as well and would smile or smirk at him but it didn't bother him. Nothing would have made my night more than if we could have went back to the infirmary but that is no longer a possibility. Not that I think he would actually would have anyway. He was a good thirty dollars up when he says it is time to go.

"Lights out is in five minutes, I got to get her back to the dorm." He tells everyone. I shrug, "I can walk back myself. You stay here and play." He smirks at me, "Now what kind of gentleman would let you walk back to the dorm in the dark by yourself?" Suddenly Marlene laughs hard and Eric turns to glare at her. "Maybe Paulo should walk her home because never in a thousand years would I ever call you a gentleman Eric." I chuckle under my breath. "Fuck off Marlene." He stands up pushing me up as he goes. I don't know how he can stand still since I have been sitting on his legs for over and hour. He stretches. "Paulo count me out and bring my money when you come. Come on babe, lets get you back." He takes my hand, grabbing his sweater from the back of the chair and I say bye to everyone as we walk out the door.

Once we are outside I notice it is still raining, Eric stops me before we can get out from under the small porch outside the door and puts his sweater over my head, coaching my arms through the sleeves. "Don't let them fool you, I can be a gentleman. I just have never seen the need to show it before I met you." He is so damn cute sometimes. He wraps his arm around me and we walk the short distance to the dorm and we stop outside the door leading to mine. "Now that I have walked you home, do I get a good night kiss." I grin at him, loving his playfulness, as I grab the back of his neck and pull him down. "I think I could at least do that much for such a fine gentleman." He smiles and I close the distance between us kissing him passionately.

* * *

 **Well I hope you guys liked it. Let me know what you thing, I always love your reviews and letting me know your thoughts. Only a few chapters left in this book. Until next time!**


	39. Chapter 39

**Hey everyone. Here is one from Eric's POV. Hopefully the length will make up for posting later in the day. Thank you so much to all my faithful fans. You are all awesome, and I love hearing from all of you. Enjoy!**

 **This chapter is rated MA. Proceed with caution.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 39:**

 _(Sunday, September 6th)_

 **Eric POV**

 _Fuck!_ I am really getting tired of waking up this way. Soaking wet from my own sweat with this achy feeling in my stomach. I dreamt about that day again. The dream is so fucking vivid, I always wake up and have to convince myself it didn't happen like that. I had a bad feeling that day that I shouldn't had let her go see Lynn by herself. When Lynn got there that morning she had given me this odd look that sent chills down my spine. I was so tempted just to get Dani to skip her session, but I had already been in so much trouble with Max and Dani and I had just had such a great afternoon. I decided to finish my paperwork and take it to Max instead and let her go to her session. I have torchered myself replaying it in my head so many times.

 _ **(Flash back)**_

 _I sign of on the last daily log and grab the folder with the paperwork in it to take it to Max. Wow that didn't even take fifteen minutes, so much for trying to occupy my mind. I walk through my cadets dorm just to check who ever happens to be in there. It is, of course empty since it is a nice day, everyone is outside. I stop for just a moment at Dani's bed. It is so crazy how I ended up here. I never thought in a thousand years this would be my life, that I would find someone I care about so much. I have been conflicted about some of the feelings I have about her. Paulo told me it sounds like I love her. I am not sure, I don't know what love is. I certainly never had anyone who loved me until I met her. I was beyond shock when she had told me, but is it possible that I love her too. I just don't know. I take a deep breath and decided to take these over to Max and then maybe just sit out on the stage until she is done._

 _I am about to walk out of the dorm and I hear Jeff yell her name. Maybe she got pissed and walk out of Lynn's session. I smile at the thought as I open of the door of the dorm my eyes locking with hers. She is propping herself up on the small platform outside the door and Jeff is running over to her. What the hell is going on. Then I see the blood. My whole world slowed down as the papers in my hand fall to the ground at the same time I see her fall to her side. Four is just coming out of the other dorm. "Four get a fucking ambulance RIGHT NOW!" I yell at him as my legs take off running, not waiting for him to respond, but he grabs his phone out of his pocket quickly. This is not happening, this cannot be happening. Not her, please not her. Several more people begin to converge on her and as I reach her Jeff is about to touch the shiny thing sticking out of the side of her stomach. "Don't fucking touch her, don't move it." I yell at him. Pulling Mike out of my way and kneel down by her head. "This is not fucking happening. Babe I am right her, hold on dammitt, just hold on." I tell her seeing the tears stream down her face. I feel tears beginning to pool in my eyes, but I have to be strong for her. I pick up her head as careful as I can trying not to move the rest of her and I slide my knees under her head, letting it rest on me. I think I needed this contact as much as she wanted it. I push her hair out of her face so I can see her whole face. I can see the life slowly draining out of her face, god please don't let this happen I beg silently. I need her. "Four where is the fucking ambulance!" I scream over my shoulder as I begin losing control of my emotions._

 _Max is at her side a second later, "Dani who did this?" He ask and I see her point in the classroom. Fuck, I just realized that Lynn must have done this. Oh shit, I let her go in, I let Lynn do this to her. I knew something was wrong and I let her go anyway. Her breathing is getting staggered and another wave of dread washes over me. "Hold on babe, you can do this, you are strong. I need to you to hold on." I don't know if I am trying to convince her or myself but I hear the sirens and they are close. She looks over to Jeff and he is crying, she tries to smile at him. She is always trying to make everyone feel better, she is so selfless. Max comes back out, "Paulo, she is out cold, get in there and restrain her hands before she wakes up again." My mouth falls open, she fought back and knocked her out, Christ. Fucking Christ, always so strong. Lynn better hope she doesn't die because I will kill her if she does._

 _Please Dani hold on, I need you babe, please. I just keep repeating it in my head hoping my silent prayer will be answered. I have never been one to believe in God but right now he is the only hope I got. Max says as he kneels beside Dani. "Hold on kid. It's going to be ok. Do you know why she did this?" She looks up at me. "Its my fault." I say before I can stop myself because it is true. "She did it because of me." She shakes her head at me and I can see in her eyes she doesn't believe my words, but I know they are true. I pushed Lynn to this. I should have known she would do something stupid. "What the hell do you mean Eric?" Max demands but I can't speak, I just stare into her eyes. I feel her tears falling over my hand and I feel like my heart is breaking. She is struggling to breath and I know she is slipping away from me. "I love you Eric." She says to me and I hear the finality in her voice. She is giving up, NO! You can't give up dammitt, I hear the ambulance. She has to hold on just a little longer. "Don't you fucking give up on my baby. Come on, I need you to fight, their here, they are going to help you." I look toward the front and see Four running in between the buildings._

 _She brings her hand up over mine and kisses it before closing her eyes. NO, please don't give up on me baby, please, please. "Danielle, no! Fucking fight baby, you have to fucking fight. You promised you wouldn't leave me now fucking fight!" I yell at her not knowing what else to do. I can't lose her, I just can't fucking live without her, I need her. I fucking need her, please. I have to tell her, she needs to know. I bend down kissing her softly, praying that is not the last time I get to kiss her. "I love you Danielle, please, stay for me." I beg her. Her body goes completely limp as the EMT's move in and start assessing her condition. I am frozen in place, my head hovering above hers as a single tear runs down my cheek. The EMTs are shouting stuff back and forth. "Sir, we need you to move back." I shake my head. "I am not leaving her." I say but I feel disconnected. "We need you to move so we can help her." Max jumps up and shouting orders but I don't care. "Come on Eric, let them do their jobs." Paulo says as he pulls at me, but as soon as I am a few feet away I shake him off me. I sit down on the grass my hands on my knees and my hands in pulling at my hair. I am losing the only person I have ever truly loved and it is all my fault. I watch on as they put her on a stretcher. I know people are trying to talk to me but I can't do anything but look at her as they begin to take her away. The perfect girl who came into my life and stole my heart, and now it will die with her._

 _ **(End flash back)**_

I shake my head. I have had that dream many times in the last few weeks but instead of me watching them take her away in the ambulance as I follow, in my dream the EMT turns to me and tell me she is dead and I wake up breathing hard, covered in a pool of my own sweat. I look beside me and it is almost four thirty in the morning. I decide to get up and shower.

Before I go turn on the shower, I look through the door to her dorm. She is sleeping peacefully. Looking a lot like she did those first few day after her surgery. There were a few tense times when I wasn't sure if she would make it. Late on day after her surgery, she had developed a fever which they believed was due to an infection. They had to give her stronger antibiotics then the ones she had been already given to fight any infections from the surgery. I sat there all night just watching her thinking about how much I needed her and how I couldn't live without her. I had a lot of really dark thoughts over those few hours. By morning her fever had broke and they told me that everything looked promising, but we had to just continue to wait and see. I was torched not knowing what would happen. I continued to pray for days that If there was a God he would spare her life.

I go over to the showers and turn the water on as hot as I could stand it. I hoped it would wash away the lingering feelings I have. She is alive. She is ok and I will never let anything happen to her ever again.

I feel much better once I am dressed ready to go out and start my day. The guys are all dragging themselves out of bed and pulling on their workout cloths. We only have two more weeks of this session and then our wrap up week. The bus leave to take the cadet back to Chicago on the 21st. Max has already filed paperwork for Dani to be release directly from here. Max has also offered Jeff an assistant instructor position which he accepted. I am not quite sure where that leaves him and his new girlfriend but I know in my heart, he is staying to protect Dani. I don't think he will try to steal her away from me but what happened to her affected him almost as much as it did me. I think he understands now what she must have felt when she found him. I don't think he will ever stop caring for her but I have come to terms with that. At least if something ever happened to me, he would look out for her.

She has been getting more and more nervous as her court date gets closer. She has to be in court on the 18th. I have already talked to the lawyer and I will likely have to testify against Lynn's behavior leading up to her attacking Dani. He told me that he was working on some confidential stuff with Max but I couldn't get him to elaborate. He had asked me not to worry Dani with it but I really wish I had something more to keep her from worrying so much. I hate seeing her upset about it, even as much as she tries to hide it.

The guys and I go out to the stage and Four gives me a nod. I am a little curious to what that is all about. I wouldn't say we are friends these days, but things seemed to relax between us since he proposed to Tris. The cadets start filing out of the dorms. As Dani comes out, my eyes finding her immediately and I give her a quick wink before composing myself for the day. This is the first day she is allowed to participate in P.T. since she was cleared for physical activity yesterday, but she is under strict orders not to work too hard and I will make sure of that. I told Four he will be leading today so that I can roam. I know her, she will push herself hard to prove she is ok. She has been doing all week already.

The sexual tension between us is so thick right now I swear I am suffocating around her. Cold showers have become a daily thing for me, but I am determined to make sure she is ok first which Marlene gave me the ok last night so I will definitely be taking advantage of that some time today, I don't care what I have to do to get her alone. She has been egging me on for weeks. I had a momentary lapse of judgment the night of the bonfire, mainly because I was so drunk, falling asleep just to wake up to her massaging my shit. I still can't believe she did that.

Max gives his little speech and the rankings appear on the screen. I look up realizing I didn't check them last night after Four put in his report. Dani is first. I suppress the smile on my face as I look at Dani who is grinning from ear to ear. I know she has been working hard to bounce back and it appears Four has noticed it too.

Max departs and Four starts us off. There isn't much need for the extra instructors anymore. We shout out a few comments every once in a while if someone is being lazy but more the most part, the cadets are in really good shape, they know all the exercises and don't have a hard time keeping up. Four calls out to run laps. Usually Dani and I would take the lead but I grab her arm letting everyone else take off first. "Ease back into it." I say sternly. Ranking first must have put her in a good mood because she rolls her eyes but listens. We run quietly together in the back of the group. I can tell she is having a hard time keeping up since she hasn't worked out for the last several weeks other than the laps she walked around the court yard this week.

I had to remind her to slow down a bit during the rest of the work out but she made it through although she was quite winded. I called her and Tara up to collect there prizes for ranking in the top two and dismiss the rest of the cadets. This was the first time Tara has made it into the top and she looks ecstatic. She chooses the Ipod and I dismiss her. I go to hand Dani the tablet, but she looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "I already know what is on the list." I smirk at her. "And your choice." I say trying not to laugh. "I would like to go out to lunch." My eyes fall to the ground and I bite my lip. Max had already talked to me about this.

"What?" She asked confused. "Um, I am sorry babe but Max said you can't go out of camp for the next few weeks." I see anger cross her face but she takes a deep breath. "And why exactly is that?" I know her anger is also part of the disappointment of not getting to spend the afternoon with me. "Sorry princess. He doesn't want chancing you running into Lynn. If it makes you feel any better, I have also been told I am not allowed to go out either until this is over with. He is just being cautious." She looks down and kicking the ground. Well he said she couldn't leave, not that we couldn't have lunch here. "How about we have a quiet lunch here?" She looks up at me through her lashes. "Really?" She says softly and I really wish I could wrap her in my arms right now. "Don't worry, I will figure out everything alright?" She bits her lip and she looks so fucking hot. "Okay. I will see you late." She smiles and heads back to the dorm. I watch her for a moment before heading off to make some arrangements.

* * *

My morning has been really busy. Max keeps pestering me for the weekly logs and to get me to get all the physical assessments done for all the cadets for their files. Things always get crazy during the last few weeks of camp. I ask Tris if she would go get Dani for me while I take Max the paperwork in my hands and have her meet me at Marlene's cabin. She agrees and I hurry to go drop off the paperwork.

As I exit Max's office I see Tris and Dani waiting for me. I walk quickly across the court yard. I suddenly am a little nervous. I am not sure why, this was my idea. Marlene and Tori were gracious enough to let me use their cabin for a quiet lunch, but of course Marlene had to go overboard, going all out when I explained why I needed it. She had Christina make some of her delicious chicken fettuccine, and garlic bread. I am still not sure what else since Marlene told me not to worry about it, knowing her there is a five course meal. She also had Paulo tell me if we fuck on her bed, I better change the sheets. I almost double over laughing since it hadn't really crossed my mind at the time, but it sure as hell sounded like a good idea. I could just see Marlene's discussed face telling Paulo. I really will have to thank her for letting us borrow the cabin.

I reach the girls and Tris gives me a little smile. "Thanks Tris." I tell her with a smile. She just nods as she walks away. "Hey babe." I greet Dani and kiss her on her cheek. "Hope your in the mood for pasta." She does her little shy smile and I grab her hand pulling her into the cabin. I am momentarily shocked when I see that the table is all set nice and pretty with a few flowers and lit candles and there is soft music playing on her stereo. _Marlene_. I quickly compose my face and look at Dani. Her shock much more apparent as she just stares at the the table. I continue looking at her while I wait, letting her get her bearings. She looks at me with a huge smile after a few seconds. "Wow," is all she can say. I kiss her on the cheek again and pull her over to the table that has two place setting set up next to each other. I pull out her chair for her and then take a seat in the one next to her.

There wasn't a five course meal but we have pasta, a salad, a basket of garlic bread and one large piece of chocolate cake, which I assume we are to share. There is also a bottle of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc wine. I am not even sure I want to know where she got this. "Well I think my little joke of calling you prince charming may be rubbing off on you." She says smiling over at me. I bite my lip at the slightly sarcastic tone. She knows it wasn't all me. "So who helped you out putting this together?" I try to look shocked. "Who says I didn't do this myself?" She laughs. "Well for one the radio is playing Journey. Not so much your listening style." She knows my play list and she is correct. Not my style. "And second?" I prompt her. "And second, I have been watching you all morning running around like a chicken with his head cut off, you were way too busy to put this together." She is always so observant and quite right.

I give in. "Okay, so asked for Marlene for a little help and she went a little overboard." I grab the bottle of wine which was already opened and pour us each a glass. "But with that being said. I think she did a great job. Here is to excellent lunch date." I tap my glass against her and take a large drink. Excellent choice of wine I have to admit. "There is one thing I have to change though." I say as she takes a drink of hers. I get up and pull my Ipod out of my pocket and attach it to the radio and press play on Dani's playlist, but I keep it low in the background. She laughs at me, "Much better." She tells me.

I sit down and putting my napkin in my lap. The food smells really good and I pick up my fork and notice Dani is staring at me. "What?" I ask a little worried I did something wrong. She takes another long sip of her drink. "You know..." She stands and slides quickly between me and the table, to sit on my lap facing me. She takes another sip of her wine before setting it down on the table and wrapping her arms around my neck. "Ever since I was cleared for physical activity I have been waiting to be alone with you." Her hunger for sex drives me fucking wild. It takes about two seconds for me to get hard. I look at her lips and I just want to feel them on me right now. I bite back my need for a second.

I kind of like her taking control like this and I wish to let her play it out. "Is that so, and why is that?" I question her trying to hold in my smile. She leans down and runs her teeth across the side of my jaw back to my ear. "Come on Eric. I know how difficult it has been for you." She rocks her hips and I breath in deeply. She softly bits my earlobe. "Your already hard under me baby. Are you going to sit there and say you don't want it." _Fuck yes I do!_ "Hmm, maybe." I try to play it off rocking my hips a bit as my pants start to get tight and uncomfortable. She kisses down my neck to my shoulder before she bites down and I let out an involuntary moan as I grab her hips. I fucking want her so badly right now. If she had a skirt on, I wouldn't let her move from this spot, I would be buried in her already. "Sounds like you want it to me. Do you want it baby?" She says against my neck. My hands tighten on her, but I am not done teasing her. "Don't you want to eat your lunch princess?" I say but my voices is much more raw than I intended. She brings her face up to look me in my eyes. "Fuck lunch, I want you in me _now_." Her voice so full of need.

I close my eyes as her words sink in and I crash my lips to hers hard. It has been far too long and I need to feel her around me. "Good." I say breaking our kiss for a moment before I grab her tightly to me as I stand up. She is momentarily caught off guard from my quick motions bringing her over to the bed. I am glad I locked the door when I closed it behind me. I pull Marlene's bed cover off and carefully lower us both onto the bed not wanting to hurt her. I lay only half on her making sure to not go to the side of her wound.

I am way to excited already, I need to slow down a minute or I am going to come undone in my pants. I slow my kiss down a little as I slide my hand under her shirt and under her sports bra. She moans into my mouth making me smile. She is so reactive to my touch, I love it. Shit, I need to get her close and quickly. I move my hand down to undo her pants and I quickly slide my hand down and inserting my fingers as she gasp. _Holy fuck_ , she is so damn wet already making me let out a low growl. She pulls my hair hard as I quickly work my fingers in her. It only takes a minute before a feel her body starting to tense, I am beyond shocked. Does she not play with her self? No way she went this entire time without relieving her own need for an orgasm. She has been all over me for weeks so I know she had to be aching for it.

I remove my fingers quickly and she whines my name, but I want feel this with me buried deep in her. I remove her pants and underwear as she kicks off her boots. I have my pants off in record time. I am position myself between her legs but I see her shirt is slightly bunched up and I see the still red line on her stomach. I lean down and kiss it softly before I roll over bring her up so she is straddling me. She shrieks in surprise. I don't want to be worried about hurting her. After her moment of surprise she positions herself over me. She sinks onto me painfully slowly moaning the whole way down and I feel her tight wall flutter around me slightly. She feels even better than I remember. I hold her in place for a moment until I am sure I won't cum immediately.

I breath deeply and I can feel her trying to tug as I hold her hips in place. "Slow." Is all I can get out as I loosen my grip. She begins rocking against me slowly and I put my head back as I take in the most wonderful feeling in the world. As I start pushing my hips up to meet hers she picks up the pace I can't hold on much longer as she moans my name again. She feels so fucking good and I love hearing her call out my name. She begins moving even faster. I feel her muscles get tense and she tightens around my extremely swollen cock. "Babe come for me now." I say roughly because I know she is on the edge and without fail her orgasm hits her extremely hard. I pull her forward one more time as her orgasm squeezes me unbelievably tight and I spill into her with unimaginable force. "Fuck Danielle." I try to say but it comes out in an odd broken form as I continue to move her against me so we can ride it out together.

Finally she collapses on my chest. "Christ woman, did you miss me." She hums into my chest. "You are amazing." I tell her as I kiss the top of her hair. She hums again and I smile remembering her have the same reaction at the cabin. I sit up bringing her with me and she smiles as she looks up into my eyes. I could get lost in those beautiful green eyes. "Come on, our lunch is getting cold." I can see that lunch isn't what she wants. I kiss her on her forehead and lay her down beside me as I get up and put my pants back on but I removed my tank top and tee shirt since my tank top is sweaty. I pick up her pants and remove her underwear out of them throwing them at her and depositing her pants back on the floor.

She gives me a confused look. I sit back down next to her. "Is this your way of telling me you want to have lunch with me in just my underwear?" She jokes with me, but I just put on a serious face. "I'm not done with you yet, and I want unimpeded access." I see the lust cross her eyes. "But first I need to get some food on you so you have the energy to keep up." She giggles and it is so fucking adorable. I kiss her again and get up and sit down at the table filling up our wine glasses again.

She joins me a few seconds later. This probably isn't the right time to ask but I need to get this out. "Hey babe?" She looks at me as she grabs a piece of bread. "Christian stopped me earlier." She stops and looks at me in wonder. "He wants me to join your session today." She looks down a little nervous. "Why would he ask that?" She ask me and I can tell it makes her nervous. "I told him I would only do it if you were ok with it." She bites her lip and I know she is debating it. I take a bite of my food giving her time to think it out. I don't want her to be uncomfortable. "It's fine, I don't mind." I look up a little shocked. "Your sure?" She nods her head. "Yes, I don't mind." I really wish I knew what was going through her head right now, but I don't want to push her.

I reach over and squeeze her thigh and feel as she presses them together. I smile as I would love to take her again right now and it seems she would like that but I want her to eat. She hasn't been eating very much again. She always gets food but she mostly pushes it around on her plate while she talks with everyone. I have hard time eating because I can't keep my eyes her. Her bare legs, her lips as she takes slow bites. I am getting more and more impatient to have her again. I sit back after a few minutes of us eating in a comfortable silence. I grab my wine and just watch her. I am one fucking lucky son of a bitch. I still can't believe she is mine.

After a minutes, she realizes I am watching her. "Like what you see?" She ask as she licks her lips and I hit my breaking point. I grab her hand and pull her out of her seat pulling her over to me. I scoot my chair back a little and pull her between my legs before pulling her to sit on my leg. "Princess, I could look at you all day." She blushes and she leans down to kiss me. "I could say the same about you." She runs her hand down my bare chest. I love feeling her touch. Inspiration hits me. "You know, I think I am ready for desert." She gives me a questioning look. I reach over to the cake scooping some frosting on my finger as I use my other hand to pull her hair back off her neck.

"I think this may taste better on you." I put the frosting in a streak across her neck. I see her close her eye for a moment before she catches my hand in both of hers. She looks me in my eyes as she pulls my finger into her mouth sucking off the remaining frosting. _Christ that is hot_. My chest rumbles as I feel the shiver that runs down me. I wrap my hand in her hair pulling it to the side so I have plenty of room. She closes her eyes and I attack her neck. She lets out a moan and this frosting really does taste better on her.

I want to know if my thoughts from earlier are right. I grab her hand and begin to pull it down between her legs. She pulls her hand back. "Eric?" She whispers but I don't stop licking and biting her neck. "I want to feel you play with yourself." I bite at the sensitive spot on her neck and she moans again. "I don't know if I can do that." She whispers. I pull back a little to look at her. I raise an eyebrow at her. "You telling me you never play with yourself." She looks down immediately and her embarrassment shows on her face as she shakes her head no. I knew it and I can't help but smile.

I lift her chin so she will meet my eyes. She tries to look down, "Don't be embarrassed babe, I will show you." I still see the hesitation in her eyes. I kiss her gently to relax her and after hesitating for a moment she kisses me back. I lock my fingers over the back of her hand and move it slowly down her stomach. As we get to the bottom of her stomach, I flatten my hand over the back of hers and move it over her underwear. I feel her swallow hard but she doesn't stop, I move her underwear aside and coax her fingers to circle her clit. She moans into my mouth. "Don't stop." I mumble to her as I rest my head on her shoulder and look down removing my hand from hers. I watch her play with herself I am hard as a rock. "That is so fucking hot. I need you now babe. Stand up." She complies and I quickly undo my pants again releasing myself.

I pull her forward so she is straddling me, and pull her down sliding into her. It takes no time before she starts moving. She feels absolutely amazing tight and hot around me. I swear if I died right now, I would be the happiest man on the earth. We get lost in our rhythm as I alternate kissing her lips and her neck. When she begins to get close I move my hand down and use my thumb to circle her sensitive spot. "That's right baby, let go." Her orgasm hits hard at my words and I let myself follow as she screams my name.

* * *

I head over to her counseling session which is the last of the day. I stayed behind in the cabin to clean up the table and change the sheets. Marlene had left some at the foot of the bed. I am really going to have to do something for Marlene. That was a fucking awesome lunch, spending time with her alone. Only a few more weeks and I can have her all to myself for more than a few hours. I can't wait.

I walk into the classroom and she is already sitting there. She looks a little nervous as Christian waves me in and I take a seat next to her. "Hello Eric. I was just explaining to Dani that I would just like to get another persons perspective on things. You likely have been the most observant of her during her time here."

"Okay." I smile at her to try to get her to relax. "I really want to get down to the difference in her reactions." He says and I am curious to what he is getting at. "I have several reports that show incidences here at the camp. One she reacted violently immediately and the other one was after a minute. Would it be fair to say it seems she to just react when something takes her by surprise, where as, when it is something slow and deliberate, she reacts out of anger?" I think back to all the times I have seen it. "Yes, that seems to be the case."

"Have you ever seen her not react?" I look to her and I really don't want to say anything she doesn't want me too. "Yes, when she was practicing self defense with her childhood friend. She just froze." He turns toward her. "So this a friend prior to the event correct." She just nods her head and I can tell that she is uncomfortable. "So you have the ability to control it then." He says but it isn't really a question. She looks up at him. "But that is only with my friends like Jeff."

"That isn't true. You held back when I did it." My eyes snap up to his and my anger is through the roof. "You did what to her?" I seethe and his eyes get wide. "Calm down Eric, I never touched her. I simply wanted to see her reaction and if she could restrain her reaction. I needed to see how bad it got." She puts her hand on my leg and I breath trying to calm down. "The point is, she didn't attack me out of anger which is her normal reaction, but it did put her into a panic attack." He smiles, "Dani why did you hold back when I threaten to touch you." She shrugs, "I was determined not to get in trouble again. I am hoping to stay here as a employee." He writes something down before turning back to me.

"Eric, has it ever seemed like she was intimated by you?" I think about that for a minute. "Maybe a little but she seemed to fight it, determined to prove me wrong." She smiles and I wonder what she is thinking about. "So Dani, I am thinking the key to helping you is to teach you to control your emotional reactions. Learning not to let people catch you off guard, learning to not let your anger take over, but above all using your determination to overcome your issues. Then it is a matter of learning some breathing techniques to help you work through the panic attacks." I am shocked but his reasoning makes sense. She must think so too because she is smiling.

"Eric, thank you for coming by. I would like to finish up with Dani one on one." I hesitate for a second before I turn and kiss her on her temple and getting to my feet and i look back at him. "Christian, in the future, keep your distance." I tell him as a warning. He just laughs at me. "Eric, he is trying to help me." Dani scolds me. I take a deep breath and make my way toward the door. "See you at dinner." I say and she smiles at me sweetly "Looking forward to it." I leave and head for my dorm to shower.

I really need to control my own emotions. I trust her, I just worry about her. Trouble always seems to find her.

* * *

 **So what did you think. I really had to do what Eric saw that day. It has been stuck in my head. I really hope you liked it, this was one of my longest chapters and it was from Eric. Let me know what you think as this is coming to a close. I am still brainstorming the sequel. Until next time.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Sorry guys. My hubby went back to nights so I will probably start posting these at night instead of morning. Here is a bit of a filler chapter. Hope you all enjoy it. As always, thank you so much to my reviewers and to all my readers, you are all the greatest! Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 40:**

 _(Saturday, September 12th)_

 _Wow,_ it is absolutely incredible. I cannot believe we only have one more week of camp. Time here has flown by and so much has happened. I almost lost my best friend, I fell in love, and then I had to deal with a crazy ex-girlfriend that almost killed me. Eric told me there is usually one or two crazy things that happen each session but this time around, it seemed to be a lot more crazy. I turn and smile at him as we eat breakfast and he puts his hand on my knee squeezing it lightly. We have been trying hard to behave ourselves and don't touch much unless we are alone. It is not always easy to do and occasionally Eric will find reasons to touch me in class but other than that he behaves rather well.

I still haven't stopped worrying about the court date that is coming up this coming Friday. Both Simon and Eric have told me over and over to stop but I can't. However, we do have exams this coming week which will hopefully be a welcome distraction. We have a final exams Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday for all of our educational classes, and test for our physical classes on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. That is what I will be focusing on for the week. I need to make sure to do well on them so I can get my credits. I honestly hate school and didn't want to go back to school anyway. Jeff was excited to find out that Washington State has high school online so he will be able to finish up his schooling here.

This is almost becoming bittersweet. It will be sad not to be around these guys anymore. I have become really good friends with just about everyone, even Leeann even though she gets on my nerves. We have been wrapped up in this bubble for so long, it is going to be weird going back to the real world. For me it is going to be even more weird because I am not going back to my old life, I'm starting a whole new one. New home, new job, new city, it is all kind of a big leap. I am staying here at the camp for a week after everyone goes back to Chicago. Eric has to do his post week at camp and the staff will be bringing me up to speed on different things. Jeff is going back with everyone but will be back the week prior to the next session, in November.

Everyone seems excited today. Not only is it Jeff's birthday today but we found out this morning we are playing capture the flag tonight with paintballs. It is a tradition to do it the Saturday prior exams to help blow off some steam before we have to really study. It sounds like a lot of fun and I can't wait. What could be more fun then chocolate cake for dinner and paintball after lights out?

Most of the male staff will be setting up out in the large field for the majority of the day when they are not in class. Since Eric has the second class of the day, he gets up telling Zeke and Uriah it is time to get to work and with a wink to me he leaves. I hate waiting, I wish we could play now but it will be more fun at night and in our afternoon class instead of hiking, we get to practice shooting the paintball guns.

I only wish Paulo was with Eric group for that class, but I don't mind Paulo. He is incredibly funny and is always dropping ridiculously inappropriate comments when others aren't paying attention. I have recently learned he is a lot like and older version of Uriah. I find it funny to beginning learning all the things that happen in the background at camp. Uriah and Zeke are quite the pranksters. They have pissed off Eric several times the last few weeks and I have a feeling some of those irritating days he had in the beginning of camp had something to do with them.

* * *

I make it to our hiking class which we are using to practice shooting paintballs today. We are lined up behind the mess haul where there are human shaped targets that have been put up along the wall. Paulo has us all pick up a paintball gun and then he shows us how to shoot them along with the proper stance when standing still and when moving. When he is done, he has us line up for practice.

These guns are similar the the small assault rifles I have shot before except they have a ball catch attached to the top and they are lighter. They are definitely nicer than the paint ball guns I have used before. I personally love to go paint balling with my brother and his friends. We don't get to do it much but we have fun when we do. In fact my brother and I are not allowed to be on the same team when we go because we always win when we do.

I line up and it takes me just a few minutes to get the hang of the gun. After that I hit the center ring that is on the persons chest and head until they are completely covered in yellow paint. "Damn your good." Royce says to me. I shrug my shoulders. "I like to shoot guns. What can I say, my dad taught me at an early age." He nods his head and keeps practicing. "You really should open your stance just a little, and then take a breath, freeze and shoot." He follows my instructions and his aim improves significantly.

"You trying to take my job now Dani?" Paulo says behind me. "Not yet, but if you want to keep it, you better start teaching these guys to shoot better." I smile and laugh at him and line up another shot. I take the shot just as he kicks my foot throwing me off balance and my shot hits high up on the wall. "You better be careful or Max is going to have you painting the wall." He laughs and he continues down the line. "Butt head." I yell to him but he ignores me and I continue to practice.

* * *

We all gather out at the stage at ten, just as the lights turn off in the dorm. Eric came around a little while ago and gave us all padded vest to wear. They are suppose to help soften the hit with the paint balls. Max, Tori, Eric and Four are all on the stage. Max and Tori look odd wearing all white outfits, that seems to almost glow a soft blue color, instead of their normal black clothes. "Alright listen up. This is a basic game of capture the flag. If you are hit, you sit down and remain there until the end of the game. No discharging your weapon, not helping your team. Max and Tori will be floating around to referee the game." Eric bellows out so we all can here but is cut off by Max. "And a word of warning, shooting at the head is off limits and if either Tori or I are hit, you will be running laps for an entire day." He looks back to Eric who nods his head and continues. "The first team to grab their opponent's flag, wins. Any questions?"

"And what do we get if we win?" Joseph ask. Eric turns to glare at him. "The pride of saying you won! Sometimes that is worth more than any other reward you can get." Joseph looks down and shrugs his shoulders. "Alright Four and I are captains, should we start with the cadets?" He looks to Four and he waves to Eric to choose first. Eric smiles and looks down. "I'll take Danielle." He still insist on calling me by my full name and I have to say I don't mind when it is coming from him. "I'll take Jeff." Four says quickly and they continue spiting the rest of us up and then split up the staff. When they were done Eric team included, myself, Patrick, Mike, Royce, Terrie, John, Paulo, Uriah, and Christina. Four's got, Jeff, Huck, Tara, Steven, Leeann, Joseph, Tris, Zeke, and Will. Marlene is sitting out in case someone got hurt. "Okay, follow your captains to your side of the field and come up with a strategy. The game starts when you hear the gun shot from Max. You got ten minutes." Eric yells out to everyone.

I follow Eric and we go out to the field and to our left. I see a glowing green flag in the corner of the field, in the opposite corner, there is a red flag, both of them are atop something but I am not sure what. I can see shadows of objects all over the field. As we gather behind our flag I can see that there are stacked wood boxes that stair step up to the top where the flag sits. They must be all those boxes that were stacked behind the gym and mess haul. I had always wondered what they were for. Eric hands us all four green light sticks on strings and tells us to clip them on to the shoulder of our vest so two hang down the front one on each side and two down the back. I take mine and find the clips to attach mine. Once we are done he directs us to each grab the already loaded guns at the foot of the wood box. "Alright cadets, what do we do?" We all look at him for a second. "What is the best strategy, this is an exercise for you guys, the staff is just here to have a little fun." Eric says smirking at us. "But be warned, I hate losing."

"Well we can take a sports stance to this, we can have an offense and a defense. Half of us stay and defend, the other half go try to get their flag." Mike spits out quickly. I smirk at him. "That is a good idea except that Huck is all about sports and that is likely to be their stance as well." I see a smile tug at Eric's mouth in the low light. "What if we just leave one person to defend and the rest of us bull rush them." Uriah says. "I don't think that is going to work Uri." Christina pipes up and then everyone starts talking all at once. I start to get frustrated and then I get an idea. I go over to the wood boxes, suddenly I feel Eric behind me. "Penny for your thoughts?" He ask quietly. "Recon." I tell him and he smiles at me.

The boxes are each about four and a half feet tall and the ones in our corner are stacked three tall in a 'T' formation. "Here let me." He says but I shake my head. "I can do this Eric. I am stronger than you think." I say irritated that he doesn't think I can do it. "Relax, I just wanted you to save your energy princess, no need to get hostile. I know you are plenty strong enough, I was merely being a gentleman. Here," He grabs me by my waist and basically lifts me to the top of the first box and I pull my self up. "Thanks." I say sweetly to him as an apology and then I climb the next box and peek over the top of the third box where our flag is sticking out. It is hard to make out the people but I can see their light sticks fairly easy. I can see they are splitting themselves into two groups. I quickly look around the field and notice the scattered boxes. There is just enough moon light that I see the darker shadows of them. I note their positions and quickly climb down, allowing Eric to help me down from the last box and I feel him grab my ass. "So much for being a gentleman prince charming." I smile at him and then walk over to our group.

Everyone is still bickering and we are running out of time. Thankfully Eric breaks in, "If you all want to shut up for a second, I think Dani has something that will help." I am almost shocked that he used my nickname. Everyone quiets down. "Thank you Eric." I say. "Hey just because you are the bosses booty call doesn't mean you call the shots." John says rudely. _Oh shit._ I see Eric starting to move toward John so I step between them. "First of all John, if I was just a booty call then I would have slept with you when you kissed me thinking you could get some, so stop being a jealous dick. Second, I can't help that I was smarter than you and actually decided to do a little recon before we made a plan so back the fuck off." I hear Patrick try to hold back a laugh and I feel Eric's chest rumble as well.

"Now if you are done being a pain in my ass. I would like to tell you all that they are forming two teams. Also that the boxes in the field are formed into a diamond shape with four different layers. We are at one tip of the outside one and they are at the other tip. My _suggestion_ is that we break up into three teams. One stay and defend and the other two attack from opposite sides. One hides while the other attacks drawing all of their defensive group to one side and the others sneak in behind." John just looks at me dumbfounded. "Um, yeah, anyone got a problem with her plan." Paulo ask with a little sarcasm in his voice and I can tell he approves of my plan. Some shake their heads no and the others just keep quiet.

"So how should we split up?" John ask seemingly agreeing with my plan. "I say, Terrie, Royce, Christina and Patrick stay to defend setting up two on each corn of the flag wall and one out on each side at the outside box. Uriah, Paulo, John, and Mike go to the right and draw the fire, Eric and I will go to the left and work our way on the out side of the diamond. And before you can say it John, I say Eric and I because we are probably the best shooters here and we can defend ourselves best if we run into trouble." Royce steps forward, "She ain't lying man, you should have seen her at practice today." Patrick nods his head too. He knows I grew up shooting guns. John looks at me. "Actually I was going to ask why not three people." It was a valid questions. "Because we need to stay as hidden as possible, the more people we have the more likely we will be seen since we can remove or cover our lights." He shrugs his shoulders. "Ok." I hear the gun shot. "We good?" Eric ask everyone and they nod their heads. "Make sure you give us enough time to get over there." I say to Paulo. He nods and we start moving out.

Eric and I stay back a little letting them all move away from the flag before we move out to the left staying low behind the outside boxes. We quickly move from box to box. Once we round the corner half way down the field, I feel Eric grab the back of my vest right before I am about to run to the next box. I am confused and I look back as he pulls me to the ground so he is laying over me and we are tight against the box. I am about to ask him what is going on when I hear whispered voices. We stay still for another moment and they pass us right on the other side of the box.

As soon as I hear them pass I lean up in Eric ear. "Let's go." I pull back to see his grin. "You know. This is super hot you being all in control and shit." His voices is full of lust. I laugh quietly. "Good to know. We win this thing and I will give personally give you a reward in private." He kisses me hard and I let out a quiet moan into his mouth as I feel his hands grab my hips tightly. "Let's fucking do this then. I loss to Four last year and I am not going to do it again. Not to mention, I would love to get that reward."

We get up and start moving again quickly from one box to another. When we are only a few boxes a way I can see there are two figures behind the boxes leading up to the flag. "There are two people guarding the flag behind the wall." He pulls me behind him so he can peak around the corner. Suddenly we hear a bunch of shouting and a flurry of activity. "It's working they are all going to that side but Jeff and Four are staying put. This is what we are going to do, you stay behind me, as soon as you hear me shoot Four, you shoot Jeff, use me as a shield if you need to and then get your fine ass up there and get that flag." He is so damn cute, but I also know he wants to take control so I let him. "Ten-Four captain." I joke with him.

He tries not to laugh as he crouches. "Stay low and don't let go of the back of my vest until you get him." I give him a nod and we start to move. Four and Jeff are at each corner but both are turned mostly toward the other side where there are a bunch of people shouting and you hear the puffs of the paintball guns. We are almost there when Four, who is closes to us, turns quickly and I hear two shots at the same time and I quickly release my shot hitting Jeff square in the back "Fuck" I hear all three of them say in unison as they all sit down. I laugh quickly jumping up onto the first box. "Sorry boys, looks like this is a job for a woman." I jump up on the second box and I hear Jeff, "Better go get one then." He jokes with me and I turn to see Eric stretch out and punch him in the arm. "I was just kidding man." He says as he rubs his arm.

Suddenly I see paint splatter right in front of me on the box. Someone must have seen me up over the box. I duck down quickly. "Oh shit. That was close" I take a deep breath and stand grabbing the flag pulling it off the pole and giving a loud whoop. "Hell yeah princess," I hear Eric say behind us and I look over to the other side of the field to see that they were fighting over on the other side too but I got to the flag first! Max blows a whistle and announces Eric's team has won. My team on both sides of the field start shouting out their hooray's.

I climb back down quickly and Eric gives me a quick kiss before anyone else comes into view. "Good job princess." He says as the part of our team that was our decoy comes rounding the back side of the boxes. Paulo and Eric look at each other before each grab one of my legs and lifted me up on their shoulders. I yelp in surprise and then raise flag shouting of our victory as everyone starts walking toward the firepit in the middle of the field. I am on the top of the fucking world!

* * *

 **I just had to do a chapter for capture the flag. Let me know what you guys thought of it. I tried to change it up just a little bit. The next chapter is her court date and then maybe one or two after that before this comes to a close. Until next time.**


	41. Chapter 41

**Here is another chapter and I am sad that this book is coming to a close, but don't be upset. I have decided to do the sequel. So please read on. I have to say I am not a lawyer nor do I work in the court system, I just went off what I know and found on the internet. I apologize in advance if anything is incorrect. As always, thank you so much for your guys feed back. It really is great to hear from all of you. Also thanks again to all my readers. Enjoy.**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 41:**

 _(Friday, September 18th)_

I am extremely nervous sitting here waiting for Max to come get me. I have to be in court in a little over an hour. I have been excused from my classes today and Max and Eric will be taking me to Ellensberg where court will take place. Everyone wished me good luck as they all left to go to the first class and now I am just sitting her on my bed all alone with my thoughts. Marlene was gracious enough to lend me a conservative long black skirt and a blue button up blouse since I only have uniform clothes. The fit is a little snug but it isn't too bad. At least the long skirt hides my boots because they look more along the line of combat boots instead of dress boots and my feet are too big to fit into any of the girls shoes. I hate having bigger feet.

Eric walks in and gives me a smile. "You ready?" I nod my head and smile because I know my voice will betray me. He stops me in front of him wrapping and arm around my waist and using his other hand to force my head up to look into his eyes. "Don't worry. Everything will be fine. I promise, I won't let anything happen to you." He leans down and kisses me gently before grabbing my hand which I graciously take and he leads me to the front of the camp.

"Good morning Dani. Ready to go." Max says way to cheerfully and I can tell it is forced. I nod at him and Eric opens the rear door for me before going around the passenger side to get in the front seat. He really can be a gentleman. I smile slightly as he gets in and looks back at me. How did I get so lucky?

* * *

We drive in silence and the closer we get the more my stomach turns into knots. Eric was very displeased when I refused to eat my breakfast but I really think it is for the best. It is likely I would not be able to keep down any food with my nerves like this. I am not sure why I am so nervous. I have been in a court room dozens of times. Maybe it is because this is the first time I have ever been in adult court, or maybe it is because I have to see Lynn again. I have literally been talking to myself to remain calm when I see her instead of instantly jumping up to kick her ass. I know that would not look good at all considering she is claiming it was in self defense. _Stupid cunt_. Just to be safe, I told Eric how I felt about seeing her and he promised he would stay between the two of us and would keep me from doing anything stupid.

When we pull up to the court, we find Simon quickly who is waiting outside for us. "Any word?" Max ask him and he shakes his head no. "Good morning Dani." He smiles and nods to me. "I just spoke with the prosecuting attorney from the District Attorney's office and as of now they have not been able to come to an agreement with Lynn so this is going to go forward." I look at him confused. "What do you mean go forward?"

"I will explain it all to you after we are done. I still am not sure of all the facts since we have to wait for the judges decision and we have to see if Lynn is going to maintain her self defense plea. We really should be going in. I would like to introduce you to the prosecutor who is in charge of this case." And again I am confused. "So if he is the prosecuting attorney then what are you? I apologize, I am just a little confused." He smiles at me. "That is ok. I am your attorney, I am here for you, basically representing the victim, which is also why you have not had to meet with him yet. He has been meeting with me and I will make all decisions to make sure it is in your best interest no matter what that may be. The district attorney office is who filed charges on the government's behalf against Lynn and will be the prosecuting attorney in this case. Does that make sense." I nod my head now that I think I understand this a little more. "Ok, please if there is anything you need to say, let me know quietly at any time. Do not speak up, try not to even make a face at her. We do not want to give her any fuel for the fire." I take a deep breath. "Ok, lets do this." He nods and we head inside.

After going through security we go to the courtroom. As we are walking in, my eyes immediately see Lynn sitting at a table in front of the divider which separates the benches and the front of the court room. There are several people standing around. I freeze as she looks back finding my eyes. She looks all nice in a fitted woman's suit. If I didn't know any better, she almost looked like she was one of the lawyers sitting around her. Eric puts a hand on the small of my back to coax me forward. "Breath." He whispers in my ear. What he probably didn't know is that I am holding my breath out of anger, not fear. All I want to do right now is beat her until she can no longer move.

I manage to keep my face composed as we walk to the very front bench. Eric moves me away from Lynn toward the other side where their is another table and three man standing behind it. I notice that Eric makes an attempt to move so that Lynn is no longer in my view. Simon greets the men shaking all of their hands. "Dani, this is the prosecuting attorney, Brian Leeks. Brian this is Danielle Courtney." He man smiles and shakes my hand. "Nice to meet you Ms. Courtney. Nice to finally meet you."

"Call me Dani please. It is nice to meet you as well." He nods at me. "All rise." I look over his shoulder as the bailiff bellows. "The honorable James T. Smith presiding." As he is saying his spill, a older man enters the court room and proceeds to the Judges chair. "You may be seated." The judge say once he has sat down himself. We sit in the benches and Eric rest his arm behind me on the bench. Lynn gives me a cold look before her attorney give her a nudge and she turns around toward the front. "Your honor, this is case 15-965896, The State of Washington verses Lynn S. Wilkins, all parties are present." The bailiff says to the judge and then steps back to his spot and the judge nods.

"Mr. Leeks, I have read over the papers and I see that no agreement has been made at this time, is that correct." He looks over at the prosecutor as he stands. "Correct your honor, we have been unable to reach any agreement." He sits back down and as the judge writes something down before turning to Lynn's table. "Mr. Edwards, for the record, would you client like to maintain her not guilty plea on count one, assault in the first degree and on count two, assault with a deadly weapon?" Her attorney stands and nods. "Yes your honor."

"And I assume that you have made your client aware that if convicted she would face a minimum of ninety-three to a maximum of hundred and forty-seven months in prison and a fine of up to $50,000?" I swear Lynn's face goes two shades lighter. "Yes, your honor."

"Okay. I will set the trial date to begin December 21st with Jury selection to begin on December 14th. Is there anything either of you would like to add?" _What_ , I thought this was going to be the trial. _What is going on?_. The prosecutor stands quickly. "Your honor, we would like to request, due to the violent nature of the crime, Ms. Wilkins bail be revoked and she remain in custody until the trial." Lynn's attorney jumps out of his seat. "Your honor. Ms. Wilkins has no prior record and maintains this was self defense. She is an outstanding member of society and we believe that revoking her bail is excessive, there is no other evidence that she will be a danger to anyone, including Ms. Courtney. In addition her roots are here in this state, she poses no flight risk."

The judges looks through his papers before looking at the prosecutor. Mr. Leeks, I see there is a restraining order filed on behalf of Ms. Courtney against Ms. Wilkins, is that correct?" I see Mr. Leeks breath in deeply. "It is your honor." I know the answer before he even says it. "In this case I will have to deny your request Mr. Leeks. There is a protection order in place and I do not believe there is enough cause to keep Ms. Wilkins in custody. With that being said." He looks at Lynn. "Ms. Wilkins, you are not to leave the state at any time prior to the trial. In addition, any violation to the protection order and your bail will be immediately revoke and you will remain in custody until the trial. Is that understood?" She stands looking all confident, "Yes your honor." He nods and she sits back down. I knew it, they look at her like she is some educated little princess who does no wrong. I know enough that reputation does play a part in criminal cases. She is being charged with assault with the victim being a person who has been convicted of assault several times.

"Alright, I will see everyone back her on December 14th. Good day to everyone." The judge says as he picks up his folder and leaves hearing everyone say 'good day' back to him. "So what the hell does that mean?" I ask both Simon and Mr. Leeks. Lynn gets up and follows her attorney giving me a smug smile. I go to jump up but Eric grabs my shoulders tightly holding me in my place. "Stupid bitch." I mutter under my breath. "Calm down." Eric hisses in my ear and take a deep breath trying to calm myself. I turn to Simon.

"That means that the trial has been set for December 21st. This is what they cal a pre-trial hearing. We were hoping to get some more evidence which would convince Lynn to take a plea deal but we have not been able to obtain it." My stomach drops. "So this isn't the actual trial yet." I stay shocked. He presses his mouth in a line. "No, today is more of a formality in which parties try to avoid trial but obviously that didn't happen. When this goes to trial we will help prep you to take the stand as a witness and you will explain your side of the story."

"But she gets to remain out of jail until the trial. So she is free to do what ever she likes right?" I feel Eric's hand tighten in my shoulders again and I realize I need to calm down a bit. "We tried to get her bail revoked but it didn't work." Mr. Leeks says with an apologetically. "However she is still banned from coming near you or speaking to you." I laugh, "And what is that going to do. It is a stupid piece of paper. It doesn't do shit. Just ask my dead cousin if that stupid paper worked when her crazy ex-boyfriend who was in jail for assaulting her, got out of jail only hours before he showed up at her house and stabbed her repeatedly, killing her. You and I both know that paper does absolutely nothing."

Eric looked at me shocked. I don't think I have told him about my cousin, but right now I don't care. I am so furious that she is out running free after what she did to me. "Not to mention, how this is going to look in front of a damn jury when they bring up my multiple assault convictions. It is like trying to charge someone with rape a woman whose profession is a fucking prostitute."

"Dani, you need to calm down." Eric warns again. I take another deep breath and lean my head back on his arm. Simon finally speaks up. "Dani I am in the process of trying to get your juvenile record seal. Unfortunately I could not file it until you are finished with your sentence which doesn't end for a few more days. I am trying to get an expedited hearing and if we can get it done prior to trial, they will not be able to use that against you or even bring it up during the trial." I shake my head. "That is a pretty big 'if'." I say quietly. "Please do not worry about this Dani, let us do our jobs and it will work out. Everything points to her guilt." Mr Leeks tells me. I take a deep breath and stand up. All the guys automatically stand when I do. "You know, you all keep telling me not to worry but no one seems to able to offer me any assurances or to tell me I am wrong when I bring up all the shit she can use against me. Good day gentleman." I turn and walk away with Eric stumbling to catch up to me.

I walk to the car in silence and I know Eric is right behind me but he remains quiet. When I reach the car I just wrap my arms around myself lean my forehead against the side. I feel Eric's hand wrap around me and he kisses the back of my hair. "I have a bad feeling about this Eric. Nothing ever goes in my favor." He tightens his grip. "That is not true." He says simply. I turn in his arms to face him. "How is that not true. Everything in my life has been one fucked up mess. Every since I was a kid, my life has been nothing but bad luck and heart ache." I say quietly as I look down at his chest. "Your forgetting one thing princess." I look up at him and he has a slight smile on his face. "You found me. Prince charming remember." He is so adorable. I can't help but smile at him just a little. He leans down and kisses me lightly as Max walks up clearing his throat.

"Come on, lets get back to camp." Eric opens my door and to my surprise he tells me to scoot over as he slides in next to me. I think Max was a bit surprised as well because he freezes but after a minute he just gets into the driver seat. We spend the ride back in silence as Eric holds me tight to his side.

* * *

I am surprised when Max goes into town instead of out camp. "We don't have time to get lunch at the cafe but we can get a quick lunch at Burger King since lunch is almost done at camp." Eric sits up a little straighter. "Sounds delicious." Eric says to Max. "What are you hungry for babe." I just shrug my shoulders. "You didn't eat breakfast, you will eat lunch." I laugh a little at his demanding demeanor. We climb out of the SUV and go into the dinning area.

"Welcome to Burger King. What can I get for you today?" The cute guy behind the counter ask staring right at me, despite my two escorts. "I'll have the double whopper with cheese meal, large with a chocolate shake. What about you babe?" Eric ask me as he drapes his arm over my shoulder. I laugh a little at his little show but it works. The guys eyes fly over to Eric and I see him smirk at the guy. "I am really not that hungry." I say carefully. "Babe, please just eat something. For me?" He says almost pleading. I sigh and I look up at the board. _Something light_. "I will get the chicken apple-cranberry salad and a small tropical mango smoothie."

"I guess that is something." Eric says quietly. "I will have the large whopper meal with a oreo cookie shake." Max tells the guy and then pays for our meal. Eric guides me over to a booth his arm still around me while Max waits for our meal. I really thing Eric just wanted me away from the other guy. "Maybe having you in a skirt isn't the best thing." He says looking a little smug. "What is wrong with what I am wearing?" I really prefer pants but I am curious to see what his excuse is. He smirks at me. "Well nothing really, you look extremely beautiful right now, in fact, is is making my pants quite uncomfortable. The problem is that the other guy that was just starting at you like you were a piece of meat saw it to." I roll my eyes. "Really Eric? You have no reason to be jealous." His eyebrows pull together. "I am not jealous." I laugh out loud. "Eric if you were any more jealous, you probably would have just jumped over that counter and beat his ass."

"That is not true, I was simply showing him that you were not available. I was helping you out." I shake my head. "Ok, keep telling yourself that." Max joins us with our food and we begin to eat. "So Dani, your trial will be during our next session. I will make sure that your schedule is clear." Eric looks at him with a raised eyebrow and Max stops. "Eric, I cannot have both of you gone for an extended amount of time." Eric gets tense. "She needs me there Max, I won't leave her there by herself. Max thinks for a minute. "I will give you a few days but that is all I will promise you Eric. Anyways, we will make it work. Until then I want you both to be careful. I know you are going down to Eric's condo after the wrap off week. Make sure you look out for yourselves, alright?" We both nod our heads.

"So when does the next session start?" I ask Max trying to get my head away from the issue of Lynn. "Well we have two sessions a year. We typically refer to them as the summer session, which is the one we are currently in. Then there is the winter session. This year the winter session will be starting November 23rd. You will be expected to report one week prior to the session and when it ends March 13th, you will be required to stay one additional week. There is typically a lot of paper work that has to be completed and filed with the courts and educational board."

I stop eating and stare at Eric who is dipping his french fries into his chocolate shake. Max notices and stops talking but it takes a second for Eric to look up at me. When he does I raise my eyebrow. "What?" He ask confused. "Are you like five or something?" I ask him laughing. He nudges me with his arm being all playful. "For the record this is the best way to eat fries. You know, the whole sweet and salty thing." I shake my head and his whole body changes, almost sinking in on itself. "Beside, my parents would never take me out for fast food and if I dared to do this, I probably would have gotten a ass whooping for not eating properly." He says quietly. _Wow._ Max takes a deep breath and continues.

"Tris is due April 12th so by then she will be very pregnant. You may be asked to take over toward the end of the session if she is having any issues." I nod my head at him. "Um, Max what about sleeping arrangements? I mean she is staying in her dorm for the wrap up week but what about next session, we don't have any more beds in the cabins." Eric says with a sly smile. "She isn't sleeping in your bed Eric, nice try and I was serious. Your relationship stays between you to except the few times during the session that it is aloud. Don't make me choose like I did with Zeke and Shauna because I will."

"What happen with Shauna and Zeke?" I ask curious. "The cadets caught them fucking in the instructors dorm." I raise my eyebrow. "That's it?" He laughs, "And the gym, and the field. Max finally had enough when the cadets complained they heard them having sex on the lookout camping trip. That is why couples aren't allowed to go together up there anymore." I try to hide my smirk thinking of all the places, Eric and I have been and by the look on his face that is what is going through his mind too. "Anyway, I don't want a repeat of that from you two. Got it." We both nod. Guess we will still have to be careful. "Back to the original subject, I will have sleeping arrangements settled when you guys get back."

"We better head back he says as we finish up our lunch." Tris, you have time to make your archery class for your test if you want to. That way you won't have to make it up. But if you want to wait that is fine." I grab my shake and Eric takes my garbage, throwing it away. "I think I will go. We already have to do our self defense fight and our timed wall climb tomorrow. I would rather get this over with today."

I breath deeply as we get back to camp. Two more days until the end of the session! _Wow!_

* * *

 **I know, I know. I am such a meaning for carrying this over into the sequel. I guess you will have to stay tuned for the next book. Well I will have one more chapter in this book and then we will be off into the sequel. Please tell me what you thought of this book, what worked, what didn't. It was my first shot at writing anything of this magnitude. I would really love your feedback to help me improve my next book. Thank you all in advance! Until next time.**


	42. Chapter 42

**Here is the final chapter of the first book. I really loved writing this story and I can't wait to dive into the next one. Enjoy!**

This is my story. So please keep that in mind if you don't like something. This story is rated M for Lemons, language and situations. Not appropriate for younger readers!

Disclaimer: All divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth, all original characters are mine. V.R. characters look like those in the movie. Hope you all enjoy, reviews and thoughts are welcome.

* * *

 **Chapter 42: Epilogue**

 _(Sunday, September 20th)_

I try to tear my eyes open as I hear the alarm go off. I thought they said we were done. Today was suppose to be a truly free day or so Eric told me. Everyone is suppose to just hang out and relax today. I look over at the clock and see that it is six in the morning, we got to sleep in for a whole hour. The speaker in our alarm clocks come to life "Get dressed and be outside in formation in 10 minutes." Eric's voice says and I can't say I am too upset now. Well at least he gave us ten minutes.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to stay up all night talking. We all went to bed some where around three this morning, thinking we would be able to sleep in. Apparently we were wrong and we are still doing P.T. this morning. I get up slowly and throw on some pants. and grab my hoodie because it feels a little more chilly today. I can always take it off if I need to.

We get outside and lined up but it is different. It looks more like our first day here. The entire staff is outside at the stage peaking my curiosity. Once everyone is lined up Max steps forward on the stage.

"Good morning cadets. It seems like not so long ago, you all were standing in front of me, a bunch of misfits from Chicago. Today you stand in front of me better men and women. Despite what you may think, you all have come a long way in the last four months. All of you past your classes and the average GPA between you is a three point three. That is a 'B' average which is a huge accomplishment for some of you." Tris starts walking around and handing each person a piece of paper.

"I hope that you all have learned a lot here and take it with you, practicing it in your everyday life. Each and every one of you can become more if you are willing to work for it. Just remember, nothing in life is free. This program has a re-offense rate of less than five percent which is almost unprecedented. The staff themselves, mostly consist of previous cadets who made the choice to become more. Others have went on to be everything from doctors, to lawyers, to business owners. Let them be an example of what you can do with your life. It is up to you to make your future."

Tris hands me my paper and I look down at it. The paper is basically our report card for all the classes we have taken. I am shocked as I look down at the scores.

 **Danielle Courtney**

DOB: 06/27/97

Grade: 12

Cumulative GPA - 3.9

 **Total credits earned - 5.0**

Courses/Grade/Credits (credit type):

English - 98%, _0.5 Credits (English/Elective)_

Math - 100%, _0.5 Credits (Math/Elective)_

Science - 97%, _0.5 Credits (Science/Elective)_

Social Studies - 96%, _0.5 Credits (Social Studies/Elective)_

Nutritional Health - 97%, _0.5 Credits (Physical Education/Elective)_

Technology - 99%, _0.5 Credits (Career Education/Elective)_

Archery - 100%, _0.5 Credits (Physical Education/Elective)_

Knife throwing - 98%, _0.5 Credits (Physical Education/Elective)_

Hiking - 100%, _0.5 Credits (Physical Education/Elective)_

Self Defense - 95%, _0.5 Credits (Physical Education/Career Education/Elective)_

Wow, I didn't even feel like I tried very that hard. I mean, a lot of it was just a welcome detraction or a way to deal with extreme boredom. I suddenly hear everyone start talking. Max has continued talking but I have no idea what he was saying. "These are the overall standings." I look up at the screen behind Max.

1 - Dani

2 - Jeff

3 - Steven

4 - Royce

5 - Terrie

6 - Huck

7 - Tara

8 - Patrick

9 - John

10 - Mike

11 - Leeann

12 - Joseph

"Dani and Jeff please join me on the stage." I look over to Jeff and we make our way up onto the stage. When we are both up there, Max stands between us. "Based on the rankings it is clear that these two have worked extremely hard in every aspect of this camp and hard work deserves to be rewarded. At the end of each camp, I always offer the top two cadets positions at the camp. I want to officially announce that both Dani and Jeff have been offered positions here in which they have accepted. They are the next generation of leaders here and we are proud to welcome them." Everyone claps for us and my eyes meet Eric's. His face shows pure pride. Max excuses Jeff and I and we go back down to stand with everyone else.

"Again I want to thank all of you for yet another successful camp. As a parting gift, since I made you throw out your god awful clothes when you arrived, you will find a gym bag with your graduate clothing for you to take back home along with a few other items I would like you to have when you get back from breakfast.. Please enjoy the rest of your day, but be aware your bracelets will not be removed until you get on the buses tomorrow morning. I request you spend today having fun. All items you have earned here should be put in your bags once you receive them so you do not forget them. Please leave all other camp property at your bunk and they will be cleaned out upon your departure. Staff will be on mess haul duty today, but please be sure to attend your final counseling session. You must sign off on your counseling report so it can be filed with the courts since it is a requirement. Failure to do so will result in your sentence as being reported as incomplete and after all your hard work that would be a shame. Enjoy your final day here. Buses will leave here tomorrow morning at seven sharp. You're dismissed."

We all look around. It is a little surreal. Several people come up to congratulate me including the staff. "So how did he know Jeff and would be in the top two?" I ask Eric as he walks up and smiles at me but does not hug me. I guess technically I am a cadet until tomorrow morning so hugging would be inappropriate. "You and Jeff have been out in front of the overall rankings for a while. Tris, can usually gets a good estimate of how well you would do on your testing based on your last four months of work. Normally Max would have waited until the end of the last week to offer the positions but he was fairly certain how it would play out, especially you. You excelled at just about everything you did. You were at the top of both your educational and physical classes, you over came ever obstacle that was put in front of you and for you that was a lot in the last four months. You always pushed yourself to be the best, even when you really were trying to. That is quality Max greatly admires among others you have shown. Bravery, honesty, selflessness, kindness, and to be smart are the all the values this camp is built on. You showed all of them. Weren't you listening to his speech?" He scolds me.

I look down a little embarrassed, "I kind of got caught up looking at my grades and tuned him out." He looked at me with a smirk. "Yes, it was very impressive. Your GPA is the top of the class. You did really well here. I couldn't be more proud of you babe." He says a little quieter so others don't here him and I blush in response. "I will see you later at breakfast." He tells me with a wink and turns back toward the dorms.

* * *

After breakfast we decided to go back to the dorm and clean up a little. We at least I want to clean up a little. It is one of the things I do when I have to many emotions running through my head. I thought about going for a run but I don't want Eric to worry and that would be a red flag. He has learn a lot of my ticks in the last few months so physical activities are out.

When we get back to the dorms, not only are there nice black gym bags on each of our desk but there are also small crystal tablets with uneven edges. It is a plaque of completion. It really is quite beautiful and has my name on it along with 1st Ranked. That is awesome. I look in the bag. There are two sets of black track suits with a blue strip running down the side, several tee shirts, hoodie and jacket all with the Dauntless Bootcamp logo on it. Along with a lanyard, key chain and a few other small objects with the camp name and logo. I guess it is good advertising. I smile at the thought.

I suddenly feel two unfamiliar hands on my waist. I immediately freeze and tighten my fist before taking a deep breath. "Remove you fucking hands before I break them." Whoever it is moves away from me quickly. I turn around pissed off as all hell and see Mike with his hands up like I am going to shoot him. "Please don't hurt me. Christian asked me to do it. He promised me you wouldn't hit me." He whines.

I can't help but laugh at him.

* * *

"So Dani, how are you feeling today." Christian ask. "You mean besides having Mike put his hands on me?" I can tell he is holding back a smile. "You didn't hit him did you? I don't think Max or Mike will be too happy with me if you did." I hold in my smile and try to seem irritated. "No, but if Eric sees that camera footage, I can't promise he will show the same restraint." He laughs, "I will have Max talk to him. But it worked. Instead of reacting out of panic you paused for a moment before you acted. Correct?"

"Yes, I almost kicked him in the balls but I focused on taking a breath, pushing through the tightening in my chest, reminding myself that I am a different person. It gave me enough time to assess the situation before I reacted." he smiles widely. "Good, you are learning. For the record, I knew you would be ok, or I wouldn't have asked him to push you. So besides that, how else are you feeling today?"

I shrug, "Happy, sad, scared." He nods his head slightly like its nothing. "These are all normal feelings. Can you explain how they relate to you specifically?" He ask coaxing my answer to continue. "Well I am happy that I have completed this camp and at the top of the class. I am happy I finally met someone that I am totally in love with. Happy that I have a new job already. But then I am sad that it this is over, if that makes any kind of sense. Over the last four months this has become like the normal and it has become comfortable. I am going to miss all the people I have met here and I am going to miss my old friends as well." He smiles. "An answer I completely expected. How about being scared?"

"Well there is quite a bit for me to be scared about. I am moving here from Chicago based on a relationship that is only a few month old, starting a new job, expected to go through fast paced schooling, and on top of all that I still have to deal with the whole Lynn situation. Not to mention, working on all the things we have went over the last few weeks to help me with my anger and panic attacks."

"Yes, but you have done extremely well and it isn't something that is going to change over night. You will have to continue to work at it and you will be able to get past this. I have all faith in you. Have you considered my offer to continue seeing me once a week? My office is in Seattle, not to far from where you will be living." I take a deep breath, I have thought about it and I really do want to but I don't know about the money. "Christian I really think it would help but I am not sure I can afford to continue to see you." He laughs at me. "I am sure we can work something out. I am going to be here for the winter session as well while Max looks for another replacement. Maybe I will just work it into his cost." He smiles at me. "Sounds like a plan, although, Max has already done so much for me. I am starting to feel like I am taking advantage of him."

"Don't. Max does this to give back to the youth. To give you guys the second chance his son never got. It makes him feel proud to see you succeed, just like you are his own kids." I am shocked by his statement, Max never has said anything about kids. "Max has a son?" He takes a deep breath. "He had a son, but that is something you would have to speak to him about. It is not my place to discuss that with you. It is a touchy subject so please approach it gently if you decide to." I nod.

We continue to talk about my progress and the different techniques to help both my anger and my panic attacks. When we are finished, he gives me a statement to read which really just summarized my known issues and how they have been dealt. It also details the further actions that he has written in during the session. I sign the statement and I feel almost as if this is a closing point. Like this is really the end.

I feel lighter as I walk out of my counseling session. I walk out into the center of the court yard and sit down. I take a deep breath and look around me. I have been through so much, not just in the last four months but in my entire life. I have been through things no one should have to go through, but I can't let those things dictate my life. It is time to put my past and old life behind me. Tomorrow is the beginning of my new life, and I am determined to make my future better than my past!

* * *

 **Well there it is. Let me know your thoughts, on the chapter, book, sequel, what you liked, what you didn't, anything. I look forward to reading them all. As always, Until next time!**


	43. Afterword

**Afterword**

I just wanted to give a special thanks to all my readers out there. When I first started book. I had no idea people would like it so much. I have always love to read others fanfic and my sister told me I should try it. An idea popped into my head one day and I though why not. Then I started getting your guys feedback and I was beyond shocked. Somehow I managed to write what could be considered a full length novel in exactly 50 days.

Actually according to google, the average length of a novel is between, 100k-175k words, so since I am close to the 200k mark, I really could have broken this up into two books. Anyways, this book has been an amazing ride of emotions. All of you helped drive me to continue and to make a sequel and I thank you for that.

I want to give a shout out to everyone who has followed or favorited my book. The list continues to grow daily and it is such an awesome thing. Also to those of you who read as guest, I wish to give each of you a shout out as well. Reading as a guest makes it harder to follow and I really do appreciate your loyalty to the story.

I would also like to thank all of my reviewers:

MzTru2918*

jesslarhea

.3523*

Gw82*

MyHusbandsaPRICK*

kmuscutt23

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Nicole1024

Cassie-D1

Guest (FS)

Guest (Jen)

Niki

canadice*

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Awesomesaurs

mrsbishop21*

zammy156

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Forgetmenot55

jennifersbooknmore

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J*

dcottrell92504

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.55*

interdictum in aeternum*

Chuuuups*

musicinmymind13*

Sasha*

Deedee*

MimiLuvs16*

All Guest reviewers

Those of you with stars. You have been there since the beginning. Thank you all so much! To date this story has 17,600 views and 4,300 visitors from 47 different countries so far. I would say that is an awesome start for my first book. I am sure it may have gotten even more popular if I drew it out a little longer but I know you guys loved my daily updates and I couldn't make you guys wait. Thanks again to each and everyone of you. Readers are what drive the author so give you all a very special thank you straight from my heart!

 ******* **Keep a look for my sequel - Dauntless Bootcamp: The Otherside** ******* \- _Coming soon_


	44. Author's Note

Author's Note:

The Sequel **_Dauntless Bootcamp: The Otherside_** is now up. Hope you enjoy!

**Also, is anyone interested in some pictures to go with the chapters? Please let me know, I have been thinking of opening a tumblr account or something to go along with it. I love visuals so if enough people are interested, I would be willing. Let me know!


	45. DBC Author Note

**Hello Everyone,**

 **So...after a lot of debate, I have decided to make this book into an original story and I need your help. I need to know what you guys liked about this first book, what you didn't like and what questions you were left with that you wish where answered.**

 **Your guys feedback is important to me whether it be negative or positive, short or long, maybe a little to racy, please let me know. Thank you guys so much for helping me out with this. I want to make sure it is the best possible story!**

 **Also, I am looking for an editor if anyone has a suggestion. As most of you know, this book was written extremely fast and has A LOT of grammar errors that need fixing (and thanks again for looking past them). Thanks Again!**

 **Much love to all of you!**


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